Wait...When did we trade Gregory Campbell?

The President spoke for a bit, chided the city of Boston for having too many championship teams, called out Brad Marchand (“Little Ball of Hate?  What’s up with that nickname?”), and posed with the team for the obligatory photo shoot. Watch the full video [here].

Notably absent from today’s festivities was goaltender Tim Thomas, one of only two Americans on the team.  Apparently, Timmeh is a stauch conservative and refused the invite from the Commander in Chief due to “political reasons.”

While Thomas is absolutely entitled to his beliefs and can choose do to what he wants (this is a free country, after all),  wouldn’t you want to go just to share the experience with your teammates…and steal pens and hand towels from White House?  

Eh, whatever. I’m over it.

As long as Timmy keeps making saves and playing like a boss, I don’t really care whether or not he likes the President.

Yea. I said it.

The Boston Bruins are the best team in the NHL.

Now before you start heckling me and throwing rotten tomatoes and heads of iceberg lettuce,  just hear me out for second.

I know that I may be slightly biased here when it comes to the Bruins but as a “hockey writer”, I do have the ability to look at this with some measure of objectivity.

So how do I dare make such a bold statement?  Let’s look at the facts…

• They have the best goaltending tandem in the NHL.
• I DEFY to name another goalie super duo better that Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask.  They are straight up domination.  Rask is #2 in GAA (1.82). Thomas is #3 (1.84).  Thomas is #2 in Save % (.943). Rask is #3 (.939).  Thomas is #2 in wins (16) and in a 3-way tie for 1st in shutouts (4).   By having two stellar goalies, the Bruins have a distinct advantage through the regular season because you can rest Thomas and give him a night off while still preserving your chance to win even with Rask in the net.  There is not that ‘Oh crap” moment with the backup comes in.  With the B’s, even the backup is pretty outstanding.  Also, Rask is only 24 years old so just think about what he’ll be like in three years.  Thomas is the present.  Rask is the future.
• They are as deep as the ocean is wide.
• Although Chris Kelly does look like he reads “The Economist” and you know Andrew Ference watches documentaries on the National Geographic Channel, I’m not talking about an intellectual depth. I’m talking about the We-Have-Four-Lines-That-Can-Light-It-Up sort of depth.  Every single line of the Bruins offense can score goals. Yes, even the Mucking & Grinding 4th line led by Shawn Thornton.  Hell, even the much maligned Benoit Pouliot is scoring goals (he’s got 6). 1st line not producing?  It’s cool.  We’ll come at you with the 2nd and 3rd lines. Coach Claude has a plethora of talent from which he can craft his lines.  He has young talent like Jordan Caron and Zach Hamill that he can call up from Providence at a moment’s notice who can slip into the Bruins’ lineup without missing a beat.
  

  I score goals. I feel love. My hockey powers are renewed.

  

  Woo hoo Carey Price. How'd ya like that one? Pretty sweet, right?

• They are low-profile.
• While the Bruins are an upper echelon NHL team, no one really cares about them. They aren’t the object of rampant fan-girling (or boying). They’ll leave that to Jonathan Toews and Sidney Crosby.  They aren’t gracing the pages of GQ (although they certainly could).  They don’t have a flashy coach or super star face-of-the-NHL type player (Chara might come close but if you ask me, Patrice Bergeron deserves to be up there). They are just a straight up, solid hockey club who win hockey games with skill, speed, and quiet tenacity. And an occasional pugilistic endeavor.

I know that we are only a little over a third of the way through the season, but I don’t think that I’m alone in my thinking that the Bruins have the potential to repeat as Stanley Cup Champions.  Now I know it is nigh impossible to repeat and maybe I just jinxed myself and I know it hasn’t been done since the Red Wings did it in the 1997-98 season, but I’m holding out this little sliver of hope that it could happen.

And why shouldn’t it?  If you get a chance, just watch them play a few games.  Instead of turning on the Pens, or the Caps, or the Hawks game, turn on the Bruins.

I guarantee you’ll like the hockey you see.

Timmay’s Discover Card Commercial [here].

Right now, he’s really regretting giving Seguin all of his singles.

Pretty sure my cabbie is going to beat me up.

I'm scared.

Oh hai sexy boyfriend.

Help.

