What the inside of my brain looks like.

Kidding! Okay, not really. An in-goal wine rack? If you went inside my brain like Being John Malkovich, you’d find yourself climbing one of these. Somebody get the creator of this miracle a Nobel Prize.

Also, Cnada provided us with this, courtesy of the Vancouver Canucks:

#Canucks #DiceandIce #lipsyncbattle is @JimmyFallon worthy.https://t.co/hkouWK5O9B

— Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) February 24, 2016

Mamma mia. Lip sync battle is the greatest entertainment invention since the Puppy Bowl, and that’s even when Beyonce doesn’t show up. It’s also the highest art form I participate in daily. From my car.

Now, let’s be honest. I don’t know who any of these Canucks rookies are. And I am generally terrified of potential humiliation, so watching this was not easy! But I know all these songs and I must say, these guys nailed it.

It’s 5 O’Clock somewhere… in Canada. Because he’s 19.

Jake Virtanen did Alan Jackson’s “Chattahoochee” in a pair of pants that maybe fit him in high school. Good thing he didn’t pick a song with any booty-dropping or we’d have seen somebody’s Chattahoochee.

Ain’t nothing but a heartache.

Jared McCann (hi cutie!) went straight for our own hearts with some BSB. God, I love this song. It makes no sense – are they happy? Sad? They never want to hear us say we want it that way? But I thought they did want it that way?

Typical guys, with their mixed messages and wearing all-white in airports.

Canada’s Got, well… confidence is a talent, right?

Ben Hutton went all out with his choice of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl.” He was approximately a fetus when this song was released (okay, he was 4), but clearly this musical milestone resonates across the generations.

Admit it, you were worried at the start of Ben’s number. We were on the fast track to this for a hot second….

Vote for Pedro

Until this happened.

Come on Barbie, let’s go party.

Last, in the always-unfortunate slot after someone unbottons clothing, Sven Baertschi hit us with some Marvin Gaye. He doesn’t really know what the host is saying, or what the words are, or that he’s dressed like AJ McLean, so I assumed he’d be the one singing Backstreet Boys. Throw is some skating-ish dance moves and you’ve got yourself a fine performance, friend.

He’ll be there in a hurry.

There was no winner, though I think Sven had it in the bag with his turtleneck and chain. Did he confuse Marvin Gaye with The Lonely Island? I almost hope he did. I also hope more teams subject their players to forced participation for our amusement soon. Right after they give Chuck and I a good twenty minutes with that goal-sized wine rack.

So, in summary, you should vote for Canada. They’re the country of hockey-themed liquor cabinets and freestyle dancing by untrained white men. If that’s not the place for me and Chuck, then just leave us the wine.

Last night, Sid scored three very necessary goals to lead the Penguins to a 6-5 victory over Ottawa.

I won’t take credit for this particular scoring surge, but ask Lindsay if it might be the result of a conversation we had yesterday. I once ended the lockout, you know.

Hopefully this is a sign for the Pens, who currently hold the last EC wild card slot. The East is all jammed up: seven teams within two points, and all for third in the division.

Look at that goal differential . Holy Caps.

On Monday, Sid told press, “Our playoffs basically start now.” And he kinda smiled when he said it. [Video]

Somebody got a new hat.

While you were enjoying the Penguins goals and wondering WTAF they were doing between goals, I was practicing yoga with this Sid workout clip.

(Bless @Kiki5851 for finding this.)

Except I only managed Shavasana, where you lay on the floor looking dead while trying to compose yourself. I have elite skills.

Bonus feature.

Then, the Twitters told me that freshly-returned-from-injury Connor McDavid did this:

Well, shit. That is an amazing goal. Tell me again what you were doing in 1997, when he was born? My Home Ec class egg baby is older than Connor McDavid. (Haha, #TeamEggBaby it is!)

Alas, I saw no actual hockey AGAIN. I will be sending this post to the suggestion box at NHL TV – which probably does work, because obviously.

Foxy Friday: Liam O’Brien

Does this beard make my jawline look laser-cut?

Type “Liam O’Brien Capitals” into a Google search and one click gives you enough photos to fill a whole post.  (Er, don’t do that, because it’s exactly what I used here.)   It’s as if someone culled the best parts of former foxes and combined them to our exact specifications.  If you made me a Build-a-Bear for Christmas, this would be it.

