The Ice Bucket Challenge began in July in support of ALS research.  Read more about it here and hire Frates & Quinn for more marketing campaigns.  The movement has raised over $4 million, up nearly +$3 million over this period last year.  Everyone is doing it:  Justin Timberlake, Matt Lauer, even Chuck did it!  Now we joke around, but this is a great cause, funding important research.  If you’re able to donate, please visit www.alsa.org.

And if you’re going to start a trend, please let it involve most of the NHL in what amounts to a wet t-shirt contest.  (So you know – this took forever to compile.  I watched hours of videos.  It was grueling but I’m willing to work hard for you guys.)

Me: “No.  No way.  No way!”

Crosby Ice Bucket Challenge video. I first saw an Ice Bucket Challenge video on 8/7, when 87 accepted the dare on his birthday.  I wondered for a moment it was real, or if I’d woken up in a fanfic – A Connecticut Yankee in Sidney Crosby’s Driveway, maybe.

Now who needs a cold shower?

Since then, everywhere you look an NHL player is taking the plunge.  So here you have them, the very Best of the Ice Bucket Challenge videos.

The “This Looks Familiar”

Matt Duchene Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Does Sid’s video have two blue buckets, a shovel and a black SUV in the background?  Eagle-eyed Alison noticed this is the same spot.  Just two dudes, pouring water on themselves and videotaping it for the internet.

Matt could have at least brushed his hair for Sid’s party.

Matt woke up 4 minutes ago.

Bonus points to Matt for nominating country singer Thomas Rhett, one of my favorites (who was also nominated by Justin Moore – the singer, not my husband).

The Intern Project

We said Tavares should wear a tighter shirt – so we know Intern Jeff Skinner still reads this blog.  This t-shirt is left over from Jeff’s high school days, since we haven’t paid him for a day of work since then.  And white?!  What a flirt.  Remember when he didn’t want girls paying attention?

Team Tank Top

Lindsay informs me that ‘dude tank tops’ are very much the style in Canada.  I assume everyone there looks like an NHL player and so this has my full support.

Steven Stamkos Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Careful using your dog to up the ante here, Stammer.  You’re no slouch but he’s pretty freaking cute.

Let me tuck my chain into my tank top first.

Taylor Hall Ice Bucket Challenge video.  #TeamHallsy starts his video off so seriously, you’d think he spent the summer doing Shakespeare in the Park.  It’s deceptively tall-seeming thespian work.

The world is mine oyster,
Which I, with stick, shall open.

Jordan Eberle Ice Bucket Challenge video. Uncceptable resolution for #TeamEbs.  He’s got to keep up with Taylor!  Zach Boychuck, get a new phone right this instant.  Adorable hair-fixing though, since Jordan knows we are watching.

Especially after this is Zack Boychuck’s video.  How is that fair?  His biceps are theatrically lit by the sun itself, giver of all life!

Also sporting the Official Boy Band Uniform is, of course, #TeamSchultzy.  Did they have a conference call about what to wear?  Or does matchy-matchiness come as naturally to them?

The “Dallas Stars Really Want to Be Your Favorite Team” 

Tyler Seguin never met a shirt he couldn’t take off.  Or something he couldn’t hit on.  I swear he just invited a charitable cause and a bucket of water back to his place, and don’t stop rolling that tape.

Jamie Benn’s Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Jamie would like to take this opportunity to remind you his hair is DEVASTATING and that he’s skinny now.  (Too skinny?  A little?)  Never mind that tattoo of a graveyard on his bicep – they needed a place to bury me anyway.

Benn-d and Snap

In case you don’t love Jamie, he Tweeted the “Girl in a Country Song” video.  This is everything that’s right with the world.

Also from the Stars, Rich Peverly apparently runs a daycare in the summer – and stuns them momentarily quiet with this challenge.  They are pretty sure their moms have said not to throw stuff.

The Other Birthday Boy

It’s a shame I’ll never see #TeamSam again, because I cannot add any more teams to my list nor can I stay up late enough to watch the Coyotes.  Sam Gagner did the Ice Bucket Challenge on his birthday, complete with a cake, a beard AND a white shirt. Presents for everyone.

The NSFMyLife

John Tavares Ice Bucket Challenge video.  There’s b-roll of John then his shirt off and jumping in the pool right?  That’ll be the deleted scene on the DVD?

Is this going to be on the test?

What I really can’t handle is his deep, teacher-y voice.  If he started talking about the Large Hadron Collider, I’d faint.

That Time Gabe Wore a Shirt

Gabriel Landeskog’s Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Perhaps the quaint, old-world and presumably Swedish setting calls for a top, but frankly we’re a bit disappointed in Gabe’s efforts to carry the shirtless-boat-selfie banner this summer. He gets named captain and suddenly it’s all business and no instructional pancake videos.

The US judges give this a 6.

He’s 21,  You Guys – I Swear

And that was not me at the end with the extra bucket of water.  Promise.

Guys Chuck Likes

The Bruins should hire Chuck to shoot their videos, because their Ice Bucket Challenges are astonishingly low-res.  Remember why you don’t watch hockey in standard def anymore?  Even dearest Patrice couldn’t get good production values:

Lucic is in focus – if that’s a good thing.  He looks like the unpopular kid at Camp Anawanna.  Stand up straight, man!