Class this semester is on Thursdays, which means that I’m going to have to tape alot of games this year, only to watch them when I get home at 9:30pm.

Chuck no likey.

Yesterday, I taped the Bruins game (natch) and couldn’t race home fast enough to watch my beloved Killer Bs raise their championship banner.

Two words.  Goose. Bumps.

I’m not an overly sentimental person (except at Pants’ wedding when she danced with her dad.  Me = hot mess), but last night, I was all dewy-eyed and loved up over the Bruins’ banner ceremony.

The old generation (1972 Bruins)  passing the proverbial torch to the new generation (2011 Bruins). 93 year old yet spritely Milt Schmidt arm-in-arm with Bobby Orr just made me all happy.

It was a well-done, exhilarating, and classy production.

Legendary.

Pants and I couldn’t have done it better ourselves.

Enough with the lovefest! Let’s play some HOCKEY!

And play we did.

Despite the loss, the fact is that there are 81 games left.  Still a lot of season left to play.

Five other facts from last night’s Bruins/Flyers match up.

1) Timmy’s smile is infectious.  Like ebola.

2) Pierre Maguire looks like a muppet.

meep meep meep

3) Brad Marchand shall now be known as Squirrel.  He’s right squirrely that one.  Quick.  Nimble.  Darting in and out of the Flyers’ defense.  Collecting hockey pucks like acorns.

SQUIRREL!

4) Jaromir Jagr has been in the NHL since he was a fetus (okay, since he was 18), but dude can still play.  Jagr + Giroux + van Reemsdyk could be a nasty combination this season.  Flyers coach said that Jagr will come back to the rink AFTER having already practiced that day to work out again.  Really?  Way to make everyone else in the hockey world look straight up lazy.

Toews, Letang, Nash ain't got nothing on my workout videos.

5) Our boy Tyler Seguin looked very mature on the ice.  Making breaks, smart plays, crisp passes to his BFF Marchand.  But he’s only 20.  Still plenty more of this yet to come.

oh boy, watcha gonna do know?

I’m leaving him for YOU. Cue Adele. Well. I heard a rumor that DDTBG was holding out for more dough, ah, I mean signing with the Kings because he was waiting to see what Shea Weber was going to do during his arbitration. Why you ask? Well the mill said he felt he was on par with the mighty Weber and what he could get, DDTBG could get or more.

7.5 million dollar man

I say, Weber hasn’t been touched by god – he may be touched by a mighty beard in play-off times, a slap shot that would put fear in many a goalie, many of our loyal readers may want to touch him – cue Samatha Fox – yes I WENT THERE! For those of you who have NO IDEA WTF I’m talking about -she was Ke$ha before, well just watch for yourself. But ah, not feeling the comparison. And I’ll leave it at that. Not touching it with a ten-foot pole because everyone knows how much I LOVE DDTBG.

Now the Hockey Gods have spoken, I don’t think it’s quite what DDTBG was hoping for; 7.5 million and a one year contract.  While that may buy DDTBG a whole lot of IN N OUT BURGERS, it’s not the golden ticket to security I think he was hoping for with the KINGS, or should I say, the golden throne, the golden contract, the golden crown, OK, I think you get the analogy.

Now he’s caught between Timmy the Tank and a goal post and that’s not a good place to be. Vancouver knows how that feels!

hard times... hard times are comin'

We are the Champions!

Those words will live with me for the rest of my life.

For the first time since 1972, the Black and Gold have won the most beauteous and shiniest of all trophies in professional sports.  The Bruins defeated the Vancouver Canucks, a team which lead the regular season in points, were a #1 seed and stacked with undoubtedly offensive talent like the Sedin twins and Ryan Kesler.

But when it comes to winning the Stanley Cup, stuff like that don’t matter.

What matters is Heart.  Soul.  Grit.  Grime.  Desire.

A desire that is a slowly burning fire in the hearts of each and every one of these players since they were old enough to skate.

For the Boston Bruins, that fire started in Prague at the beginning of the season.

It smoldered throughout the months, through each long road trip, overtime win,  and shoot out loss.

The sparks started to pop and crackle during the first round of the playoffs versus the Canadians.

The fire began to grow with the sweep of the Flyers  and the emotional victory over the Lightning in the Eastern Conference Finals.

When the Stanley Cup Finals began, that fire was burning bright and hot, but it IGNITED because of one hit.

