After the CBC canceled MVP: The Secret Lives of Hockey Wives – the BEST TV SHOW EVER! (Ok, besides Legend of the Seeker but that got canceled too) it left a void in the female hockey viewer’s life. But weep no more! They have given us BATTLE OF THE BLADES! The Canadian version of Dancing with the Has Beens only they have cast retired NHL players and paired them with Canadian figure skaters! It’s flipping priceless and tonight is the season premiere of the second season! Yes, you heard me – THE SECOND SEASON!

Here’s the line up for this year and don’t worry if you don’t know them – I had to look up some of them too! Valerie Bure, Georges Laraque, P.J. Stock, Todd Warriner, Patrice Brisebois, Theo Fleury, Kelly Chase and Russ Courtnall.

The best part of all this is that the great Jeremy Roenick is one of the judges. You heard me! The only man able to go toe to toe with Mike Milbury on NBC and hold his ground, the man who wept opening on national TV when the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup and won over every woman who watches hockey!

They call it a LOVE STORY between figuring skating and ice hockey – words straight from Kurt Browning – one of the hosts!

They even broke into HNIC yesterday to tell us that Georges Laraque had caught a blade to the forehead and received 12 stitches but would still be able to perform tonight live! YES! Figuring skating AND blood!

So here are my two cents … Since Sidney Crosby has already achieved everything he can possibly achieve in hockey from an Olympic gold medal to the Stanley cup at the tender age of 23, he could retire and that would make him eligble for next season’s BATTLE OF THE BLADES! Then, Pants, you could move to Canada, become naturalized, a pro figure skater and then you could be paired with Sidney! The two of you could practice in Mario Lemieux’s backyard pond for endless hours to the theme song of ICE CASTLES as he gently tosses you in the air and throws you between his legs!

You two would be MONEY to win the… ah … well, Sidney’s charity would win the money. But you’d would have hours alone with him! And then Sidney would have truly accomplished EVERYTHING the Canadian Golden boy could in hockey.