Skates, Plates & Prom Dates

Sweetie, your prom date is here.


You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew.  My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago.  You know, the one where they get dressed up and try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor give us something to blog about.


While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

tanger(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.


Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job?  Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin.  Here’s my resume.


Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

sid kris

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.


sid kris gif

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr.  Revel in the awkward.


Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950’s diner – on skates.  They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine.  So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease.  They could pull it off.

grease (Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey.  The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

score 2

Unless you think this is hockey:


Yes, you.  You jerk.

nealerNo I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

 I do support this, of course.  Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”


Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard.  People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.


My phone could hardly refresh fast enough.  Wore the lady behind me right out.


And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion?  I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants.  Duck and cover.


I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.


Sorry, Sad Ginger.  (NO I’M NOT.)

sad ginge

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ!  Having a year!  2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead.  [CBS Sports]  He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.


The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis.  If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night.  From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly?  13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

sid1Yeah, that’s right.

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  1. As soon as I saw that first picture of Sid, I sent it to my friend Carol and was like “Look! It’s a Carol’s-eye view of your wedding day!” Carol will be missed.

    Also, Jame Neal, you’re already tall and gorgeous and tall. Standing next to Tyler Kennedy was just mean.

  2. I read somewhere that the guys pranked rookie Beau Bennett, telling him that he’d have to wait on tables on skates. He apparently spent the rest of the day having a mild panic attack, until he showed up for the event.

    Poor kid.

  3. Every time the Pens play the Flyers I get really scared for James Neal’s face.. because Hartnell definitely wants to break it. And then we would all REALLY hate Philly.

    Does anyone else feel like while getting ready for Skates & Plates the entire team just stood in front of one long mirror while James and Kris supervised and gave them all hair styling tips?

  4. The Penguins are fueling my Crosby love to inappropriate levels. Sorry, did I say the Penguins? I meant Pants. Really, the Penguins and Pants working together. Determined to end me in a state of Crosby insanity. Of which Pants has already begun to see the beginning stages…

  5. MB Reply

    Gotta love a hot man in a tux. Much better than a hot man in the penalty box for stupid reasons (yes, James, I mean you). My husband pointed out during the game that I “correct” Neal like I’m scolding a child. Well, after that penalty-filled display, I have to plead guilty…

    Pants, check this out, too. The boys were playing some hoops this morning. I know, I’m not into basketball, either. It takes a shot of James Neal shooting 3-pointers to give me March madness…|PIT|home