Kim Bauer Did It

Oh yeah, and her husband too.  The Phaneufs Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Alison loves these guys.  I just feel bad that 24 made Elisha get scared by a mountain lion and abducted by a loner in a bunker in the woods around LA.  Jack Bauer would disown that mess.

I think we’d all be friend with Elisha in real life.

The “Of Course Patrick Kane Has a Water Slide”

He probably has a slide from every single window of the house into that pool.  (This was a life plan action item for me and Gator.  Awaiting our invitations, Kaner.)  Toews is so much fun these days, where’s his bucket?

Coach Q is My Favorite Coach

Many coaches, front office staff and even mascots have gotten in on the Challenge, but Coach Q’s laugh is the best.

My Goalie is a Banana

What can I say?  I trust this man with my GAA.  They even gave the baby a bucket, in case she wanted to party.  Marc Andre Fleury Ice Bucket Challenge video

Just wait till you start dating, Baby Flower.  Dad is ready.

Which is Better than Mr. Potato Head

Oh Jordan, we miss you around the Penguins.

The Hot Dads

“Hey, if I’m doing this, we’re all doing it.  Then we’re going for ice cream.”

Chris Kunitz Ice Bucket Challenge video.  From the man who dressed as a sock monkey, of course.  Mrs. Kunitz challenged Paul Martin – thanks, girl.  (Paul Martin Ice Bucket Challenge video)

Little Miss Kunitz says she’ll just donate cash.

Pascal Dupuis Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Dear Universe, Please make the Dupuis Family into a TV show.  They’ve already created the poster:

No idea Duper had a half-sleeve, or that I’d like it so much.

Craig Adams Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Craig used a garbage can for his ice bucket and the family wore matching gubernatorial campaign shirts.  Just saying, that’s a Harvard man.  (The shirts are in honor of Anne’s father, former MA Governor Paul Cellucci, who died of ALS in 2013.  Thanks to Chuck and Anne for update.)

Vote early, vote often.

The Overachievers

Keith Yandle (who actually has a face under that beard) went pretty big – three buckets vs. white t-shirt.  His best move was calling out BizNasty, of course.  Talk about bigger.

You know Biz loves it when we say “bigger.”  He challenged some big names too, though we bet no one does it in their skivvies.  Read about Biz getting his friends to donate their time and money to put this together here.  And notice that TMZ covered a hockey player.

The Suits

Max Talbot Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Max is responsible now.  He has a wife and a baby and if he wants to pour ice water over his head in a suit and tie he will, damn it!  He’s like Frank the Tank, you can’t reign him in.

Business in the front, party in the shoes.

Robert Bortuzzo Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Borts, what is that tie?!  Is the inflatable duck to distract from the tie?  It’s not working.  Also the shades on the duck + the white button down – this is going Risky Business later, isn’t it?  We’re going to need the extended edition Blu-ray combo pack.

This yard wants to party, Project X-style.

Almost everyone’s done the Ice Bucket Challenge.  I couldn’t include or even get close to watching them all.  Notable exceptions are Gingeroux, newly married Mike Green (yeah right, on that hair?) and James Neal.  I worry this means Nealmobile really had no friends, because no one has challenged him.  Though he is on this pretty definitive list of players who’ve supposedly participated (here).  Did I miss his video somewhere?

While we wait, check out the Tumblr dedicated to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Guys, hold me back.

This week is the 3rd Annual Jordan Eberle & Friends golf tournament for the Hospitals of Regina Foundation.  The event included a fundraising dinner called the Centre Ice Classic last night, featuring, as promised, Ebs & friends:

Bachelorette casting call, right this way.

Someone finally took our bachelor auction idea and put it to work – sort of.  People bid on spots to golf with celebrities, like #TeamHallsy:

There’s a pic of Gagner in this shirt, I swear.  

He went for $10,000?!  Does it guarantee he wears this chambray shirt? That’s $9,372.94 US dollars – @amandalitty and @jfrancesw might need some donations to reach that mark. We should do a Kickstarter campaign, yes?  Hell, this freaking guy raised $44,022 to make freaking salad!  We’d have enough left over to get something nicer better I’m kidding more expensive…

Just saying, that’s 50% more.  Those are expensive jeans.

Too bad this interview was before the auction, because I imagine the conversation would have been much more exciting after.

“Amanda and Jess just left me up there like….” while RNH gloats.

I don’t see where golfing with Ebs went for $44,023 USD, but I assume it happened because he’s got at least $1 more fair market value than potato salad.  I believe the auctioned golf happens today, so perhaps more pictures tomorrow.  Not that they could be cuter than this:

Higher-res, even cuter.

Since you’ll never get over that picture, or the hope #TeamBoyband will break into a choreographed dance routine involving folding chairs, remember this: with #TeamSam traded to every team in the League, Jordan Eberle is now the longest-serving Oiler in games played [link].  Feel old?  That’s what boybands do to a girl.

Completely gratuitous unrelated amazing photo. (source)

Now get to saving your money for next year.  Get a side job, rob a bank, we don’t care.  Save Hallsy!  Don’t make him give Amanda this look for spending all her money on nail polish when he put on that nice shirt and everything.