Aaron Rome’s crushing hit on Nathan Horton in Game 3 was akin to pouring a can of lighter fluid on a campfire.

Once minute you’re slowing roasting marshmallows and the next, you are plucking blackened, charred, nobs of sugary goo off your sharpened branch.

That hit changed something in the Bruins.  It made them angry.  Vancouver’s post game jawing and comments to the press only fueled the fire more.

All season, the Bs played better when they were down, when people counted them out.  They crushed the Canucks in games 3, 4, and 6, and games 1, 2, and 5 were only one goal losses.

The Finals gave the decided advantage to the home team, but the Bruins were a team that would not be denied.

With the exception of a couple of minor penalties and sloppy turnovers, the Bruins played a perfect Game 7.  It was controlled yet intense.  All four of the Bruins lines were churning and working hard to shut down the Canucks, as they’d done the whole series.

Tim Thomas cemented his legacy in the pantheon of Boston sports and became the oldest player ever to win the Conn Smythe as the playoff MVP.

The Bruins defense, led by Zdeno Chara and the exceedingly underrated Dennis Seidenberg, created ghosts of the Sedins and the rest of the Canucks forwards.

Mark Recchi, at 43 years young, won his 3rd Stanley Cup, and promptly retired.  The guy is class all the way and because of him, Patrice Bergeron, Brad Marchand, and Tyler Seguin will be the future of the Boston Bruins.

What happened last night will be etched into the memories of every Bruins fan everywhere and with this victory, my beloved city truly stakes its claim as the “City of Champions”.  7 titles in 11 years.

7/11.

A slurpee sounds pretty good right about now.

But only if I get to drink it from the Cup.

Just like Baby in “Dirty Dancing.”  Except instead of Johnny Castle, I had Tim Thomas.

Thanks to a one very awesome friend, I was at Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals at TD Garden.

Bruins shutout the Canucks, 4-0  to even the series 2-2.  Series returns to Vancouver for Game 5 on Friday.

Attending the Stanley Cup Finals is a dream for any hockey fan, including me.  It was very high on my bucket list, right up there with seeing the pyramids and making out with Ben Affleck.

But I never thought that it would ACTUALLY happen.

That was until last night.

So how did I get there?  How did I come to check this off my bucket list? And what did it feel like when I did?

See below...

[ It’s sort long but bear with me.  Get it?  Bear.   ]

===============================

I have a friend from high school.  His name is Smitty.  It’s really Kevin, but pretty sure that his mom and his wife are the only ones who call him Kevin (but of that I can’t really be sure).  Smitty is a high school teacher and hockey coach and like me, a life long Bruin fan, and fan of the sport in general.

The man had a Stanley Cup groom’s cake at his wedding. Clearly, this man is our hero.

Through sickness, health, and hockey season...

Smitty emails me Monday morning.

Cue me, freaking out.

I message him back immediately.

My response reads something like: “COUNT ME IN!  Holy #@%*.  I love you!  How much are the tickets?  Oh really?  That much?  Whatever.  That’s cool.  I’ll just eat ramen for a month.”

I get all light-headed.  Have to sit down.  *deep breath*

Wednesdays are grad school days for me, but fortunately my professor is a sports psychologist and hockey fan, so he was very understanding when I told him I had to leave early because I was going to Game 4.

As I make my way down Canal Street to the Garden, I am engulfed in a sea of black and gold…with bit of white and blue mixed in.

Brave orcas.

The closer I get to the Garden, the more my heart starts to flutter.

I’m really here.

This is really happening.

Before heading to our seats (in Club Section 145, no less), quick stop is made at the Bruins Pro Shop.  One must mark this occasion with SCF accoutrements, including a t-shirt and banner.

Now, my office looks even better.

Finally we make to our seats and the significance of the moment finally hits me.

I made it. I’m at the Stanley Cup Finals.

Stanley Cup Finals. I went to there.

The Stanley Cup Finals are a special sporting event, but it takes on a whole new meaning and significance when your team are the ones playing for it.

From warm-ups to the announcement of the Three Stars, the atmosphere in the Garden was super-charged, like a summer thunderstorm.

Every single person in that arena was sending out the most positive beautiful energy that it is hard to believe how the players couldn’t feel it seeping through the walls into the locker room.

