And hello to their off-season golf shorts, boats-on-lakes and selfies.  Amirite?

Who will carry on this proud tradition while Gabe makes the post-season?

Before it’s over, a last look at some players we haven’t looked at in a while.

Adam Henrique

Someone just asked for more Adam Henrique around here and we are nothing if not obliging.  Did you know Adam was named one of the NHL’s Three Stars of the Week twice this month?  He was #2 the week ending March 2, with three consecutive multi-point games and the team lead in PPG and SHG.  Then he was #2 the week ending March 9, scoring a League-leading 5 goals to round out a 6-game streak with 9 total goals.  It took him to the team lead in goals (23), which he now shares with Jagr.

The week ending March 16, Adam didn’t win anything.  But he did look like this and we think that’s worthy of applause.

(SI.com: The Devils could still make the playoffs.)

The Oilers

Pound Puppies.  From the high to the low – no Oilers are winning any prizes these days, unless it’s a summertime lifeboat trade off the Titanic.  Edmonton’s lost their last three by scores of 5-2 (Sharks), 8-1 (Flames) and 3-1 (Sabres).  The Calgary game was especially ugly, featuring another fed up fan throwing a jersey onto the ice.  And Ben Scrivens throwing it back.

Edmonton Journal story: Scrivens defends the logo.

His aim is pretty good – maybe he should be a forward.

Speaking of forwards with good er, bad aim, Taylor Hall slammed a water bottle and soaked coach David Tennant Dallas Eakins.  It looks far less dramatic than it sounds, and why does every Canadian news outlet link to this crappy YouTube?  Are you saying even in Canada no one was watching Flames vs. Oilers?  Now that carries some sting.

Both #TeamHallsy and Coach Eakins spoke of diffusing the situation [link].  It doesn’t change the numbers (EJ: RNH, Eberle, Ference second-half slumps), the standings or anything but what the team may look like when October comes around again.

Intern Jeff Skinner

Aw, Skins.  He leads the Canes with 27 goals, just four off the pace of his Calder Trophy-winning rookie season.  Everyone said he scored so many (then sophomore slumped so hard) because defenders realized they needed to defend him.  Either they’ve forgotten again or Jeff’s beating them – either way, nice rebound.  The off-season could bring big changes for the Canes coaches and players, with Jeff rumored to be on the trading block [link].

This job ain’t easy.

Jordan Staal

A name I haven’t said in ages, Jordan has 15 goals and 39 points.  It could almost look good compared to his trade counterpart Brandon Sutter’s 11G/13P.  Then you wake up and realize BSutts plays for the Penguins and Jordan is a Hurricane.  They were really going to be something, right?  I thought them a bubble team at least.  Maybe next year, or any one of the other contract years Jordan didn’t want $60 million to play 3rd line Pittsburgh center and ever see the post-season.

Tumblr caption, better than mine.

Shea Weber

Without the Olympics, and specifically ping pong, I might have forgotten about Shea Weber entirely this season.  Until playoffs of course, when I will miss his scraggly man-beard and erudite caveman spectacles.  He leads Nashville with 46P, and has a team-second 18G.  18 goals from a defenseman (3rd in the NHL) almost leads your team.  Oy vey.  At least the Predators have the sense to host a wine festival on April 24 – no players advertised to attend though, their season will be long over by then.

Mesmerized and Terrified: The Dan Hamhuis Story

Bobby Ryan

Just announced: Bobby will miss the rest of the season for sports hernia surgery [link].  He’s been playing injured since November until a last straw in Saturday’s game vs. Dallas.  Still, he leads the Senators with a career-low 23 goals.  Read that again.  Consider the Ducks’ 99 points and 46-18-7 record.  You could have let the guy play in the damned Olympics, at least!  Instead Bobby spent the Olympic break getting engaged (sigh) in Paris (double sigh) and then (we assume) reuniting with his cats in a moment worthy of Homeward Bound.

John Tavares

Welp.  Even without his season-ending injury in Sochi it would soon be time to say summer to our favorite hot middle school science teacher and part-time model.  We leave you with this for remembrance purposes:

(Seriously HOW have I never seen that before?)

 Michael Del Zotto

I almost left him off – it’s been a rough year – until he joined Instagram while I was writing this. (Practically true – instagram.com/MDZofficial.)  Could this be the man carrying the boats-and-selfies banner?  I would not complain.  Just watch out for sharks.