Enter this contest here, so #TeamHallsy feels loved.

As always, this post is tagged PUPPIES.  Because truth.

Without posting the entire Tumblr tag (Honestly, where do people find this stuff?), it’s safe to say you wish you went on to Cabo on spring break.

With the Oilers.

Puppy Bowl!

Do we want to know what happened to #TeamHallsy’s head? Presumably it was hockey-related, but I’m pretty sure he almost knocked himself out once by crashing into Ebs’ backside climbing a flight of stairs.

Nominating Amanda for lifeguard duty.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Cabo:

How big is Cabo? This was probably across the street.

And this? Docked right outside the lion cub petting zoo, I bet.

Cabo was like hockey Comic-Con last week (complete with stereotypical villain played by Raffi Torres).

Like any good vacation, the Olympic break left us tired and spent. We’re glad to have the NHL back but we’ll miss spring break, just a little.

For two solid weeks in February, you’re invited to our party.

Okay, it’s probably going to look more like this:

But the guest list is epic.  It’s  comprised of every Olympic snub – and there are some bold-faced names here.  To make sure our party lives up to the Russian’s, we’ve put our guests in charge of bringing a few key ingredients.  Consider it a gift registry without the wedding, and you don’t have to travel 16,000 miles to get to this reception.

Beer: Staal Brothers

It was a long shot for Jordan to make it, but we expected Eric to be defending Canada’s honor.  Since he can’t do it in Russia, he’ll make sure we do it here. They’ll book the jet they chartered home to Thunder Bay for Christmas, load it up and land it close.  Hope you guys like Labatts, Molson and sod because that’s all they’re bringing.

Liquor (except vodka): James Neal

Beer isn’t going to cut it for Nealmobile.  Neither, apparently, are more assists than Rick Nash has points, plus 16 goals, in fewer games.  Or better numbers since 2008.  No doubt James’ recent on-ice immaturity played a part, but growing up will have to come later.  For this we need to break out the (you thought I was going to say ‘big guns,’ right?) good stuff, skip the shot glasses and just go for it.  (He can bring his regular glasses, though.)

Vodka (and lots of it): Alex Semin

I don’t like Sasha – didn’t like him on the Caps, don’t care about him now – but getting left off the roster in your home country is awful.  Especially when he’s got a long history of representing Russia in international events.  Maybe it was due to his concussion earlier this season, but even I’ll drink to the fact it was a shame he got snubbed.  The Ovi & Sasha Reunion Show would’ve been a hit.

Games: Claude Giroux

Gingeroux thought he had this.  Normally the suffering of any Flyer makes me giddy as a Disney villain, but leaving him off Team Canada was just fickle and redheads are always welcome at our shindigs.  Based on his ability to play beer pong and cornhole with two casted, post-surgery wrists, we’re going to bet Colde can find a way to shoot around the pieces of his broken heart.  Heck, we’ll even crank the heat and make it #shirstoptional.

$5 Cover Charge: Intern Jeff Skinner

NHL’s First Star of the Week?  Good for 66.15 points to my fantasy team in just seven days, more than double what anyone else produced?  Hat tricks all over the place are awesome, but he’s still not getting in for free.

Fake IDs: #TeamEbs and #TeamHallsy

We know they’re both of age, but @amandalitty is bouncing and she just wants to know where #TeamHallsy lives, okay?  Plus we are not falling for that matching outfit, ‘No really, I’m Jordan Eberle’ trick that Nugent-Hopkins pulled the last time.

His phone: Jack Johnson

We’re prank calling Crosby all night – which will be 9 hours later there and he’ll probably answer until he blocks us and we leave amazing messages complete with singing.  These are the best kinds of messages.

Darkness: Brent Seabrook

Resident widow’s peak and most likely vampire, Seabs ain’t coming out till the sun goes down.  He slept all day, so he’s in charge of last call.

Selena Gomez CD: Logan Couture

This was his chance, you know?  Everyone watches the Olympics and there was bound to be a hockey clip during ice dancing, which people love once every 4 years.  If Logan could’ve been that highlight then Selena would have seen him and POW.  We’d be hired to promote their starring roles in The Cutting Edge 4: Ice Castles in the Ice coming out next Christmas.

His laptop: Bobby Ryan

Team USA’s biggest snub is in charge of Tweeting, Instagramming and live-blogging this party as it goes down.  Cats are allowed but absolutely nothing silver: no Coors Silver Bullet, no Patron Silver tequila, no games of quarters.

Not this shirt: Joe Thornton

The last time we partied like we were in college… well, we were in college.  We might have overlooked this shirt back then but the era of poor decision-making and Ed Hardy clothing has passed.   For heaven’s sake, there is a design on your jeans!  Give us your wallet, go tell Logan that Selena & Beiber are not back together and we’ll take care of this on Nordstrom.com.

Not any shirt: Victor Hedman

Does this party have a pool?  Victor Hedman is probably tan in February and we need a lifeguard – all these numbers that say Hedman should have been chosen make our heads swim.

Recycling Bags: Marty St. Louis

What the crap, right?  Marty may scowl disapprovingly at the pile of beer cans JStaal has crushed on his forehead, but that’s because he knows when the morning comes (or say, a 38th birthday), he’ll still be here showing these kids how it’s done.  Marty is the Last Dad Standing, so he’s on clean up.