• Tall? 6’1.
• Too young? Oh yeah. (He is 20 years old. I have sweaters older than this.)
• Obvious boyband potential? Is there ever.
• Beard? Check.
• GINGERBEARD? All the checks.
• He freaking wears #87 and is from Nova Scotia, people.

For the Maritimers

But the best thing about Liam isn’t on that list.  It’s in the feel-good, cry-at-the-end, Twizzler-straw-in-your-Coke, Disney sports movie plot that is his life right now.

Dressed to impress

Liam O’Brien was not drafted in June.  Not by any team, in any round. They all passed. While obviously they don’t have the same criteria as we do when selecting fantasy teams, I find this hard to believe.  But it does happen (Chris Kunitz, anyone?) and only once in a great while does it turn into something you read about months later in hockey press across North America.

Section 12, Part B says he must keep the beard.

When Liam got invited to Caps’ camps this fall, he came to play.  The new coach and management were so impressed that a month later, they signed O’Brien to a three-year rookie contract.  Not bad to hit $550,000/season with a stroke of the pen.  On October 9, the kid from Halifax made his NHL debut in Montreal, in front of as many family and friends as could make it.  The press?  They were all over it.  Did he do interviews in French?  Of course he did, because this post writes itself.

All I can think is “Je Suis une Pizza” from middle school French class

Three games later, Liam punctuated a scrum in San Jose by saying this to 6 foot, 8 inch John Scott:

Source: Japer’s Rink

French is great but Liam is fluent in our favorite language: sass.

On October 26 vs. Vancouver, Liam scored.  I fumbled the dish I was washing and ran back into the living room.  Joe B. and Locker confirmed what I thought I’d heard: Inside of a month, Liam O’Brien had 1) signed a contact, 2) made the NHL, 3) scored his first goal. If you’re not rooting for this guy, you’re doing it wrong.

Awkward puck hold, never thought to practice this.

Last week I got to meet Liam at a work event, and can attend he is this great in real life.  You can see (hopefully) a lot more of him throughout EPIX Presents Road To The NHL Winter Classic™, the series beginning December 16 that will follow the Caps and Hawks to the Winter Classic.  The best part?  You don’t need HBO to watch it!  You can stream it live from either team’s website, plus Epix.com, NHL.com, their Facebook pages or mobile apps.  That is Liam’s gingerbeard at home, at work, on the bus, at the gym… see, I told you think was custom-made for us.

Watch early, watch often

Follow Liam at @ob61, donate to Movember here.  And have a Happy Friday!

Gingerstache? Is that a thing?

Right now there are a plethora of former Terriers representing in the big show – Nick Bonino, Alex Chiasson, Kevin Shattenkirk, Colin Wilson, and this week’s Foxy Friday honoree, Charlie Coyle.

You can take the boy out of Boston, but you can’t take the Boston out of the boy.

The 21-year-old, 6’3″, 221 lbs forward is in his first full season with the Minnesota Wild.  The former first-round draft pick (28th overall in the 2010 Entry Draft) has only 10 points on the season and while he isn’t exactly tearin’ it up (yet), we had to give him the honor for this one simple and utterly adorable gesture.

Charlie Coyle is Santa. Santa Coyle.  Bringing joy to all the little boys and girls. And this blog.   His mom would be so proud.

Since Santa Coyle is in such a giving spirit, let’s see what else he has got for us in his bag of gifts.

• Excellent taste in Halloween costumes. Trading in the red suit for a flight suit is cool with us.

• Yoga. Triangle pose never looked so good.

from jonasbrodin.tumblr.com

• A little bit of that Tyler Seguin swagger we’ve been missing so much.

• Some very impressive goal scoring, like the one below and this beauty from Tuesday night.

#sickmitts

• Wicked good bubble hockey skills. (On a North Stars vs Wild version, no less. #irony)

• The Zach Parise Seal of Approval. If Zach likes you, then that means Moms like you.  Ergo, we like you.

• A name perfect for quoting one of our favorite movie lines.

What to learn all there is to know about Charlie?  Watch this.  It’s 23-minute, but worth watching for a glimpse into the life of a hockey stud.  Including more work outs and a family bbq.

