Please tell me you know this song:

That’s Brad Richards’ song.  Depending on the street – is Henrik on the street?  And he is, in fact, a part-time model.

ESPN Magazine announced this year’s “Body Issue” athletes, and Brad will get starkers for some lucky, probably unappreciative cameraperson.  Last year it was Kesler, whom Jess swears was airbrushed after she saw him at the pool in Vegas.  We don’t think Brad here’s going to need much touching up…

It’s not the first time Brad’s been featured in the mag – see What’s in Brad Richards’ Closet?  Don’t even try to tell us you keep a bottle of red next to your sunglasses collection, stud.  Everyone knows the wine goes near the hot tub. (He failed to mention that in this NHL.com video feature on wine tasting. Swag.)

You’ll recall that Brad signed a 5-year, nearly $60 million contract last July.  You may also remember that when I see BRichards, I think of BRitney.  Hence, whenever he does something right I have to yell, “It’s Britney, bitch!” [link]  Even when that something is a playoff Game Five-tying, OT-forcing goal with 7.6 seconds left against the Capitals.  That was more of a deathwail.

Video bonus – Brad & Nealmobile were roommates back in Dallas [link].  James has a very messy room.  Between the two of them now they make $18 million/year.  Why do I never live next door to the right places?!

In 2004 with Tampa Bay, Brad won the Stanley Cup, the Conn Smythe and the Lady Byng.  It was huge news in ’06 when he was traded to Dallas.  His deal with the NYR was the biggest of last season’s UFA signings.

Love the Cup, like the pants, don’t ever shave your head again. Also, chances my dad would name his boat after me & my brother? Zero.

Brad had a solid year, though as the highest-paid NHL player it will never be enough (and then there’s NYC).  In the Rangers team performance was so good that his effective, respectable numbers were appreciated.  In a struggling year, 66 points would be derided endlessly.  It’s $181,181 per point.  I need a new job.

A clutch playoff performance, though it ended in Round 2, put an extra shine on Brad’s first season with the Blueshirts.  Multiple opinions abound: either he’s worth his weight in gold [link] or only a Cup in New York will make him a good investment [link].  I’m in the first camp: Richards’ team-leading 15 playoff points were more important than piling on leads for the first-placed Rangers all year.

Who else has stats like this?

The Brad Richards Foundation is a charity organization that benefits kids with life-threatening illnesses and their families.  Brad does multiple events a year, many benefiting a hospital in his home province of Prince Edward Island.  in 2010, he donated half a  million dollars [link] in honor of his childhood best friend who died of a brain tumor at age seven.

Even I will hug a Ranger for something that amazing.

The Rangers are an impossibly Foxy team, as we’ve demonstrated by giving them about 10 of these awards.  For ESPN Magazine to choose just one… ugh, no way.  Girls can do anything guys can do, except make a like that.

It was widely reported that Brad was dating Olivia Munn for a while.  They broke up because she looked so much better than him in the Princess Leia slave bikini costume.  I like Brad even more for liking her because she’s hot, but also a nerdy genre fangirl like myself.  What if they spend weekends watching ‘Firefly’ in the right order and trying to guess the final five Cylons?! *Sigh”

Whew, okay (fans self with copy of Ender’s Game).  I hated Brad’s long-ish playoff hair, but liked his scruffy beard.  Clean-cut Brad is the best, at any time of year He’ll make another $12 million this season on his front-loaded contract.  Will he be worth it?

Keep spending it on suits & sweaters and we say: Yes, yes, a hundred times yes.

Follow Brad at @brichards_1991, perhaps develop an affinity for watches and golf.  We love a guy who uses exclamation points.

Tags: brad richards, New York Rangers