This is Your Captain Speaking…

If I were ever on a sinking ship, I’d want to look across the deck and see Jonathan Toews in charge of the lifeboats because you know everyone is getting to safety in a single file line holding their toothbrush and enough money to call home.

"Toes the Day? I don't get it."

I do go on about Tazer, particularly the game seven-tying goal against Vancouver in the first round last year.  I can’t help it if he scores this by sheer force of will!  The Blackhawks didn’t even win, but aside from Parise’s gold medal game-tying goal, I can’t remember being so impressed in a losing effort.

The Hawks and Coyotes went to OT for the fifth straight game last night, tying the NHL record [link].  Between the stress and the lack of sleep these games are causing, I may need to be hospitalized for exhaustion.  If you fell asleep before the game-winning goal, well…

Hold on, Pants is going to post this.

This goal is not the singular heroic physical effort of last year, but it finds the back of the net because Toews has patience.  Two strides, one look, puck in the net.  Game six in Chicago on Monday night.

The moral of the story is: never, ever count Jonathan Toews out.  Sometimes he just seems to decide the Hawks won’t lose [post-game interview].  Of all the current NHL captains, he’s the one I’d want for my team – or my ship.

Side note: Stalberggeddon

Viktor Stalberg, WTF?  He took all four of the Hawks penalties last night.  Luckily the only thing worse than Stalberg’s game was the Phoenix power play, and it didn’t cost Chicago any goals.  The Hawks are short-handed up front in the absence of Marian Hossa, but I was still surprised to see Quenville putting Stalberg back out there every few shifts.  Luckily he got the sole assist on the Toews OT goal. Stalberg had 10 points in the last 12 regular-season games and the Hawks could really use that now.  Come on, Foxy Friday!

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  1. *JUMPY CLAPS*

    *HAPPY TEARS*

    *LANDESKOGING*

    Jonathan Toews… man of my dreams, captain OF MY LIFE.

    Please Blackhawks… keep it together. Captain Perfection can’t do it all by himself. I’m looking at you, The Patricks. WIN IT FOR HOSSA!

    Sidebar: If Vancouver loses tonight, I am SO SO SO wearing my Chicago jersey to work tomorrow. (Seriously, some of these Canucks zealots are DEFENDING Torres… disgusting. I bet you he will APPEAL the suspension. He better be denied. And even if he is, you think he’s going to change? Shanahan’s video alone showed EIGHT years of suspensions NOT changing him. He should be in prison. Okay, rant over.)

  2. God, I love when Toews takes control. He won that faceoff last night, fished the puck from where it was tied up across the boards and rather than passing to one of his teammates in front of the net he’s like, “Imma just show you idiots how a game is won here – ‘cuz if I give you the puck you’ll f*ck it up for sure.” BOOM. Scores.

    I’ll admit it – I’m terrified of Game 6. I’m what they call as pessimistic hockey fan – just as I was texting Jess “This doesn’t look like a Stanley Cup winning team,” Leddy scored. It was like they could hear me.

    Well, I’m praying to the hockey gods for tomorrow and beyond. The next best thing after a possible Vancouver elimination would be Phoenix, following Torres’ suspension. I know who I’m rooting for.

  3. I admit it, I totally fell asleep before the GWG last night. Okay actually, I fell asleep before the 3rd period, but it was a legit miracle I even made it through the first two periods after ten hours of day drinking. But yeah, thanks for posting the Youtube video since my attention span today is about ten seconds too short to look it up myself. I’m just going to go lay down now.

    So yeah, Captain Serious is seriously amazing. Also, Stalberg better turn that shit around before I campaign for him to look pretty from the bench. Only.