Every time Nathan Horton’s name was mentioned or they showed a fan wearing his jersey, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause.  In only his first season as a Bruin, NH18 has made his mark as a fan favorite and the outpouring of love from the Black and Gold faithful has to help speed up his recover.

Bruins legend Bobby Orr (#4) was the honorary flag bearer for the start of the game.  Fittingly, he waved Horton’s flag, as a salute to the injured Bruins forward.

Genius move, Bruins.  Way to lift the crowd to an whole other level of controlled frenzy.

(Sidenote: Bobby Orr is like 65, but he is still WAY hot.)

Silver Fox.

Do it for Horty.

The game itself was everything that one could hope for in a SCF game…unless you are a Canucks fan.  The Green Men were very sad.

The Bruins were dominant, controlled, quick to the puck.

Their penalty kill continues to shine (21 for 22 in this series).

Bruins D-fence remains dominant in shutting down Vancouver’s offensive threats. I think it is because of Adam McQuaid’s mullet.  That thing is glorious and magical.

Tim Thomas’s Vezina stock continues to rise with every acrobatic, heart-stopping save that he makes.  The man is a beast, albeit a fluffy, smiley beast.   I just want to hug him so tight.

"Hey there! What's up? Nothing too much here. Just playing goal like I'm out of my gourd."

They showed Marc Savard on the jumbotron.  The place went nuts.  Please come back soon.  I miss you.

They showed Rachel McAdams on the jumbotron.  A lot.  Couldn’t tell if she was rooting for the Bruins or the Canucks, but she looked like she was having fun, so that’s cool.

Going to a Stanley Cup Finals game is a once in a lifetime experience but to be able to experience it with your hometown team, on home ice, is something entirely transcendental.

It leaves you with a feeling of elation.  Of glee.  Of passion. Of adoration.  Of worship.  

And most of all, of pride.  

Well, they got that win…and then some.

They mauled the Canucks with their big, sharp claws.

Bear’s Victory Dance is well deserved.

Bruins play best when they are infuriated.  Aaron Rome gave them plenty to be P.O’d about after his late, blind side hit on Nathan Horton.  Horton lay on the ice, motionless, his right arm frozen as if he was still clutching the stick.  His eyes were fluttering as if he was having a petite mal seizure.  Terrifying to watch.  I don’t think that there was a single hockey fan, Bruin or Canuck alike, who wasn’t praying and hoping that NH18 would be okay.  Horton was transported to the hospital strapped to a stretcher.  Rome was tossed.  Bruins got a 5 minute PP.  Although they failed to capitalize on the man advantage, it seemed to ignite a fire within the belly of the bear. Players said that during the 1st intermission, the Bruins rallied around their injured teammate and vowed “to win one for Horty.” 

The Killer Bs came out of locker room, impassioned and determined to avenge their comrade-in-ice. 11 seconds into the 2nd, Andrew Ference (the original Green man) put the Black and Gold on the board with a slapshot from the point…

And the Bruins never looked back.

They poured it and managed to solve the goaltending puzzle that is Roberto Luongo.  Apparently, the key is to go high and go glove side.  Bruins beat him 3 times on the glove side and the other goals (with the exception of Kesler’s own goal) were up around Luongo’s ears. 

Apparently, the Bruins can’t score on the PP but they can shorthanded.  2 SHG.  They keep producing like that, we’ll gladly welcome those penalties!

Bruins had 7 different goal scores which shows the depth of the team’s forwards and their skill with the puck.  Marchand’s goal was highlight reel material and the little Motoscooter’s post goal celebration rivals the joyful exuberance of Dawn’s future 2nd husband, Alex Ovechkin.

They are way too happy to pay any attention to the moron flashing them...

Tim Thomas frustrated the Canucks with his in-cre-ab-leh saves and feats of flexibility.  He even managed to lay a hit on Henrik Sedin that would make Bill Belichick proud.

Protecting the house.

 If this guy doesn’t win the Vezina, than every GM in the NHL needs to have his head examined.  Sure, we might me a *bit* bias, but seriously.  Have you been watching him play?  Tim Thomas = Beast of the East.

