Our beloved Captain Serious turns 23 today.  Best guess is that he’s facedown next to six or eight empty DiGiorno Pizza & Breadsticks boxes and a pile of Yoo-Hoo bottles.  But we’re here to tell Tazer there’s no need to be sad.

As Foxy Friday alum and Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the Derp, Jonathan Toews is a favorite around here (well, not of Dawn’s).  He’s the straight-man to Patrick Kane’s wild card in one of our favorite bromances on record.  Sometimes he’s even fun.

Toews had THE YEAR last year.  There’s no way to top the Gold Medal, Stanley Cup, Conn Smythe and a party that lasted all summer.  This year he probably played harder and fought harder than ever before.  We were all sad when it didn’t work out.  But he showed a depth of strength that made the C on his jersey glow like a superhero’s insignia.

Have a great summer, Jon.  Maybe not as great as last summer, but one lake named after you is enough.  Relax.  Make a creepy TV commercial.  Learn the Kaner shuffle.  Do some squats.  Spend time in the sun because when winter comes back to Chicago we know you’re coming with it.

And remember, no matter what, there is always this:

Happy birthday, Tazer!