Foxy Friday: Justin Faulk

Cuddle Puddle!

So, yeah. We’re talking about hockey!

Justin Faulk is 23, American from Minnesota, plays defense and was the Canes’ sole representative at this year’s NHL All Star Game. He also appeared in last year’s ASG.

That concludes 100% of what I know about him. Back to the internet, Alex.

In November, we captioned this: “Justin Faulk is really, really sorry that his hands are so big and his hair is so tousled.” Still true.

SI.com featured Faulk in January, mentioning that he is putting together a potentially historic goal total this season. Not his 15 goals overall, but the fact that 12 of them are power play goals. If he can get to 20 PPG, he’ll be the first defenseman to ever do so in a single season. In the story, you can read how Justin’s mom credits repeated watchings of The Mighty Ducks with teaching Justin to skate.

Hey, that movie is probably to blame for our hockey careers too.

Does Spidey have horns, or…

Faulk won an NCAA championship with Univ. of Minnesota Duluth and was part of the 2014 US Olympic Team, where he took part in possibly the most inexplicable portrait shoot ever.

Zoolander 2, in theaters today.

No, actually, I’ve seen this before.

Damn, I was going for ‘thoughtful.’

Justin’s amassed quite a collection of facial scars in his young career, and isn’t afraid to selfie them for your benefit. I’ll put that photo behind this link. Instead, you can see how they’ve healed up just enough to give him that hockey player look we like so much.

It took me a minute to figure out why I like Justin Faulk, then I realized that, while bearded, he strongly resembles the guy who plays Aramis on BBC’s The Musketeers. Aramis was always my favorite Musketeer, and it is my favorite book of all time.

gif from nhl-canes.tumblr.com

Right? This is a renaissance faire waiting to happen.

BBC America posted THIS but no Series 3 date. Bloody hell.

As Justin is only 23, he’s tried a number of styles in his search of what would look best on the NHL ASG red carpet.

I’m relaxed. No wait, I’m serious. Defensemen don’t relax.

They all more or less work for him, with the exception of his audition for the role of immediately-post My So Called Life Jordan Catalano Jared Leto. Everyone tried this bleached blond thing, no one succeeded. We were all young too – we just had the sense to do it before the internet.

For the record, Rayanne was a bitch.

Justin is on Twitter @justinfaulk27, with a banner photo that a) reminds you how many friends people have at 23 and b) promises shirtless boat selfies may not be out of the question.

Okay, I’m serious. No, wait. Models aren’t serious.

So, if you don’t already like Justin Faulk for histalent, you can like him because his hair and eyebrows will always look better than yours. It’s nice to know which battles you can’t win, right? And if that’s not enough, the guy folds his clothes.

You can be the spatial reasoning in this relationship.

Let a married person tell you: Marry someone who folds his clothes.

Now let a married person read that out loud to her husband.

My eyebrows get uneven too, friend.

I just realized the Canes play the Penguins tonight. Why am I out to sabotage my team with the power of Foxy Friday every time?! Last week it was Stamkos, who had 2A in Tampa’s win over Pittsburgh. Damn it, it’s too late now. Apologies in advance.

80’s lighting, 90’s hair

With 57 points, you could look at the Canes’ season as a half-full or half-empty situation. They’re next-to-last in the Metro Division and four spots back of a wild card berth. Or they are just four points out of a playoff spot with 30 games to go. It’s a jam up in the East and should be an exciting. sickening. panic-inducing run for the end of the regular season. Please let Foxy Friday bestow no powers on this one day.

Don’t ruin the magic, please. That is all natural.

To keep looking like this:

Some of our 100+ Stamkos posts have been pretty legendary, including those times he:

… was so cute at 20 that I said, “Call me when you don’t need a fake ID.’

.. turned 21. Then 22, and then 23. (He’s 25 now.)

… shoveled snow in shorts.

… wore, and I mean wore, blue pants to play golf. The white pants were good too.

… and James Neal cried laughing at Intern Jeff Skinner‘s mortal humiliation.

… scored 50 goals. Then made it 60 goals.

… did this:

… pretended to forget his skates while Jordan Eberle pretended to be mean in a Coke Zero commerical.

… and Neal, Tavares and Jeff Carter had an imaginary argument about the scoring race.

… Tweeted a photo of his busted face.

… jumped freakishly high. Which is probably all the time.

… cut/didn’t cut his hair.

… poured water of himself in the name of charity.

… went to the wire on a contract deal. No, the other time.

Curls for the girls

It’s been 4 years, 7 months and 22 days since Steven’s first mention on WUYS. That means he’s gone 1697 days without being Foxy Friday! Criminal! Finally, we correct this error of 242.5 weeks. (And on a day that Steven and the Bolts play Pittsburgh. I waited 5 years to probably shoot myself in the foot and cost my team their whole season. Yay,)

In honor of Steven finally being named, we’re bringing you ALL NEW (to this blog, mostly, we think) Steven Stamkos content! Skinny legs and all.

getouthere @NikeTraining pic.twitter.com/5PfNtGSAaU

— Steven Stamkos (@RealStamkos91) November 6, 2015

When Steven is on the ice, he is:

When he’s not on the ice, you can find him being cute with a puppy:

I don’t need any treats, I’m good here.

And with many puppies:

My actual dream come true.

And with his own puppy:

Some people are obsessed with their dogs, okay? Gosh.

Also with children:

High school is going to be rough with these standards.

Cabbie:

or product placement:

I would pay $1000 for this shirt.

You’ll find him hanging with his related Tumblr searches:

I’ve got friends in Southern Ontario places…

Notice that “Hand” is the only thing capitalized.

And most importantly, doing activities:

I play Frisbee every day with my dog, I could coach this. Will work for everyone’s shirts.

I could go on all day (or for the past five years). Stammer’s contract is up at the end of this season, and the drama is already at peak hysteria. The Lightning have said it’s their “number one priority” – well, duh. Steven has said little other than he loves playing in Tampa. We’ve heard guys say that and take reasonable contracts to stay put, or shout is as they’re rolling toward a new team in an armored truck full of cash. My bet is on Stamkos staying with the Lightning.

If you’re not already following him on twitter (@RealStamkos91), you’re doing it wrong. The guy knows what we want! It’s almost as good as the Steven Stamkos Tumblr feed.

Happy finally Foxy Friday, Steven. Try not to score too many again the Penguins tonight, yeah? Kthanksbye.

