Double-oh my goodness.

You may recall I once insisted Bauer was falsely advertising their “base layer” collection by featuring all hockey players and no underwear.

They didn’t quite hear me, but they may have understood some of my International Sign language.


That’s right.  My hair-tossing and reasonable facsimile of the Kid N’ Play dance meant please do this:


What’s that?  I’m a nuclear physicist and you need to record my voice to bypass security a break into a missle silo?


You’d better hope the passcode is a bunch of four-letter words and gasping.


Of course, an agent always gets his girl.  And his girl ends up dead, covered in gold and rolled in a hammock in Antigua.


Eh, probably worth it.

There was never a shortage of Bond girls or bad jokes.  Get it – Bauer VAPOR?  Because these were all shot with the humidifier set to stun?  And all my powder compacts are really remote detonators and lock picking sets.


Better hurry up, the shiny villain-type is coming.


Then the money(penny) shot.   They’re thinking: JAMES BOND.


I’m thinking: BOYBAND.

westlifeWorked Westlife into a post, complete with Bry(i)an.  Maybe I am a physicist.

Closer, Bauer.  You’re getting closer.  No pressure, but when other athletes model… well, I’m not even sure what they’re selling, but I’ll buy it.

Maybe that’s what happens on 4.18 when…


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Leave a Reply

  1. The vapors? Yep, I’ve got ’em.

    Off to a cold shower now…

    • Val Reply

      I’m right there with ya’…I may just have to turn in to a prune, though

  2. ASDFGHJKLPOIUYTRREQZXCVBNM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is AH-MAH-ZING.

    I am glad I decided to not get out of bed and check twitter instead. Now I may never get up.

    Also “Of course, an agent always gets his girl. And his girl ends up dead, covered in gold and rolled in a hammock in Antigua.” may be your best work yet, Pants.

    Oh – and if we are lamenting the underwear model shortage, I think young Tyler’s latest UnderArmour ad might interest you…

    • Rebecca Guilbert Reply

      ohhhh that was a good ad……..!!!

  3. I’m convinced that women run every hockey PR department because they never fail to disappoint me.

  4. Seriously, when did Agent 19 get so damn hot?

    • Umm, what rock have you been hiding under?!? He’s always been hot!!!

  5. Beth Reply

    Only way to make that better, add Agent 30, aka Lundqvist.

    • How do you say “hell yes” in Swedish?

  6. Kathy Reply

    Wow….I can’t say much more than that. I am speechless and okay with it. Giroux posing as a secret special agent? Yes, more please, and thank you!

  7. I want you to know that my iPhone HATES Agent 08. Hates. Video kept crashing on his few seconds.