HI GUYS! Remember me? I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet and go over half a season of hockey that I’ve mostly missed. How does this happen? My life is like space in Interstellar, where time barely passes, while hockey and this blog remain on Earth, getting 80 years older every day without me.
So, All-Star Game?
Is anyone watching this? I kinda sorta almost totally forgot about it until someone mentioned John Tavares’ pants.
That will get my attention, even from space.
So, Crosby didn’t get invited. That’s old news. I wrote a mental blog post called “10 Things Sid Can Do Instead of the ASG”, which was quite funny. You should read it sometime when you develop mind-reading powers. Or tomorrow, if I get around to posting it.
The newer news is Ovi and Toews are hurt/sick and also suspended. The NHL sure knows how to cry when the whole class doesn’t come to their party.
Alas, with no drunken draft, most of the fun is gone from the weekend anyway. The NHL has realized this too late and made some replacement efforts to attract our attention:
1) Made John Tavares captain. He probably suggested this Footloose-inspired sobriety nonsense, for fear a real charitable organization might think Ovi was actually poor and needed a new car. The paperwork on that tax headache! But it does mean more camera time for Captain T and the Pleated Pants.
2) Dierks Bentley. HOLLER. I love country music, and Dierks is a big Preds fan, and everybody likes tight jeans. He’ll be one of the celeb coaches at the game.
3) All the Foxy Fridays. Damn if they didn’t replace Toews with James Neal. The NHL knew I wasn’t paying attention and just waved a red ginger flag in my face.
Add that to Pekka Rinne, Shea Weber and all-time FF fave, Roman Josi, and the home team is, um, well represented. Other Foxy Fridays on the roster: Jamie Benn, Matt Duchene, Patrick Kane, Tyler Seguin, Jonathan Quick, Patrice Bergeron, Ryan O’Reilly, Ben Bishop, Claude Giroux, holy crap are we there yet?, Evgeni Malkin, the aforementioned John Tavares, CPA, His Disney Highness Kris Letang, Ryan McDonaugh and Braden Holtby.
Note: Stamkos, #TeamHall and Nicky Backstrom have never been Foxy Fridays. This blog is a sham. Shut it down.
4) 3-on-3 Format. I won’t pretend to have an opinion on this, as I’ve watched approximately one OT period all season, but it sounds exciting. Top players + more open ice = more goals, right? But hasn’t the All-Star Game always ended in some Hobbit score of twelveses to eleventy anyway? Maybe the “last place in the draft” prize can be repurposed to the only player who doesn’t score a hat trick on Sunday.
5) The John Scott story. Voted into the ASG by fans, then traded and assigned to the AHL, the saga of whether or not John Scott would appear in the ASG has been ongoing news. Yesterday, Scott published this first person account in The Player’s Tribune. In it, he explains how someone from the NHL encouraged him, even now, not to attend this weekend’s events.
SCREW YOU, NHL. Wrong, bad, stupid, and also, WHY? John Scott may be the only player who actually cares about this game, and you think he should stay home? Do you think the fans who voted him in should not watch? Oh no, you want them. You NEED them.
Read the Player’s Tribune story. It will make you want to buy a John Scott jersey and stand up in your living room when he takes the ice on Sunday. I hope every player shows up wearing his name. You may not like Scott’s brand of hockey, but it is part of hockey. Scott may not be an elite player, but he is a player. Was a player? Will be an NHL player again? Who knows. But if you love the game, you have to love it’s scars.
So, see you guys tomorrow night on the Twitters to techno-judge the real skills at Skills Competition: hair, beard, sass? Our trifecta of All-Star Weekend talents.
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Foxy Friday: Aaron Ekblad
It’s not easy to surprise us with foxiness around the NHL – so vigilant is our endless search – and if you get past us, surely our eagle-eyed readers Tweet of a worthy candidate we somehow missed.
Not this time.
Aaron Ekblad walked on stage the ASG Draft and threw our work right out the window.
It’s a lucky thing Aaron was selected for the All-Star Game, or we may have never seen him. I mean never, because that’s how likely I am to watch a Panthers game. Well, never is a long time for him, so maybe someday. But we probably would have missed this hair:
(Object not, Panthers-fan friends, for my lack of attention to your team probably means they will beat my team in the playoffs. You’re welcome. Love, Karma)
In addition to the perfect boyband bangswave, Aaron is 6’4″, 216 lbs… and was born in 1996. Just a reminder! He was drafted first overall in 2014. Usually, draft photos are what we pull up eight years later to laugh about. Where is whoever writes this blog in 2023 going to get her comedy material?
