With no warning, as I strolled through Whole Foods, I saw this on my phone:
You better believe I thought I’d shuffled off this mortal coil, right there in front of the bulk lentils. I wondered how, in the distant future, when my husband met me in the afterlife I would explain that picture of Jonathan Toews that had done me in all those decades ago.
Alas, this is real. Congratulations to us – no way we earned it, but we accept.
My thoughts, in order, as the Jonathan Toews ALS Ice Bucket Challenge video came into my life:
This is because of that time I said Kane had become more attractive, isn’t it?
I didn’t mean that.
Really, it was crazy talk.
What kind of shorts are those?
Is he just surfing now? How long can momentum last? Oh the boat’s slowing down. This should be a science program.
Jon use to be boring and serious. Now look. Can we expect this from John Tavares in the future and exactly when will this occur because the calibrations on my time machine must be exact.
He’s got tan lines for these shorts. He’s been wearing them all summer.
I wish this were in hi-res. Probably better it’s not though. I’m barely over Benedict Cumberbatch’s “Ice Bucket in the Shower” video.
Am I still in the supermarket? All these people are looking at me. It’s only been 45 seconds. They must think I’m comparing all these beans.
Is it over? Don’t be over.
No, you keep the bucket.
One last shot. The Blackhawks were right with Jon’s contract: he’s a 10.5
Wow. I finally figured out what to tell my husband when we meet at the Pearly Gates. Remember when Rant Sports ranked 15 Pro Athletes Who Would Steal Your Girlfriend in a Heartbeat?
Toews is #1. Told ya so.
Reminder: If you can, please donate to ALS research at www.alsa.org. This campaign has raised a huge amount of money, but it’s important to remember that it’s not just about wakeboarding and hot pants. Real people are benefiting from all this attention.
Tags: Chicago Blackhawks, jonathan toews