Don’t know what this is from, don’t care.

While we’d like to see some of these guys play into May or beyond, this is not the time of year to be nice.  There’s no room for 3rd and 4th favorites, for interns or Cinderella stories when my heart is full of so much…  excitement?  Is that what this is?  Fear?  Hope?  Bile the color of Flyers’ jerseys?  Just wondering gives me chest pains.  Other teams will miss the playoffs (please don’t be the Caps, she whispers) and we’ll talk about them when they do.  For now, it’s still anybody else’s game.

from Geno’s Instagram

Well no, our obsession with boys in glasses began long ago.  Maybe it was when Chuck and I got our own glasses, or when we realized that we a) are nerds and b) like nerds.  Glasses may be more cool than Coke bottle these days, but the allure remains.

Smart is sexy.  The appearance of intelligence doesn’t hurt either.  It really helps if you look like you might read a book once in a while, and we’re not talking about the Official Strategy Guide for World of Warcraft.  (Kidding!  Mr. Pants has this.)

Based on the knowledge that girls do make passes at boys who wear glasses, here’s a collection of indisputable, photographic proof.

Foxy Friday: Hockey Players in Glasses

Okay, that’s unfair.

Now is the time to embrace your inner dork and give in.

Don’t kid us with your faux-frames, Kevin!  Kes would never do that.

Glasses can really improve any outlook.

They cannot overcome two earrings though, Buff.

And make terrifying things like Shea Weber’s beard slightly less so.

Glasses are a gateway drug for hipsters…

He’s since had Lasik, sorry.

… and at the same time, their crowning glory.

We haven’t seen these specs since Paul Gaustad left for Nashville…

Or since Chris Kirkpatrick’s turtleneck wardrobe went out of style.

That awkward high school photo of everyone, ever.

They can be used as a disguise…

Cape optional.

But if we see them on TV, we’re going to want to see them on your face.  We’re talking to you, James Neal.

And we’re not above getting your best friend to peer pressure you (or withhold breakfast).

Heck, glasses even work on Flyers…

And ex-boyfriends (who are now Flyers)…

And lobsters.

You don’t have to be a part-time model.  But it doesn’t hurt.

BONUS ROUND! Suggested by @jstefanc:

Happy Friday!

In non-140 character speak, he has accepted their offer to be paid like this:

The Predators have seven days to match the offer.  If they don’t, they’ll get 4 first-round draft picks from the Flyers.

Holy cow, people.  First off, the Preds went to arbitration last season because they didn’t want to pay Weber $7+ million for 3 years.  Too bad, he was awarded $7.5 million for 2011-12.  This $110/million deal averages to $7.86 million a year.  Weber will be 27 when the season starts and before he turns 33, over 72% of the contract will have been paid out.  Astronomical numbers, but the average and the front-loading sound like pretty good deals.  In 7-10 years from now, $6 million/year will probably be peanuts compared to what the kids are getting paid.  After that $13 million/year bonus disappears in 4 years, Weber becomes even more attractive trade bait.

More attractive than this?

 My head hurts.

Bonuses count against the salary cap.  The Preds have room under their cap for a deal like this.  Here’s the best part: it’s front-loaded to discourage the Predators from signing because… Weber will earn $27 million in the first *calendar* year of this deal.  WTF, how is that possible? [link]  Here’s how:

If they match, the Preds would have him for 14 years.  But does Weber want to stay in NSH?  Arbitration last summer, would have been UFA next summer, and now this.  Is Shea sick of waiting for a deal, or trying to jump ship?

And if the Preds match, they have to keep Weber for one season before trying to trade.  That one season will cost them $27 million.  Unhappy player vs a shit-ton of money?  I’d give anything to know what Weber’s feeling on Nashville really is.

Bigger meets BetterFasterMore.

The really important part of this conversation is: STAY OUT OF THE EASTERN CONFERENCE, SHEA WEBER.

This is my nightmare.  Shea Weber as a Flyer.  Ice crews trained to squeegee my favorite players’ faces/blood/talent off the glass in arenas up and down the eastern seaboard.  Watching every game through my fingers.  Knowing Sid is out there six games against this guy, instead of one.  Or Nicky B.  Anyone.  Oh God.

