Foxy Friday: US vs. Canada

It has all come down to this.

We didn’t pick the teams.  We wouldn’t have put them head-to-head until the gold medal game but let’s be honest, we can’t handle that.  We can’t even handle today.  Before we close our office doors and pretend to be throwing things and shrieking for work, let’s face off WUYS-style one last time.


Foxy Friday: Team USA vs. Team Canada 

You be the judge.

Team USA Goalies:

us goal

Quick, Howard, Miller

Team Canada goalies:

canada goal

Price, Smith, Luongo

I think this frame is really Carey Price vs. the world, but perhaps you’re into over-long hair and disagree.

Team USA defense:

USA Hockey 2014 Olympic Portraits

Faulk, Fowler, Carlson, Martin

I tried to help everyone out by picking photos of Justin Faulk and John Carlson that mitigate their fondness for 80’s metal hair.

us defense 2

Orpik, Shattenkirk, Suter, McDonagh

I even cropped a puppy out of Ryan McDonagh’s photo because that’s cheating.

Team Canada defense:

canada defense

Bouwmeester, Doughty, Hamhuis, Keith

I’d have gone wtih four pics of Donuts (for each of his goals), but who knew Dan Hamhuis looked like that?

canada defense 2

Pietrangelo, Subban, Weber, Vlasic

We hear Shea Weber is good at ping pong.  Invite him to that summertime charity tournament, right?  He can bring his short, stocky partner.

Team USA forwards (Part 1):

us f2

Pacioretty, Kessel, Oshie, Kesler

It’s not easy to find a viable photo of Phil Kessel.  Never have our makeover skills been so sorely needed!  Shine on, TJ Oshie, and hit him with your light.

us f4

Van Riemsdyk, Wheeler, Pavelski (See, Chuck!)

Also, Blake Wheeler coming through with some unexpected skill in this round.

Team Canada forwards (Part 1):

canada f3

Sharp, Nash, Perry

Is any competition fair when Patrick Sharp competes?  His hair could win this on its own.

canada f2

Geztlaf, Duchene, Kunitz, Marleau

Speaking of hair, I used the Ryan Getzlaf Time Machine here.  It had to be done.  Balance it against choosing a photo where Jimmy Howard doesn’t have crazy eyes – I tried to put the pretty filter on everyone.

Final round now, who’s going home a winner?  I saved the best for last.

Team USA forwards (Part 2):

us f1

Backes, Brown, Callahan, Kane

A half-smile is all Patrick Kane is allowed, like a handicap in golf.  Otherwise he wins every category, carrying Team USA to indisputable, upstate NY victory.

us f3

Stepan, Parise, Stastny

Paul Stastny going for the humor vote, because I could not find another decent photo.  Come on Colorado, get on it.

Team Canada forwards (Round 2):

canada f1

Crosby, Benn, Carter, Bergeron

I don’t know who can withstand this.  Even Bergy’s giving you that look like he knows what you’re thinking about Crosby.


St. Louis, Toews, Tavares (weeeeeeep)

Then the JTs.  Sympathy points for Tavares are acceptable, but I’d rather have bonus points for seeing those glasses again.

Final Score…

You tell us: Which country has the foxiest Olympic squad?  Is it really a contest if you win either way?  We’re gonna need a bigger podium.

*Updated with names, for anyone who doesn’t spend all their free hockey blogging.


Leave a Reply

  1. bull girl Reply

    So. Many. Better pix of Paulie. SOOOO MANY!!! Omg ladies!!! Paulie with turkeys!! Paulie with little girls! Paulie with glasses!!! Paulie being a dork with his BFF Nealer (whose pic oughta be on Team Canada, let’s face it) SO. MANY. BETTER PIX OF PAULIE!!! Sigh.

    • Pants Reply

      I think Paul Martin looks really good in that picture.

      • bull girl Reply

        Just not totally gigil. Sigh. Which he really is. In that “hey, you can overlook me if you want to… I’ll be subtly here in the back making eggs and shutting down every shot you can possibly make” kinda way. #paulie

      • I think Paul Martin looks good in all the pictures.

        Wait . . . what?

  2. I was so devastated after yesterday’s women’s game that I went home, snuggled with cats & dogs, took a Xanax and went to bed at 9:30.

    The boys of Team USA will avenge us today! I have touched up my stars and stripes nail art and will try not to yell profanity in the office like yesterday.

  3. Jenn Reply

    Can you list names please? I need to know who to stalk now for the ones I don’t recognize …

    • Jenn Reply

      Oh – and GO USA!!!!

    • Pants Reply

      As you wish.