 The Bruins D shut down the SedinBots, Kesler, Burrowes, et al with authority.  Getting Shawn Thornton into the lineup was a stellar move by Coach Claude.  It’s was like waking the bear from hibernation.  Who was grumpy.  And hungry. We’re all Seguinistas here but in this situation, it was best to sit the kid and go with the heart, toughness, and SCF experience that  ST22 brings to the team.  Plus he talks trash like nobody’s business.  Constantly yapping away, that one.

I could go on and on about all the things that the Bruins did right and all the things that the Canucks did wrong, but frankly I’m just mentally exhausted.  Energy must be conserved since I’ll be in the stands for Game 4.

I’ll try to tweet but I don’t know if my hands will stop shaking enough.

It also happened to be totally crappy and soul-sucking.

My patronus is a fuzzy brown bear.

As the tornado watch loomed over the city of Boston, the thunder boomed, and lightning lit up the sky like a Polish dyskotekya, the Bruins were just 18 seconds from heading into overtime with the Canucks.

But then Johnny Boychuk made a teeny mistake…

Ryan Kessler made a great pass…

Yannick Hansen made an other great pass…

and Raffi Torres slipped the puck past Timmy Thomas.

Canucks win.

The apartment goes silent.  I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Collapse on the floor like I’ve been ninja kicked in the face.

...hai-YA...

A crushing loss to be sure, but then again aren’t all losses in June, when your team is playing for the biggest, shiniest, purtiest trophy in all of sport?

Thomas and Luongo played out of their craniums and denied both teams numerous scoring chances.  At times, the game was chippy and physical and downright bizarre.  Alex Burrows going all pre-school and biting Patrice Bergeron?  What?  Really?  No penalty was called but you can be sure that the NHL will review that scrizz.

But the Professor ain’t fazed by it.  He’s too smaht for that.

The Professor speaks out...click for video footage...

Despite the imperfect outcome, the Bruins should be very proud of the way that they played.  They played a solid, physical game and made the Canucks work for every inch.  Bruins d-men did a great job disrupting the SedinBots’ dolphin sonar, as either Henrik or Daniel had any points; Henrik had a big ‘ol fat goose egg with SOG and Daniel only had 8.

Lots of hockey writers, reporters and prognosticators thought that the Bruins wouldn’t stand a chance against the powerhouse Canucks.  “They’re too fast.”  “They’re too talented.”  “The Sedin twins are magical and drink mineral water from goblets made of unicorn horns.” But the Bs proved that they are a team that deserves to have their shot at Lord Stanley’s Cup.  They belong with the big boys.

While I wanted to curl up into the fetal position and cry last night, I’m feeling much better today.  The series is still young and there is many a game left to play.

And like the Rev. Jesse Jackson said, “Keep Hope Alive!”

Is this really happening?  Is the team that I’ve rooted for and cheered for all season really in the Stanley Cup Finals?

Hell ya, they are!

Bruins and Canucks will face off at 8pm EST in Game 1 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals.  I’m supposed to have grad class until 8pm but I’m totally planning on having to “go to the bathroom” and racing home (as much as one can race on public transportation) to watch the game.  I was invited to a meetup of Canadian ex-pats in Boston to watch the game, but they’ll all be cheering for the Canucks and I don’t know if I can handle that…

There has been a lot of media coverage of the SCF here in Boston (natch) and with that comes some awesome photos and screen caps of our most favorite Bruins players.  I only felt is was far to share them with our loyal readers because regardless of your personal hockey affiliation,  you understand the magnitude of the Stanley Cup Finals and what it means to the Canucks and Bruins hockey fans everywhere.

Plus their beards and faces are awesome.  See evidence below.

You’re welcome.

GO BRUINS!

Hi-fives for everyone!

Click, Click, Click...BOOM!

"I once caught a Canuck aboot this...big..."

Learning about the elusive creature known as the...Power Play Goal.

Still pondering just how in the world he made that save on Steve Downie...

Krecji looking all kinds of Euro

.:love:.

I already got my name on the Stanley Cup...what about you?

Teen Wolf like shiny cup.

Notice who's on the wall behind him. *good omen*

"I am Darth Quaider. You will fear me...and my mullet"

Czech me out, ladies.