Sorry, Blackhawks.  Keep your heads up out there.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled day of watching Twitter so see what happens next.  I don’t know if this post even makes sense after so many numbers.

Hey Shane, no need to get angry .. you’re moving on in the series but staying in Phoenix! You just won the Lottery!

Ya just can’t mess with the force – dude.

I think there was a grand disturbance in the force when Chewie tapped into the dark side and smashed Hans Solo’s head into the boards in an earlier series and sometimes karmic galactic payback is a bitch.

Chewie will now be able to make it back to Kashyyyk in time to celebrate Life Day.

You shall not move … I command it.

Lord Vader Shanahan needs souls to keep doling out his brand of justice

So now the Conference Finals are set for the West Coast – Phoenix vs. LA Kings.

After this weekend, the heat intensified over how Brendan Shanahan decides suspensions and disciplinary action. But for us women, there’s no secret. After the Campbell empire of nepotism and favoritism crumbled there was hope for a clean start. But after almost a year in the position it looks like The Plastics are back with 2.0 edition.

Here is Shanahan and Bettman at a press conference discussing the recent Torres suspension:

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1384659

This is what it must be like behind closed doors when they are deciding on disciplinary action. “Well Brendan, you have the physique of a 20 year old Zack Parise shooting down the cold freshly zambonied ice on a winter classic day with a crazed Shea Weber chasing you trying to smash you head into the boards.”

shanahan simply calls it in

ask henrik if this was worth $2,500 bowl full of crazy

My point is, discipline should be like justice, blind, fair and across the board. A hit should be judged on its own. Not if someone is hurt, not if someone is a popular or famous player, but as a stand alone on its own merits – as it were. This is simply not happening. I realize people are human but come on.

And don’t use Matt Cooke is the poster boy for this system – it was the Penguins who sat him down and said it’s your job or you’re out. That was the reason he change, NOT Shanahan or the new system.

And although I’m a little disappointed with all the nasty play and dirty hits and the lack of respect that some players *coughraffitorres* have shown for their fellow players, there is something about this time of year that makes my heart just fill up with joy and excitement.

I love that I acutally have the opportunity to watch teams that I otherwise never get to see.  Like the Nashville Predators, for instance.

For years, I’ve been indifferent to them.  I didn’t hate them, nor did I love them.  They were just there.  Existing in a Western Conference world that I just never visited.

I respect Barry Trotz and his loyalty immensely.  I give props to the organization being patient and slowly building an organization and a team that can compete with the big dogs of the NHL.  I makes me happy to see that the fans in Nashville have embraced this team and the sport of hockey.

The Preds have made the playoffs 7 out of their 13 years of exsitance and last year, they even won their 1st ever playoffs series, defeating the Anaheim Ducks in the first round.  Also that season, they had 16 regular season sell-outs and 6 sell-outs during the playoffs.

Well played, Music City.

We love hockey almost as much as we love country music!

Well, last night, I had the chance to watch the Preds take on the Wings in game 3 of their series.  Although the Preds are seeded #4 to the Wings’ #5, you know this is going to be a tough series, but I’m really liking the Preds chances in this one.

Pekka Rinne is a freak of nature a la Zdeno Chara and should not be as atlethic and quick as he is.

He is 6’5″!  He’s a goalie! It boggles the mind.

So very tall.

Martin Erat is playing well.  Paul Gaustad and David Legwand are well over 50% in face-off wins.  Shea Weber and Ryan Suter are doing a great job of shutting down Zetterberg, Datsyuk and all the other offensive talent that the Wings have.  They are arguably one of the best defensive pairings in the NHL.  (Chara & Seidenberg are the best.  Sorry, I’m biased)

They have some great young players, especially Gabriel Bourque, who scored this beaut last night.

KNEE DROP. SNIPE.

It also helps that the Predators have two Boston University Terriers on their roster – Brandon Yip and Foxy Friday honoree, Colin Wilson. As a tried and true Terrier, my blood runs scarlet and white and seeing two very talented former college players from my alma mater get the chance to play in the NHL makes me appreciate this team even more.

So for the remainder of their playoff run, I’ll be rooting for the blue and gold, much to Gator’s dismay.  She’s already mad at me because of the Bruins/Caps series and now this one, too.