Okay, it was yesterday. How this is 1) a holiday or 2) occurs without our say-so is a mystery, but it’s never too late to join in the, er, appreciating. Especially on a Friday.

I’ve very scientifically chosen the photos below.  Browse them – and we mean Take. Your. Time. (For example, I haven’t done any other work today.) In the comments, tell us what you love, hate, miss and wish would disappear. I’m sure I’ve left out a few transformations: suggestions are also welcome.

FOXY FRIDAY: Hairstyle Appreciation Day

Jamie Benn: Before vs. After

James Neal: Hedgehog vs. Humbled vs. Hey Ladies

Mike Green: Kombucha vs. Complicated Coffee vs. Wheatgrass vs. Small-Batch Bourbon

Tom Wilson: Boy vs Man

Carl Hagelin: Boy Band vs. Rock Star vs. Singer-Songwriter

Steven Stamkos: Too Short vs. Too Long vs. Just Right

 Claude Giroux: Elmo vs. Fozzie vs. Animal

Kris Letang: Disney Prince vs. Disney Dad

Last but not least, Barry Melrose: Always vs. Forever

The polls are open. Happy Friday, everyone!

Today’s Foxy Friday has played for not one but TWO of the teams in the NHL that fuel my hate fire. But today, I will smother that raging hate fire and look past the jersey.

Today, I will also forget that he is named after one of of the Ninja Turtles and will focus on what is really important on this most special and holy of days.

Ladies (and gentlemen?), meet Raphael Diaz.

This is a man who name invokes images of the Bernabeu, emerald green pitches, and the white noise drone of the vuvuzela, not the Saddledome, sheets of ice, and pop tunes played by a pipe organ.   This 5’11” blueliner was born in Zug, Switzerland, which sounds more like an alien race from Doctor Who than an actually place, and he joins fellow Swiss Foxy Friday Honoree Roman Josi in making us sit up and take notice of that little neutral nation.

We, as true intrepid journalists (!) need to know what other hockey foxes are hiding up there in the Alps.  Is Switzerland the new Sweden?

Like Sue-Ellen, we “right on top of that, Rose.”

Diaz is a newcomer to the NHL, but has already had quite the journey.  He was signed by the Canadiens in 2011 to an entry level contract. He was traded to the Canucks in February 2014, who then turned around before the ink was even dry and traded him to the Rangers a month later. Then in  October 2014, he went to Calgary’s camp on a try-out and ended up signing a one-year contract at the start of this season.

That’s a lot of new jerseys, new locker rooms in new cities, and through it all, he still managed to look like this.

He works out.

If Sidney Crosby and Karl Urban had a baby, Raphael Diaz would be their little bundle of joy.

Hey, girl, hey…

Diaz is foxy because his role model is obviously John Tavares. As a newbie NHLer, it is important to establish your identity early on.  Diaz is working the “Accountant-by-day-Hockey-Player-by-night” look with the best of them.

GET THIS MAN SOME KHAKIS!

I’ve been waiting for you all night…by this pineapple

Diaz is truly foxy when he has no idea what we are saying…

Only if you insist…

…And when he’s acting like a giant toddler.

He is foxy because his eyebrow game is ON POINT, even though his beard game needs a bit of work.

But you know what really gets us? Those smile lines around his eyes

Those just destroy every fiber of my being.

So in conclusion…

Yes, Raphael.  I think we just did.

You can follow Raphael on twitter at @diaz_raphael_61.

Canada: Using Democracy for Real Things!

The result probably surprised no one except Evander Kane, who retaliated with a sweatpants-based protest, subsequent injury and trade. There’s only room for one “Hottest Jet,” honey:

Foxy Friday: Ondrej Pavelec

You’d rock this vote.

(Thanks for @Kailz_H for the suggestion! Twitter won’t let me scroll back to last Thursday, which is a nice way of telling us we talk too much.)

Now, if I said “Ondrej Pavelec,” most people would say “Bless you.” Some hockey fans might say, “That goalie who fainted?” That is true – Pavelec fainted in-game against Washington back in 2010, while playing for the Thrashers. He suffered a concussion upon hitting the ice, but it was diagnosed as a fainting spell, and not career-threatening. The story goes he woke up in the hospital and asked about the score (Atlanta won).

If you think he looks a bit like #TeamEbs, I say you’re right. He bears a more-than-passing though less-than-gapped resemblance to another blue-eye Western Conference Foxy Friday selection.

Though I doubt Ebs could pull off this Eurohipster disguise:

What’s that about a beard? Oh, you said, “YES?”

Or were you referring to this hat?

Ondrek is Czech, from the same region (Kladno District) as Michael Frolik, Jaromir Jagr, Tomas Plekanec, Jiri Sekac, Jiri Tlusty, and Jakub Voracek.  Not bad for an area roughly 275 square miles.  They are all best friends and they love each other and do sports.

Note the plaid shorts, a worldwide phenomenon.  While jeans like this are only available in Europe and Russia through The Ovechkin Collection:

This is about our limit for distressing on “These old thing?” brand new designer jeans.

Pavelec has played 324 NHL games over 7+ seasons. His current  2.60 GAA is a career best, though his top yeAdd Mediaar was ’11-’12, in which he won 29 games. The Jets are currently 4th in the tough Central Division with 73 points, and would be Wild Card spot #1 if the playoffs began today. (Warning: Stats from Thursday, because Friday has a ‘no math’ policy.)

Ondrej is in the third year of a five-year/$19.5 mill contract that leaves him UFA in 2017.

My favorite thing about the Winnipeg Jets website is that you can misspell Pavelec as Pavalec and still get 40 photo results. It’s nice to know mine are not the only fat fingers in the business.

The Jets have a program called Reading Takes Flight where players visit schools and read them a children’s book about the Jets. Here’s the full photo gallery, feel free to stop when you get teary-eyed.

Ondrej has been on a lot of Czech talk shows, which you can find on youTube. You won’t know what they’re saying, but hey, Foxy Friday isn’t really about that.  Here’s an interview from before this season began, featuring English and our beloved beard-plus-hoodie combination:

Since he knows we love part time models, Ondrej starred in possibly the oddest (and longest) hockey player TV ad I’ve ever seen. The sign says “Hi, my name is Ondrej Pavelec,” but that is false. You might be Pavelec’s belt buckle, though I am pretty sure you are not Ondrej at all. If you had his face, you’d use it.

