Let’s Talk About…

I wish you guys could have been in my living room while I was watching this.

 

It’s only pre-season and Mr. Pants’ attempts to get attention over hockey have reached new heights.  He immediately started blasting music and dancing.  When that didn’t work, he went into the kitchen and started doing the dishes. Desperation mode.

Sorry, nothing distracts when Sid is on TV – and I don’t need to hear him.

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Poor Crosby, it’s not his fault every interview is deadly boring.  I’d almost given up hope when Alison sent this Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story about Sid, Duper and Kunitz.  It’s cute and sassy and they you get to this:

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CAPTAIN CRAZYPANTS, we love you.  This is the kind of stuff Kathryn Tappen should be asking.  If she could keep a straight face.  Fear of black cats is the lamest superstition available and frankly Sid, I expected more out of you.

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Since Kathryn has a lot going on in these interviews, including being a poised, professional broadcaster, we’d like to suggest a few questions should she ever start to nod off while Sid’s sports cliche-ing ad nauseum:

Do you buy a new white shirt for every interview?  Or is that Oxy Clean magic?

Do your new teeth still feel weird?  They’re still kinda weird to us.

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Were you nervous that folding chair might not be up to the task?

Do you like this mood lighting?

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What kind of moisturizer to do you use?

Do you ever vacation in, say, Nebraska, where no one recognizes you?

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Would you marry a commoner American?

Really, why is it so dark in here?

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If a black cat suddenly appeared from the shadows, what would you do?

Explain this look.

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Now that it’s gone, can I just…?

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Remember that time you hit a home run at batting practice?

Do you have any more of these shirts?

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Will you make me a PB&J?

Are you busy on November 22? I want to see Catching Fire.

Since this happened:

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And this is happening:

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What are the chances of this Halloween costume?

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Have you ever given out James Neal’s phone number instead of your own?

Would you do that now?

Was this headline a little misleading?

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Do you ever not say what you want to say in an interview?

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Are you doing it right now?

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Leave a Reply

  1. Jesus Christ, Pants. Your Crosby posts always ruin me.
    That hair gif – dead on the cold hard floor.

    #boyfriendshirt

  2. Heather Reply

    Um….That’s a lot of cows!

  3. “Were you nervous that folding chair might not be up to the task?”

    Dying.

    Leave it to you to write the questions we all really want the answers to! I petition for you to take Kathryn Tappen’s job

  4. Tiffany Reply

    “Do you have anymore of these shirts?” You’re killing me.

    How about the pants, Sid, anymore of those?

  5. OMG the halloween costume, I would die!

  6. Seriously, can’t you just get hired by some respectable media outlet? This was the best part of my week.

  7. Jane Reply

    Sidney must adopt a black cat, maybe even two. It would be a nice gesture on his part. Black cats at shelters are sometimes overlooked because of people’s superstitions.
    I would happily volunteer to cat-sit for him when he’s on the road. It would be a bit of a commute for me, but I think I could manage it.

  8. Kellee Reply

    The amount of squealing that just happened probably has my new neighbors rethinking their decision to move in.

  9. Heather (HockeyValleyGirl) Reply

    Sweet Jeebus Pants!!! Hubs is buying ear plugs and ignoring my squeals of delight until June 2014!

    #boyfriendshirt #boyfriendpants

    And if Sid is giving out Nealer’s number, consider me in line!

  10. Danielle Reply

    I literally laughed out loud, sitting here at the mall eating my Chick-fil-A, when I saw the halloween costume suggestion!

  11. Sorry, Kathryn Tappen–you need that job. You would clearly do it right. Even the men would watch. Nobody ever asks the questions that really need answering!

    The folding chair and Halloween costume ones made me howl.

    He should vacation in Florida, where I’m pretty sure that until recently, people were asking which school he played football for. (I can say that as a native Floridian.) As for the moisturizer, I know the answer to that. His poor dear face gets tenderized by pucks, sticks, and elbows!

  12. Kristi Reply

    Those gifs captured all the sass. mm. My only complaint is that you asked mostly yes/no questions, which we know doesn’t keep him talking! Or lips moving.. talking, lips, same thing.

    And Lilo – I had the same feeling. As a native Floridian, I feel he would be very in cognito down South. I remember being extremely frustrated growing up 30 min outside of Tampa with people who didn’t know who Vinny was. Seriously?

  13. Susan Reply

    When I first started getting into hockey I didn’t really understand why girls found Sidney so attractive.
    But now I get it, I totally get it.
    Either that or you guys have brainwashed me.

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  15. Justin Reply

    I dare u to say any of that to Sid.
    – Justin

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