Mr. Tall, Dark & Hockey

Last Valentine’s Day, we brought you a crash course in finding the perfect date.  This year, Chuck is rewriting her profile and under “What You’re Looking For,” she’s including this:


Hey, they said be specific.


So for another round of the Hallmark Holiday, we’re talking about What a Girl Wants – NHL Edition.  Get out your Franken-kit ’cause we’re building the perfect boyfriend.

stammerBecause is better than Ryan Gosling.

Like anything you’re going to ride, you’ve gotta start with a good frame.

higgy Chris Higgins makes even his own pants fall off.

Don’t be shy if you wanna kick the tires, make sure they’re sturdy.

ovi-panel1What? He has great legs.

Moving up, make sure he’s equipped to literally sweep you off your feet.

tavares Doing laundry, ripping the sleeves off every shirt.

Since you’ll be seeing this face a lot, it’s gotta be a good one.


Pick a smile you want to see all the time.


A real smile.


An all the way smile.


(Whew, I got a little carried away.)

Hair is important too – so many choices!  Short and sweet?  Dandy flop?  Ginger curls in perfect Pantone color match to his team’s sweater?


Do you want a guy who spends more time in front of the mirror than you do?


Careful… consider the alternative.


As a secure, confident lady, just admit that some days Mr. Perfect is going to look better than you do.  Handle it.

bogo Okay, show us the wistful longing eyebrow raise…

Now that he’s built, your guy can’t just lie sit there and look pretty.  He will of course be funny…


And smart…

parise That lady is straight reading over his shoulder.

Responsible too.


He will want a family…

geno kids With extra hair accessories.

And he’ll set a good example for them…

flyers2Stay classy, Philly.

Or at least make sure their signs are spelled right.

signOr at least stay in school.

Add a little bit of serious…


But make sure he knows when to let loose.


Throw in more lover and a little bit of fighter…


Who just needs to cuddle sometimes, okay?

prust Brandon Prust vs. Lola – Snoring Contest

Give him a scoring touch.


Both kinds.


Mix in equal parts handsome…


And charming…


Plus a couple parts pure adorkableness…


And your brand new, NHL-edition boyfriend will be perfect(-ish).


Now go and enjoy your Valentine’s Day!


Leave a Reply

  1. I did ask my friend if I could have Sid for Valentine’s day….

  2. jana Reply

    This post ruins every possible Valentine I could receive.

    Like, ever.

  3. Awww, all the boys are adorable as always!

    I intended to get some shots of Rick Nash during warm-ups in Boston the other night but, unfortunately for you guys, Tyler Seguin decided to stand directly in front of me the entire time. Which wasn’t at all distracting or anything. Sooooooo…maybe next time?

    Happy Valentine’s Day, girls!

  4. I’m throwing down here, Pants, and challenging you to a duel.

    You forgot an extremely important person in my life, who my teddy bear is named after: The Professor (aka Mr Perfect).

    *giving you a pointed and extremely scary death stare*

  5. Carter Reply

    This is just like Build a Bear. Those bears don’t get pants to wear at the end either, come to think of it.

    • Carter wins the internet!

  6. Best line: “your guy can’t just (lie) sit there and look pretty.” *I see what you did there.*

    Thanks for the best gift I’ll get today (and I’m including the fancy French macarons from this morning).

  7. What the hell Chris Higgins!??!?! Why do you have abs like a superhero? Those are not real life.

    Why can’t I have a Rick Nash of my very own? *pouts* *pours some more wine*

    That Tyler Seguin gif is just illegal. I feel like he’s undressing me with his eyes…and I don’t care.

    • Ashley Reply

      after seeing that seguin gif i think i may need to take a pregnancy test.

    • Higgins and Bieksa… Canucks gateway drugs, I tell ya.

    • jana Reply

      Being the Segnista that I am, I studied that video several times. I think he looks sweetly awkward and innocent. And I love it because I know damn well he isn’t either awkward nor innocent.

      • jana Reply

        Seguinista, stupid iPad.

  8. Jayma Reply

    Have you seen those penguins themed V-day cards on their Facebook?!

  9. Lemya Reply

    This post just gave me like 50 more reasons to spend this day eating my feelings…AND I LOVE IT!!!!

  10. Alex Reply

    I loved the ending; i mean, we all know Sidney is the definition of a perfect NHL boyfriend…

    …and he’s kinda mine…and he doesn’t know it yet…. <3 *___*

  11. You know, there was a much shorter way to do this, the perfect hockey boyfriend already exists, and it most certainly isn’t anybody with the initials S.C. It’s Jonathan Toews, DUH!!!

  12. Molly Reply

    Speaking of Valentines that will completely ruin any other man for you: imagine Patrick Sharp in a dog costume presenting you with a big basket full of goodies. Minor detail: you don’t know he’s under the fur. And then he takes his furry head off…

    Can’t picture it? BHTV made sure some very lucky fan named Deb did. Go check it out on and be very jealous.

  13. Deanna Reply

    I looked back at last year’s Valentine’s Day post and what I said was “Perfect post is perfect.” Well, I think this one tops it. Toooooo much pretty on one page.

  14. Kelley Guffin Reply

    As many as half of adults snore sometimes. Snoring occurs when air flows past relaxed tissues in your throat, causing the tissues to vibrate as you breathe, which creates those irritating sounds…*.:

    Catch ya later <