Ondrej does not have a Twitter, so you’ll have to go to a game and ask him out with a sign like the old days. In the meantime, you can follow his goalie pads (they lead a full life) at @pavelecspads.

Happy Friday!

While I suffer through this historic Boston winter, I got a little something to warm me (and you) up.

(full disclosure: I am writing this post after a copious amount of sake. I am not responsible for my actions. #BuzzedBloggin)

Foxy Friday: Tristan Harper

Remember that movie Weird Science?  Well if Pants and I starred in the Hollywood remake, this might be the perfect boy we’d create.

HE HAS A GINGERBEARD FOR PETE’S SAKE!!!!

Tristan Harper is a hockey player for the Braehead Clan in Glasgow, Scotland of the EIHL. I didn’t even know they played hockey in Scotland.

But I do now.

I’ve been to Scotland.  Had I know they had men like this that also played hockey – I never would have come back.  I would have sold everything I own, purchased a Scottish hockey club (and a sheepdog), and live happily ever after.

My morning meetings would consist of tea and jammie dodgers and player development meetings would be beard grooming lessons and highland games.

Wonder of what’s under that kilt…

He’s a NHL-worth 6’2″, with a beard that proves that a well-groomed can increase a man’s hotness power ranking exponentially.

His beard – it’s impeccable.  Never did I imagine that a beard would exists that could compete with the best but it seems that Zetterbeard may have some serious competition for my pogonophilic admiration.

Wanna stroke it like a cat.

Oh and his name is Tristan.  You remember the first time that you fell in love with a Tristan?

I do.

Howdy. (from bellecs.tumblr.com)

While my new love isn’t exactly tearing it up in the points department (6 pts in 45 games), he does have 62 PIM and his team is in 1st play in the league, so he’s got that going for him.

Also going for him – this.

And this…

#NerdLikeUs

Oh and let’s not forget this…

Scottish boyfriend sweaters are just as hot as the Canadian ones.

You can follow Tristan at @harpoon26 and check him out on Instagram.

I will warn you though – his IG feed does cause side effects – heart palpitations, swooning and/or fainting, dizziness, lightheadedness, the “feels”, the “schwings”, ovarian aches, or Lady Gaga YAAAASSSSSing.  Verklepmtion lasting longer than four hours required immediate medical attention.

And if you didn’t think beards make any guy hotter, check this.

Boom. Instahottie.

(Thanks to the multiple people who brought this man to my attention.  You know my type and you are true gems of humanity.)

We here at WUYS hold a few truths to be self-evident:

1) Cabbie for President – of a made-up country we start because he can’t actually be our President, as a Canadian. This is in the fine print somewhere.

2) The Dallas Stars want to be your favorite team.

3) Tyler Seguin is an excellent liar. We assume he only uses this when necessary, but that boy could sell you a bridge.

4) Jamie Benn, not so much.

5) And finally, moms are the best. Every one, every time.

Feel free to cut the end off this video, play it for your own parents and announce, “Meet my fiance!”

But you haven’t actually met him, so…

Thank you to @charlieryan58 for sending this!

Enjoy a throwback Valentine: Cabbie and the Oilers PUPPIES with Actual Puppies

Foxy Friday: Tom Wilson

Tom Wilson has been on the list for future Friday-ing since, well, since he was way too young to be on that list.  Aren’t they always? He had also been in the Capitals lineup consistently, spending time on the Ovi/Backstrom line, and some more time in the box for boxing.

Since December 23, Tom has been fighting that elusive illness we call “healthy scratch.” It bit him again Wednesday night in San Jose. Now, we’re not doctors, but we watch them on TV. And the only prescription for this is more Foxy Friday.

First, the good news: Tom Wilson is 20.

Wait, that’s not good news. He was born in 1994, the same year as my first car. It’s times like this that I enjoy my inability to properly process math.

He’s from Toronto, and is pretty much the future pool-boy-next-door of college-aged Chuck’s dreams: 6’4″, longish hair, looks like he could rock a mean flannel, chop down trees, rescue you in the forest – general woodsman duties. Not sure about the beard though, not on this babyface.

EPIX’s “Road to the Winter Classic” show gave us a look inside the bachelor pad Tom shares with Caps teammate Michael Latta.  These two are besties in the best ways. Vacation:

Guest star Foxy Friday: Liam O’Brien. Here’s another.

Slumber parties:

Gracias, instagram.com/latta17.

Twitter discussions of the English language:

A wacky Twitter Q&A in which they agree with everything I have ever said:

Driving with expired inspection stickers and bulk buying ketchup. (In an unrelated story, @lm1485 and I once convinced our boss that ketchup was the Official Condiment of the Washington Capitals. WE WERE RIGHT!)

This & many more from www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com

[More video: Tom’s game commentary, ride along with Latta & Schmidt]

I’ve met Tom twice, and he is the strapping, handsome, friendly guy with the reach to knock out an opponent that you imagine. You would have spent high school writing “Mr. And Mrs. Chuck-Wilson” on your binder, while your dad sat on the porch with a goalie stick (it’s Canada) to make sure no one snuck out (or climbed in. See: woodsman duties.).

How did we live before internet?

Did I mention Tom is Mr. February on the Capitals Canine Calendar? He gazes across DC offices from his softly-lit clearing in the woods (!), hair all glossy and holding not one, but two puppies! Only he isn’t holding them because why, why would they run away when Valentine’s Day is just arriving? This should be a Lifetime movie, where a nerdy girl who volunteers at an animal shelter meets the hunk of her dreams at a charity calendar photo shoot. Consider this my copyright.

Pupface says it all.

That puppy on the right is hitting the high note in “I Will Always Love You.”

Tom has played on the Caps top line. He fights too, rather often – I’ve seen more Tom Wilson fights in person than any other player. Maybe he’s trying to impress me., though I was more impressed by this one time he didn’t fight. (Against a Flyer, no less. What is happening to me?) And by this time he got KO’d by a Make a Wish kid. He’s been called the team’s “heart and soul” and the Caps have said they don’t want to “dull his edge” – but they also don’t want him turning the puck over, especially not during valuable Oveckhin ice time.

Not-So-Average Joes

Lately, Tom has also been instrumental in the Captials’ support of young fan Bensten Schone, who was hurt in a sledding accident. You can help too – send him some love using #prayforBman. See the Caps video for Bensten, and watch (we mean cry) as Bensten watches it for the first time.