        • Pants Reply

          After I go to the trouble of spelling JVR’s whole name… !

          • That’s more effort than the US men put in today… *dejected sigh*

      • Jenn Reply

        Thanks!!!! Love Foxy Friday. And the rest of the posts. But mostly Foxy Friday.

  4. Casey Reply

    BAH TODAY at 12pm IS ALL I’M THINKING ABOUT!!!! AHHH!!! I even brought my ipad to work, so I won’t be using my office computer to listen/watch. I work on the finance floor, where it is typically quiet – I’ve already warned my coworkers to expect random shrieks, sobs, and shouts coming from my office. I have even offered to shut my door, so they’re not as obnoxious…

    All I can say is… USA, USA, USA! After yesterday’s heartbreaking women’s loss, we need this.

    Also, I can’t even look at the Canadien team – so much foxiness it breaks my heart that they’re the enemy, today. Also, I live sort of close to Toronto – I volunteer to kidnap Kessel and start this makeover that needs to ensue, pronto.


  5. Victoria Reply

    Team Canada when it comes to looks. Carter, Price, Crosby, Sharp, Toews, Weber… It’s an embarrassment of hotness. Now I can only pray it melts the ice causing the Americans to somehow score on their own net. Go Canada Go!

  6. Pants Reply

    Side note: ZERO idea Max Pacioretty was American. Not a clue.

    • Snow Reply

      It pains me that Max Pacioretty is American. Because I depise him as a member of the Canadiens (which, of course, means he’s doing his job) and now am obligated to root for him. The Olympics are weird like that.

  7. Missy Reply

    Even Kaner’s half smile could win the competition for the US squad but Canada has pure stud powers!

  8. I love how you referred to Blake Wheeler as having “skill” in that round. Deb and I often use “talent” when referring to players of an elevated score in the looks category when in public . This confuses many a man around us when said players trip over their own feet and board themselves promptly. I don’t know about today. My hopes for this Olympics were that the US medals and Canada doesn’t win gold. That simple. It’s scary to think the fate of the US hockey team could greatly be in the hands of the saddest panda to ever live. Kudos for finding a picture of Phil that almost looks human!

  9. Obvious nationalistic and treasonous hyperventilatory fangirl squeeing aside (because 100% of Canadians CAN’T EVEN right now*), even totally bald Getzlaf gets full points because of that tallness and that FAAAAACE. Hashtag bonestructureforDAYZ.

    *official stat

  10. In the interest of mixing it up (and since they won today), Team Sweden is SERIOUSLY foxy. They might actually be the overall winners.

    • Too right on that one! Sweden’s got the goods in oh, so many ways…

  11. The goalie fight really comes down to Miller vs. Price… tie game.
    The D battle is tight, but personal preference gives iCarly lots of extra points, so USA wins.
    The forwards… I mean come on. Patches, Oshie, Kessler, Wheeler, Backes, Kane, Parise… ‘Merica.

    USA all the way, every day. I will fight my Canadian relatives to the death on matters of hotness and hockey prowess. GO USA!

  12. I think it’s clear, just like with the game today, that Canada comes out on top.

  13. Kierstan Reply

    I was so depressed at work today after the game. So hard to get through the rest of the day. Then I saw this post and all the eye candy. Oh Canada. Can Jamie Benn have his own Foxy Friday, please? I would love y’all forever!

  14. I love bald getzy. Gorgeous! I have a soft spot for Orpik and Kesler, but I cannot betray my country. Canada’s got it goin on for years. Good thing Neal and Seguin didn’t make it! It’d be game over..,maybe even for Sweden!

  15. Patrick Sharp. Oh, sorry, Canada!

    • But please… don’t do this with team Sweden. PLEASE. I can’t handle.

  16. Lauren H Reply

    Much as I love me some Bergeron at all times, one cannot deny the sheer force of nature that is Monsieur St. Louis (and in a suit, no less). God bless the Winter Olympics!

  17. Samantha Reply

    Another great Foxy Friday. I found it on Monday and it helped ease the pain of the last 72 hours (and, I can love Perfect Patrice again).

  18. TT Reply

    Love team Canada!!
    I don’t understand your Shea Weber comment; who is his short, stocky partner? Do you mean Josi?

  19. Bibi Reply

    I hope I am not too late on chiming in this conversation, or this site 🙂 My home team is Sweden but I just couldn’t stay mad at Canada when Sharpie and Bergy are on the team! And then there’s Hamhuis, who is absolutely adorable in a full on Winnie the Pooh costume! And now thanks to your latest post I too am a Jamie Benn fan!