Happy Hockey Season!

Check, one, two –  does this thing still work?



Hello friends! Hope you had a nice summer. I did – and my team did too, of course. Easy to get a tan with the sun reflecting off the Stanley Cup.


At least pretend it’s heavy, Kris.


And off the white hot glare of your Twitter account.


Cue total side meltdown re: Phil loves his dog.


Speaking of which…


Is a hockey jersey “business attire” if you’re a blogger?


This is down the street from my office. And you just might know someone who is there tomorrow. 🙂 That’s all I can disclose for fear of this being used against in court.

Updates, of course, if I evade prosecution. If you don’t hear from me, hopefully one of you is a lawyer and/or Canada will accept my request for asylum. (You know, before all the other Americans try to go there.)

It's okay, we'll take her off your hands.

It’s okay, B. We’ll take her off your hands.


So, are you guys excited? Nervous? Wondering who the hell is on your team these days? I am. And as ever, asking myself the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything:


Tested and proven.


USA Today accurately reports predicts the Penguins will win the President’s Trophy.

Semi-science is at least 50% more science that we usually use. LINK

Semi-science is at least 50% more science that we usually use. LINK


If that list holds, we’ll have to break up this lovefest in the first round. NHL 2016-17, already imaginarily testing my loyalties.

(Editor’s note: “Imaginarily” is not a word. Additional  note: We don’t have an Editor.)




ESPN featured Vegas odds last week that had the Hawks and Bolts atop the likely Cup winners. I like this because the Rangers, Flyers, and Bruins are all missing.


The Bolts improved considerably by doing… nothing.


Of course, pre-season predictions are almost never right. Even those based on actual analysis of talent and roster, matchups and Corsis nearly always miss. So far, I am doing pretty well by just picking the Penguins every year.


Blackhawks fans just laughed.


So I’ll do that again this year: look deep into my crystal ball (pint glass) and pretend I see glorious victory for my team shining brightly above a pile of broken, trampled enemies.

But until then, welcome back, hockey season.


Leave a Reply

  1. Rochelle Reply

    I can testify that Phil does indeed love his dog. I work at a pet shop and he comes in and buys stuff. I just saw him last week. I promptly used the intercom to call my coworker. As soon as he picked up I said, “It’s September 29 and Stanley Cup Champion Phil Kessel is in the store.” LOL

    • Pants Reply

      What kind of dog is it?! This is very important to me. I love dogs more than hockey.

      • Rochelle Reply

        He and the gf were in with a Pomeranian. I’ve heard he also has a Cockapoo.

  2. Cassy Reply



    Hockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockey….oh wait. I live in the U.K. 🙁

    *Wailing and gnashing of teeth*

  3. Cortland Reply

    Welcome back! I’ve missed you!! Go Pens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Jake Reply

    Welcome back, and thanks for cheering us all up. Poutine for everyone!

  5. Misty Reply

    Aaahhh welcome back!! Missed you guys!