To keep looking like this:

Some of our 100+ Stamkos posts have been pretty legendary, including those times he:

… was so cute at 20 that I said, “Call me when you don’t need a fake ID.’

.. turned 21. Then 22, and then 23. (He’s 25 now.)

… shoveled snow in shorts.

… wore, and I mean wore, blue pants to play golf. The white pants were good too.

… and James Neal cried laughing at Intern Jeff Skinner‘s mortal humiliation.

… scored 50 goals. Then made it 60 goals.

… did this:

… pretended to forget his skates while Jordan Eberle pretended to be mean in a Coke Zero commerical.

… and Neal, Tavares and Jeff Carter had an imaginary argument about the scoring race.

… Tweeted a photo of his busted face.

… jumped freakishly high. Which is probably all the time.

… cut/didn’t cut his hair.

… poured water of himself in the name of charity.

… went to the wire on a contract deal. No, the other time.

Curls for the girls

It’s been 4 years, 7 months and 22 days since Steven’s first mention on WUYS. That means he’s gone 1697 days without being Foxy Friday! Criminal! Finally, we correct this error of 242.5 weeks. (And on a day that Steven and the Bolts play Pittsburgh. I waited 5 years to probably shoot myself in the foot and cost my team their whole season. Yay,)

In honor of Steven finally being named, we’re bringing you ALL NEW (to this blog, mostly, we think) Steven Stamkos content! Skinny legs and all.

getouthere @NikeTraining pic.twitter.com/5PfNtGSAaU

— Steven Stamkos (@RealStamkos91) November 6, 2015

When Steven is on the ice, he is:

When he’s not on the ice, you can find him being cute with a puppy:

I don’t need any treats, I’m good here.

And with many puppies:

My actual dream come true.

And with his own puppy:

Some people are obsessed with their dogs, okay? Gosh.

Also with children:

High school is going to be rough with these standards.

Cabbie:

or product placement:

I would pay $1000 for this shirt.

You’ll find him hanging with his related Tumblr searches:

I’ve got friends in Southern Ontario places…

Notice that “Hand” is the only thing capitalized.

And most importantly, doing activities:

I play Frisbee every day with my dog, I could coach this. Will work for everyone’s shirts.

I could go on all day (or for the past five years). Stammer’s contract is up at the end of this season, and the drama is already at peak hysteria. The Lightning have said it’s their “number one priority” – well, duh. Steven has said little other than he loves playing in Tampa. We’ve heard guys say that and take reasonable contracts to stay put, or shout is as they’re rolling toward a new team in an armored truck full of cash. My bet is on Stamkos staying with the Lightning.

If you’re not already following him on twitter (@RealStamkos91), you’re doing it wrong. The guy knows what we want! It’s almost as good as the Steven Stamkos Tumblr feed.

Happy finally Foxy Friday, Steven. Try not to score too many again the Penguins tonight, yeah? Kthanksbye.

Nealmobile!

FINALLY!  We were beginning to wonder about him….

He looks like he just woke up and hasn’t had his Paul Martin omelet yet.

Get that boy a bagel, stat.

BTW – Love that guy’s stank face on the right. It’s as if he realizes he’ll never be as good as Nail Yakupov.

This video, while not nearly exciting as Day 1 or Day 2, does have hot guys sprinting.

Obviously, they are participating in some hockey version of “The Hunger Games”, sprinting all out for the cornucopia and that backpack.

Our money is on Tyler Seguin.  He’s got that look of a Career Tribute.

For us personally, we’d like to see more working out in these videos.

More Steven Stamkos leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

More Tyler Seguin tossing medicine balls like they are nerf balls.

More shirtless massage montages.

And less of this.

His body is bangin’ for sure, but this caterpillar of a mustache just totally ruins it for us.

Especially when it makes him look like Luigi from Super Mario Brothers.

Granted, he’s always exceptional in my opinion, but last night vs. the Panthers, #37 really was the #1 star of the game.

He scored both goals during regulation for the Bruins – this wrister on a sicky no-look pass from Pouliot and this tip-in on a beauty on a pass from Tyler “Teen Wolf” Seguin.

EH OH! That's a good looking goal, eh?

And as if that wasn’t enough, he scored the crucial goal in the shootout to keep the Bruins’ chances alive, allowing David Krecji to score the SO Winner.

Most of the time, Bergeron’s play isn’t fancy or stuff that is going to make it on NHL on the Fly, but what it is, is solid, consistent and smart.

And with a nickname like “The Professor”, would you really expect anything less?

Sometimes, when you win, it ain’t so pretty.  It’s okay.  It doesn’t have to be.  A win is a win, but this one was sorta ooglay.  Bruins, for some reason, have struggled against the teams in the Southeast division this season but managed to pull out a win and 2 points thanks to the skill of their assistant captain.  [ Check out Bergy’s Post-game presser here. ]

Tonight, Bruins take on the Lightning.  Normally this match-up would have us more excited, but TB is struuuugling.  Like Buttercup and Wesley in the Fire Swamp quicksand.

They are 17-23-4 and  on a 3 game losing streak.  We want them to be better because we adore Stamkos and Squishy and Matt Gilroy (Go BU!), but things just aren’t looking good for the Bolts – despite Stamkos being 2nd in the league in points (50) and leading the league in goals (30).

Tampa Bay, we have a problem.

But at least they are purty to look at.

Yea.  Berfdai.

Stammer, Tazer, Greener, Sid, and Nealmobile have choreographed something very special for you.

You’re welcome.

First, the Pens lose and Pants was very sad, yet hopeful that Mikey and the boys can ease her pain.

Then, the Mikey and said boys get swept up like dust bunnies by Steve Stamkos, “Father Time” Dwayne Roloson, Squishy and the rest of the Tampa Bay Lightning.   Pants is inconsolable.  And Dawn is even worse.  They just lay face down on the floor, surrounded by Whatchamacallit wrappers and empty bottles of Mexican Coca-Cola.  And Dawn refuses to change out of her Ovechkin sweatpants.  It is sort of depressing.

But I totes get their pain.  I’ve felt it deep down countless times – Patriots’ loss in the Super Bowl, US losing to Ghana in the 2010 World Cup, the Bruins losing to Phi….ermmm….nevermind.

But Pants, Dawn, and all sad pandas out there, it’s time to cheer up!  Hockey ain’t over!

"Come here, Motoscooter. I loves you. Let us hug. Wow, you are short. My son, he taller than you and he only 4 years."

There is still plenty more hockey to watch and plenty of teams to cheer for.   I recommend cheering for the Sharks, the Predators (and Shea Weber’s beard), and the Bruins (natch).

Every Bruins fan in the world is in a very precarious spot right now.  We hope and pray that the Bruins can close out their sweep of the Flyers on Friday, but the hurt of last year still burns deep in our souls.  The statistically probability of that happening again this year are impossible (right?).  Remember lightning doesn’t strike twice.  At least not when Timmy the Tank is in net.

Everyone knows that goaltending wins Cups (Stanley’s, not Hogwarts’) and with the way that Thomas has been playing, as a Bruins fan it is not hard to dream about what a parade down Tremont Street would look like…

Instead of red and blue, picture it black and gold...

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

There is still one more game to play, but like the Black Eyes Peas said…

I got a feeling.