Other Santa Coyle fact – his cousin is Tony Amonte.  Yes, THAT Tony Amonte.

You can follow Charlie on the twitter at @CharlieCoyle_3

Okay, so perhaps it is a bit premature to be saying that, but after what Tomas Hertl did last night, can you really blame us?

The San Jose Sharks rookie forward scored 4 goals (!) last night.  Each goal he scored was more impressive than the one before and his piece de resistance was this.

Salty.  Like the ocean.

Best thing about this goal?  You know that he’s totally been practicing that shot since he was a little kid.  He already had the hat trick going, so why not?  It’s not really like he had anything to lose at that point.   Your team is winning (in large part, thanks to you).  You’re streaking to the net alone.  You’re on a high like us after a case of Mexi-colas and Tim Horton’s Timbits.

If he misses, he gets made fun of mercilessly in the locker room as is want to happen when you’re a rookie.  Or he makes it and makes history.

The look on his face says it all.

“I can’t believe that ACTUALLY worked.”

He can’t stop smiling.  He won’t stop smiling.  Neither can we. [click here for smiley, happy, good-time post game interview]

With his performance last night, Herlt becomes the 4th youngest player in NHL history to score 4 goals in a game and the first to do so since 1988.

Just so you are aware, Tomas Hertl was born in 1993.

You know what we were doing in 1993?

We were in high school.

First, Hallsy plays the recorder like he did back in grade school.  Apparently, “The girls used to love it.”  Sure thing.  That is, any girl who knew that 15 years later you’d be sitting like that.

Ebs does a pretty decent magic trick, if you can get past the video frame “randomly” chosen by a perverted/brilliant female intern at YouTube who will always have a job here:

In case you can’t, he gives you not one but TWO suggestive eyebrow raises at the end.  That’s Canadian Sign Language for “Go back and watch it again.”

Molly Ringwald RNH manages to be both the most committed and least interested Oiler.  He’s wearing a headband for heaven’s sake!  It accentuates his eyebrows!  Give the kid a hall pass.

Standing also accentuates how skinny and bow-legged RNH is.  He should’ve been a cowboy.

Now you heard from Cabbie’s “To Do” list segment that Justin Schultz is looking for a girlfriend.  In case aaaaalllllll his points didn’t tell you, his talent is reminding you that he’s got really good hands.

The wide angle also reminds you he’s wearing brown shoes with a black shirt. But how do you feel about shaved heads?

Schultz, Yakupov and teammates shave heads in cancer fundraiser [video]

I think they look great!!

There are other Oilers on this team (Nonsense!), one of whom can actually,  HELLO!  Hi there American over six feet tall closing in on 30 years of age.  Have you met Chuck?  She likes California wines and ‘Firefly’ reruns.  Call her.

Corey Potter promptly puts himself in harm’s way to help a friend, in case his juggling didn’t convince you.  This Smid guy’s kinda cute too – what is going on up north?  Does Edmonton get a preview on new toys from Santa’s Workshop?

Last but not least, Hemsky and Jones are rock stars, complete with autotune. They’re just missing a piano key necktie.

You can enter the contest here – I’m guessing you have to be an Alberta resident, which pins all our hopes on Lindsay.  She won’t hesitate to ask for talent demonstrations in person.  Pack your salt shaker, babe.

There’s still one holdout, she’s over there.

The OKC Barons have won their last five games.  They’ve outscored their opponents 24 to 11.  Two of those games were against the Charlotte Checkers, who now lead the South Division by just two points.  The Barons are now second, and just four points off the AHL Western Conference Lead.

Lindsay texted me a shot of every page of this feature. She’s a hero.

In those five games:  Ebs has 5 goals, 5 assists and 5 points for Gryffindor since this mustache is really a thing.

RNH has 3 goals and 3 assists but you still have to look on an angle to see anything in the Movember department:

Hallsy has 1 goal and a whopping 10 assists.  It has not helped his mustache.

Although it is reflected a little in the glow of his recent award:

Barons defenseman Justin Schultz has 2 goals, 5 assists and some pretty decent facial hair going.

Photo by my birthday twin, @stat19!

Schultz  leads the Barons in overall points and even has a budding bromance with his roomate, RNH.  We are a little jealous!  They are thoughtful and sensitive and went to see Life of Pi together.  Pack him up when you head back to Edmonton, boys.

