First, let’s all wish Mike Green well.  He didn’t play Saturday night and according to Dawn’s text: “They need Fidget, badly.”  Don’t we all? Hopefully he’ll be back for tomorrow night’s game vs. Boston, which Chuck hopes he loses.

Mike Green Paid for This – Episode 4: The Fireplace

I was tempted to call this episode “The Living Room” because there is more than one eye-popping thing going on here.  But let’s start at the top:  Mike’s fireplace is a television.  Right underneath his real television.

Double vision.

Disregard the fact that his real TV is currently acting as a frame for a piece of Renaissance artwork – you brain will short circuit like a Fembot if you try to grasp all of this.  Technically, how do you suppose the fireplace TV works?  It is also hooked up to cable, or does it serve only one purpose – to play this DVD?

Warm and cozy?

These DVDs are all over Walgreens at Christmas for $2.99.  What I can’t get past is the fireplace is completely fake – not a filled-in, formerly functional one, but it’s added onto the wall.  So they built a fake fireplace to serve only as a fake fireplace.  Remember that episode of Trading Spaces where they covered the lady’s fireplace and she started crying hysterically?  I feel her tears returning.  When the science of the fireplace TV becomes too much to consider, turn your eyes to the matching black ceramic urns with painted twigs, or perhaps the vaguely metallic drapes.

Okay, okay, sorry Mike.  We don’t like your living room.  But we would totally come over the watch a movie (or two, at the same time – or play Dark Side of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz) if you asked.  So call us.  Really.

Awwwwww.

Get well soon, Mike. We miss you!  And continue doing good deeds, like charming the pink ski coats off future fangirls while wearing really comfy-looking moccasins.