UPDATE – Marshall: Tyler Seguin

How could I forget this?  All puppies are invited but especially if they bring Tyler Seguin.  And Tyler Seguin brings his dance moves.  (Thanks Jess!)

Jerseys, mittens, hats and flags: You 

Of course this hockey party will have hockey, and plenty of it, at all hours of the night and day.  If you saved vacation time, use it now.  While not all of our favorite players made it to Sochi, everyone from home to Russia will be supporting their country loudly and proudly.  And in some cases, other countries near their countries (maybe that’s just me).

If I didn’t pick your snubbed favorite, feel free to invite him.  We welcome anyone who brings snacks or is qualified to drive a Zamboni.

Video: CBC – Defending Gold: Inside the Making of Canada’s Team

It’s thirty minutes inside the minds and meetings of Team Canada’s architects as they deliberate who’ll wear the red and white in Sochi just over a month from now. The Honorable Stevie Y presiding.

Showing these kids how it’s done.

From Olympic camp back in August, let’s talk about something that’s more awkward that Lucic’s face in this shot – Phanuef’s cardigan.  No, I’m kidding.  I cover my anguish with humor, people!  It’s how I cope.

I’m talking about Mike Green.

Mike is not going to Russia.  There are days when I’m surprised they even let Mike go to Caps games.   His exclusion from the 2010 Canada roster was considered by many a huge snub, a year in which he had 76 points (holy shit) and got his second straight Norris nomination.  Critics pegged Mike as “too offensive” – as in point-scoring, not bothersome – when CAN needed stay-at-home blueliners.  Well compared to 2010, this season is roadkill so I think we can just look away (from my broken heart).

Don’t despair for long.  Team Canada will not lack things to make me happy.

Gah, there is a polo shirt shop in heaven and I’d like to work there.

Most of our cast of The Bachelorette (Part 1, Part 2) are here, method-acting out the roles we assigned for our show:

The Quarterback, gazing into the distance at his achievable dreams with complete disregard for that ladder’s feelings.

The Kid practicing his cursive for writing notes in study hall.

The Class Clown making it all look fun.  (PK might lose this grin when he hears them debating him later in the show.)

The Hot One, rakishly ignoring the photo of his own crazy face in the background while testing the structural integrity of yet another folding chair.

The Quiet One and other French guys being French and quiet.

The Bromance being exclusive.

Fine, you make a better screencap.

Not lost on me was this moment of foreshadowing.  I believe this is the look Crosby and Kunitz gave Neal after a certain incident involving a knee and a head and the desire to make this team.

#disapprovingPenguinstare

The look inside Yzerman’s war room is fascinating, talking about pressure, second-guessing and the chemistry required to put together not only the best team, but the right team.  I got a little nervous when they talked about specific guys: Nash, #TeamEbs, Stammer’s injury.  “They will see this!  They’ll hear you!”  It makes no difference though; on January 7, Yzerman and Co. will have us on the edge of our seats.

Who will get a rose and who will be crying in limo?  Most importantly, what are we going to buy?

Now it’s your turn: give us your thoughts, surprising snubs and bets on Superman Stamkos getting the nod.  If Stammer and Tavares make the team, Tavares won’t wear 91.  My purchase decision anxiety mounts.

Side note: It’s nice to know Canadians suffer the same trials as Americans when it comes to online/in demand TV – being forced to watch the same commercials ad nauseum.

Only kidding.  Congratulations Intern Jeff Skinner on his first career hat trick!

Look how excited everyone is!  Especially Jordan!

Especially us!

Not you, Malfoy!

And these people in the Intern Jeff Skinner Fan Club – Nashville Chapter!

(Psst: We told you so.)

Only kidding, TSwizz.  Sort of.

Forget that.  More exclamation points!!!!!  Jeff now leads the Canes with 9 goals – 6 of those in the last 4 games.  Hot streak, hot streak.

Last night’s third goal was an empty netter, but we’re not going to be picky since he doesn’t bother us about paying him to work here.  Speaking of which, that water cooler isn’t going to refill itself, Jeffrey.

First thing, okay?  No slacking off now that you’re big time.

After all, you could be like #TeamHallsy who had his 4th career hat trick last night.  Or more-than-hat trick.

Did someone bring an extra bra in her purse?  In Case of Hat Trick, Throw This.  Or did she take it off as the moment struck?  In today’s team meeting, the Oilers will undoubtedly scan the game’s raw footage for a shot of her wiggling it free under her #4 jersey.

If you want to feel even older, fall asleep during an Oilers game and know that Ryan Nugent-Hopkins stayed up later than you did.

Pre-game interview, Post-game interview

He also scored a goal in his first game back from shoulder surgery, which catalyzed the Oilers to a 4-goal comeback and shootout win.

Thanks #TeamRNH.  Next time can you do that before, say, 11:30 PM Eastern?

#TeamHallsy also had a goal because Amanda bought a shirt with his number on it yesterday.  It’s like a gift with purchase (crooked hat not included).

Pre-game interview

Of course, #TeamEbs had the shootout winner.  Not to brag.

The Oilers new coach, Dallas Eakins, stood behind the bench and freakishly resembled the 10th (and best) Doctor Who.

