On Pants

I can’t dedicate the required time to Team Canada without taking it as a paid job, but I can spend three minutes on this.

Remember the show Lost?  All that time on a deserted island, living off leaves and opening random hatches while everyone’s eyebrows stayed plucked?  The magic of television is everywhere, folks.

Don’t be fooled into thinking people just look this good without help.


And so, a memo that anyone named Pants is qualified to write.

From: The Bachelorette Wardrobe Department
Re: John Tavares’ Pants

Option 1: Yes


Option 2: Yes.  A thousand times, yes.

pants2Greatest Instagram ever: instagram.com/CBCOlympics

Option 3: No


We are collectively obsessed with a guy who insists on tucking his polo into his khakis.  With a belt.  The other outfits above were provided to him, but this one John brought from home.


Oh God, they’re getting closer.


Corey Perry, thinking what we’re thinking.


Goodbye bad boys and high heels and sneaking in after curfew.  Goodbye youth.  Hello mortgage payments, 401ks and sensible footwear decisions.  That sound you hear is a demographic closing behind you.

(You know… watch that middle .gif a few times and it’s really not so bad.)


Leave a Reply

  1. “Goodbye bad boys and high heels and sneaking in after curfew.” <– I'm sorry, not with Steven Stamkos looking LIKE THAT coming down the escalator???

    John's so responsible that he carries his cell phone in his front pocket. I like it. You and your tight pants, Tavares.

    • Pants Reply

      “John’s so responsible that he carries his cell phone in his front pocket.” There goes the juice I was drinking.

      I didn’t even see Steven the first time, so distracted was I by middle-aged man style.

    • I am 100% with Lindsay on this one. Who can concentrate on JT’s pants with Stammer in that shirt??

      • WAIT – another theory as I ponder these gifs for the kajillionth…er third time. It looks like Steven also carries his phone in his front pocket too. Could it be because the hockey player ass precludes one from tucking the phone in the back pocket?

        A study might be needed for more thorough research. I VOLUNTEER.

  2. Alison Reply

    John with his carry-on wheely suitcase at the airport looks exactly like my dad when he goes on a business trip. (Oh god, it all just started to make sense.)

    Meanwhile, Corey and his backpack are judging you.

  3. Amy Reply

    Why does Patrice wearing a polo look so hot; but Johnny T looks like he’s showing off his science teacher/asst. coach first day of school outfit?

    • Amanda Reply

      Seriously, I was so distracted by Patrice coming down the escalator, I completely forgot to notice John and his khakis. For longer than I care to admit.

  4. Tiffany Reply

    The man in the orange vest is so proud to be in the company of another front-pocket-cell-phone-slanging adult.

  5. jana Reply

    I’ll fall for a preppy boy every time.

  6. Lauren Reply

    I kept watching the last one like all of a sudden it was going to show more of Patrice and his awesomeness. I admit, i never fully appreciated Stamkos until this shirt, I mean, shot.

  7. The tuck-and-belt makes him look even more like Hot Teacher.

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