Also, watch Caps announcer Wes Johnson’s awesome video.

The Caps are out west for the weekend (vs. LA and ANA) then in Pittsburgh Tuesday night, where I will not be rooting for Tom or any combination of the Washington lineup. Until then, may this Friday help a fox get his groove back.

What, you want more puppies?

Pocketful of puppy.

Like the puppy you missed in the bottom there?

MY TURN?? MY TURN!!

Because I can go all day.

Puppyselfie. That does it.

Follow Tom on Twitter (@tom_wilso) and Instagram, and hopefully on TV during a Caps game soon.  Until then, enjoy this time the boys all went to see The Interview:

And where, while ‘working’ my real job, I didn’t get out of the shot fast enough.

Busted. (You bet I volunteered to work that event.)

Foxy Friday: Aaron Ekblad

BeardWatch: Rookie of the Year

It’s not easy to surprise us with foxiness around the NHL – so vigilant is our endless search – and if you get past us, surely our eagle-eyed readers Tweet of a worthy candidate we somehow missed.

Not this time.

The new guy

Aaron Ekblad walked on stage the ASG Draft and threw our work right out the window.

21st Century fact-finding mission

It’s a lucky thing Aaron was selected for the All-Star Game, or we may have never seen him. I mean never, because that’s how likely I am to watch a Panthers game. Well, never is a long time for him, so maybe someday. But we probably would have missed this hair:

Never a selfie-stick around when you need one.

(Object not, Panthers-fan friends, for my lack of attention to your team probably means they will beat my team in the playoffs. You’re welcome. Love, Karma)

In addition to the perfect boyband bangswave, Aaron is 6’4″, 216 lbs… and was born in 1996. Just a reminder! He was drafted first overall in 2014. Usually, draft photos are what we pull up eight years later to laugh about. Where is whoever writes this blog in 2023 going to get her comedy material?

Stop. Let me get a good look at it.

Aaron had 4 assists for the victorious Team Toews in the All-Star Game.  Not surprising, as he’s got 21A on the season and a total of 28 points. Who else has 28 points this season? James Neal.

Not bad, Aaron.

The Cutting Edge pre-dates Aaron by four years.

In case you momentarily forgot Aaron is 18, one of his favorite movies is “That Awkward Moment” – which is an awkward moment when someone’s favorite movie stars Zac Efron. Not knocking Zac, just admiring the bottomless chasm of age difference. [ More favorites here and here/video.] You know that Saved By the Bell Jimmy Fallon thing everyone is talking about? I bet Aaron’s never heard of Zack Morris.

No running in boat shoes.

The @FLAPanthers (which always reads “Flap Antlers” to me) are, by all accounts, in much better shape this year than last.

Florida Department of Tourism Meeting

I mean on the ice, you guys. They are currently 9th in the East with 56 points – ahead of the Flyers (52), trailing the Bruins (61). Still plenty of time left for everything to go right or wrong.

First year playoff hopes

Ekblad, along with his ASG mates Filip Forsberg (who the Caps traded away for nothing) and Johnny Gaudreau (who I will never, ever call “Johnny Hockey”), are frontrunners for the Calder Trophy as rookie of the year. [Intern Jeff Skinner just harrumphed and walked out.] With half this season left to go, it’s safe to say that Aaron is our pick. After all, he didn’t go to Boston College.

Follow Aaron on Twitter (@Ekblad5FLA), Instagram (aaronekblad5) and his website that is really a Tumblr in thing disguise: aaronekblad.ca.

Look at that part.

The title of Foxy Friday has occasionally been awarded to a collection of things (plaid suits, glasses) to great as to define the genre.  Today’s honorees take it to a whole new level.

San Jose Sharks “Holiday Sweater”

The Sharks have an amazing history of holiday videos, but they can stop now. There’s no topping this throwback karaoke masterpiece, complete with semi-choreographed white guy dancing and someone holding a block of cheese.

It goes on forever. Literally.  Make sure you stay for the scene after the credits, then check out this much-needed infographic.

How BU does it.

Capitals Holiday Video [that’s a link]

This dork-fest is gloriously unscripted and runs the ultimate test of improv comedy – who will laugh first, us or them?

Almost enough right to fix all this wrong.

A wink of the eye to how intentionally awful the whole thing is – the Caps tried to enter the NHL ugly sweater contest. What’s the prize? Is it Caps tickets?

Ecard versions – send ’em to your mom.

Penguins Holiday Video [also a link]

If I were going to re-enact a Christmas movie, it wouldn’t be Christmas Vacation (duh, Love Actually), and if I were going to have the Penguins remake a movie, it wouldn’t a Christmas movie (Newsies, anyone? Oh yes.).  But as commitment to awkwardness goes, this Penguins’ holiday video is a Best Picture nominee.

Beau should’ve worn the hat.

My movie would of course feature Beau and Borts in matching costumes.  I might even cover Crosby up to dampen his attractiveness – and fail, badly.

Is this a cowlneck shirt? Could this be worse?

There’s nothing in this, however, as good as the “Sieze the Day” sing-along going on in my mind.

Chicago Blackhawks All-Star Campaign Videos

Just as you’re having the happiest of holiday video viewing sessions, the Blackhawks show up to ruin it by, well… being the Blackhawks.  We should be used to it by now.  They’re not even promoting Christmas because nothing under your tree could be this good.

Ice Bucket challenge Spanx = no tanlines!

What the hell is happening here and how do I make it rule the Earth? Is that what we’re voting for? I’m pretty sure Chuck and I came up with this idea while a) drunk and b) watching that Crystal Light aerobics championship video set to Taylor Swift for the 900th time.  The Blackhawks must be reading our GChats.

You guys saw that, right? I didn’t hallucinate?

Toews is the original Canadian dream, which sounds like the tagline for an ice cream treat made with maple syrup, and it’s finally proven, scientifically, that he is fun now.  We have created a monster.

Players gonna…

It would appear there will be (already are?) videos promoting Bickell, Sharp, Keith, Kane and jazzercize.  The wait might actually kill me.

I’m getting this on a shirt.

And this on the back.

Good luck, next Friday, on coming anywhere close to this.

People are so demanding.

“What are the two house rules? Number One: No dating till you graduate. Number Two: No dating till you graduate.”