Aaron had 4 assists for the victorious Team Toews in the All-Star Game. Not surprising, as he’s got 21A on the season and a total of 28 points. Who else has 28 points this season? James Neal.
Not bad, Aaron.
In case you momentarily forgot Aaron is 18, one of his favorite movies is “That Awkward Moment” – which is an awkward moment when someone’s favorite movie stars Zac Efron. Not knocking Zac, just admiring the bottomless chasm of age difference. [ More favorites here and here/video.] You know that Saved By the Bell Jimmy Fallon thing everyone is talking about? I bet Aaron’s never heard of Zack Morris.
The @FLAPanthers (which always reads “Flap Antlers” to me) are, by all accounts, in much better shape this year than last.
I mean on the ice, you guys. They are currently 9th in the East with 56 points – ahead of the Flyers (52), trailing the Bruins (61). Still plenty of time left for everything to go right or wrong.
Ekblad, along with his ASG mates Filip Forsberg (who the Caps traded away for nothing) and Johnny Gaudreau (who I will never, ever call “Johnny Hockey”), are frontrunners for the Calder Trophy as rookie of the year. [Intern Jeff Skinner just harrumphed and walked out.] With half this season left to go, it’s safe to say that Aaron is our pick. After all, he didn’t go to Boston College.
Follow Aaron on Twitter (@Ekblad5FLA), Instagram (aaronekblad5) and his website that is really a Tumblr in thing disguise: aaronekblad.ca.
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Thanks to the players who really came to play – not play like they do in competition every day, but the fun kind where the fans get to play along. Specifically, thank you because:
You looked great.
Really great.
Like “This Foxy Friday will be used against you in a court of law” great.
You made new friends.
You saw old friends.
And trolled them.
You talked a lot of trash.
You took a selfie.
You got drunk.
You forgot your new friend’s name.
He forgave you. Mostly.
You took more selfies.
You didn’t win a car.
Then you did win a car! But you weren’t the only one.
Either way, you won our hearts.
Even if just for a moment.
Even if you weren’t the MVP.
Most of all you made us forget all the guys who weren’t there, from the Subban-type snubs to the Crosby-esque casualites. Maybe the weekend could have been even better… but we didn’t miss them. So thanks for this weekend, and see you next year in Nashville.
]]>The complete list of players selected for the All-Star Game in Columbus on Jan 25 has been announced, but let’s start with the fan vote roster. Which looks like the Blackhawks roster.
Remember the Blackhawks jazzercize campaign video? Of course you do. Ne’er have you closed an eye since that day but you’ve seen this, seared in your memory and waiting, gold-chained and glorious, to remind you that votes are the very least you can give when one has smized so hard to earn them.
You may note a few things once your eyes adjust to all those Hawks logos:
1. NO CROSBY. Just in the fan vote, obviously, but Mr. Popularity, was not crowned Homecoming King this year. He can still call me if he needs a date, though. I am not so fickle.
2. What is a Zemgus Girgensons and how did it escape Middle Earth win the fan vote? This phenomenon was well-documented, so it didn’t exactly come out of nowhere (anymore than it completely came out of nowhere). Zemgus, who is 21 and plays in Buffalo, hails from Latvia. So mobilized were the 2 million people of his home country, they apparently did nothing but vote online for for the NHL ASG. Right to the top!
Some people say this is a tawdry exploitation of the game’s selection process. I say: YOU ARE NO FUN, partypoopers! It’s one roster spot. It’s the ASG, which is really just an excuse to look good during the skills competition. Guys who don’t get picked get to go on vacation and don’t have to pose for ’80s prom photos. Sure, it’s an honor to be voted in, but let’s be real. Zemgus plays in Buffalo. This might be the only thing he ever wins. I hope he enjoys the heck out of it.
3. Kane beat Toews. I love this. Just as Jon became more fun, Kaner became more serious. For next year’s campaign, they should do a full-length Grease remake. From:
to this:
Note Seabs, Keith and Crawford walking by in the back. That’s Shaw on the left.
