Jeff Skinner turned the NHL All-Star Weekend into a Twilight convention by charming the heck out of everyone. And since he’s 18 years old, like a college freshman, we’ve decided to hire him as our intern. For school credit. We’re no easy A either, no pass/fail. We are demanding.
Jeff will be doing useful tasks like going to the store for Mexicolas and restarting “Mystery, Alaska” in the office DVD player. He’ll make sure Chuck’s stock of Pretzel M&Ms never runs low and let us borrow his jersey (which he wears to work) if it gets cold.
We don’t hire just anybody, and we interviewed a lot of people for this job. But Jeff had the resume. As the youngest All-Star ever in any sport, we have high expectations for him. He’ll be doing guest posts, including what it’s like to chase a playoff spot and have piles of girls asking him to the prom. He’s also going to sneak a permanent mic onto Cam Ward, so we can hear the commentary.
Jeff’s first assignment will be getting Comcast to switch Center Ice to my new apartment. The operators always thought I was ordering “NFL” because they’d never heard of the NHL. We’ll see how long it takes Jeff to start asking, “Do you know who I am?!”Tags: Jeff Skinner