Somewhere in the world, Jonathan Toews is playing golf [link].

It’s July.  Work with us on the “news” here.

It’s for a good charitable cause too –  not just an excuse to dust of the old “Toews Does Squats” category.

Okay, it’s arguably not a squat.  But who says Captain Wonder Bread is not fun?  What are you looking at, Jon?  Can you really see better now?  This is so gratuitous it’s practically a Magic Mike dance move – forget quiet golf-clapping.  We brought US Dollars (none of that coin currency nonsense).

Someone filmed this and lived to upload it.  Or maybe it shared itself like the video from The Ring and now that you’ve seen it…

Jonathan was also nice enough to ruin the expectations of these two little girls before they even had a chance to like normal boys:

A lot of stories are reporting that Tazer is calling and texting players as part of the Hawks trade and recruitment strategy for the off-season.  Don’t all captains do this?  It didn’t work on Parise, but might work on Shane Doan [link].

Also, we get unlimited text messaging.  Just saying.

Enjoy the part at 3:12 where Jon actually cheats.  At a sport.  While laughing.  See?  Sense of humor!

(This one is for Amanda, Lindsay, Jess and Alison.  By the power of Twitter.)