Why hello there, Boych. Don't you look foxy. P.S. Your profile is *swoon*

The Professor has tenure with the Bruins. 7 years. He's only 25.

watch out vancouver, he's lethal with a water bottle

The incident happens at the 1:20 mark. The only film available is on Youtube: (I got it to embed for you – Pants)

Puck Daddy mentions this YESTERDAY before Game 7 :

“Before the 2010-11 season, the NHL made it clear that players spraying fans with water bottles, even when there’s penalty box glass in between them, was outlawed. ”

You may remember, John Tortorella, the coach of the NY Rangers, was suspended for a game for spraying a fan with a water bottle and NOT throwing anything. This was during the 2009 playoffs. But there was a big who-ha about this when it happened. And I am not going to compare this to Rick Rypien of the Canucks because that is silly.

But the NHL did NOT suspend Horton nor provide any disciplinary action for the incident. However, there was a precedent and where is the disciplinary consistency? But if they HAD, would Boston have won game 7 against Tampa Bay since Nathan Horton snagged his second game winning goal? He now has a NHL record of scoring two game winning, game 7 goals in the same playoff year.

I was a little shocked that no media asked either coaches about this nor Versus or the CBC brought this up during the post-game analysis. It seems like everyone wanted to just sweep it under the rug.

I’m not trying to take anything away from Boston or their win tonight, nor Nathan Horton but I certainly hope perhaps the classy Tim Thomas takes him aside, sits him down and has a long talk with him about sportsmanship, being a professional and keeping his emotions in check. Because watching game 7 and then seeing all the interviews with this young man afterward, knowing about his shameful behaviour towards the Tampa Bay fans, made it a little hard to feel good about his achievements. I hope he realized he dodged a huge bullet.

i am master of the universe!

On a lighter note, Tim Thomas gave the BEST QUOTE ever, post-game when Scott Oakes asked him how he planned on handling Vancouver, “Well .. obviously, ah, I just plan on stopping as many pucks as possible!”  Good plan Tim. How can you not love this guy?

One win.  One measly little win.

It is so close, we can taste it.

Tastes like peanut butter and happiness.

Yesterday’s 3-1 win over the Lightning was not pretty by any means, but it is a “W” nonetheless.

Bruins’ d-men looks shaky and slow.  Communication between Timmay and ZC33, AF21, DS44, TK12 and the rest of the guys was off and we don’t like it one bit.  But they did stick Big Z in front of the net to screen out Smith.  Well played, Claude.  It’s like trying to see around a California redwood.

Bruins let TB score early in the first (again!).  Guys, we can’t let this happen anymore.  WUYS forbids it.  It is soul-crushing and we can’t take the stress about the B’s having to come from behind a minute into the game.

We’re totally cool with goalies playing the puck…when it is safe and necessary to do so.  Too many times this series Timmay has gone back to play the biscuit and crashed into a defensemen or misplayed the puck leading to a turnover.  Do us a favor, Timmy.  Just stay in your home.  Don’t venture out.  Become agoraphobic.  Those blue lines are to become your personal little bubble.

Bruins got scoring from Horton, Motorscooter Marchand, and Rich Peverley, who I’m sure goes home everything and prays to baby Jesus in the tuxedo t-shirt that he got out of Atlanta when he did.  While his former teammates back up their u-hauls and deal with the drama of the Thrashers relocation to Winnipeg, RP49 is one win away from getting the chance to play for Lord Stanley’s Cup.

The game was hard-fought and one could argue that the Lightning outplayed the Bruins, but some how the Killer B’s pulled it out.

Like the proverbial rabbit out of hat.

Game 6 is tomorrow night in Tampa Bay.  *fingerscrossed*  no magical tricks required.

Now that you won’t be able to get this song out of your head, it’s the battle of the Super Twins, Count Von Count-anyone-can-do-this-job VS. Jumbo Scrimp (Oxy-Maroon), I’m-still -Cryin’ Patty Mar-where’s-the-loo and Logan Haute-Couture. Who will win the West-Coast Battle for the Cup? I called Vancouver in the Wayback Machine.

capt vs capt (i think it's henrik - who knows for sure!)

On the East Coast we got the Not-so-Jolly-Yellow-Giant Chara, Sir Thomas-the-Tank-Engine and i-blow-pucks-out-my-ass-for-goals-bergeron VS stampeding Stammers, Little-Man Louis and Bat-shit-crazy-face-sort-of-hot-in-a-weird-way-guy-the-butcher. I called neither of these and would have never dreamed of either of these but in reverse psychology and covering my bases. I’m going with Tampa Bay and if they win, I’ll be glad and say I called it. If they lose, I’ll say I helped Boston because every team I pick, loses! So either way, I’m covered! Sound practice!

