Vanilla Ice

With no warning, as I strolled through Whole Foods, I saw this on my phone:


Cat got your caption?

You better believe I thought I’d shuffled off this mortal coil, right there in front of the bulk lentils.  I wondered how, in the distant future, when my husband met me in the afterlife I would explain that picture of Jonathan Toews that had done me in all those decades ago.

Alas, this is real.  Congratulations to us – no way we earned it, but we accept.


My thoughts, in order, as the Jonathan Toews ALS Ice Bucket Challenge video came into my life:

This is because of that time I said Kane had become more attractive, isn’t it?



I didn’t mean that.
Really, it was crazy talk.



What kind of shorts are those?
Is he just surfing now?  How long can momentum last?  Oh the boat’s slowing down. This should be a science program.



Jon use to be boring and serious.  Now look.  Can we expect this from John Tavares in the future and exactly when will this occur because the calibrations on my time machine must be exact.
He’s got tan lines for these shorts.  He’s been wearing them all summer.



I wish this were in hi-res.  Probably better it’s not though.  I’m barely over Benedict Cumberbatch’s “Ice Bucket in the Shower” video.
Am I still in the supermarket?  All these people are looking at me.  It’s only been 45 seconds.  They must think I’m comparing all these beans.


’bout that base

Is it over?  Don’t be over.
No, you keep the bucket.



One last shot.  The Blackhawks were right with Jon’s contract: he’s a 10.5



Wow.  I finally figured out what to tell my husband when we meet at the Pearly Gates. Remember when Rant Sports ranked 15 Pro Athletes Who Would Steal Your Girlfriend in a Heartbeat?

Toews is #1.  Told ya so.

Reminder: If you can, please donate to ALS research at  This campaign has raised a huge amount of money, but it’s important to remember that it’s not just about wakeboarding and hot pants.  Real people are benefiting from all this attention.


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  1. I was in hour 11 of a cross-country drive when this was posted to my wall – total rejuvenation for the final hours. 😉

  2. Applause for being a lady and not screen grabbing the grab. My brain can’t handle it for more than a fleeting second at a time.

    Also when he flings the rope, he metaphorically flinging all of our undergarments. Because let’s be honest.

  3. That Salt n Peppa song….just over and over again in my mind. As I replay this video before it breaks the Internet. Bless you, bucket challenge.

  4. I swear those are the same shorts i wear for volleyball.

  5. Kate Reply

    When I saw the screenshot on my facebook feed, I yelled “OH MY GOD!” and threw my phone across the couch. I do not think I’ve regained the ability to speak. Or think, actually. I’m about to fangirl flail on tumblr about the things the hips are doing in this video. My god, the hips. And the thighs.

    Also, thank you for writing about this in my hour of need. I was thinking “I can’t process this! Does WUYS know!? What are they saying!?!?!?” and there you were.

  6. carter Reply

    My response to the friend who texted this to me: Who is this guy and what did he do with Jonathan Toews???

    • Oh Carter… I knew all along 😉

  7. NY Girl Reply

    Balance. Skill. Muscles. All in a 50 second video. Still waiting to see Hemrique though. Hear he was one of the first to do one and posted on his FB. Can’t find it anywhere.

  8. Rae Reply

    I really wasn’t a fan of the Ice Bucket challenge…until now. And can we get a best supporting actor nominstion for those shorts?

  9. SusanL Reply

    It was The Tan Lines that did me in.

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