Now to the fun stuff.  Thanks to everyone who sent this video of the Oilers Amazing Race.  Someday I will be on the real Amazing Race, and eliminated on day 1 because I cannot drive a stick shift.  It’s a recurring nightmare of mine.

The Oilers required no such skills… just a stretch SUV to deliver them.

Horrible decision, re-think immediately.

Not that I’m #TeamHallsy anyway, but obviously we’d make a terrible pair on the roads.  At least Yakupov is a worse driver than we are.

That’s a wall.

Hey, look what is an actual thing and not just #TeamShultz!  It’s the other Schultz (Nick), though.

Our #TeamSchultz is here, demonstrating horrendous 80’s movie-inspired karaoke skills.  I qualify for ALL of these teams.

Ryan’s into it.  He’s almost got jazz hands there.

Meanwhile #TeamEbs says, “I’ll just be over here, wearing my boyfriendsweater.”

And Sam Gagner replies, “Got nothing on my Hobbitsweater.”

This one’s for Chuck, plus Lindsay (#TeamGagner – can we just call it #TeamSam?) and Alison (#TeamSchultz).  Good luck ever getting produce, ladies.  Self-checkout is not for the faint of heart.  I’d feel better if Sam wore a cage 100% of the time to protect his broken jaw.

There is, of course, a moment in this event where WUYS took over planning and art direction.  That would be the Paddleboard Competition.

Everybody wins.

So welcome back Nuge, to the game, and the Oilers to the thrill of victory.  May you be disturbingly adorable all season.

Really, stop it.  You’re 12.

Keep it up, Oilers TV and you could make a run at Blackhawks TV for our favorite team marketing tool.  Rubber duckies are a good start, but you’ve got a long way to go to top Joey the Junior Reporter.

Please note, I have tagged this post PUPPIES!

#TeamEbs took over the NHL Instagram account and used the opportunity to make fun of Molly Ringwald.

Our favorite boy band also introduced an act at the Canadian Country Music Awards.  (All the things I love – hockey, Canada, country music – in one place.)

The NHL had their Media Day and Sidney Crosby took his hockey stick to the prom (again).

John Tavares was named the 14th captain of the USS NY Islanders.  Just when you think it can’t get more adorkable, he says “heck” in his speech, wears black shorts with black shoes and just about kills us all. (Press conference |  Interview)

He also did a… workout video.  That should be Rated R.  Hey!  I am not the one who says “explosive hip thrusts” fifty times.

Proof that JT91 is the nicest: Everyone says “Tavahhhres” while John says “TavAIRes.”  I bet he never corrects anyone.

Also, the Hawks went to a Bears game.

Resulting in the best Tweet of the weekend:

(Source: @Drunk_Kane88, thanks to @Brn_idPensGrl for the send.)

The Penguins annual season ticket delivery happened.  This would need to take place with said Penguin being delivered to my house in an ambulance, then my mom could drive him home after the EMTs take me away.

As per usual, Crosby went to zero houses where anyone under 60 lives.  He did sweat his was handsomely through the attention.

What’s cuter than awkward Sid?  GENO!  I have missed you!  He is 12 feet tall and doesn’t brush his hair.  Those are some Russian jeans he’s got on too.  Who cares?!  I want to hug him.

You can see them all at the Pens website, including this moment where Neal signs a baby.

Speaking of Penguins, it’s JStaal’s birthday today.  I miss him.  Let’s all take a moment to wish the Canes a good season, and then eat some cake.

Jordan was our very first Happy Birthday post in 2010, and again in 2011.

This happened two weeks ago and I never even saw it – The Mike Green Clinic on What Shoes to Wear With Golf Shorts:

Source: Twitter

Do you think d-men like Green and Seabs enjoy seeing scorers like Stammer and Bergy in the off-season?  One more from this tournament…

More photos here.

That’ll teach me to go on vacation.  Just wait until the season starts!  I may not survive.  I’m sure there’s more right now but I must work because that Game Center Live bill is coming soon too.

(Who am I kidding?  Start that workout video again.)

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/09/10/summers-almost-gone/feed/ 12 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/08/26/team-canada-casting-call/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/08/26/team-canada-casting-call/#comments Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:48:47 +0000 http://wuys.wpengine.com/?p=17387 #CAMP may be over, but camps are just beginning.  Invitees for Team Canada’s Olympic camp were arriving in Calgary all weekend, as documented by this airport employee:

Source: Twitter

There is a space for volunteers.  AND IT IS BLANK.

Alas, the enterprise of TSN is not to be underestimated.  They were live on the scene with camera equipment, like any good reality-based programming would be.  To honor their commitment, we present Team Canada hopefuls in…

If you don’t watch The Bachelorette… well neither do I.  But I enjoy the scathing wit and hilarious nicknames of BachCap on lostangelesblog.com.  In that spirit, we bring you this season’s contestants [full video].  At first there are so many, you can only categorize them as:

The Hot One

Too obvious?  No.  One guy is always really, really ridiculously good looking.  Out of the girl’s league.  Out of everyone’s league.  You kind of hate him until you find out he rescues puppies and shovels snow for old ladies and reads iambic pentameter to goldfish.  Then you just wonder what on Earth kind of moisturizer Sidney Crosby uses.