Baby TIMMAY!

Baby SQUISHY!

BABY HOCKEY PLAYERS!! Watch the awesome video, complete with stellar 90’s soundtrack!

In 1996, Pants and I were juniors in high school.  She had a curly afro and I had reaaaally long hair and wore Doc Martens.

In 1996, the Tank and Squishy were teammates on the Vermont Catamounts’ hockey team.  Who knew that 15 years later, they’d be facing each other for a chance to play in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Certainly not them.  We’re thinking they were more worried that they ran out of Ben and Jerry’s and that they couldn’t find their favorite flannel shirt.  Let’s be realistic here, people.  It is Vermont, after all.

Should be interesting to watch them when the Eastern Conference Finals start up tomorrow.  Think they’ll meet up at center ice during warm ups for a chat?

Or will it be this instead?

*facepalm*

Gator was particularly excited, and posted a photo of an Ice Girl picking up an octopus on my door this morning.  She had faith.  And we’re ready for Thursday’s Game 7.  I want to rock my Sharks jersey (from free jersey night) but since all my teams lose, perhaps I should sit quietly in a corner.

On the bright side, the NHL posted the Conference Final Schedule scenarios so we can plan the next two weeks of our lives:

In an effort to distract Gator from the Red Wings, Stammer showed off his beard and excitement to get back on the ice [video].  Between him and Gator they’ve used all the SPF 50 in Florida.

Meanwhile in Boston, Professor Bergeron is “feeling better” but definitely has concussion symptoms.  Saturday is still a ways off and Chuck is throwing dollars into that wishing well.  With so much momentum between these two teams at the end of Round 2, who do you think comes out strongest after the break?

I think it all comes down to TIMMAAAAAY. [video]  Can the Bolts beat him, or will he beat them?  He won’t let Chuck and Cassy down.  But will it be enough?

First, the Pens lose and Pants was very sad, yet hopeful that Mikey and the boys can ease her pain.

Then, the Mikey and said boys get swept up like dust bunnies by Steve Stamkos, “Father Time” Dwayne Roloson, Squishy and the rest of the Tampa Bay Lightning.   Pants is inconsolable.  And Dawn is even worse.  They just lay face down on the floor, surrounded by Whatchamacallit wrappers and empty bottles of Mexican Coca-Cola.  And Dawn refuses to change out of her Ovechkin sweatpants.  It is sort of depressing.

But I totes get their pain.  I’ve felt it deep down countless times – Patriots’ loss in the Super Bowl, US losing to Ghana in the 2010 World Cup, the Bruins losing to Phi….ermmm….nevermind.

But Pants, Dawn, and all sad pandas out there, it’s time to cheer up!  Hockey ain’t over!

"Come here, Motoscooter. I loves you. Let us hug. Wow, you are short. My son, he taller than you and he only 4 years."

There is still plenty more hockey to watch and plenty of teams to cheer for.   I recommend cheering for the Sharks, the Predators (and Shea Weber’s beard), and the Bruins (natch).

Every Bruins fan in the world is in a very precarious spot right now.  We hope and pray that the Bruins can close out their sweep of the Flyers on Friday, but the hurt of last year still burns deep in our souls.  The statistically probability of that happening again this year are impossible (right?).  Remember lightning doesn’t strike twice.  At least not when Timmy the Tank is in net.

Everyone knows that goaltending wins Cups (Stanley’s, not Hogwarts’) and with the way that Thomas has been playing, as a Bruins fan it is not hard to dream about what a parade down Tremont Street would look like…

Instead of red and blue, picture it black and gold...

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

There is still one more game to play, but like the Black Eyes Peas said…

I got a feeling.

I feel your pain.

I really do. I was there last year. My caps went out in the first round. This was me last year. But I lived through it. And you will too.

I'm serious. Wipe the F*** chocolate off your face and get up! YES - YOU!