The rest of the roster includes:
The list is… confusing. Or perhaps it’s “avant garde” and I never really understood that kind of art anyway. No Nicklas Backstrom, fantasy point machine. No James Neal’s hair blowing in the shot accuracy competition breeze. (That’ll teach you to get yourself traded away from Malkin… to a team leading the League. Figures.) No Chara, Zetterbeard or Datsyuk, no Sedins and no PK Subban. Remember that time he wore Intern Jeff Skinner’s jersey? Ah, those were the days. Puck Daddy has some more snub thoughts here.
Those who did make the cut will be wearing these sweaters. When the ASG is over, I hope they are donated to live out the rest of their unsightly lives in relative dignity as Major League Soccer referee jerseys.
Laviolette and Sutter will coach. Two team captains (and two alternates per team) will be announced next week, and they will hold the fantasy draft on Friday, January 23 at 8 PM (on NBCSN in the States). The draft is my favorite part of the weekend, even eclipsing the skills competition. Someone will get picked last, someone will trip going up the steps. Hugs will happen. John Tavares will be there.
Look at his middle-school-boy handwriting.
Overall, it sounds a heck of a lot better than my average Friday night. So we’ll see you there (er, here) for ASG Weekend!
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Ovi has a crush on him too – and who wouldn’t? I think pretty much all hockey players would put Kris at the top of all their lists.
I could pick his skate-gate out a 100 hockey player’s because it’s about as beautiful as his hair!
Watching him skate backwards SHOULD BE AN OLYMPIC SPORT – just sayin’ – it’s already an ALL-STAR GAME spectacle
I love summer because the thought of Kris being shirtless somewhere hot, keeps me going until I can see him on the ice come fall!
We usually tout the Foxy Friday’s NHL prowess in the post but he’s already got the Stanley Cup, been nominated for a Norris Trophy, been robbed a couple of years by NOT being nominated, and yet, I think they are just jealous. A guy who is this damn good-looking, can skate backwards with rainbows flowing all around him and lay a punch on you, make you see unicorns fly over head only to have you thank him after he’s scored on you both ON AND OFF THE ICE – is truly the FOXIEST guy in the NHL.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
]]>Mr. Pants: “What are you so happy about?”
Obviously he doesn’t share my pain in missing a week of hockey and the ASG Draft, or as we prefer to think of it, The WUYS Bachelor Auction. I’m sure it was great. And I saw they put Letang in the front row because even he can only get away with tripping once.
The Elimination Shootout started as we reached cruising altitude. Stamkos stepped up… and the pilot came on the PA talking about miles programs and tail winds and how, if you looked out the right side, you could see a chicken in Mississippi riding a bicycle. He talked the ENTIRE TIME! We almost had an incident with Homeland Security. Plus the seatbelt sign was on forever and I really had to pee.
During the post-win interview, I lost it and said, “Stop touching him, Pierre!” really loud. Unless Pierre has scissors, though it doesn’t look like he’d know how to cut hair.
Also, it’s not easy to watch Nealmobile do Accuracy Shooting when it’s illegal for me to scream, run around or throw things. As I watch back through the coverage, the ASG never fails to be a highlight of the season. It brainwashes me into a maniac who thinks things like:
Red heads in pink shirts? Sure, why not! Too bad no one could straighten it out before shooting. Unless Giroux’s going to tear it off, it shouldn’t be stretched like that. My inner publicist cringes. (Note: That plaid jacket still needs to go. Along with Neal’s. Were they on sale in Ontario at some point?)
Carey Price is funny. And charming. I didn’t think this could get worse.
Scott Hartnell + the Sedins = my nightmare. Except it’s fantastic.
And some things’s don’t surprise. Henrik Lundqvist puts everyone to shame, in every category.
If you didn’t think Patrick Kane would steal the show then you must be new around here.
As always, the awkward prom photos. Everyone is cringing about talking to fathers and having to
What did you guys think? No Crosby, Toews, Green, Backstrom, zero Staals. Still everything you hoped for? And share your favorite bits, because I probably missed them!
]]>So to brighten my spirits and entertain myself for the next few days, I’ve devised a little All-Star Weekend Drinking Game.
Because, really nothing says “fun” like hockey, hockey players, and a little booze.
Just ask Patrick Kane. Or Brad Marchand. Or Tyler Seguin.
The All-Star Weekend Drinking Game
(suitable for all events – Fantasy Draft, Skills Competition, & the game itself)
I have a feeling I’m going to get really drunk this weekend…
So, WUYSers, what other rules would you add to your ASG Drinking Game?