What can I say?  I’m digging the Predators.

Perhaps I’ll have to invest in NHL Center Ice next year, after all….

No, no. Thank YOU.

Another thing I’ve missed up until now is the NHL All-Star Game voting.

I restricted my choices to people currently playing.  Obviously I believe Crosby should be in – he was more of an all-star in his few games this year than most people are in a whole season.  But if he’s well, he’ll get in.  (See the leaderboard here.)   I deliberately sent my votes where they can count.

1) Nicklas Backstrom – If Ovi gets in and Nicky doesn’t, someone will receive a strongly worded letter written in cut-out magazine letters.

2) Jonathan Toews – scored his 300th career point last night, overall superstar and BAMF.  You don’t see a lake named after anyone else.

3) James Neal – needs no explanation. HONK!

4) Duncan Keith – Did you see him rob Matt Cullen on a shorthanded breakaway last night?  Norris Trophy, what?

5) Shea Weber – 100+ MPH shot, massive blocking body, all-star playoff beard, friends with Dierks Bentley.  Scored from the cheap seats (and we mean in the net!).  Haven’t seen it?  Puck Daddy has it, they always do [link].

6) Marc-Andre Fleury – Forever holding it down in the back, never knowing who might be available to stand in front of him every night.  And for the off chance he’ll spin like a ballerina or sass Carey Price.

You can vote up to 30 times at vote.nhl.com.  I’ll let you guys win the trip to Ottawa, because I’ll be on my honeymoon until that Saturday. I’m missing the draft and  skills competitions in real-time, so Chuck will have to man the Twitter and express all of my squee-tastic opinions.

I Googled this photo, which led me to another WUYS post. Of course.

oh boy, watcha gonna do know?

I’m leaving him for YOU. Cue Adele. Well. I heard a rumor that DDTBG was holding out for more dough, ah, I mean signing with the Kings because he was waiting to see what Shea Weber was going to do during his arbitration. Why you ask? Well the mill said he felt he was on par with the mighty Weber and what he could get, DDTBG could get or more.

7.5 million dollar man

I say, Weber hasn’t been touched by god – he may be touched by a mighty beard in play-off times, a slap shot that would put fear in many a goalie, many of our loyal readers may want to touch him – cue Samatha Fox – yes I WENT THERE! For those of you who have NO IDEA WTF I’m talking about -she was Ke$ha before, well just watch for yourself. But ah, not feeling the comparison. And I’ll leave it at that. Not touching it with a ten-foot pole because everyone knows how much I LOVE DDTBG.

Now the Hockey Gods have spoken, I don’t think it’s quite what DDTBG was hoping for; 7.5 million and a one year contract.  While that may buy DDTBG a whole lot of IN N OUT BURGERS, it’s not the golden ticket to security I think he was hoping for with the KINGS, or should I say, the golden throne, the golden contract, the golden crown, OK, I think you get the analogy.

Now he’s caught between Timmy the Tank and a goal post and that’s not a good place to be. Vancouver knows how that feels!

hard times... hard times are comin'

We’re gonna miss ya, buddy.

*poursoneoutforherhomey*

Battle of the Foxy Fridays...and their facial hair.

The Canucks win.  Somewhere Shea Weber’s beard defeats all attempts to be removed.  That thing had a building permit and poured a foundation, it’s going to be a hot summer in wherever Shea is from.  Ryan Kessler ditches the secret identity ruse and goes full-on super hero.  DUH.

Fear that Beard.

San Jose drops another one to the Wings.  It’s okay, no one is watching.  There’s plenty of other stuff going on to distract everyone while you play game 6 tonight.

Hangover II

The Bruins/Lightning series is not yet scheduled.  They’ve all gotten advance degrees in thumb-twiddling during the break.  Seriously San Jose, no one is waiting for you to finish.  Take your time.

Sitting, waiting, wishing...

But this is hardly news and frankly, quite boring.  So today, this instead.

GOATS!

With glasses?  Please stop.  He’s making a bid to be Mike Green’s Sensitive New Age Defenseman (SNAD) partner.  He looks like he has one last paper to finish before he can graduate with that degree in Dead Languages.  Either that or he’s on the lam after robbing a bank and attempting to fool facial recognition software.

I can’t seem to link to the Preds TV interview, but you can find it on the homepage of NHL.com.  They too are fascinated with the beard.

