Sometimes life is a movie, and I wrote it.
Getting to the gold medal game was no easy feat for Canada. Getting up at 7 AM on a Sunday was not easy for me. Good thing we both brought our A games.
If I scripted yesterday’s gold medal match, it would go something like:
Jonathan Toews scores the first goal. Squint and you can see his superhero outfit showing around the edges of his hockey gear. There is nothing not to love and admire about the way Jon plays game. He is a hero – his goal the game-winner, his heart the fiercest.
See, I sound like some Disney schmaltz already.
Then, without scoring a goal in the entire Olympic tournament, Sidney Crosby would find himself on a breakaway and put one past the goalie. The Rangers goalie. He doesn’t have to score to be Sid but damn it would feel good to shut people up.
After that he’d lose his helmet, just in case you didn’t remember what you were dreaming about before the early morning alarm.
At the break, some genius would drown out Milbury and Roenick with a shot of John Tavares looking sharp in a suit. Gone is Friday’s ugly striped tie. We’ll credit his adorable girlfriend with that one – now she’s really got the best seat in the house.
Canada would steer, if not quite dominate, the game – enough to allow my heart rate to drop below DEFCON ONE. In the third, just to crush any comeback hopes, much-maligned Chris Kunitz would get his first goal of the Olympics. Too little, too late? Sock monkey, don’t care.
When the buzzer sounded, joy would erupt. Hugs would fly. Toews would fall on his ass in the net in celebration.
Aaaaaand there’s a GIF of this. Bless everyone.
Sid would do this.
PK Subban would emerge in full gear and help John make it onto the ice without crutches.
The anthem would play. Medals would be distributed. Toews would smile and derp at the same time, a combination previously thought impossible by science.
Jamie Benn would have a haircut and a bit of a shiner, practically raising his hand in the front row and begging to be Foxy Friday.
John would be the most polite person on Earth.
Thankyounod.
Sid would get teased, right up until they put that medal around his neck.
There would be moments to pluck your heartstrings:
Hair to envy:
And smiles for days.
My favorites would all line up, John’s pain over the season-ending injury would be eased and Matt Duchene would be gracefully grateful for his chance to step into the lineup.
And after, Team Canada would stay for the closing ceremonies. Their victorious captain would do a mad dash backstage, searching for a pair of black pants to wear to the event. Of course no one else’s pants would be up to task.
Alison would offer $50 to anyone who dropped something in front of Crosby, getting him to try to bend over in borrowed pants. I say we can come up with a lot more cash than that.
Mike Smith would carry Marty St. Louis on his shoulders in the closing ceremonies Parade of Nations.
Is it called “Parade of Nations” or am I just thinking of EPCOT?
At the end we’d all turn our eyes toward the remaining NHL season. Or later, if need be. Hopes and dreams – the chase has just begun.
Epilogue: I wish we could have given Team USA a better ending. Bronze at least. After Saturday, I can’t handle a replay of all the Sad Kaner Faces – or anyone talking about him as a failure. Bad day. Incredibly player. Anyone who thinks otherwise based on one (or two) games, isn’t watching much hockey.
Tags: 2014 Olympics, Team Canada
I’ve been really bitter for the past few days – with the women losing their 2-0 lead, and eventually losing to Canada, and the Men’s not even placing, at all – I just feel like my heart has been ripped out my chest and stomped on. I feel like everyone whom I convinced to watch hockey because it’s awesome – thinks I lied. I just want the NHL back so I can start loving my favorite’s again – even if they are Canadian, and I screamed, “ugh i’m so mad at youuuuuuuuuuuuuu,” at the tv several times… (picture me saying this in the sid voice during the all star commercial a few years ago where he gets mad at the obscene amounts of room service and says, “ovechkin,” and shakes his fist!). That’s how I’ve felt these past few days.. 🙁 It will be better soon – my Bruins will all be in tact, no more seeing sad face Kaner, or dejected Parise – and I won’t have to look at Kessel. 🙂
You just summed up exactly how I’ve been feeling. I’m a little worried my bitterness is going to carry back over to the NHL but the Penguins don’t have a game until the 27th so I’m trying to get myself together by then.
Let’s be friends. Because this exactly how I feel. I’m so sad about the women. Glen Healy called Patrick Kane selfish and I threw things at the TV. Patrick Kane cried. I’m going to guess that Geno is hiding somewhere, more broken than any of the rest of us. Paul Martin finally got to play for his country and now is broken. My heart is broken.
In the meantime, I’m going to watch a lot of college basketball, and hope that I’m ready for hockey again on Thursday.
I feel the same way. I’ve been super-cranky and itching for NHL to start back up so I can go back to cheering for my Bolts, regardless of where they’re from. Happy for some of the Canada team and still hate some of them lol. So excited for Marty!
The photo of Squishy on Smith’s shoulders – OMG – I can’t.
Dying.
There is also:
– Mike Babcock: recording the Closing Ceremonies on his camera phone like a dad, taking a selfie like a gem, sassing the press like a boss (“Does anyone know who won the gold medal? See ya guys.”)
– Matt Duchene singing O Canada at the top of his lungs when his teammates are all mumbling along – he doesn’t care, he’s an OLYMPIC CHAMPION
– PK Subban winning the Internet – “SUP”: http://instagram.com/p/kwz2QuBmlt/
While I miss my teams….can Team Canada never, ever end? Perfect, for always.
That ‘Sup was the cutest, happiest, most adorable sup in the history of sups. When I’m having a bad day, I will track down that sup and feel better.
Full support for Jamie Benn as Foxy Friday! His post game Friday sealed it. He is bashful! I also just discovered that his dad and my dad are work associates. This means literally nothing but maybe I can score some free Stars tickets….
PS – My Toews feelings are implicit.
I am totally on board with a Jamie Benn Foxy Friday! YEAH!
He has my vote. Benn for Foxy Friday!
I was already a ball of emotion and then that post-game interview with Sid happened and I never recovered. These last four years have been so scary, and he made it through. SOB.
It was also great to see two wonderfully derpy, socially awkward humans (Tazer and Sid) being so darn personable and cute. I mean, Sid was actually willingly touching people! And Toews was smiling adorably during the closing ceremony festivities!
That being said, I’m so sad that the USA men didn’t medal (and that the women couldn’t get gold.) And my god, Sad Kaner is seriously going to be the death of me. I’m not a Kane/Toews shipper by any stretch of the imagination but seeing Toews hugging it out with Kane after the US/Canada game made me feel all the feels. Poor Kaner.
Marty on Mike’s shoulders just made my day!
this post is perfect.
Poor Scott Salmond looks like he’s wearing clown pants! And of course, Crosby found his pockets right away. I’ll bet those pants got stretched beyond all recognition.
I had no idea there was such bromance between Subban and Tavares. I was touched when Subban helped Tavares to the ice. I really wish Team USA could’ve gotten it done, of course, but I’m not upset that these guys did it.
I said it on Sunday, but Canada’s win over Sweden shows that adorkable always beats the hell out of handsome. Also, like others, I’m so happy to have our NHL teams back together, and not to have to cheer against players I like anymore!
I SO BADLY want to watch the sid post-gam interview but it’s unavailable in Canada (in the words of Price on the Subby-Cam ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaat?’). Does anyone know where I can find this?!