And I don’t care if you don’t understand apostrophes.
@greenlife52
Oh my God, I love Twitter.
And I don’t care if you don’t understand apostrophes.
@greenlife52
Toews does…
I’ve been saving this for a day when there is nothing else to post. Best category on this blog.
Mikey Monday: Countdown
Welcome to today’s edition of “Who Sounds More Canadian?” [link] Okay, it’s from the ASG, but we still have Fidget vs. Squishy.
Fidget wins, of course, since they are not speaking French. (We would die.) Also highlighted in this video: bad camerawork, Stamkos as a babysitter and “Hey Heidi, move your head. We can’t see Mike!”
Mike tunes out halfway through this interview – and honestly, so did we. Picking are slim here kids. There are eight Mondays left till the season starts. On the ninth Monday, Gator and I will be celebrating my birthday with this pair, and Steeeeeeeeeeeeven, and chicken fingers & beer. Let the countdown begin.
Well hello there.
Let’s be honest. We’re not going to get through today without this:
Wake up, Gator. There’s fun to be had.
(So perfect, I can’t stop watching it.)
Birthday Boy: Sidney Crosby
The One and Only turns 24 today. Somewhere in Nova Scotia, he’s as anxious to get back to us as we are to him. He’s been writing, but Mike Green keeps intercepting the mail (we never should have let him watch The Notebook).
You can love Sid (me) or hate him (Dawn), but thanks to his sheer talent and the NHL marketing machine, he is the premiere player in the game today. Even when he doesn’t play. So let’s all pick up lucky Loonies and cross our fingers that Sid’s concussion problems from last season are over for good.
At 24, Sid has a Stanley Cup, an NHL captainship so long it feels old, a Rocket Richard Trophy, a Hart Trophy, an Art Ross Trophy and an Olympic Gold Medal. So much accomplished in such a short time. So what do you get for the guy who has everything?
Just a hug and a hope that 60 days from today he’s hitting the ice at Consol for the Pens first game of the ’11-’12 season, ready to reclaim his rightful place (no mustaches, please). Because hockey is not the same without him.
Happy birthday, Sid. I can’t wait to wear my 87 jersey in DC this year and get booed for you. (Plus you might have to give Mike the Team Edward talk about first dibs and forever and stuff.) It’s going to be a great season – Pens all the way. Bless this post.
Foxy Friday: Kevin Bieksa
@GreenFan52 (sounds like my kinda person!) suggested KB3 for this week’s Foxy Friday honor. What do you think?
He hits (104 in 66 games this season). On occasion he fights (3 this year… wait, he fought Patrick Marleau?!). Mostly he’s just Juice and for every second you hate him, you can’t help but love him too. He’s a joker and a spaz and totally in love with Ryan Kesler.
Kevin Bieksa is what Sean Avery dreams about. He’s a pain in the ass instigator type who won’t back down and throws other teams’ top offense off their game. He’s effective. He’s intentional. And he’s smart. Bieksa was +32 this season. That’s tied for 2nd overall.
And if the stats, the jokes and the personality don’t convince you, well…
It's T-Shirt Time!
Where does Evgeni Malkin shop? Seriously. Because I want to go to there.
There’s nothing like a built-in white shirt underneath your other shirt, especially if it’s a scoop neck.
Geno is the most endearing person in the whole world. If he were a puppy, he would have to be multiple puppies to handle all the hugging. And all the t-shirts I would buy.
Throw Away the Key
So Sean Avery is a moron. In other news, water is wet.
Avery was arrested early this morning for shoving a Hollywood, CA police office who was responding to a noise complaint about a loud party at Avery’s house [link, and yes I picked the TMZ one on purpose]. He must have had The Hangover turned up all the way because we can’t imagine anyone hanging out with this prize. He was taken to jail and bail set at $20,000.
John Buccigross, the most effective fact-tweeter in the business, pointed out that Dallas still pays half of Sean Avery’s salary. They’re paying $950,000 a year to keep him away. Can they get a portion of his bail, like an economic stimulus package?
It’s a shame, really, because we applaud Sean Avery’s efforts on behalf of legalizing gay marriage in NY. It actually made us like him for a minute. But supporting a good cause has not shaken the stupid out of him. Being an NHL instigator and being a moron are not the same thing. NY1 News Video here.
I'm A Liar – THIS is My Moment of Zen And THEN Some:
sweet mother of god - there are no words.
After the week I’ve had …. HELLO KRIS! May I join you? *SIGH* It’s not Friday yet but thank god you exist!
And thank you for going on vacation and taking your shirt off once again. I command it!
My Moment Of Zen.
Ovi AND Chocolate - Oh Yes! HEAVEN!
And it’s real sisters! Road trip to Canada ….
Rumor Has It … Rumor Has It… Rumor Has it.
oh boy, watcha gonna do know?
I’m leaving him for YOU. Cue Adele. Well. I heard a rumor that DDTBG was holding out for more dough, ah, I mean signing with the Kings because he was waiting to see what Shea Weber was going to do during his arbitration. Why you ask? Well the mill said he felt he was on par with the mighty Weber and what he could get, DDTBG could get or more.
7.5 million dollar man
I say, Weber hasn’t been touched by god – he may be touched by a mighty beard in play-off times, a slap shot that would put fear in many a goalie, many of our loyal readers may want to touch him – cue Samatha Fox – yes I WENT THERE! For those of you who have NO IDEA WTF I’m talking about -she was Ke$ha before, well just watch for yourself. But ah, not feeling the comparison. And I’ll leave it at that. Not touching it with a ten-foot pole because everyone knows how much I LOVE DDTBG.