A beard is an excellent accessory for looking disappointed or frustrated.  It’s got gravitas, right?  Pretty soon it’ll be moving into a bunker in the Canadian wilderness, stocked full of canned goods and ammunition.

I feel your pain.

I really do. I was there last year. My caps went out in the first round. This was me last year. But I lived through it. And you will too.

I'm serious. Wipe the F*** chocolate off your face and get up! YES - YOU!

You are better than this and your men need you. Maybe not your team but there are others out there in the trenches fighting, that need adopting temporarily at least until the end of the season. And this is YOUR SPORT. This is Hockey and a drought is coming – need I remind you? SUMMER … NO HOCKEY? At all? So pull yourself together, go back through the blog and pick a team, a man, SOMEONE, adopt-a-man, adopt-a-cause – put a stamp on it and make it YOURS and work it sister. Because come June, we are all going to look like the above so no getting a jump on things now!

Five reasons you should ADOPT-A MAN-CAUSE-ANYTHING-RIGHT-NOW-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-HOCKEY:

1. What else do you have going on? I mean really? Seriously. Tell us. Because we would know. NOTHING. Huh. So? what are you waiting for? If you need suggestions. We have some.

2. There are some very ELIGIBLE men available for ADOPTION. Shea Weber. Mike Fisher. The Sedin Twins. No, I am not joking here. They have an awesome sense of humor and mad skills. Joe Thornton. Patrick Marleau. Oh god did I just write that? Tim Thomas. Henrik Zetterberg. Mike Modano. Brian Boucher. Milan Lucic. Andrej Meszaros. Martin St. Louis. Steven Stamkos. Mike Green. See, I’m not even asking you to support you-know- who because I know you will from the closet and that’s OK!

how could you not support this?

3. THERE IS NO CRYING IN HOCKEY. EVER. Except if you’re Sean Avery and really, do you want to join that club? Screaming, breaking things, punching objects and being sad pandas, OK. We except that.

we'll even give you a cyber-hug.

4. If you ‘accidentally run into’ and by ‘accidentally’ I mean ‘accidentally on purpose stalking them’ –  say, Kris Letang or MAX TALBOT or Jonathan Toews, do you really want a badunkadunk butt or muffin top (even though that’s the best part of the muffin!) from all the chocolate, bon bons and cupcakes you ate? Wouldn’t you want to be in your fabulous best shape EVER?!

well hello there, come here often? wanna see MY stanley cups?

5. IT’S HOCKEY. YOU LOVE IT. WE LOVE IT. IT’S NOT OVER – YET. YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. WE BELIEVE.

So let's kiss, make up and move on!

And lastly, whether we all like it or not, as Sean Connery said in HIGHLANDER, “There can be only one.”

my what fancy wear and BTW - pants LOVES your hat!

boring but ok.

This is what you SHOULD be able to buy at shop NHL.COM if I ran the circus. Just sayin.

thank you, thank you very much.

Chuck Norris eats trophies for breakfast.

They join the Red Wings and Capitals in the waiting room to see who they’ll play next.  Nashville (#5) is the only team so far to upset a higher seed (Ducks were #4).  It’s also worth pointing out that both Chuck and I picked the Preds to win this series, because we’re clearly in charge of everything.

Sorrs, Perr.

I went to a Preds game back in their first season (I am that old) and had a great time.  Brand new arena, almost no one knew what was going on.  It’s great to see Nashville becoming a serious hockey town and getting so behind their team.  Phoenix could only dream of this.  Here’s hoping they face Detroit in the next round, because it means San Jose and Chicago both won.

Agent Orange

Shea Weber is approaching Level ELMO.  He was somewhere between bath time and Rubber Duckie, now he’s leaning toward “Here fishy, fishy, fishy!”

Faster than you can say “a la peanut butter sandiwches!”, Shea will be getting trimming that beard clear of his eyes to see the ice.  By round 2 he’ll be combing and braiding it, perhaps in Preds colors.  Ryan Getzlaf is really pissed that Weber’s growing gratuitous hair while bald guy goes bald.

Tickle Me Weber

It’s necessary to point out that Shea cheated a bit on his beard and started growing before the regular season ended.  This is frowned upon by Max Talbot, who Tweeted when he shaved clean before game 1 so his beard is all playoffs and nothing but the playoffs, so help him Sasquatch.

