47 feet of snow on the ground. People jumping off their roofs into snow banks. Wind chills of -20F.
While I suffer through this historic Boston winter, I got a little something to warm me (and you) up.
(full disclosure: I am writing this post after a copious amount of sake. I am not responsible for my actions. #BuzzedBloggin)
Foxy Friday: Tristan Harper
Remember that movie Weird Science? Well if Pants and I starred in the Hollywood remake, this might be the perfect boy we’d create.
Tristan Harper is a hockey player for the Braehead Clan in Glasgow, Scotland of the EIHL. I didn’t even know they played hockey in Scotland.
But I do now.
I’ve been to Scotland. Had I know they had men like this that also played hockey – I never would have come back. I would have sold everything I own, purchased a Scottish hockey club (and a sheepdog), and live happily ever after.
My morning meetings would consist of tea and jammie dodgers and player development meetings would be beard grooming lessons and highland games.
He’s a NHL-worth 6’2″, with a beard that proves that a well-groomed can increase a man’s hotness power ranking exponentially.
His beard – it’s impeccable. Never did I imagine that a beard would exists that could compete with the best but it seems that Zetterbeard may have some serious competition for my pogonophilic admiration.
Oh and his name is Tristan. You remember the first time that you fell in love with a Tristan?
While my new love isn’t exactly tearing it up in the points department (6 pts in 45 games), he does have 62 PIM and his team is in 1st play in the league, so he’s got that going for him.
Also going for him – this.
Oh and let’s not forget this…
I will warn you though – his IG feed does cause side effects – heart palpitations, swooning and/or fainting, dizziness, lightheadedness, the “feels”, the “schwings”, ovarian aches, or Lady Gaga YAAAASSSSSing. Verklepmtion lasting longer than four hours required immediate medical attention.
And if you didn’t think beards make any guy hotter, check this.
(Thanks to the multiple people who brought this man to my attention. You know my type and you are true gems of humanity.)
Tags: BeardWatch2015, Braehead Clan, Scotland, Tristan Harper