You Oughta Know

Battle of the Blog: Game One

Since Chuck and I are not talking, I have no idea if she’s planning to write this same post today.  You guys can tell me later.


So, Saturday night was exciting, yes?  Too exciting.  Run-and-gun hockey is fun to watch only if:

  • the puck goes in the net.
  • it’s some other team I don’t care about.

Otherwise it’s so exhausting that I need Gatorade and a sports bra just to spectate.


The Pens and Bruins couldn’t keep that pace up either, but they wanted to make sure we weren’t bored.  Or should I say “board?”  I don’t usually criticize officials because in real-time, those calls are hard to make.  It’s like yelling, “I DON’T LIKE THAT!” after someone obviously did something wrong.  But assigning punishment for those penalties needs to be consistent.  If you did the crime, you do the time.  Or not.

Matt Cooke boarded Adam McQuiad, got a major and a  game misconduct (not suspended for tonight).


Brad Marchand boarded James Neal, got a minor and a high five.


The difference is what?  I don’t even care that McQuaid sees Cooke coming, while Neal doesn’t see Marchand, which technically make’s Marchand’s hit worse.  Both hits were ugly and both should have been penalized equally.

Also I should stay off Twitter to prevent future ragestrokes about “Matt Cooke is so dirty” comments from people who say nothing at all about Marchand doing the exact same thing.  I won’t defend Cooke’s hit – it was bad and I’m sick of him doing stupid things.  We all know his history, especially when it comes to the Bruins.  But call for one crucifixion and you better call for them all or your argument is invalid.

amy p

The Penguins apparently felt the same way, except they’re on the ice where they need to continue playing, not in my living room throwing couch cushions and pizza.  So Malkin fought Bergeron, Crosby shoved Rask and then got into the best shouting match ever with Zdeno Chara.  I tend to laugh when I’m nervous, so imagine what I sounded like watching this go down.


“Dear Sid,” she thought, her panicky giggle sounding a lot like his own high-pitched laugh. “I appreciate what that you’re not afraid of the Charasaurus and you’re going to stick up for your team, but please be cool.  Also, don’t die.  Malkin just left and we kinda need you.”

crosby 0% brains, sometimes.

The Penguins did what they do best in times of adversity – get all ruffled and spaz out.  You (should) know better, guys!  It’s the perfect game plan and well done, Bruins.

Pittsburgh needs to get their emotions under control, almost as much as their setup in the defensive zone.  Stop doing this:




Then we can go back to:


Okay?  Good plan.  See you tonight.

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  1. When Sid bumped Rask after the period, I thought “that was kind of an unnecessary d–k move.” When he got in Chara’s face (chest, really, but why nitpick), I yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!” Beyond trying to win this game and this series, Z could end Sid’s career without evening meaning to, given the size differential and Sid’s medical history. NOT SMART, kiddo. Someone needs to calm these guys down, because there’s no reason for them not to be beating the Bruins.

    And Geno: LEAVE BERGY’S FACE ALONE! Just cuz you’re jealous, doesn’t mean you need it ruin it for the rest of us.

    • Cassy Reply

      Not just Bergy’s face: he shouldn’t have grabbed Bergy’s about the neck and dragged him backwards. Plus he threw the first punch.

      Officiating may have been all over the joint, but there’s no need for that from either side frankly.

  2. This Pens/Bruins series is going to give me a nervous breakdown, and I don’t even root for either team. The officiating was all over the place and then Crosby is all up in Tuukka’s face and it felt like a replay of Toew’s Penalty Box Tour was just waiting to happen again.

  3. I’m not sure I even want to comment on this. What do you say? “Hold my earrings and teach me how to fight that twerp Marchand?” That’s the PG version of what I screamed when he took down Neal. UGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

    The fact is when the Penguins get angry, they lose. Here’s to hoping they took some tranquilizers today that allow them to focus on what’s really important – putting pucks in the net. You can’t win if you don’t score.

    Oh, and thanks to Alison for this. Always and forever.

    • Best .gif of life. It brings me so much joy each time I look at it.

  4. Alicia Reply

    I am a very loyal Capitals fan; however, when they get knocked out of the playoffs I do cheer on other teams. That being said I have chosen to cheer on Boston since it would be wrong for me to cheer on the Penguins; however, because of this blog I have felt torn about my choice. I honestly think Crosby is very talented but he is not what is making this difficult. It is the fact that this blog has made me like Letang and Neal. I would never have paid attention to them before. Also, I cheer on all Czech players since I lived in the Czech Republic for a bit so I wanted to cheer on Vokoun, but alas I would feel as if I am betraying by number one team the Capitals so Boston it is. Also, the city of Boston needs something to cheer for. I love your blog but it has now made a simple choice not so simple!!!!!