The Married Guy

One contestant always looks like a fake.  Like he told his wife he’d be in Shanghai on business for two weeks and will only confess/divorce to being on The Bachelorette if he doesn’t get kicked off in the first episode.  To cement the role, Duncan Keith obviously has a newborn child at home.

The Confidence Guy

We don’t mean “con man” in this sense, we mean the guy who walks into a room and instantly makes everyone feel like they skipped a shower and borrowed Mom’s favorite cat sweatshirt on laundry day.  You look at this guy and wonder why you even try.  Then Confidence Guy brings you a beer, asks about your favorite book and the entire TV audience is in love with Steven Stamkos before the Bachelorette even comes down the stairs.

The Kid

The Bachelorette’s first words will be, “He’s too young for me.”  Then she’ll gush – and we mean GUSH – about how energetic, enthusiastic and positive he is, how he has less baggage and his whole outlook is rosy.  Because this chick didn’t become the Bachelorette by having a series of great relationships.  Basically the last Bachelor liked her soooooooo much that he almost just barely didn’t ask some other girl to marry him.  After that, Taylor Hall looks like freshly fallen snow.  In a Lululemon pullover.

The Sleeper

He’s cute.  He’s nice.  There’s an embarrassing on camera moment, during a pontoon boat-and-private island luau group date where she forgets his name.  He’s completely adequate in every unchallenging way, which is why suddenly there are only three roses left and this guy’s still in the room.  The he busts out his guitar for an a capella, “You don’t know you’re beautiful… That’s What Makes You Beautiful!” and BAM.  The Hot Guy’s crying the back of a limo and Corey Crawford’s on the cover of People Magazine.

The Hair

Any date involving motorcycle rides, surfing or the general blowing of a fair breeze and the camera will zoom in for a slow motion hair flip that no girl could pull of so coquettishly.  You may not remember Braden’s name, but calling him The Dread Pirate Roberts will be the highlight of your Monday night.

The Freshman

Not to be mistaken for The Kid, The Freshman is old enough to play the game.  In fact he memorized the rule book, the strategy guide, the bylaws and did ALL the homework before he was dressed a half an hour early for the limo pickup.  He’s more ready for this than the Bachelorette herself.  Just wait till the Hometown date – every mom in TV land has been screaming for the Bachelorette to pick John Tavares.

The Quiet One

A lot of guys make a lot of noise.  The Quiet One waits it out, a bashful smile here and there, and a smart Bachelorette takes the bait.  When this guy gets the first one-on-one date, none of the other contestants can even remember what Patrice looks like.  But we know.

The Bad Boy

Let’s be honest, Bachelorette.  James Neal is not going to call you back.  John Tavares will call you 57 times before James even reads the text you sent.  You’ll only answer John’s call in case that’s the very moment James calls and gets voicemail.  What if he doesn’t leave a message?  Will your phone show a missed call?  James is the first guy the Bachelorette is making out with – and no one knows that better than he does.

There’s SO much more from camp already:

• Hockey Canada Press Conference video – Sid, Shea Weber, Roberto Luongo, Bergeron, Rick Nash at the 39 minute mark
• Team Canada ball hockey scrimmage with photo gallery.
• This picture of John Tavares.
• All in their uniforms, on their way to school work.
• Everybody in shorts.  I mean everybody.  (More contestants to be introduced as The Bachelorette continues.)
• Crosby at golf.  Full length.  Oh, Stammer‘s there too.
• We are still #TeamEbs.

I could go on all day.  Thanks to Lindsay and Alison for 100% legwork on these photos.  There will be new guys, nicknames and a few will even be voted off, but you must wait until the next episode of The Bachelorette.

Somewhere in California, Sidney Crosby is assaulting pockets in a sports store where he never expected there to be a girl.

(Source: Instagram)

Somewhere in Pittsburgh, Paul Martin and James Neal are wearing matching shirts.  James shrunk his in the dryer – or he bought it that way.  Or we bought it for him.

Source: Instagram

Somewhere after baseball, James Neal is wearing plaid.

(Source: Instagram)

Somewhere on Twitter, #TeamEbs and #TeamHall are sassing each other.

Somewhere else on Twitter, Katy Perry knows what’s up.  Gabe should’ve sent her a selfie.

Somewhere on the internet, the Blackhawks are giving us the best content.

Hawks All-Access: Travel Gallery

While somewhere in Boston, the Bruins Instagram is paying attention.

instagram.com/nhlbruins

And somewhere in the future (of later today), Game 4 will probably go to overtime.  I didn’t get to watch the last two games but I’ll be tuning in tonight, hoping it’s just me the Hawks need to get another win.

How are you guys holding up now that it’s summer?

The 2013 season has not been kind to all those we love. Some teams, after these grueling months, could use a break, a tan and another go at it next year.  I’m not saying quit, of course.  Feel free to ruin someone’s playoff hopes on your way out the door! (I’m looking at you, Carolina, vs. NYR.)  You could score 3 goals, Stamkos, and maybe win yourself at least half a trophy!

Here’s to the teams we love, who still lost.  See you soon, boys.