While Intern Jeff Skinner is not playing in Charlotte, he does not appreciate us rooting for their demise.  He came pretty close to swaying us with:

Shut up, this is awesome!

Not to be outdone, the Barons have a Star Wars Night (April 6) AND they have 80’s night on December 14.  In which none of these guys can play because they were born after 1990.  That’s how it works, right?  I’ll wear my slouch socks and you wear your side ponytail.

.gif by johnntavares.tumblr.com

 Uhh… .sorry.  What was I saying?

Oh yeah.  You can watch the Barons, or any other AHL game, live online at AHL TV.  Single games are $6.99 but honestly, at this point we should probably buy the whole season.

We’re running at like 50%, not able to post as much as we want and Intern Jeff Skinner is totally being a slacker.  He thinks he’s all hotshot with his new fancy contract.

We don’t care, Jeff.  You’re still our intern. Now fetch us some ice cold mexican coca colas!

Okay, now that he’s left the room, we have a confession to make.

We sort of feel bad for Jeff.  We’re making him work so hard this summer when he should be out enjoying his summer, just like Gabe Landeskog is.

Seriously. This kid is having the best summer ever.  And thanks to the wonder of the twitter, we all get to share it with him.

We love technology and hockey players who embrace it.

Here are some of our favorites….

Summer without hockey is really really hard, but Gabe the Babe is trying his hardest to cheer us up.

Thanks, buddy.

We’re feeling a much better now…

And although I’m a little disappointed with all the nasty play and dirty hits and the lack of respect that some players *coughraffitorres* have shown for their fellow players, there is something about this time of year that makes my heart just fill up with joy and excitement.

I love that I acutally have the opportunity to watch teams that I otherwise never get to see.  Like the Nashville Predators, for instance.

For years, I’ve been indifferent to them.  I didn’t hate them, nor did I love them.  They were just there.  Existing in a Western Conference world that I just never visited.

I respect Barry Trotz and his loyalty immensely.  I give props to the organization being patient and slowly building an organization and a team that can compete with the big dogs of the NHL.  I makes me happy to see that the fans in Nashville have embraced this team and the sport of hockey.

The Preds have made the playoffs 7 out of their 13 years of exsitance and last year, they even won their 1st ever playoffs series, defeating the Anaheim Ducks in the first round.  Also that season, they had 16 regular season sell-outs and 6 sell-outs during the playoffs.

Well played, Music City.

We love hockey almost as much as we love country music!

Well, last night, I had the chance to watch the Preds take on the Wings in game 3 of their series.  Although the Preds are seeded #4 to the Wings’ #5, you know this is going to be a tough series, but I’m really liking the Preds chances in this one.

Pekka Rinne is a freak of nature a la Zdeno Chara and should not be as atlethic and quick as he is.

He is 6’5″!  He’s a goalie! It boggles the mind.

So very tall.

Martin Erat is playing well.  Paul Gaustad and David Legwand are well over 50% in face-off wins.  Shea Weber and Ryan Suter are doing a great job of shutting down Zetterberg, Datsyuk and all the other offensive talent that the Wings have.  They are arguably one of the best defensive pairings in the NHL.  (Chara & Seidenberg are the best.  Sorry, I’m biased)

They have some great young players, especially Gabriel Bourque, who scored this beaut last night.

KNEE DROP. SNIPE.

It also helps that the Predators have two Boston University Terriers on their roster – Brandon Yip and Foxy Friday honoree, Colin Wilson. As a tried and true Terrier, my blood runs scarlet and white and seeing two very talented former college players from my alma mater get the chance to play in the NHL makes me appreciate this team even more.

So for the remainder of their playoff run, I’ll be rooting for the blue and gold, much to Gator’s dismay.  She’s already mad at me because of the Bruins/Caps series and now this one, too.

What can I say?  I’m digging the Predators.

Perhaps I’ll have to invest in NHL Center Ice next year, after all….

No, no. Thank YOU.

The WUYS crowd won’t be as excited as last season – including me, since I actively hate both of these teams.  But if anything can open my heart to the Rangers or Flyers, it’s 24/7.  Remember last year?  I was still trying to hate the Caps, exhausted from fighting my obvious fall from grace.  24/7 was the last nail in my Mike Green-shaped coffin.  And now look at us.

