Every summer, the Blackhawks rub our faces in their excellence and team spirit by hosting yet another Blackhawks Convention. Sometimes they bring the Cup for extra envy-inducing purposes, but not even the Hawks can win that thing every year. So how do they make sure everyone gets their money’s worth?
Dancing.It’s safe to say the Jonathan Toews Personality Deployment Project has been a rousing success. He dances, people! Imagine if your captain got up on stage and did an almost-moonwalk with a grand finale of gun-fingers?
(If you’re a Lightning fan, this is easy. Stamkos would bust out a perfect Step Up dance routine [circa Channing Tatum, of course], complete with his shirt either open or off. For the rest of us, well… maybe “hands in pockets” will become to new dance craze.)
At least Sid caved to the selfie pressure first.
There were myriad other highlights of the BHC2014, not the least of which was Brad Richards sitting alongside the dancing like that really uncomfortable lady with the rowdy friends in the front row at Thunder From Down Under, judging the distance between herself and the nearest emergency exit. He’s thinking, “Remember that time I made $12 million a season and did’t dance? Not for $2 million, new friends.”
While we didn’t attend BHC2014, I think we’re ready to make a bold statement based on thirty minutes of Tumblr research: this is the summer that Patrick Kane officially became more attractive than Jonathan Toews.
Am I wrong? Since Kaner started cleaning up his act (not too much, please) and keeping his hair under control, not to mention wearing the heck out of a golf shirt, Toews has been running to catch up. Oh he’s fun now! Jokes about his grumpiness, couples Halloween costumes: Jon has really made an effort. There are matching contracts, his-and-his Conn Smythe trophies, but is it too little too late? Watch the dance video again. When it comes to the inevitable Zoolander-style Walk Off, who is your money on?
Meanwhile, can we get said walk-off confirmed for next year’s BHC agenda? And when do tickets go on sale?Tags: Chicago Blackhawks, jonathan toews, patrick kane