Carolina Hurricanes

There is nothing more depressing than sad Intern Jeff Skinner.  He was so ready for this season – he grew his hair out, a girl sat on his lap, he was guaranteed more Staal-sposure.  Now he’s moping around the office, dragging his blue blankie and eating all the Whatchamacallits.

After a hot start, the Canes have lost… and lost and lost, including 10 of 13 games in April.  Cam Ward has been out so long he’s a myth, like Encino Man.  Dejected Staals are everywhere and I feel for the Hurricanes fans who had every right to expect a big, shiny, blond year out of their team.  At least they have tailgating.

Get these boys a summer, get Jiri Tlusty for my fantasy team and no, I still don’t like Alex Semin.  So there.  Just look at the size of Jordan’s skull in relation to Eric’s and pray that when you have kids, they are not boys.

More on the Canes season from the Raleigh News Observer.

Tampa Bay Lightning

If two hockey players leave the bench at the same time, and one is 23 and the other is 37, how many daisies does the mailman have when he reaches the train station?

The Bolts look at this and say: What do we have to do?!

You know I’m desperate when I start doing math:

• The Lightning offense is 3rd in the NHL, scoring 3.09 goals per game.
• The Lightning defense is 26th in the NHL, giving up 3.07 goals per game.
• A .02 goal differential will get you 2nd to last in your conference.

Marty St. Louis has 1.22 points-per-game this season.  That’s second best in his career, behind the 1.24 he notched in ’06-’07… when he was 31.  Stamkos has a career-high 1.20 points per game right now.  They account for 28% of the entire team’s points.  I’m tried of watching the epic performances of two of my favorite players go to waste.

More on the Lightning season, from The Tampa Tribune.

Edmonton Oilers

#TeamSad.  So much for my eternal optimism.  No number of gap-toothed smiles, puppy shelter visits, hilarious Cabbie videos or underage boyfriends is getting the Oilers into the playoffs this year.  We really tried though, with the collective power of our hoping.  Were we doing it wrong?

Did we not have enough matching golf outfits?  Or magic tricks?  It’s because Alison and Amanda never got their white board out to ask Schultz to the prom, isn’t it?

With absolute talent comes absolute frustration – and I could barely stay awake for an Edmonton game.  Now Molly Ringwald is having shoulder surgery.  Of all the teams not making the playoffs, I’ll miss the Oilers the most.

More on the Oilers season from Edmonton Journal.

Colorado Avalanche

When I first moved to the West Coast, I watched a LOT of Avs hockey.  They were on TV in my new time zone and hey, they won the Cup!  How else would Alex Tanguay be my lobster?  This year I haven’t watched more than 20 minutes of an Avs game, but it can’t look any worse on paper.

This is the 5th of 7 years the former Colorado powerhouse will not make the playoffs.  They rank 27th in attendance (85.2%), above just NYI, Phoenix and Columbus.  Pre-season expectations were not high, but last in the West?  Only 15 wins on the year?  They’re not gonna sell tickets off Landeskog’s Superman smile alone… at least not to anyone but us.

More on the Avs’ season from the Denver Post.

We will miss these teams and players, and hope they have better luck next season.  Also, consider this an open invitation to watch the playoffs from the WUYS office.  If Intern Jeff Skinner ‘s emotional eating leaves us any food.

Pants note: Most of these stats are from Monday, I didn’t get to post in time.

It was a big game for #TeamEbs and the reunited Kid Line in St. Louis!  Jordan had two beautiful goals.  He almost scored his first NHL hat trick on a breakaway, but he and Taylor heard  @amandalitty was having a tough day and let #TeamHall score it on the rebound.  That’s what friends are for.

Remember when Ebs told Cabbie that his To Do List included, “Get in a better fight than Nuge” this year?  THAT WAS A JOKE, RIGHT?

Goals, like drinks, make guys think they can do crazy things. 

The Oilers got all 3 goals on the first 7 shots – they had only 19 in the game, compared to 43 by St. Louis.  YIKES.  That’s why the three stars were:

With so much talent, it’s tough to believe Edmonton ranks 12th in the West and 22nd overall.  The Kid Line has just 19 total goals on the season.  The Oilers are tied (with NYR) for 26th on offense, averaging 2.34 goals per game.  Their defense is middling (18th), giving up 2.75 goals against/game – but the bigger issue is shots.  Edmonton gives up more than any team in the League – 33+ per game.  That’s a lot of reliance on goaltending and a lot of time in the wrong zone.

We need more of this:

.gifs by toewslake.tumblr.com

Throw in some Schultz and Gagne, Yakupov and Hemsky, shake and voila: boyband hockey hugs.

.gif by cali-canuck.tumblr.com

I said it before the season started and I’m saying it again: The Oilers are going to make the playoffs (for the first time since ’06 when they lost in the Cup final to Carolina).

Claude Giroux named Captain of the Flyers

Of course, you know that already [Press Release].  Personally I would have gone with Briere (shocking).  Can our Flyer fan friends weigh on Claude’s locker room leadership type?  It’s certainly good marketing sense to make your highest profile player captain – see Crosby, Toews, Landeskog.

I hope someone pranks him by putting a G on his jersey Saturday.  G for Giroux and C for Crosby… this is going to be The Perfect Game.

Here’s The Ginge with his short hair covered by a hat.  What do we think?

