Stripping Down to Dirty Socks

If you got 21 seconds with Jonathan Toews, is this how you would spend it?


I used to be a ski racer.  I can have someone out of that much gear with time left over for hot chocolate.

Bauer hired Toews, Kane, all the Staals (sorry Jared) AND Giroux to star in their new “base layer” (read: underwear) commercials.  If we’d been aware of this…

And you’ll wish we had.  WHAT A WASTE!  Don’t they know we’re in a lockout?  We don’t get to see any fighting or yelling or 24/7, no “Gabe: Prom?” signs or bromances or sweating.  It’s a hockey recession and this is like burning perfectly attractive money.

This one’s funny though.

I can’t always tell the Staaaaaaaaals apart without golden wings and Intern Jeff Skinner hanging around.

I’m not convinced the picture of underwear at the end has anything to do with it.  Are there laws against false advertising?

Kaner and his shirt off go together like shits & giggles, but we get this:

The biggest waste of them all?  He didn’t wear a shirt all summer and there’s no beer pong in sight.


If the lockout doesn’t get sorted soon, I suggest the NHLPA hire us as their PR department.  We’ll go all off out and put those #theplayers approval ratings through the roof.

Thanks, as always, to our girls:

PS: You know it’s a good day when you can use a Ke$ha lyric in a post.


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  1. Seriously?!?!!! Why are they not in the underwear that this commercial is all about???? It’s like the total opposite of what Abercrombie does by advertising clothing with naked models.

  2. I’m with Jess – Bauer fail! Although they’ve probably been trolling the Internet and know that they can’t putt these guys in underwear for underwear ads with people like us around.

  3. Cassy Reply

    The end of that first sentence should have read; “Especially if it’s Sidney Crosby, Mike Green, Jonathan Toews or Claude Giroux.”

    And the order of those Staals, left to right (without the video OR enlarging mwah ha) is:

    Eric, Marc, Jordan. 🙂

    Love ya. Pls keep it up!

    • Pants Reply

      Cassy! I can tell in the FIRST Staal video! It’s Dad, Ginger and JTown, or as I prefer to think of them Yes, No and YES.

      What about the 2nd and 3rd Staal videos? I’ve got nothing.

      • Pretty sure that in the 2nd and 3rd ones it’s Eric on skates and Jordan in the shoes.

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  5. MouthGuard Reply

    Yeah but aren’t the Staals wearing the knee socks? Maybe I suck but I swear they’re wearing the knee socks. Without the garters…

    Push comes to shove, these guys are WAYYYY too uptight to be seen in their undies. My strategy works much better: 2 sips of sake and they’re 3 sheets. Then put a bag over their head(s) and do your business!!!

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