You are better than this and your men need you. Maybe not your team but there are others out there in the trenches fighting, that need adopting temporarily at least until the end of the season. And this is YOUR SPORT. This is Hockey and a drought is coming – need I remind you? SUMMER … NO HOCKEY? At all? So pull yourself together, go back through the blog and pick a team, a man, SOMEONE, adopt-a-man, adopt-a-cause – put a stamp on it and make it YOURS and work it sister. Because come June, we are all going to look like the above so no getting a jump on things now!

Five reasons you should ADOPT-A MAN-CAUSE-ANYTHING-RIGHT-NOW-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-HOCKEY:

1. What else do you have going on? I mean really? Seriously. Tell us. Because we would know. NOTHING. Huh. So? what are you waiting for? If you need suggestions. We have some.

2. There are some very ELIGIBLE men available for ADOPTION. Shea Weber. Mike Fisher. The Sedin Twins. No, I am not joking here. They have an awesome sense of humor and mad skills. Joe Thornton. Patrick Marleau. Oh god did I just write that? Tim Thomas. Henrik Zetterberg. Mike Modano. Brian Boucher. Milan Lucic. Andrej Meszaros. Martin St. Louis. Steven Stamkos. Mike Green. See, I’m not even asking you to support you-know- who because I know you will from the closet and that’s OK!

how could you not support this?

3. THERE IS NO CRYING IN HOCKEY. EVER. Except if you’re Sean Avery and really, do you want to join that club? Screaming, breaking things, punching objects and being sad pandas, OK. We except that.

we'll even give you a cyber-hug.

4. If you ‘accidentally run into’ and by ‘accidentally’ I mean ‘accidentally on purpose stalking them’ –  say, Kris Letang or MAX TALBOT or Jonathan Toews, do you really want a badunkadunk butt or muffin top (even though that’s the best part of the muffin!) from all the chocolate, bon bons and cupcakes you ate? Wouldn’t you want to be in your fabulous best shape EVER?!

well hello there, come here often? wanna see MY stanley cups?

5. IT’S HOCKEY. YOU LOVE IT. WE LOVE IT. IT’S NOT OVER – YET. YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER. WE BELIEVE.

So let's kiss, make up and move on!

And lastly, whether we all like it or not, as Sean Connery said in HIGHLANDER, “There can be only one.”

my what fancy wear and BTW - pants LOVES your hat!

Hoping it’ll last…

We’ll find out tomorrow…

Marchand NOSE how to celebrate.

HAPPY HUGS FOR EVERYONE!

Timmy, you complete me.

I have to admit it was pretty rough for me there for a while.

Last Saturday, there I was – curled up in the fetal position, buried under a mound of covers, empty box of coconut milk ice cream sandwiches by my bed.

My beloved Bruins had just dropped Game #2 (at HOME) to the hated Habs.  I was left a shell of my former self.  Defeated.  Dejected.  Despondent.

The Bruins kicked me square in the gut, knocking the wind right out of me. I felt like I did when I asked a boy to dance with me in junior high and he rejected me.  It could have been that because I was a foot taller than him.  That really sucked.

Welcome to my life, people.

Going into Game #3 last night, I was cautiously optimistic. This season, the Bruins have been a slightly better team on the road than they were at home and I had hope that they could go up to Montreal and “find themselves” like a college student on a gap year.

Coach Claude packed up the team and carted them off to practice in historic Lake Placid, NY – the home of the “Miracle on Ice” and to escape the media scrutiny in Boston and Montreal.

Do you believe in Miracles??

An interesting move, no doubt designed to inspire his team to hockey greatness and perhaps absorb some of the victory vibes in the Field House.

The Bruins came into the Bell Centre needed to win this game or be faced with almost certain elimination and the scorn of thousands of Bruins fans every so hopeful that this year could be the year.  40 years is a looooong time to wait…especially in a city that has seen so many championships lately from their other sports teams.

Well, they won.  (*sigh of relief*)  They pounced on Carey Price early and scored 3 goals.  The Habs came back in tenacious fashion to bring it within 1, but Timmy Thomas stepped up and was stellar in the 3rd period. (Click here to see game highlights!)

He turned away countless shots, make great saves and put himself back on the path of redemption after two terrible games in Boston.  Chara was also back after a bout with the flu and you could tell that the team had missed his imposing presence.

So that being said I’m feeling slightly better than I did last week…but still not 100%.

Think Zdeno will share his saltines and ginger ale with me?