Henrik Lundqvist is probably a vampire.
I read a lot of young adult fiction, which clearly qualifies me as an expert on this topic. Not just Twilight, but Chuck and I are racing through The Mortal Instruments series and everyone’s saying we need to read Vampire Academy. My point was proven yesterday when I assumed everyone knew that vampires are very fast. Apparently their secrets are still safe from some humans.
Look at these photos, consider the traits they capture and tell me this is a normal human being:
- Ridiculously handsome
Click any photo for higher res, or visit the new edition of MrPorter.com.
- Preternatural agility, speed and reflexes
- Nearly unflappable calm
You may ask (I hope you’re not asking guys, come on. Really.) how a vampire could show up in photos. Well it worked on Buffy, and around here what Joss Wheadon says, goes.
- Classic, elegant style in keeping with any era of history.
- Does pretentiously uber-wealthy things like lie on pianos over imported tile without irony
- No reflection in this window
- Doesn’t age
- Sparkles in the sun
- Lives in the city that never sleeps
- Perfect teeth
- Casually eschews basic human prejudices, like wearing black with navy
- Visits Italy
- Feasts once a year, in the playoffs, on the bright red blood of the Washington Capitals
I’m onto something here, I can feel it. Maybe it’s because I just finished A Discovery of Witches (not YA, thanksverymuch), which reads like 594 pages of describing King Henrik to someone who’s never watched a Rangers game.
Now excuse me while I put on Concrete Blonde’s Bloodletting and plan my Halloween costume.Tags: Henrik Lundquist, New York Rangers