Foxy Friday: Alexander Wennberg

In defense of these texts, Alex is just about the only Swedish NHL player we haven’t featured.  Also, we have been in the market for a new intern.  Alex is 20 (skip that part), plays in the Blue Jackets organization and, well…

“Well, now that you’ve seen “the plan”, I’m gonna go and show “the plan” to someone else.”

We don’t typically feature AHL players, but Alex was sent down to Springfield just last weekend and I don’t have a backup plan for this week’s post. Also he scored his first AHL point last night, so we’re breaking the rules this time.  And laws.

“You are amazingly self-assured, has anyone ever told you that?”

Did I mention Alex is 20? You have the right to remain silent. I’ll be sending this post to my 17-year old niece, who loves boybands and styled hair (she’s a smart girl).  It should send her shrieking to a Springfield Falcons game.  She’s not allowed to accept a ride home though.

“You’re not going out and getting jiggy with some guy, I don’t care how dope his ride is.”

I don’t care how v-neck some guy’s Euroshirt is.

“Can we, for two seconds, ignore the fact that you’re severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy?”

And none of this looking all innocent-yet-filth-rich, okay?

“Damn, I was going for thoughtful.”

But I will allow Alex to rescind his selection of Justin Beiber over One Direction, because this was 2013 and I presume he’s come to his senses by now.

Old Britney all the way, though.

Follow Alex on Twitter @wenniss, or Google Image search him and enjoy the related result suggestions: Beau Bennett, Gabe Landeskog, Eric Gudbranson.  Happy Friday, our work here is done.

“I happen to like being adored, thank you!”

Full video of the above interview is here.

Caption quotes from 10 Things I Hate About You, since I was thinking about high school. This movie is required viewing for our friendship, so if you haven’t seen it, I will give you my Netflix password.

Foxy Friday: Liam O’Brien

Does this beard make my jawline look laser-cut?

Type “Liam O’Brien Capitals” into a Google search and one click gives you enough photos to fill a whole post.  (Er, don’t do that, because it’s exactly what I used here.)   It’s as if someone culled the best parts of former foxes and combined them to our exact specifications.  If you made me a Build-a-Bear for Christmas, this would be it.

• Tall? 6’1.
• Too young? Oh yeah. (He is 20 years old. I have sweaters older than this.)
• Obvious boyband potential? Is there ever.
• Beard? Check.
• GINGERBEARD? All the checks.
• He freaking wears #87 and is from Nova Scotia, people.

For the Maritimers

But the best thing about Liam isn’t on that list.  It’s in the feel-good, cry-at-the-end, Twizzler-straw-in-your-Coke, Disney sports movie plot that is his life right now.

Dressed to impress

Liam O’Brien was not drafted in June.  Not by any team, in any round. They all passed. While obviously they don’t have the same criteria as we do when selecting fantasy teams, I find this hard to believe.  But it does happen (Chris Kunitz, anyone?) and only once in a great while does it turn into something you read about months later in hockey press across North America.

Section 12, Part B says he must keep the beard.

When Liam got invited to Caps’ camps this fall, he came to play.  The new coach and management were so impressed that a month later, they signed O’Brien to a three-year rookie contract.  Not bad to hit $550,000/season with a stroke of the pen.  On October 9, the kid from Halifax made his NHL debut in Montreal, in front of as many family and friends as could make it.  The press?  They were all over it.  Did he do interviews in French?  Of course he did, because this post writes itself.

All I can think is “Je Suis une Pizza” from middle school French class

Three games later, Liam punctuated a scrum in San Jose by saying this to 6 foot, 8 inch John Scott:

Source: Japer’s Rink

French is great but Liam is fluent in our favorite language: sass.

On October 26 vs. Vancouver, Liam scored.  I fumbled the dish I was washing and ran back into the living room.  Joe B. and Locker confirmed what I thought I’d heard: Inside of a month, Liam O’Brien had 1) signed a contact, 2) made the NHL, 3) scored his first goal. If you’re not rooting for this guy, you’re doing it wrong.

Awkward puck hold, never thought to practice this.

Last week I got to meet Liam at a work event, and can attend he is this great in real life.  You can see (hopefully) a lot more of him throughout EPIX Presents Road To The NHL Winter Classic™, the series beginning December 16 that will follow the Caps and Hawks to the Winter Classic.  The best part?  You don’t need HBO to watch it!  You can stream it live from either team’s website, plus Epix.com, NHL.com, their Facebook pages or mobile apps.  That is Liam’s gingerbeard at home, at work, on the bus, at the gym… see, I told you think was custom-made for us.

Watch early, watch often

Follow Liam at @ob61, donate to Movember here.  And have a Happy Friday!

Gingerstache? Is that a thing?

#AllGrownsUp

Besides the obvious (#Sweden), I honestly had no idea who Elias Lindholm was.

But I do now.

Bless you, Ellie, for enlightening me.

Everyone meet Elias Viktor Zebulon Lindholm.

You can ring my bell.

Yes, that it is actually his name, and yes, it is all kinds of awesome.  Sort of makes him sound like a member of the Swedish Royal Family or something.  Name me one girl on this planet that wouldn’t want a prince like this of her very own.

Elias is foxy because he understands the value of learning from the Master.

A Jedi and his young Padawan

Elias is also foxy because he kinda has a young Mike Modano thing happening.  Or maybe it is a Mitchell Goosen thing.

Either way, we dig….hardcore.

“You hockey warrior! Hockey Nintendo!”

Elias is foxy because of this hair.  It’s fantastic.  But would you really expect anything less from a man from the land of perfect hockey players.

He woke up like this.

Seriously.  The flow – spectacular spectaular. WUYS Approved!

You lace the track. I’ll rock the flow.

Now, are we SURE he is only 19?   Because this is not the face, nor the beard of a 19-year-old.

#BeardWatch2015

But probably Elias’ best and most endearing attribute – his bromance with Intern Jeff Skinner.

Hey, bro. Let me copy your answers.

Rutti Tutti, Fresh and Fruity

Grumpy Cat & Travel Gnome

We love Intern Jeff Skinner.  If Intern Jeff Skinner thinks that Elias is good people, well then, that is good enough for us.

—-

Note: There is a distinct possibility that I will be meeting some of the Carolina players after their game with Boston on Saturday, so I’ll let you know if he’s cuter in person.   Stay tuned to WUYS twitter feed for updates!

Foxy Friday: Robert Bortuzzo

Photo by our favorite, Carmen Mandato!

