BHC2014: Just Dance

Every summer, the Blackhawks rub our faces in their excellence and team spirit by hosting yet another Blackhawks Convention.  Sometimes they bring the Cup for extra envy-inducing purposes, but not even the Hawks can win that thing every year.  So how do they make sure everyone gets their money’s worth?



Toews/Kane Dance Off 2014 [video]

It’s safe to say the Jonathan Toews Personality Deployment Project has been a rousing success.  He dances, people!  Imagine if your captain got up on stage and did an almost-moonwalk with a grand finale of gun-fingers?


Shooter McGavin.

(If you’re a Lightning fan, this is easy.  Stamkos would bust out a perfect Step Up dance routine [circa Channing Tatum, of course], complete with his shirt either open or off.  For the rest of us, well… maybe “hands in pockets” will become to new dance craze.)

At least Sid caved to the selfie pressure first.


Pretty good for a rookie.

There were myriad other highlights of the BHC2014, not the least of which was Brad Richards sitting alongside the dancing like that really uncomfortable lady with the rowdy friends in the front row at Thunder From Down Under, judging the distance between herself and the nearest emergency exit.  He’s thinking, “Remember that time I made $12 million a season and did’t dance?  Not for $2 million, new friends.”

What kind of place is this?

There’s a cap on this empty bottle, isn’t there?

While we didn’t attend BHC2014, I think we’re ready to make a bold statement based on thirty minutes of Tumblr research: this is the summer that Patrick Kane officially became more attractive than Jonathan Toews.

CTFL ct-spt-0720-hawks-jkon_06.JPG

Say that again, into this mircophone.

Am I wrong?  Since Kaner started cleaning up his act (not too much, please) and keeping his hair under control, not to mention wearing the heck out of a golf shirt, Toews has been running to catch up.  Oh he’s fun now!  Jokes about his grumpiness, couples Halloween costumes: Jon has really made an effort.  There are matching contracts, his-and-his Conn Smythe trophies, but is it too little too late?  Watch the dance video again.  When it comes to the inevitable Zoolander-style Walk Off, who is your money on?


What did she say? All I hear is that cash register sound.

Meanwhile, can we get said walk-off confirmed for next year’s BHC agenda?  And when do tickets go on sale?

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  1. My favourite thing about this post. EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, ERRRRRRRYTHING. #hockeycomeback

  2. So sad not to be there. I had to watch on my laptop like all the other peasants.

  3. Kate Reply

    Yes! A walk-off! I want costumes, I want a light show, I want back up dancers. Can we get the Kane sisters to contribute to the cause?

    I’m not really a Kane girl, but I’m with you. I mean, his confident, smiley, measured walk over to Toews before the shuffle? That just about killed me. The polo is just a bonus.

  4. Holy crap.

    1. How do I get Steven Stamkos to come to my wedding? I will get engaged right damn now. To anyone. Surely there is one single guy in my office of 400 people.

    2. That gif of Richie is making it hurt a tiny bit less that he’s no longer in blue. Thank you.

    3. That final gif of JT & PK is the most hilarious/adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Just when you think those two can’t get more nauseatingly endearing, something like this surfaces.

  5. carter Reply

    I was going to be all, “oh no, and Jessica will agree with me, Kane will never be more attractive than Toews” and then I watched that video and changed my mine – they both are equally awkward (read: perfect).

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