While Shea is not approaching Fear the Beard status yet, he is so far the most likely candidate for the Brian Wilson Kicks Your Ass Award.  Final voting will take place after the Cup is awarded.  Start tracking your candidates now.  Most likely to NOT win for his beard, even if they win the Cup (and not care because they won the Cup): our beloved Swede, Nicky B.  Seriously, I get more coverage from eating chocolate ice cream.

awwwws

Enjoy the weekend and check back Monday to see which beards surivive!

Is the stanley cup hiding in there?

This week’s beard update. Here’s where it stands. The Sedin’s are disqualified because they always have one and it’s always groomed. Shea Weber started too early but I’ll include him solely because of its sheer awesomeness but he’s out of the running and same goes for George Parros. And believe it or not, there is actually an attractive man under that obnoxious 70’s facial hair and horrible hair cut!

As Mr. Cherrie says, "This is made for riding!"

No wonder Detroit keeps winning, the entire team can grow one in a day!

Who knew? Evidently not Boston ...

Mike Green is growing something MAGICAL! HOLY COW!

let's hope more goals come flying out of Patrice's beard ...or somewhere else - SOON!

where on earth did this come from? because one minute is wasn't there and the next - BAM! scooby doo !

no wonder this series is tied 1-1 ... penner and wallin.

does this really surprise any of us? ALL MAN ... ALL THE TIME.

Winner winner chicken dinner! Why is this young lady smiling? Because she took the challenge!

This photo is a few days old, so it’s even bushier now.  I’m watching the Preds/Wings game and for a second I thought a large homeless man was trying to clear the zone.

And so it begins.  I hope the Preds make it so we can see this thing in action.  It’s kind of going Fu Manchu in the middle there already.

My response: I have been telling you this FOR YEARS.

And then, because truth is better than fiction, this:

Not because I wish I were Canadian.  Not even because Crosby is my favorite player on my favorite team.  Just because, as everyone realized for a few short days, hockey is awesome.

Maybe I’m a terrible American for how much I wanted this.  The US fought their hearts out, but this was the right ending for the story.  Just like our favorite Miracle on Ice story, sometimes fairy tales come true.

All the WUYS faves: Crosby, Iggy, Joey, Nash-ty, EStaal, TGB Doughty, Weber plus Old Man Neidermayer and Toews isn't even derping in the top corner.

On a not-so-side note, I feel this is also the opportunity to just put this out into the universe and hope someone is listening:  come back soon.  We miss you, the Pens miss you, heck I think even Dawn misses hating on you.   Today TSN read a roster of 40 players currently out with concussions (40!).  I held my breath hoping they weren’t going to say your name, that maybe you were surprising us all.  But there you were, almost last on the list.  It feels wrong to chase the Cup without you.

So we’re giving Shea a little Foxy Friday love in hopes that it boosts his internet profile. *wink*

I'm laughing because I'm going to hurt you.

Wikipedia has informed me that Weber grew 5 inches in one year (that hurts) and was 6’2″ at the age of 15 (that’s awkward).  I like the name Shea, but I bet it helps to be a giant so high school kids aren’t mean to you.

Weber became the Preds captain at the end of last year.  He also won Olympic gold with Team Canada.  He currently leads the team with 29 points and the Predators are 4th in the Western Conference. That’s ahead of the Blackhawks, folks.

Real conversation with my brother:

Pants: Going to a hockey game.  Sharks vs. Predators.

Brother: The Predator is someone’s mascot? Is that even allowed?

Pants: Predators.  Not the Predator.

Brother: Oh.  Bummer.  ScyFy should do a Shark vs. Predator movie starring Schwarzennegger.  They could play hockey.

At the Sharks vs. Predators game two weeks ago, Shea just looked like a nice guy.  Until he leveled someone with a huge hit.  But that’s how we roll here at WUYS – we like it rough. You might even end up ass-over-tea kettle in your own bench!

Chuck pointed out that this is two Nashville Foxy Fridays in a row.  Someday I’ll break out the photo of  me & Steve Sullivan at the 1994 Albany River Rats Calder Cup Championship event and show you all what foxy really means.  (Note: I will never show you this picture.  It’s too embarrassing for both of us.)