]]>At 8pm tonight, fifty of the best hockey players in the world (38 NHL All-Stars and 12 top rookies) will be up for selection in the Player Fantasy Draft. All-stars and rookies will be divided into two teams – Team Alfredsson (aka Team Pants), led by captain Daniel Alfredsson and assistant captain Henrik Lundqvist, and Team Chara (aka Team Chuck), led by captain Zdeno “Z-Big” Chara and assistant captain Joffrey Lupul.
Quick refresher on how the Fantasy Draft works…
So who’s up for grabs?
Jamie Benn | Logan Couture |
Pavel Datsyuk | Jordan Eberle |
Marian Gaborik | Claude Giroux |
Scott Hartnell | Marian Hossa |
Jarome Iginla | Patrick Kane |
Phil Kessel | Evgeni Malkin |
Milan Michalek | James Neal |
Corey Perry | Jason Pominville |
Daniel Sedin | Henrik Sedin |
Tyler Seguin | Jason Spezza |
Steven Stamkos | John Tavares |
Brian Campbell | Alexander Edler |
Dan Girardi | Erik Karlsson |
Kris Letang | Dion Phaneuf |
Ryan Suter | Kimmo Timonen |
Shea Weber | Dennis Wideman |
Keith Yandle | Brian Elliott |
Jonathan Quick | Tim Thomas |
Carey Price | Jimmy Howard |
After he was selected as a captain, Chara did mention that he was going to take this draft very seriously and do as much research as possible, so it will be interesting to see what his strategy will be. Think he hit up Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli for some pointers?
Will he take his teammate & Vezina winning goaltender Tim Thomas with the first pick? Or will the events of this week and the recent revelation that Thomas does not have many friends amoungst his teammates sway Chara’s decision?
Now I’m no prognosticator, but I can tell you what you will see tonight.
One thing you won’t see…
And I for one, am gonna miss this.
Derp.
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Another thing I’ve missed up until now is the NHL All-Star Game voting.
I restricted my choices to people currently playing. Obviously I believe Crosby should be in – he was more of an all-star in his few games this year than most people are in a whole season. But if he’s well, he’ll get in. (See the leaderboard here.) I deliberately sent my votes where they can count.
1) Nicklas Backstrom – If Ovi gets in and Nicky doesn’t, someone will receive a strongly worded letter written in cut-out magazine letters.
2) Jonathan Toews – scored his 300th career point last night, overall superstar and BAMF. You don’t see a lake named after anyone else.
3) James Neal – needs no explanation. HONK!
4) Duncan Keith – Did you see him rob Matt Cullen on a shorthanded breakaway last night? Norris Trophy, what?
5) Shea Weber – 100+ MPH shot, massive blocking body, all-star playoff beard, friends with Dierks Bentley. Scored from the cheap seats (and we mean in the net!). Haven’t seen it? Puck Daddy has it, they always do [link].
6) Marc-Andre Fleury – Forever holding it down in the back, never knowing who might be available to stand in front of him every night. And for the off chance he’ll spin like a ballerina or sass Carey Price.
You can vote up to 30 times at vote.nhl.com. I’ll let you guys win the trip to Ottawa, because I’ll be on my honeymoon until that Saturday. I’m missing the draft and skills competitions in real-time, so Chuck will have to man the Twitter and express all of my squee-tastic opinions.
]]>Your first day at WUYS (seven months ago):
That time you believed “media training” meant letting Pants and Chuck cut your hair:
That time Dawn asked you what Kris Letang wore under his gear at the ASG:
That time you charmed the entire world into asking you to the prom (even if Cassy had to windsor your tie). SWAG:
That time everyone loved you, and you realized WUYS might be on to something here:
That time you scored a ton of goals, were generally incredible and still looked this excited every single time:
Your birthday party starts at 4 PM in the conference room. Just as well you’re 19, we’ve got Mexi-Colas and Whatchamacallit bars for everyone. Eric and Cam have RSVP’d and well, then we didn’t bother inviting anyone else. Best party ever!
]]>OK, I will confess to being a bit of a Classical Music nerd having sat through Wagner’s Ring Cycle – and no, that is not a horror movie trilogy. I was watching Dancing with the Stars so I could watch Maks drop Kristie Alley again like a shot putter over loaded at the Olympics! But instead, Mr. Cherrie found me talking to the TV at this Hottie for Classical Music theme night. I just rolled my eyes and told Mr. Cherrie I could see through the window dressing and that his guy was GOOD – no GREAT! He can play “The Flight of Bumble Bee” in 66 seconds – a world record!
