Did everyone enjoy the Nickelback Convention last night? The Awkard Turtle Unfunny Comedy Tour?
There were a few bright spots, like Will Arnett. Especially when he shanabanned Ovi for blocking Brooks Laich’s parking spot and sentencing him to ride on the back of Mike Green’s scooter.
WHY CAN’T THIS BE REAL LIFE?
While peering between our fingers at the anguish of embarrassment onstage, we of course noted how well-dressed and handsome most of the NHL looked. After months of beards that would get a guy double-frisked at the airport, it’s a reminder that hockey players clean up pretty nicely. Here are some of our favorite fashion moves:
THE PLAID
If you Google “Giroux plaid suit,” three of the top six results are from this blog. No joke. That’s 42% – the same percentage of Claude Giroux‘s clothes that are plaid. Coincidence? He wore this to Media Day:
One plaid is not enough.
Of course, the plaid-tasticness on display at the Awards ceremony, where Claude was announced as the EA Sports NHL13 cover winner. He said, “I’m not sure I’m a model.” Only because celebs don’t get photographed wearing the same clothes every damned day.
Claude did bring something new to the show – BizNasty. This was my favorite moment of the Red Carpet because all three of them were thinking the same thing (as the rest of us): Sex tape.
THE VEST
This is by far our favorite fashion trend. Adam Henrique has been wearing this three-piece suit for weeks now – hey, he had to do a lot of playoff pressers. Here’s hoping he’s got a whole closet full of them. The purple tie/lavender shirt combo is trending without being obnoxious. While he didn’t win the Calder, he still looks like a Major Award.
The last time Steven Stamkos won a Rocket Richard Trophy, he wore a shiny silver suit. It was okay if you really like Ben Stiller’s character from Dodgeball, but Stammer also had to stand next to Crosby the whole time. This year, he knew just how to hog the spotlight:
I missed the part where he dipped Cheryl Burke to the floor and blushed like a bride. (Chuck did not. It was swoon-inducing.) Probably a good thing, I can only handle so much Stamkos smiling. Erin Andrews approves:
THE SKINNY TIE
Tuesday, Gabriel Landeskog joked about wearing a bow tie to the Awards. It would have been nice knowing you, melted interwebs.
Alas, Gabe chose this hipster skinny tie and while it is just a tad too short, you can’t even be disappointed with the way he looks.
Gabe the Babe
Landeskog dedicated his Calder Trophy win to his grandfather, making us all cry. So many emotions and landeskoging – good thing we’re already teenage girls on the inside. [video] Also, Charlie Conway/Pacey Whitter presented the award. Time to break out the Cruel Intentions DVD, we think.
THE NO-TIE
We know Evgeni Malkin loves the casual look, from his parade of questionable t-shirts. But Geno brought his A-game to the Awards, sporting the open-collar, “I could be in the Mafia” look to pick up all his awards – the Lindsay, Hart and Art Ross Trophies, as well as our special award for being the Most Adorable Panda.
If this doesn’t make you squee, check your emotion chip because your android brain is malfunctioning.
THE F-BOMB
Oh, come on! We all said it when we saw Henrik Lundqvist. So what if he dropped it on TV, it’s not like you were on NBC or anything. They should make him a special edition Vezina Trophy that’s just a mirror. A big one.
THE MAYBE NEXT YEAR
Apparently it takes a few days for a $45.5 million check to clear, or Erik Karlsson would have had a new suit. We’ll give him a pass because winning the Norris Trophy at 22 is kind of a big deal. However we suggest this hot-pink-and-black look be reserved for a cool pair of custom sneakers or an ironic prom. It’s too shiny. The pants were bordering on high-waters. That shirt burns our irises.
Also, the Uncle Rico mustache has to go. Call us in September before NHL Media Day, please.
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
ADDITION: ACK! I was expecting Chuck to add Bergeron and I forgot to remind her! Patrice and his Selke Award were equally flawless last night… and holy cow, his girlfriend is a fox too. *Sigh* Some people have all the luck. He is beyond classy.
Did we miss anyone? We were a little busy planning our outfits for this shitshow next year, because there is no excuse to stay home.
Missing it this year was a turrible awful mistake on our parts. It will never happen again. Maybe Karlsson should keep the pink shirt so I can point and laugh while Mike Green carries away the Norris… okay, I’m getting delusional.
