Can We Panic Now?

Oh my God, a blog post.

I know. We have been everywhere except in front of our computers lately, or honestly in front of TVs watching hockey. Who vacations in the spring? Fools! I looked at my calendar and all of a sudden:

  1. It’s almost April.
  2. The Penguins have 9 games left.



It’s my own fault, except for the part that is the Penguins’ fault for losing 5 of 6 including one OT game. In March. I would have felt implosive rage except I was on the beach reading Eat, Pray, Love for the third time, so I trust you guys felt my share. Now, it’s time to…


Looking at the standings makes me want to barf. Trying to figure out who’s got in-conference games, games in hand, four-point games… someone hold my hair. I know it’s a selfish panic, because at least the Pens are currently in playoff standing. It could be worse.


I love Chuck, but man, I hate the Bruins so much and it’s every woman for herself down the stretch. I’m jumping over dead bodies like I need to beat a zombie to Terminus.

Note: The Bruins are not dead, but who the &$#@ thought Ottawa would win seven in a row? Sometimes, you just want to:


Anyway, I have my own problems, and they look like TWO MORE GAMES VS. THE FLYERS. That is high drama and TV ratings gold, but holy hell. My head might spin clean around. I can’t even comprehend the Rangers being first in the Metro – and by eight points! Islanders, you had one job!


That is not the job I’m talking about! GAH.

So here we go, down the stretch, with claws out and no mercy. Please let the Penguins pass the Isles, the Caps make the playoffs, the Rangers lose every remaining game, Crosby win the scoring race and Tavares need a hug afterward.

You guys with us?


Jeez, is anyone else hungry? I could stress-eat two who pizzas right now.

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Leave a Reply

  1. You had me at “Please let the Penguins pass the Isles” and locked it up with “Crosby win the scoring race”.

  2. Abbey Reply

    I’m going to cheerfully ignore the Bruins dig to disagree with you on Crosby winning the scoring race. I love him too, but it would be nice to see John Tavares get some more love from the league. Plus, if he wins the Art Ross, we get to see him in a nice suit and he’ll have to make a speech.

    • Pants Reply

      Abbey! I have considered this and hope that Tavares will get nominated for other things. Then he’ll wear a suit and write a speech, but not be sure he’ll have to give it. Extra nervous = extra cute. Everybody wins (but mostly us). Right?

      • Abbey Reply

        Hmmmmm as long as he wins something I think I can agree to this. Can’t have that nice suit go to waste.

  3. Tracey Reply

    I’d help you with the pizzas, but I just finished the chocolate ice cream…and the Grand Marnier. Pens aren’t on in my area, and maybe it’s better for my nerves. 😉

  4. Sorry, totally NOT with you on the “Rangers lose every remaining game” part. How can you not love Cam Talbot? Can he get some Foxy Friday love? I’m happy to help. 🙂

    • Have to get on the Foxy Friday for Cam bandwagon, here. The man has done an OUTSTANDING job & deserves all the respect in the world for getting the job done in a notoriously tough NYC market!!! Also VERY happy to see that Hank is feeling better & will be back soon.

  5. Karyn Reply

    You think you have stress? Try being a Flames fan who just bought playoffs tickets for the first time ever.

  6. Cassy Reply

    Hate. Hatehatehatehatehate. This will. Not. Improve. My. Mental. Health.

    You may well find Chuck and I passed out under her desk, surrounded by empty Mexicola and those little bottles of spirits from hotel mini bars (ditto).

    I had to get a new night guard for my teeth because of the gnashing.

  7. Fatema Reply

    Chicago is losing also OMG poor Boston screw you Ottawa!!

  8. Kate Reply

    To quote Jean Ralphio, this end of the season stuff is the WOOOOOOOOORST. I just look at the standings and cringe and panic, knowing that it’s not going to get easier. Because next is the stress-ball that is the playoffs and then potential elimination (and I don’t want to be a naysayer but the Pens in the playoffs just makes me feel ill with worry.) And then it’s the off-season and I’m stuck watching baseball instead.

  9. Erin Michelle Reply

    I love this post. I am right there with you on the pizzas and am so nervous for the two Pens vs. Flyers games it is not funny. They cannot afford (literally cannot afford) to lose any (more) players – especially defensemen. GAH!