In 2010, the Pens and Caps storyline played great on TV – one team winning consistently and the other losing every game.  This year, the Rangers and Flyers are both playing really well.  The show should have a different flavor showcasing two teams at the top of their game.

Both teams have marquee players on the injury list, most specifically Philly whose Claude Giroux went down last week.  24/7’s inclusion of injured players, the recoveries and attempts to get back on the ice really rounded out the show.  I’m looking forward to that.

What do you guys think?  Excited?  Max Talbot was a star last year, he’s back this season will the Flyers.  Who will be the breakout personalities from this series, and will it be enough to make you care?  We promise you won’t be bored if you play the Yahoo! Puck Daddy 24/7 Drinking Game, 2011 Edition.

HBO show link is here for all your procrastinating pleasure.

But today, we decided to give him the day off.

Because when you work THIS hard, you deserve it.

Go Jeffy Go!

not looking at the hockey stick here.

Ovi crashed the Caps rookie camp yesterday and skated with the newbies! He sported the fashionable black jersey with his named slapped on the back and skated along with all the other young bucks.

For being slagged as not so hands on (I protest & wish!) and for supposedly not being in shape – so not so – he seemed to not only keep pace with the teenagers, and yes, I said teenagers, at 25, eh hem, soon to be 26 – VERY SOON – to be 26. That would make some of them almost half his age! OMG. He’s an old man in hockey years! Get the cane out ladies! Can you believe that?

The kids had a great first day at school and learned from the best. And a tale to tell years from now! My first day at rookie camp I got to skate with Ovechkin!

I’d be more like, my first day at rookie camp, I got to shower with Ovechkin and well it would be nothing like Pant’s dream and there would be no laughing involved. I hope you ate you lunch already Pants!

And just so you know ladies, he told everyone during his Bauer press conference, in case you missed it, HIS BODY IS PERFECT. So no worries about him being fat. And I have to agree. Not that I’m biased or anything.

FOXY FRIDAY: Tyler Seguin

On Monday, Tyler Seguin was just a baby caterpillar in his little cocoon.  On Tuesday, he emerged as a beauty butterfly with black and gold wings.

"I'm gonna unleash "Magnum" on you right...NOW!"

Seguin is this week’s Foxy Friday because he has left a #19-sized, werewolf-shaped stamp on the Bruins organization, its fans, and on the 2011 NHL Playoffs.

After not playing for the first two rounds of the playoffs, SeguinPenguin finally got the chance to show us why the Bruins selected him 1st overall in the 2010 Entry Draft.   The 6’1″ Brampton, Ontario native stepped up like Channing Tatum in that dance movie and put on a show in Tuesday’s Game 2 vs the Lightning.

In three career playoff games has 6 points (3 goals, 3 assists). Foxy.

He scored two goals and added two assists in the 2nd period of game 2, which tied an NHL record for points in a playoff period & made the rookie just the fourth Bruin to accomplish the feat.  Foxy…four times.

He’s displayed awesome speed and a youthful exuberance that is a joy to watch. Foxy.

He even looks good in a hideous 1970’s budget Bruins jacket. Foxy.

Clickity for Game 2 Presser

He makes an excellent iced coffee.  Foxy.

"Regulaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

He’s ab-tastic and armed and dangerous.  Foxy.

Pants does not approve of your name tattoo...but she does approve of your muscles.

Soaring to new heights...

He looks awesome in a suit AND a Red Sox jersey.  Foxy.

I swear my mom DIDN'T pick this out for me.

Apparently he is channeling “Teen Wolf” with his interesting choice of playoff facial hair.  Foxy?

Baby playoff beard...

The jury is still out on this one…but at least he doesn’t have Bieber Bangs…

The reason it has been a good day is very simple.

It is because of last night’s Bruins game and this guy…

The Ring-a-ding Kid

Tyler Seguin.

It is because of you that Bruins fans worldwide have that post-victory, dewy glow.  We have an extra pep in our step.  We smile easier.  Food tastes better.  Those emails from the office Dwight Schrute don’t seem as annoying anymore.

In other words, you make the world a better, happier place.

I think we all know who’s getting this week’s Foxy Friday honor….

TA-DAH!