The best thing I’ve read in ages:

Do the John Tavares Workout at Home – Lighthouse Hockey

I don’t know which part is best, the warning to not actually do any of these things or the “Extra Work” that includes (and I quote):

After completing all of the above steps, it’s important to pick up any odd jobs you can find around town, such as painting all of your neighbor’s houses (both interiors and exteriors), walking any dogs they have or filing their income taxes.

Income taxes.  I can’t.  Look at the end of the URL when you click the link.

Now go buy yourself ten packets of limo Jell-O mix and read it again.