It’s Penguins opening night!! Also, there’s something seriously wrong with me. Not five seconds into this video and I have the gasping laughtears. I keep pausing it to cackle.
Cabbie Presents on TSN: with Sidney Crosby (Skip to 39 min mark)
Sid just got an iPhone. Before that he had a flip phone. I bet he’s like my mom when it rings – total panic attack. Once she picked up it and threw it, as if it were a bomb about to explode.
Cabbie gets closest to asking some of the questions we’d like asked. Important, informative topics of discussion like texting and autocorrect.
Left out question: “My fingers often seem too fat for texting. How do you ever type anything?”
Cabbie makes up for that by asking about Sid’s driver’s license photo. Brilliant, right? Then Sid reaches into his pocket.
His wallet is in his front pocket. Even custom made, he can’t get anything but that ass into those pants. He can barely get the wallet out. This explains a lot about his hands not fitting.
Sid thinks it looks like he has a mullet.
I WISH. YOU TEASE. Only Crosby would think this is not a great photo. The rest of our licenses look like mug shots from The Best of Dog, The Bounty Hunter and he’s all, “Well, see that shadow by my neck….”
Now, for selfies and fan photos. Sid is too nice to say, ‘STAY BACK FIVE FEET’ like he’s a fire truck. He just does the awkward squirm at the mention of anyone getting too close.
And tries to nicely talk his way out of it while giving “please help me” eyes to someone off camera.
Cabbie doesn’t care. That’s why we love him. Selfies are taken and we all learn to not ask for one if we ever meet Sid.
Speaking of photos, I couldn’t do justice to James Neal’s sleeve tattoo from my phone the other day. It’s clearly the full arm in outline. Previously I’d been hoping for a weird trick of light + arm hair. I must really not like tattoos to be hoping he had this much arm hair.
The Penguins were at West Point last week for team bonding, communing with nature and handling artillery.
Shoulder-mounted RPG. Big smile!
James has an “upper body injury” (it’s not the tattoo) and is listed as day-to-day. No word yet if we’ll see him in tonight’s home opener.
Nisky draws a map to the nearest place to buy hair product.
Beau Bennett upstages the sleeve doing “nervous middle school face” while holding a sniper rifle.
And Nealer playing football in bare feet. Right before the season starts. Take it from a girl who broke her toe riding a bike in flip-flops, James. Safety first. At least this isn’t how he hurt his upper body.
Tags: cabbie, james neal, Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby