Foxy Friday: Justin Faulk

Cuddle Puddle!

So, yeah. We’re talking about hockey!

Justin Faulk is 23, American from Minnesota, plays defense and was the Canes’ sole representative at this year’s NHL All Star Game. He also appeared in last year’s ASG.

That concludes 100% of what I know about him. Back to the internet, Alex.

In November, we captioned this: “Justin Faulk is really, really sorry that his hands are so big and his hair is so tousled.” Still true.

SI.com featured Faulk in January, mentioning that he is putting together a potentially historic goal total this season. Not his 15 goals overall, but the fact that 12 of them are power play goals. If he can get to 20 PPG, he’ll be the first defenseman to ever do so in a single season. In the story, you can read how Justin’s mom credits repeated watchings of The Mighty Ducks with teaching Justin to skate.

Hey, that movie is probably to blame for our hockey careers too.

Does Spidey have horns, or…

Faulk won an NCAA championship with Univ. of Minnesota Duluth and was part of the 2014 US Olympic Team, where he took part in possibly the most inexplicable portrait shoot ever.

Zoolander 2, in theaters today.

No, actually, I’ve seen this before.

Damn, I was going for ‘thoughtful.’

Justin’s amassed quite a collection of facial scars in his young career, and isn’t afraid to selfie them for your benefit. I’ll put that photo behind this link. Instead, you can see how they’ve healed up just enough to give him that hockey player look we like so much.

It took me a minute to figure out why I like Justin Faulk, then I realized that, while bearded, he strongly resembles the guy who plays Aramis on BBC’s The Musketeers. Aramis was always my favorite Musketeer, and it is my favorite book of all time.

gif from nhl-canes.tumblr.com

Right? This is a renaissance faire waiting to happen.

BBC America posted THIS but no Series 3 date. Bloody hell.

As Justin is only 23, he’s tried a number of styles in his search of what would look best on the NHL ASG red carpet.

I’m relaxed. No wait, I’m serious. Defensemen don’t relax.

They all more or less work for him, with the exception of his audition for the role of immediately-post My So Called Life Jordan Catalano Jared Leto. Everyone tried this bleached blond thing, no one succeeded. We were all young too – we just had the sense to do it before the internet.

For the record, Rayanne was a bitch.

Justin is on Twitter @justinfaulk27, with a banner photo that a) reminds you how many friends people have at 23 and b) promises shirtless boat selfies may not be out of the question.

Okay, I’m serious. No, wait. Models aren’t serious.

So, if you don’t already like Justin Faulk for histalent, you can like him because his hair and eyebrows will always look better than yours. It’s nice to know which battles you can’t win, right? And if that’s not enough, the guy folds his clothes.

You can be the spatial reasoning in this relationship.

Let a married person tell you: Marry someone who folds his clothes.

Now let a married person read that out loud to her husband.

My eyebrows get uneven too, friend.

I just realized the Canes play the Penguins tonight. Why am I out to sabotage my team with the power of Foxy Friday every time?! Last week it was Stamkos, who had 2A in Tampa’s win over Pittsburgh. Damn it, it’s too late now. Apologies in advance.

80’s lighting, 90’s hair

With 57 points, you could look at the Canes’ season as a half-full or half-empty situation. They’re next-to-last in the Metro Division and four spots back of a wild card berth. Or they are just four points out of a playoff spot with 30 games to go. It’s a jam up in the East and should be an exciting. sickening. panic-inducing run for the end of the regular season. Please let Foxy Friday bestow no powers on this one day.

Don’t ruin the magic, please. That is all natural.

Trust me, you won’t mind hearing this one twice.

Sharp Magazine wants men in Canada to have nice clothes and a classy lifestyle – or it wants to rub their faces in never having made the NHL. Either way, we win. In what I can only assume is an ode to 50 Shades of Gray, here are a rash of NHLers too good to be true. Not only are they attractive, wealthy and well-dressed, but based on these photos, they have feeeeeelings.

Patrice Bergeron gazes longingly from the bridge where he’s just let you drive off, in his favorite Porsche, to pursue your (other) dreams.

Foxy Friday – October 2010

Justin Faulk is really, really sorry that his hands are so big and his hair is so tousled.

Foxy Friday – overdue

Gabe Landeskog doesn’t want you to worry. He can afford another pair when he has to cut these pants off his calves.

Foxy Friday – October 2011

Claude Giroux feels his angsty, swarthy robber look is appropriate for stealing your heart. (Note: something already tried to climb his pants.)

Foxy Friday – January 2012

Jacob Trouba hopes you’re still into those vampire books everyone was reading.

Actually much cuter than photo suggests

Oliver Ekman-Larson intentionally left his battered paperback of Rainer Maria Rilke poems at your place last night.

Honestly, I had NO idea he looked like this.

Joe Pavelski had a tough day at his skyscraper investment bank. Can he interest you in a magnum of Moët to share?

Foxy Friday nod – May 2013

Roman Josi brought an extra blanket for stargazing from the deck of his yacht.

Foxy Friday – January 2013

I wish there were more of these! I don’t know if they’re from the current issue or an upcoming one, but I doubt the magazine has the centerfold you were hoping for.