Back to looking at stilettos…
Tags: adam henrique, biznasty, claude giroux, Dustin Brown, Erik Karlsson, Evgeni Malkin, Gabriel Landeskog, Henrik Lundquist, Jonathan Quick, Patrice Bergeron, steven stamkos
I’m pretty sure Erin Andrews flashed the entire audience since she forgot to put on pants with her top…. oh that was a dress? Clearly someone went a little hem happy during alterations.
But if I had legs like hers, I’d be rocking it.
Agreed. I was all about that look. You can be T or A, but not both. I approve/covet her dress.
Don’t get me wrong, she looked great but that camera angle was right up the skirt
Also I was rolling on the floor at Ovechkin being sentenced to ride on the back of Mikey’s scooter…. if only this was real life!!!!
Where’s Bergy? All that hotness and you left out Patrice?
Indeed! Although, lack of recognition is Bergy’s trademark, so.
Agreed! I normally would have put money on Henrik being the best dressed in the room but I thought Patrice looked amazing! And as a B’s fan, I was thrilled with the win 🙂
BAD PANTS! I left out Bergy, figuring Chuck would wax poetic on her love for him, and I didn’t even remind her. He’s been added, and definitely was appreciated for looking so perfect.
There were so many uncomforatble moments last night. I just love Adam and how he rocks the three-piee suit. I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed he wore this suit before *cough*post-game interviews after he ended the Rangers season *cough* 🙂 Grey and purple I love and with his dark hair, boy can he rock and work it! And I just adored how he brought his brother Mike 🙂 who is not bad looking either. Wonder what his other two brothers look like. Boy did Mama Henrique have a handful 🙂
Next year. It is happening. Again. All throughout the broadcast I randomly kept shouting “CAROL WHY ARE WE NOT THERE?!” (Carol being my friend with whom I went to the 2011 Awards with. In case you haven’t noticed, I will NEVER tire of telling people I went to the Awards. NEVER EVER.)
I could augment my Twitter avatar collection to include a Gabe Landeskog photo-op to match my Jeff Skinner awkward prom picture.
The only thing that kept us sane during the broadcase wa knowing that Toews and Crosby weren’t there.
Speak for yourself, Jess. Between Gabe, Lundqvist (F*CK is right), Giroux (unspeakable things, I tell you), Stamkos and BizNasty (you heard me), I’m losing my mind.
We should host a WUYS convention in Vegas next year. Timed appropriately with the ways. Consider it a convention excursion.
Somehow, at one point, I convinced myself that they would bring Sid out to as like a “Surprise! Look who showed up!”
I blame the magical wind that followed Gabe and his hair all night long. So pretty… Thank god for HD.
I think the best part of the Henrik moment was the fact that when they did the recap show on NHL Network, they failed to bleep it out AGAIN. Like, guy falls asleep on the swears button once on live TV, okay…but again on the recap? Comeon.
Also, all the fans and random people photobombing over Barry’s shoulder were entertaining. Super classy, as always.
I love this. I love you. I love Evgeni Malkin.
Seriously, he has ruined me for all men. No one compares…not even Saint Crosby, who I missed terribly last night, by the way.
Will Arnett was hilarious. I thought of Chuck when Bergy won and I thought of you when I saw that Stamkos got an overdue haircut.
Is it hockey season yet?
As I don’t live in a hockey civilised country, I didn’t get to see it so thanks for the post. Especially Will “Blades of Steel” Arnett. I love him. Almost as much as hockey, the Professor and Mr Blue Blue Eyes.
Just one thing – have all the players gone to work for the Men in Black? Not that I’m not rocking their tres sexy monochrome black and white look or nothing. Agents S and B indeed!
Loved all the hockey player awkwardness, but how did no one think to coach the presenters on how to pronounce Evgeni. It’s not even that difficult of a name. By far one of the easiest Russian names, and it’s even fairly phonetic. Just sound it out people! Even worse, most of the presenters are actors. People who are paid obscene amounts of money to memorize words and then recite them (correctly) on film.
All the ranting aside, and in spite of all the bad jokes and awkwardness, nothing makes me happier than hockey players in suits. So hooray for the NHL Awards!