You may recall that when Lindsay, Alison, Emma and I went to Pittsburgh in March, Borts was the mayor.  We saw him at dinner the first night.  Two days and two games later, not only did Borts show up at dinner again, he brought Crosby with him.  And made sure we saw Brandon Sutter.  And almost made Alison drop her drink.  Okay, that was me.  If he’d shaken our hands and asked for a campaign donation, I would have given him my whole purse.  We learned that Pittsburgh is a wonderful place and there are Penguins in every restaurant.  

Vote Bortuzzo.

Is this heaven? No, it’s Thunder Bay.

Tall, dark and handsomely bearded, Robert Bortuzzo has quite the foxy competition on a team full of dorks in boyfriend shirts.  Yet I’d say he has cornered both markets.

That pullover counts every time.

Borts – who I really want to call “Rob” but it’ll never stick – and Beau Bennett spend all their free time visiting patients in hospitals. There are so many pictures they really must go every day.  What a pair.

Another of the many stories here.

Other areas where Robert Bortuzzo excels include charming children and babies [video]:

Best babysitter ever

Holiday cross-dressing:

Thigh-highs on 6’4″ Borts would be overalls on me.

Shirtless interviews (to highlight beard evolution, of course):

Videos from 10/20, 10/31 and 11/3 (is broken)

Prom:

Just have him home by curfew.

Wearing a Red Sox hat:

We’re WUYS and we support this message.

Did I mention the hair/beard combo?

Curls for the girls

And the Red Sox hat?  He also loves waffles and The Sandlot.

 I mean, come on.

Despite all those talents, Rob is really best – and we mean best – at reaction faces. There’s no feeling you can’t express in a Bortuzzo internet jpeg.  Try it.

When your boss is explaining something completely wrong:

I am surrounded by idiots.

When this isn’t where you parked your car:

But I went in through Nordstrom…

When that just really happened holycrapyouguys!

I hope someone Snapchatted that.

When you get the last deluxe copy of the new Taylor Swift at Target:

No bonus tracks for you suckers!

When you think you’re not the prettiest person in the room (but you really are):

Keeping up with the Kardashians

When Hockey Twitter is talking shit:

I thought I unfollowed Rossi!

When the 2014-15 schedule says you don’t come to DC until late January:

My expression right now.

Borts is recently back from injury and we’ve been holding on this Foxy Friday for his return. He had a fight last night vs. Blake Wheeler, involving a lot of very long arms and a possible misunderstanding of velocity physics:

In his 77 NHL-game career, Bortuzzo has 2 goals, 13 assists and 108 penalty minutes. That’s one goal for every time we saw him in Pittsburgh.  Want more offense from your defense, Penguins?  The solution is obvious and we’ll work for tickets.

Waiting to see his name on the scoreboard.

If we may make a suggestion based on past levels of costume commitment, Rob looks a little like Sacha Baron Cohen (especially here).  It’s never too early to plan next Halloween.

We apologize in advance if this happens.

Our reaction shot is ready to go:

:: speechless ::

Follow Borts on Twitter @rbontuzzo21. Happy Friday!

FOXY FRIDAY!

Today, we’re featuring a guy with one of the coolest names in hockey – Nino Niederreiter.

Say that five times fast.

But who exactly IS Nino Niederreiter?

Nino is part of the youth movement in Minnesota, part of a core group of players which are poised to be an integral part of the Wild’s climb in the very difficult Central Division.

He was born in 1992 in Switzerland, land of Ricola and neutrality. One might not think of Switzerland as a hockey powerhouse, but over the last few years, there has been an emergence of Swiss talent joining the NHL ranks.

Roman Josi. Damien Brunner. Yannick Weber.  All Swiss. All love chocolate.

Mister…Randy…Watson!

Niederreiter, AKA El Nino, was drafted 5th overall by the Islanders in the 2010 Entry Draft, making him the highest drafted Swiss player in NHL History. At the 2013 Entry Draft, he was traded to the Wild in exchange for Cal Clutterbuck and a 3rd round pick.  He’s 6’2″, 210 lbs, shoots left and this season, he has 2 G and 2A in 9 games.

Also, his eyebrows are working for us.

My eyebrows are up here, ladies.

In last year’s playoff game 7 verses the Avalanche, Nino had two goals and an assist including the OT game-winner to advance his team to the second round, earning his forever place in the hearts of Wild fans everywhere.

Snipe.

Some other important things you should know about the newest member of the Foxy Friday Fraternity –

He loves slides.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And Pictionary.

Boo.

His favorite mode of transportation are of the two-wheeled variety.

They see me rollin’…they hatin’

Beep! Beep! Who got the keys to the Jeep?

In his spare time, he enjoys knitting/wearing amazing boyfriend cardigans.

Knit 2, Purl 1

“If you want to destroy my sweateerrrrrrrrrrrr”

Perfecting his model look into middle distance. (it’s alot harder than it looks, people.)

Le Tigre

Channeling Sidney Crosby and his #AwkwardPockets.

#awkwardpockets

After his hockey career ends, we think he’d have a great future as a lumberjack.

“How much wood…

…could a woodchuck chuck…

…if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

And in honor of Halloween, we give you this gem.

Iceman, Maverick, and Goose

Top Gun Boys.  Get us every time.

Check out Nino on the twitter at @thelnino22.

Even Puck Daddy has a piece about Neal & Clune today – “James Neal in Nashville: Happy, dumb and dumber.”  In a good way, of course.  Remember “Dumb and Dumber” once referred to Neal and Malkin, but this is a different level.

And this gem of an outtake from yesterday’s post: Beneath the Ice.

Clune was drafted in the third round in 2005 (71st overall), but didn’t make his NHL debut until 2009-’10, when he played just 14 games for the Kings.  He wouldn’t see NHL ice again until 2012, after he was waived by the Kings post-lockout and picked up by the Predators.

During that time, and for a long time leading up to it, Clune battled alcoholism.  He spoke about it with ESPN in March 2013.  Reading the story, Rich sounds like a much older guy telling the story of a troubled youth.  Perhaps that life-change is why he’s still in the League today.

It could also be why he’s so open.  His secrets are out, he’s a 4th line guy, what are people going to say about him?  He wants, both desperately and to the point of comedy, to stay and play.  In July, Rich published a 30-minute online radio program about his recovery.  He called it the “debut show,” but so far it’s the only one.  Over the summer, Clune spoke to Puck Daddy about being a reluctant role model.

