October, you beauty. We wait all year, and usually you arrive with a terrifying array of fresh mug shots or ransom photos calling themselves roster head shots. But this year, you have arrived in style.
![sid roster](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/sid-roster.jpg)
I have high hopes for a pirate Halloween costume.
Take this in: Sidney Crosby woke up on roster photo day and did not shave. Good gosh. He probably ironed the folds in his living room curtains, ate a PB&J at exactly 8:07 AM, put his clothes on in order of threadcount, but he did not shave. Crazy, right?
No. Because everyone’s doing it.
![jt roster](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/jt-roster.jpg)
And for JT, I’m thinking Indiana Jones for Halloween.
Literally everyone. John Tavares, who are you? Is that a kinda-beard? For someone who doesn’t know what hipsters are, you’re looking pretty… pretty. Like a pumpkin spice latte wrapped in a houndstooth scarf that insists on riding its bike until the first snow falls. Gotta get to that middle school science class you’re teaching!
![jt roster 2](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/jt-roster-2.jpg)
You know, Indiana Jones was a kind of science teacher.
Please let scruff be this season’s thing. We’ve had long hair and tattoos creeping toward necks-slash-featuring graveyards and… #ScruffWatch2015, please. A season-long build up to BeardWatch could be just the inspiration we all need!
![han scruffy](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/han-scruffy-500x210.gif)
Right guy, wrong movie.
Here are links if you’re the type to enjoy a HUGE version of Sid’s photo. Just give up, everyone else. (There appear to be a few pixels missing right under his nose. Clearly a Flyers fan Photoshop hack, yes?) Here’s the entire Penguins headshot gallery.
Also enjoy the Islanders roster, looking monochromatically dramatic.
These pictures are gigantic. You could make a life-sized cardboard cutout of John Tavares… and marry it. (I say “you” because I am already married. Is it polygamy to marry a photo? What if it just rides shotgun while I drive in the carpool lane?)
![tina fey](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/tina-fey-500x341.jpg)
“Listen up Fives, a Ten is speaking.”
[Note: I can’t find a single .gif of Princess Unikitty from The Lego Movie saying, “Marry a marshmallow!” and my despair nearly derailed this whole post.]
![As promised.](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/tweeeet-500x139.png)
As promised.
For heaven’s sake, even Kessel is rocking a gingerbeard, because he reads important news sources like this blog. Let the makeover begin.
![phil roster](http://wuys.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/phil-roster.jpg)
Make that a Pittsburgh Ten
Tags: john tavares, New York Islanders, phil kessel, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby
Phil’s gingerbeard is a nice homage to the gingerbeards that have come and gone (Paul Martin! I’m going to try to stay up late for you!) but it’s a bit too much neckbeard? Still, I’m just so happy he’s here–he can do whatever he’d like.
THE PITTSBURGH TEN!!!! YAS.
I’ll say it again, Pants – guaranteed a woman organized those shots of the Islanders. When else would black and white, gritty photography and dewy skin be the go-to for headshots? (Bless her, whomever she is)
And I’ve saved that pic of Sid on every device, every computer I access. Bless YOU, Pants!
Check out Nick Leddy!!! Holy Schnikey! That is one nice yearbook headshot.
Hnggg inappropriate thoughts abound. 87 & 81 meee-owww
Jean-Sebastien Dea ❤❤❤ yee-ikes… and who is the dude next to Malkin?? And can they both tuck their sexy away because I am an unaffected intelligent hockey fan who just happens to be female and they don’t at all make me want to immediately start catcalling