Be honest.
Henrik Lundqvist is probably a vampire.
I read a lot of young adult fiction, which clearly qualifies me as an expert on this topic. Not just Twilight, but Chuck and I are racing through The Mortal Instruments series and everyone’s saying we need to read Vampire Academy. My point was proven yesterday when I assumed everyone knew that vampires are very fast. Apparently their secrets are still safe from some humans.
Look at these photos, consider the traits they capture and tell me this is a normal human being:
- Ridiculously handsome
Click any photo for higher res, or visit the new edition of MrPorter.com.
- Preternatural agility, speed and reflexes
- Nearly unflappable calm
You may ask (I hope you’re not asking guys, come on. Really.) how a vampire could show up in photos. Well it worked on Buffy, and around here what Joss Wheadon says, goes.
- Classic, elegant style in keeping with any era of history.
- Does pretentiously uber-wealthy things like lie on pianos over imported tile without irony
- No reflection in this window
- Doesn’t age
- Sparkles in the sun
- Lives in the city that never sleeps
- Perfect teeth
- Casually eschews basic human prejudices, like wearing black with navy
- Visits Italy
- Feasts once a year, in the playoffs, on the bright red blood of the Washington Capitals
I’m onto something here, I can feel it. Maybe it’s because I just finished A Discovery of Witches (not YA, thanksverymuch), which reads like 594 pages of describing King Henrik to someone who’s never watched a Rangers game.
Now excuse me while I put on Concrete Blonde’s Bloodletting and plan my Halloween costume.
Tags: Henrik Lundquist, New York Rangers
New favourite post of life. Vampire Henrik can bite me anytime.
GOD Yes. Bite my neck, Henke. Or lower.
If True Blood has taught me anything, it’s that Swedish vampires are the best vampires.
PS – *standing ovation* for this post
PPS – I’m sorry, but he looks like an old man in that picture by the golf cart. It’s the vest. And the golf. He’s challenging EStaal for the title of “Everyone’s Grandpa Ever.”
Wikipedia says Hank is 31 years old. Thirteen months older than I am. How can that even be possible?
Ohhhh…. Thank you. Trembling with abject and shameless glee. Adoration. Joy. The. King. Has. Returned.
I failed to also mention… Those Eyes. Sigh…I guarantee than when masked up? Whether NYR or his beloved Tre Kronor. Heck, he could don a mask of ANY team anywhere… I’d still know it was him. Those Eyes are just that unique, expressive, amazing. Damn, I’m gushing, aren’t, I? Ok, back to fantasies of neck sucking… Yours or mine, Handsome?
Pants, in the midst of a very rough week, this post was a much-needed bright spot, so I thank you.
My favorite part of this post is of course, the annual feasting on the blood of the Capitals in the playoffs. The piano pic caption is a close second.
Like Mandy, I am also available to be bitten at any time that would be convenient for Henrik (and I’m conveniently located in NYC!). And like Pants, I am now going to put Bloodletting on repeat.
Thanks Pants! Like Brenda this was a much needed lift in the middle of a bad week. This is now my second favorite WUYS post of all time! Henrik’s Foxy Friday post will always be my favorite. I had just revisited it yesterday to give me a respite in my bad day. You hit the nail on the head when you said looking at him makes you feel fluffy and happy. I certainly have a smile on my face, and I’ve pulled my hair up so my neck is free for biting in case Henrik wonders by.
Everything about this post!! So true!
Sidenote: I am also speeding through The Mortal Instruments and agree that you definitely need to read Vampire Academy, it’s my absolute favorite and totally amazing! If you’re liking TMI, you’ll definitely enjoy VA.
And he’s a TWIN!!! There are TWO of them. Can I get an AMEN?!?!
(Mortal Instruments are amazing books. For God’s sake, DO NOT see the movie. SO bad….)
Preach, sistah!