For a guy with such a serious side, Clune certainly rebounds with energy.  When James Neal was traded to Nashville, he moved in with Clune – they were drafted the same year, by the same team.  The budding bromance puts a lot of pressure on the Preds web content folks to deliver! (Cliff notes: Dude Perfect.)

Rich uses social media the way it should be used: often, if you’re funny.  Contract negotiations?  He has a few ideas.

Soccer?  No thanks.

Don’t let the arms distract you from this outfit, a color and pattern combination worthy of Mr. Pants and thus my heart.

Rich plays the guitar (shirtless, of course), hosts taco night because he probably read online Neal can’t feed himself and did the ice bucket challenge in possibly the #2 outfit of all time (behind Toews’ Spanx).  He has a lot of tattoos, since some of you are into that, and almost as many pictures of his feet in Summer Skates flip-flops.

Clune’s NHL career includes 120 games, 11 points and 305 PIMs.  He has 32 regular season fights in just three regular seasons.

We love a good redemption story, and Rich Clune has survived with style and humor. He’s proven he can take care of himself – we appreciate him looking out for Nealer too. As for the Predators, atop their division and with a host of Foxy Fridays on their roster, well they are taking care of business.

Follow Rich on the webs: @richcluneshow, instagram.com/richcluneshow 

(PS: Sorry I still can’t center photos!)

He’s the cool dad.

My dad also started commenting on everyone’s beards.  Maybe he wants to blog for us. Or maybe the power of the playoff beard is just so great that no one can resist.  I should know better than to look right at it for 2.5 hours.  Now, from a level of crazy I can’t excuse:

Foxy Friday: Derick Brassard

Part-time model

(Somewhere Chuck just fell out of her chair.)

I have a hot date with a Dierks Bentley concert tonight, so I won’t be watching the game, but let’s pretend for a minute Derick is not a Ranger.  Or still in the playoffs.  Heaven help me if this Foxy Friday propels them to a  comeback, I will never forgive myself.  Yet we must call a spade a spade – or in this case, a fox a fox.  Right?

Perfect board definition

His beard is scrambling my brain.  As we said on Puck Daddy, it makes him look even more like Keanu Reeves, only less hipster-homeless-as-art and more… cuddly.

John Moore, maroon with navy is a big gamble.

Derick came over to Rangers with John Moore and Derek Dorsett in the trade for Marian Gaborik.  That is not working out for the NYR at the moment, unless you figure they got three playoff beards for the price of one.  Derick & Co. joined Rick Nash and should start a band called Th CBJ Relocation Program.

Derick talking to his agent about a solo career.

Brass is 26, which surprised me, and from Quebec, which surprises no one.  He had a career-high 18 goals this season.  In 22 playoff games, he has 6 G/6A.

Only 61 people have liked Derick via NHL.com on Facebook – get on that, y’all.  I checked Henrik and he’s got 9,100.  (Crosby = 16,000, justsaying.)

In addition to making the Stanley Cup Final, from which the Rangers will not be swept, Derick is good at other things.  We already talked about his bike riding:

Am I tan yet?

He can also play baseball:

You should see my baseball pants.

Carry your groceries:

In winter, I shovel snow.

Be skeptical about Capitals hockey:

Really? These guys?

Admit his haircut could be better:

High School Musical

Look good without trying:

Fashion sneakers vs. function sneakers

And look good with trying:

Got enough room there, Ry?

While I’m admitting some Rangers are attractive, I might as well give you guys my diary, PIN numbers and confess we missed a bromance.  A great one.  Now it’s gone forever but we’ll always have Mats Zuccarrello’s Instagram.

Scenic route

V-necks for North Americans, Norwegians prefer crew.

Indoors is just an excuse for arms.

Ah ah, you faltered there for a second, didn’t you?  Distracted by MDZ’s curls? Perhaps I need to remind you that Derick speaks French.

Video: RDS – Derick Brassard dans l’Antichambre

Whew.  My high school French is crap but that’s 11:31 of heaven.

It’s the accent.

NO.  As in no, he’s not single, but also NO RANGERS.  These are the rules!

Okay, one more exception – in English this time:

In their first game as Rangers, Brassard and Moore arrived 15 minutes before warm-ups… then Derick had a goal and 3 assists in their 6-1 win over Pittsburgh.  Of course it was Pittsburgh, placed 90% of the way through this post to remind me I hate myself.

Yeah, we get it.

(Un-)Fun fact: Brassard’s ’08 season ended after a fight with fellow rookie James Neal.  Derick took six straight punches, dislocated his shoulder and required surgery.  He’d been tops in rookie scoring at that early date (Dec. 18).  Bet Brass remembered this when they knocked out the Pens this season:

There you have it:  Foxy Friday: New York Rangers are Still in the Playoffs Edition.  Will it all end tonight?  Can Jonathan Quick do this again?

If any teams knows comebacks are possible…

Only if I haven’t jinxed everything.

Can you blame her?

Foxy Friday: Matt Niskanen

Oh yeah, I went right for the puppy picture.

Most of you met Nisky that time he fought Sidney Crosby.

My screams still echo somewhere in the depths of outer space.

Four months later, Matt and someone else you know (sing it: Gingerbeeeeeeard!) got traded to the Penguins.  Niskanen and Sid joke about the fight.

Where is that video, hey?  This may be the one time Sam Kasan let us down.

Did I mention Matt is from Minnesota?  If not, you heard it in that interview.

2013-2014 has been the Year of Niskanen in Pittsburgh.  He had 46 regular season points, including 10G.  He leads the Penguins and all NHL defensemen with a +33.  He had 6 GWG – tied with OEL for best among League d-men and second-most on the Penguins.  That’s right, Matt Niskanen had more GWGs than Sidney Crosby.

What else?  Oh, he plays defense.  Actual, consistent defense on a team whose blueline rode the strugglebus all season.  There were monumental lapses in ability among the Penguins top 4 D, added to serious injuries like Letang’s stroke, Paul Martin’s broken hand and Orpik’s concussion.  Niskanen played 81 games.  There was a stretch in December when Nisky was the only Pens’ defenseman old enough to drive (slight exaggeration).  He held it down, guided Olli Maatta in a ROTY consideration-worthy year and kept me, personally, from losing my damned mind.  And these guys too: Hockey Writers, Rant Sports, everyone.

