Sunshine and Tan Lines

I never imagined I’d thank the Rangers for anything, but the day has come.


Need help with that sunscreen?

Reminder: Chris Kreider went to BC.  See also: I hate myself.

The Rangers took to the beach in Venice to shake off their Game 1 OT loss and work on their tans.  Pale guys with beards – that’s what playoff hockey is all about.


I thought this was Mike Richards for a second.

I hope at least one guy visited the $5 psychic who told me my entire, very specific future on this boardwalk.  So far, she’s been freakishly right about a lot of things.


She must have given Girardi bad news.

I also hope everyone was wearing buckets of SPF 50.  Remember when Malkin had to sit out a Pens game due to “upper body injury” after an off-day in Florida?  You don’t want to be peeling during the pre-game skate.


Derek Dorsett’s first day out, but Pouliot looks mid-July already.

Chris Krieder-inspired self-loathing aside, the best part of these photos is the conversation I imagined between Brian and Marc:


(Foreshawdowing – note the knee-length shorts.)

Boyle: Was that…?

Ginger Staal: Yes.

Boyle: Was he…?

Ginger Staal: Yup.

As Mats Zuccarello rides by…


Maximum tan surface area

In North American fashion, a guy would wear these shorts under other shorts.  Not so in Europe.  As the first Norwegian to play in a Stanley Cup Final, Zuccarello owns this look – which would get him sent home from Catholic school because his shorts don’t reach his extended fingertips.

Hey, it’s LA.  If you’ve got it, flaunt it.  I can see the US Weekly cover photo and headline: Zach Galifianakis shows off amazing new beach bod!

Thanks to Pam (@sunnyinnj) for sending these over.  She loves trying to make me like guys I think I hate.


Leave a Reply

  1. Robyn Sparkles Reply

    Skies out, thighs out! WOO

  2. Casey Reply

    need to remind myself – I also loathe the Rangers… I think this is their way of trying to get us all to love them… I am happy to help apply spf 50 – lord knows I own and use that. Aveeno has lotion sunscreen, so it doesn’t smell like you’re wearing sunscreen.. maybe I should go to LA and help them…. ? NO. BAD. Casey.

  3. I, too, loathe the Rangers. Since that fateful game 7 in April I’ve been taunted by diehard and bandwagon Rags fans alike. Unfortunately, living in my region of the country leaves me susceptible to many Rangers updates, further fueling the fires of hate… But this was too good to pass up. Zucs in those shorts… good lord. Kreider is probably at the top of my list of players I loathe, but I have to admit, he has it going on. Thank God Ginger Staal has on a tee!

  4. This is just glorious. I love everything about this. Except that there aren’t photos of the entire team.

  5. Alex Reply

    As a BU alum, I should loathe Krieder, but he’s such a goober… There’s something so adorable about these pictures.

  6. Miabi Reply

    Thank you! What an awesome way to start the day and not at all what I was expecting… who’s that in the yankees hat, anyone recognize? I can’t believe I can’t figure it out but they are turning in foxy clones with those beards. Is Mats really the first Norwegian to play in the Final???? That’s wild.

    • Beth Reply

      Brassard is in the Yankee hat

  7. hockeygal67 Reply

    That’s not Girardi, that’s John Moore. 🙂

  8. hotstovebb Reply

    I’m pretty sure the guy in the Yankees hat is Brassard.

    • Miabi Reply

      Why thank you!

    • Miabi Reply

      Love that collection at the Daily News! Lundqvist’s thigh is (of course) incredible, Kreider’s beach tote is adorable, and I had no idea Pouliot had such a lovely half sleeve tattoo!

      • Beth Reply

        I think all teams should be required to have a beach day so we can learn who has hidden ink.

  9. Merideth Leigh Reply

    I work in a frame shop. Now every time I see the word ‘Mats’ I think of Zuccarello & his Little Red Riding Shorts. Thanks? I think…

  10. Farah Reply

    Damn Zucc. Those shorts are rugby short.