Now the Hockey Gods have spoken, I don’t think it’s quite what DDTBG was hoping for; 7.5 million and a one year contract. While that may buy DDTBG a whole lot of IN N OUT BURGERS, it’s not the golden ticket to security I think he was hoping for with the KINGS, or should I say, the golden throne, the golden contract, the golden crown, OK, I think you get the analogy.
Now he’s caught between Timmy the Tank and a goal post and that’s not a good place to be. Vancouver knows how that feels!
hard times... hard times are comin'
The 5 Year Plan
… move to Chicago. Because this guy is sticking around.
Former Foxy Friday honoree Patrick Sharp signed a 5-year deal with the Blackhawks today (dollar amount not released). I’d sign him to a 5-year contract with my fantasy hockey team for how many points he scored me last year. He played 74 games, had 71 points and was 8th overall in goal scoring. Also, his hair.
There’s really no point in Chicago Magazine running their “50 Most Beautiful Chicagoans” feature next year, unless some rule prevents Sharpie from being on the cover two years in a row. Maybe Tazer could volunteer in his place, like The Hunger Games.
Nobody Puts Baby in a…
Gator interrupted our NHL Store shopping spree to inform us that it’s National Watermelon Day. While this has nothing to do with hockey, it has everything to do with a Top 10 All-Time film clip.
What would be more summery? So happy Watermelon Day, and remember your dance space.
Howl at the Moon
I have lost Chuck a midst the mess of this office. She’s probably buried under a pile of old Jets jerseys and cannot reach her keyboard, which is the only reason she hasn’t posted this.
Teen Wolf had his day with the Cup in Ontario last week. You can watch the video [link]. I really wish I’d ridden to my wedding on a zamboni!
Tyler brought the Cup to a hospital, a field then a club. And filled the thing with vodka we hope was strong enough to kill the germs off 100 people all drinking out of it. Werewolves have super immune systems though, so no worries.
And thus the Seguinistas retire to a summer of waiting and wishing, like the rest of us. Chuck, are you out there?
On the Road with Flower
While we are bored, sweltering and waiting for October, Marc-Andre Fleury has been in Africa. Well fine. I thought getting heat stroke at Hershey Park with Gator was an exciting event.
You can watch the interview [link] and get the mad giggles from listening to him talk. Can you picture him in a pith helmet? There is no one cuter than Flower. Sid also misses the adorbs and is apparently visiting MAF this week in Montreal. Gas up the car!
Clearly we need to reconsider how we spend our summer vacation.
Once Upon a Time in 1996…
Raise your hand if you asked Brian Rolston to your high school prom.
Really, just me?
There are a lot of hockey-related things I could fire my HS BFF for, but this is not one of them. This was a solid decision back in the day. Of course I knew he would say no, what with being plenty older than I am and AHL hockey being over by June. And what my hair looked like those days. But still… I asked him (circa 1996).
This past May, I pretty much ran away from Steven Stamkos on an empty street. My skills are not improving.
The Devils traded Brian to the Islanders last week. Then they signed Zach Parise to a one year deal that probably means his days in NJ are numbered. Get this – the Islanders are taking players on to reach the NHL minimum payroll under the current salary cap: $48.3 million. Time for a shopping spree (and more cupcakes).
Mikey Monday: Heat Wave
It’s hot as hell outside and all I wanna do is this. #isitoctoberyet ??
Kris Letang Reads Our Blog!
Was I not just lamenting the other day that Kris Letang had not done right by all of us and gone shirtless recently? Well evidently he read my post, hopped on a plane and jetted to a sunny destination where he promptly removed his shirt and started drinking fruity drinks.
why thank you, I'll have what's he's having and then some!
Can I hear a hallelujah from all you sisters out there? Because that is how powerful my posts are! When I ask Kris Letang to take his shirt off, HE OBEYS! DAMN IT!
nothing to see here ladies. nothing to see here. absolutely nothing to see. nada.
And I’m not going to point out the obvious, OK, yes I am, but is that a Penguin in your pants or were you glad I asked you to take your shirt off? JUST SAYIN. HAPPY FRIDAY WUYSIES! 😉
have a great day too!
There Are No Words
Since Rae bought me a beer last night, I’m posting this picture of Ovi for her. Please tell me that’s not underwear, then jeans and then sweatpants. I must be hallucinating.
Not to mention he has his shirt off, in public, in China.
You don’t have to ask Jon what he thinks.
No really, don’t hold back.
Foxy Friday: Doug Dorsey
It’s so freakin’ hot in DC that all I want to do is turn on the A/C and watch a movie. This movie.
Admit it, you have this movie memorized. You’ve been known to say “Parlez-vous Olympics?!” and “Doug can read.” in conversation. You want Doug to put his hands “WHERE?!” and you don’t care if he calls you Rita or Anita in the morning.
You wish there was really a bar called the Penalty Box full of crotchety locals who think you just said “finger painting.” You’d love a Bobby Hull game sweater and you’d break up with Hale the minute Doug walked in (or just because his name is Hale).
For Doug Dorsey, you’d definitely put the Pemchenko Twist in the program and you’d always remember who said it first. They just don’t make movies like this anymore.