Thanks, Matt.

In the last year of a 2-year deal, making just $2.3 million, Nisky looked like trade bait at the beginning of the season.  Now he looks like:

That’s his reserved Minnesota version of GETPAAAAAAAAAAAID.

The Penguins haven’t talked contract yet.  Read this Puck Daddy piece on factors important in a potential deal for Matty.  We can only hope Swami Shero makes this a long-term relationship because:

He’s also said: “I’ve fallen in love with this organization….” [video]

WE LOVE YOU TOO, MATT!  And not just “we” as in me and Lindsay, because we fall in love with everybody, but other people whose standards are much higher.  Like Alison.  She does not suffer fools on her blueline.

What else is great about Matt?  This time he fought Brad Marchand.  His middle name is NORMAN.  He says “darn” and “heckuva.”  The way he slicks his hair back but cannot ever defeat this center-part cowlick:

This terrible, terrible tie/shirt combo:

What do you expect from a guy with an unabashed love of sweatpants?

In his free time, Matt enjoys wearing light-colored jeans.

Having his car “pimped” before selling it for charity:

Learning his lesson the hard way about losing that shootout.

And holding a turtle.

Okay, it’s not a turtle – it’s a rock.  But when I first saw this picture [link] I was convinced Matt was rescuing a turtle in this forest, probably from some slow-moving distress, because that’s just the kind of nice guy he is.  He’s turtle-esque.  I laugh about this daily and it inspired one of my favorite WUYS memes of the year: Matt Niskanen Goal Turtle Celebrations.

And for those of you who see why this is hilarious, I thank you.

There is so much more, I could go on for days (or at least until the Pens game starts tomorrow night).  For now enjoy the adorable American-ness that is Matt Niskanen and his puppy:

Because Saturday night it’s back to work.

*Please pardon the fact we cannot center any images today.  It’s being address by someone who knows what HTML stands for.  All we can do is lean left a bit and everything seems fine.

As I was combing through the Foxy Friday archives, I came to realize that out of the all the teams not making it to the Playoffs,the Calgary Flames are the only ones who do not have a Foxy Friday on their roster.   Other teams have a embarrassment of Foxy Fridays gracing their roster. The Flames? Zilch.

Edmonton had three.  Florida had one. Even Buffalo…poor sad, 51-point-getting Buffalo had one.

That changes today. You have TJ Brodie to thank.

Sure, the Flames might have finished 13th (out of 14 teams in the West), but at least they’ve got this guy.

Since 2010, he’s been up and down with the Flames but this season saw him play 80 games with the team. He had a very respectable 30 points this season (4 G and 26 A).  That’s gotta be worth some Foxy Friday points, right? That’s what I thought too.

His team is might be crappier than a port-a-potty at a chili festival, but he’s got some Foxy Friday potential, like….

Eyebrows.

Tattoo.

A Beeker Face.

A wicked cool scar. (and a vampire hairline)

Safety always comes first with TJ.

The beginnings of an excellent playoff beard.

But alas…twas not meant to be.  Maybe next year, TJ.

In the meantime, we hope you and your fellow non-playoff friends have a great summer golfing, ski-dooing on Canadian lakes, and working out with Gary Roberts.

And instagramming/tweeting every glorious moment.

You loving on TJ? I bet you are.  Check out more about our newest Foxy Friday honoree here.

We didn’t pick the teams.  We wouldn’t have put them head-to-head until the gold medal game but let’s be honest, we can’t handle that.  We can’t even handle today.  Before we close our office doors and pretend to be throwing things and shrieking for work, let’s face off WUYS-style one last time.

Foxy Friday: Team USA vs. Team Canada 

You be the judge.

Team USA Goalies:

Quick, Howard, Miller

Team Canada goalies:

Price, Smith, Luongo

I think this frame is really Carey Price vs. the world, but perhaps you’re into over-long hair and disagree.

Team USA defense:

Faulk, Fowler, Carlson, Martin

I tried to help everyone out by picking photos of Justin Faulk and John Carlson that mitigate their fondness for 80’s metal hair.

Orpik, Shattenkirk, Suter, McDonagh

I even cropped a puppy out of Ryan McDonagh’s photo because that’s cheating.

Team Canada defense:

Bouwmeester, Doughty, Hamhuis, Keith

I’d have gone wtih four pics of Donuts (for each of his goals), but who knew Dan Hamhuis looked like that?

Pietrangelo, Subban, Weber, Vlasic

We hear Shea Weber is good at ping pong.  Invite him to that summertime charity tournament, right?  He can bring his short, stocky partner.

Team USA forwards (Part 1):

Pacioretty, Kessel, Oshie, Kesler

It’s not easy to find a viable photo of Phil Kessel.  Never have our makeover skills been so sorely needed!  Shine on, TJ Oshie, and hit him with your light.

Van Riemsdyk, Wheeler, Pavelski (See, Chuck!)

Also, Blake Wheeler coming through with some unexpected skill in this round.

Team Canada forwards (Part 1):

Sharp, Nash, Perry

Is any competition fair when Patrick Sharp competes?  His hair could win this on its own.

Geztlaf, Duchene, Kunitz, Marleau

Speaking of hair, I used the Ryan Getzlaf Time Machine here.  It had to be done.  Balance it against choosing a photo where Jimmy Howard doesn’t have crazy eyes – I tried to put the pretty filter on everyone.

Final round now, who’s going home a winner?  I saved the best for last.

Team USA forwards (Part 2):

Backes, Brown, Callahan, Kane

A half-smile is all Patrick Kane is allowed, like a handicap in golf.  Otherwise he wins every category, carrying Team USA to indisputable, upstate NY victory.

Stepan, Parise, Stastny

Paul Stastny going for the humor vote, because I could not find another decent photo.  Come on Colorado, get on it.

Team Canada forwards (Round 2):

Crosby, Benn, Carter, Bergeron

I don’t know who can withstand this.  Even Bergy’s giving you that look like he knows what you’re thinking about Crosby.

St. Louis, Toews, Tavares (weeeeeeep)

Then the JTs.  Sympathy points for Tavares are acceptable, but I’d rather have bonus points for seeing those glasses again.

Final Score…

You tell us: Which country has the foxiest Olympic squad?  Is it really a contest if you win either way?  We’re gonna need a bigger podium.

*Updated with names, for anyone who doesn’t spend all their free hockey blogging.