Foxy Friday: #TeamEbs

Everyone says do-overs don’t count, but that’s only when you’re calling your ex-boyfriend for a date to the wedding of a girl you hate.

Here at #TeamEbs Campaign Headquarters, it’s Friday and this is Foxy, so enjoy our new recruiting video.


Don’t be shy, just bask in it.


This is the same gym Mike Green trains in the off-season.  Do the maids know they’ve cornered the market on second-hand sweaty towels?

Does Alberta have eBay?


We’ve re-named this video:

Jordan Eberle Demonstrates the Emotional Range of a Girl Watching this Video 

…and called in a doctor to identify what you’re feeling.


1) Seeing that it’s 16 minutes long results in complete preemptive shut down of all systems, to avoid permanent damage.

ebs3“I poked one, it was dead.” – Flight of the Conchords

2) You may struggle to stand up straight.

ebs5One of his arms is shorter, but that side of his shorts is longer. Even-Stevens.

3) As you try to pull yourself out of it, you feel unusually heavy.

ebs6What is with guys from this gym and nude-colored belts, Mike Green?

4) An increased pressure on your chest may indicate a heart attack.

ebs7#TeamEbs Recruiting Poster – Rough Draft

Any questions so far?  “Wait, Doc.  What are you saying?”

todd 2

5) Symptoms include labored breathing, possible sweats.

e2Kick from the Official Spice Girls Workout on AOL

6) Hysterical giggling at inappropriate time.

e5He’s thinking about the Taylor Swift-sung-by-a-goat video.

7) The Earth moving under your feet.


8) And the eventual loss of previously noted ability to stay upright by oneself, resulting in the need for professional help.


Diagnosis: The rest of your day is going to be a struggle.


Signed: Oh shoot.  We knew there was something wrong with that doctor.


Treatment: Your move, #TeamHall.  Or #TeamSchultz, #TeamCorey and if anyone wants, #TeamRNH and #TeamGagne are available.

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Leave a Reply

  1. Can I be #TeamEbs AND #TeamSchultzy? It’s too hard to pick.

  2. My only reaction to this video is a series of random squeaks, followed by “How can I get this man’s job?” about every 30 seconds.

  3. jana Reply

    I’m #TeamEbs all the way. No question.

    P.S. I just did the exercises in step 5 this morning in boot camp, but with a basketball under my foot inside of a disc. Holy crap-balls that’s hard!

    P.P.S. I miss Scrubs.

  4. Did you hear that THUNK, followed by the sound of screeching tires?? That was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor, followed by my car pealing out of the parking lot because this gym is LESS THAN 20 MINUTES FROM MY OFFICE.

    If Ebs and MG52 train there, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT ELSE I COULD FIND?? JEEBUS. I’m getting a summer job here. F*CK the day job. #TeamEbs alllllll the way. (minus anything Blackhaws or Pens, of course ;))

    • This place is like BioSteel Camp West. And Calgary doubly wins this summer if Team Canada Olympic Selection Camp is there again this year.

      • I have a guest wing in my house. You’re all invited to come visit.

        • jana Reply

          SWEET! 😉

        • If none of them are nominated for the 2014 NHL Awards, aka my 21st, there could be a change of plans to Alberta.

  5. I’m seriously about to tweet Hallsy with the video and a all caps lock “AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO KEEP MY AFFECTION?!”

    #TeamHallsy because who doesn’t love Kraft Dinner.

    • Pants Reply

      I’ll never, ever get over Canadians calling it Kraft Dinner. Even thought “If I Had a Million Dollars” was the first dance at my wedding.

      • When I first saw their apartment tour video, it left me so confused. I was like “You mean Easy Mac, right?”

        • Pants Reply

          Hahaha, now you’ve ID’d yourself as young AND American. Easy Mac is not the only Kraft Mac & Cheese! We old folks used to get “the blue box blues.”

  6. Amy Reply

    Sorry, Jordan; I am part of #TeamGagner. Sammy doesn’t get nearly enough love compared to his mates; but Ebs is a close second.

    Thank you ladies for posting this tough. Any sweating hockey boy is a good one. 🙂

  7. When you said Team Gagne I didn’t realize you meant Sam. I thought you were picking on Simon and was gonna be like “LADY, why you pickin’ on my Frenchie?!” Sunday he and I had a fabulous convo about how he’s 8 1/4 y.o. Guh! But back to the topic at hand…

    Am I the only one who sees this as Ebs making his case for best future husband?

    1) His dynamic warm up is him showing his dancing skills. From his old man shuffle to the right and sashaying to the left, he’d be a hit at any wedding.

    2)Triangle Drill = He follows directions.

    3) RDL – Here, honey, I’ll get those groceries.

    4) The inverted rows…well, I don’t need to point out the importance of thrusting with such gusto.

    5) Sled push… Oh, babe, your car broke down? Let me push it 5 miles home!

    No contest. I’m #TeamEbs.

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