And then I thought, “Hey – we had a blow out last year about – he who I won’t name for fear of being flash mobbed by his fans again – WHY NOT start early and suggest David Garrett? International yet Half-American! Young, hip and HOT! I think this would work! Hockey fans might actually appreciate this guy who would bring some flash and totally rock BOTH anthems “O Canada” and “The Star Spangle Banner” – ala Jimi Hendrix Style and bring some much needed Pazzaz to the game. Oh say can you see … Oh hell yes! I say!
I know it’s the play-offs and why am I going on about the All-Star game? BECAUSE … that’s how my brain works sisters. You should all know that by now! And BTW – you should totally down load ROCK SYMPHONIES on iTunes like, NOW because you will LOVE IT!
]]>Can’t wait for the next Pens VS Caps game! I wonder if Ovi is going to take Kris out to dinner afterwards or if they are just going to get down to business?
So here are my highlights and lowlights of the ASG weekend in no particular order:
1. Only in Canada would they NOT go to the All Star Game because the Grand-Slam of Curling is going into Over Time. Leaving me running around the house in a panic while a large rock slowly drifts down a long runway while a bunch of men rub brushes in front of it.
2. Jonathan Towes is a bit of a gash. Sorry Pants. This weekend only made me dislike him more. He’s a bit a cry-baby. And I think his team mates think so too. Which is why they did what they did.
3. On the other hand, Jeff Skinner made like the Grinch and STOLE THE ASG weekend! At 18 years old he showed poise, sportsmanship and a knock out smile. Watch out for this one!
4. The CBC mic’d up Eric Staal the whole game. All I can say is, next year, please put this game on HBO and mic up Fleury because you know Fleury was talking smack all first period. Micing up E. Staal is like micing up Ned Flanders or a bowl of vanilla ice cream, only vanilla ice cream doesn’t scream like a girl, totes seriously. My cats were really upset during the game.
5. Contrarily, the third period when Tim Thomas was mic’d, he was hilarious. Especially when the announcers wouldn’t stop talking to him and his son texted and told him to stop so Timmy could concentrate! Then they asked about Letang scoring on him Timmy said, “I made three mistakes on that one: first I didn’t see the backcheck, second I expected him to pass and third, he took the shot and went up on me. hahahahha.”6.Danny Briere. Now I don’t like him – AT ALL. And initially I didn’t think he should be there. But after the CBC interviewed him and his three kids, I’ve done a 180. When they asked his son what was the best part of the weekend, his son said, “Spending time with my dad.” Danny seemed to really need to be there more for his kids’ sake then his ego and watching his son give the interview, Danny seemed on the verge of tears. Strange family dynamics going on there but he obviously really cares about his kids and it meant alot to him to have them there. Total Hallmark moment.
7. The CBC interviewing Fleury about his chat with Ovi after Ovi scored on him in the breakaway challenge. One thing you have to love CBC interviews is there are never any warm up questions. They cut to the chase. So when Scott Oakes opens the interview with Fleury saying, “So obviously this isn’t the first time Ovi has scored on you.” Nice. Way to warm him up. Awkward. Then he continues asking about the intense rivalry between The Caps and The Penguins and what would they have to talk about. So Fleury just replies, ” I try to remain civil, you know, not throw my stick at him.” with a big smile. Way to make Scott Oakes go away.
8. Almost lastly, no matter how much this game ‘doesn’t count’ the first period started out nonchalant but then it got competitive. Not super competitive but you could tell no wanted it be a landslide either way. So when Kris Letang almost took Jonas Hiller’s head off with a seriously hard shot, he went over to apologize. Even he doesn’t realize how awesomely hard his shot it.9. Mike Green a.k.a. Where’s Waldo? When ever the CBC showed Ovi you got a shot of Kris Letang, which for me, was AWESOME. I already did a post on the best thing that came out of the ASG! I expected to see Mike Green but I got KL. But like, where did Mike Green go? Did he and Ovi have a fight? Was Greenie upset because he got ditched for Kris? Can I blame Ovi?
10. The BEST COMMENT FROM AN ANNOUNCER ON A GOAL EVER: When Briere made his second goal: “BRIERE JUST WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE NORMAN KEEPS HIS MOTHER!”
]]>And what better way to showcase them, than with the always fun Super Skills Competition.
So here are the results…
and some of our favorite moments…