More importantly, what is this girl thinking?

Yup, same thing we are.  She even gets a question in… complete with the half blush/smile that G would earn from anyone with two X chromosomes. [video]

This girl rules.  Smart, hockey oriented, not impervious to masculinity.  We want to be friends with her.  She can keep us informed on Claude and the Flyers while we spend the whole time mumbling curses and boiling bats wings in the office basement.

Update: You guys are quick.  That is Sarah Baicker, who covers the Flyers for Comcast Sportsnet.  You can follow her at @sbaickerCSN.  We suggest you do.

Until Saturday, capitaine…

Oh, you read all the way to the bottom and thought I might not mention Jordan Eberle!  Mwahahaha.  I got my Ebs shirt in the mail yesterday… and Ebs got the A in Edmonton.  He’ll be the Oilers full-time alternate captain, while Taylor Hall and Nick Schultz share the other one.  [Interview Video]

That’s my boy! #TeamEbs 

You #TeamHall folks can submit a question here, for Taylor’s “Ask an Oiler” feature tomorrow.  Someone ask for his all-time clumsiest moment, it must be a whopper.

Almost as exciting as Ebs’ NYE hat trick – 3 goals in 3 minutes! 

Showoff. [Post-Game Interview] #TeamEbs

Not to be outdone, Molly Ringwald leads the entire World Junior tournament with 11 points in 4 games.  Team Canada will face Team USA in the semi-final match tomorrow.  USA beat the Czechs 7-0 this morning, so RNH better bring it.

(He had 1 goal in Canada’s 2-1 win over USA last week.)

Like RNH, you could wake up to this message tomorrow morning.  Only it will be 4 AM here (Eastern)!  The game is on NHL Network.

(Hands up if you programmed this into your alarm clock already, followed by Billy Idol’s “Rock the Cradle of Love.”)

Sorry hockey, there’s no way I’d get out of bed for anyone at that hour.

Oh wait….

“SloVAKians.”  Hahaha.

(There are also Subban and Ovi wake-up calls.  Ovi’s new fiancee probably hears that every day!  The girls are patiently awaiting a Jonathan Toews wake-up call, if such a thing exists.  It would be far more effective for getting someone INTO bed, really.)

There’s still one holdout, she’s over there.

The OKC Barons have won their last five games.  They’ve outscored their opponents 24 to 11.  Two of those games were against the Charlotte Checkers, who now lead the South Division by just two points.  The Barons are now second, and just four points off the AHL Western Conference Lead.

Lindsay texted me a shot of every page of this feature. She’s a hero.

In those five games:  Ebs has 5 goals, 5 assists and 5 points for Gryffindor since this mustache is really a thing.

RNH has 3 goals and 3 assists but you still have to look on an angle to see anything in the Movember department:

Hallsy has 1 goal and a whopping 10 assists.  It has not helped his mustache.

Although it is reflected a little in the glow of his recent award:

Barons defenseman Justin Schultz has 2 goals, 5 assists and some pretty decent facial hair going.

Photo by my birthday twin, @stat19!

Schultz  leads the Barons in overall points and even has a budding bromance with his roomate, RNH.  We are a little jealous!  They are thoughtful and sensitive and went to see Life of Pi together.  Pack him up when you head back to Edmonton, boys.

While Intern Jeff Skinner is not playing in Charlotte, he does not appreciate us rooting for their demise.  He came pretty close to swaying us with:

Shut up, this is awesome!

Not to be outdone, the Barons have a Star Wars Night (April 6) AND they have 80’s night on December 14.  In which none of these guys can play because they were born after 1990.  That’s how it works, right?  I’ll wear my slouch socks and you wear your side ponytail.

.gif by johnntavares.tumblr.com

 Uhh… .sorry.  What was I saying?

Oh yeah.  You can watch the Barons, or any other AHL game, live online at AHL TV.  Single games are $6.99 but honestly, at this point we should probably buy the whole season.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAYLOR HALL.

(That sound you hear is Amanda and Jess crashing to the floor.)

Since Taylor’s living and playing in the US, his 21st birthday is a big deal.   We hope he makes good decisions, or documents everything on social media.

Either way.

If you focus all your energy on something in a sci-fi movie, you can move it with your mind.  If you focused the combined energy of this blog in the last three weeks, you could float yourself the Oklahoma City Barons.  It seems only fitting that Taylor makes this blog by popular demand.

Taylor’s off IR for that shoulder injury and scored 38 seconds into his first game as a Baron on November 2.  He also took a late-game 5-minute major + match penalty for a check to the head.  The penalty was reversed and Taylor was not suspended.  He has 3 goals and 1 assist in 5 games for the Barons.

If the NHL ever comes back, Taylor will start the 2013 season on a 7-year, $42 million contract.  That’ll fill those seats.  Selected #1 overall back in 2010, he has a career 49G and 46A in 126 games over two seasons with the Oilers.

He’s also part of our favorite present day boy band:

They’re even well-respected by other musicians, such as Snoop Dogg.

When he’s not playing hockey, Hallsy and his Barons teammates ride their bikes around Oklahoma City.  BIKES.  I know Middle America isn’t the healthiest place on Earth, but I find it hard to believe the fangirls can’t run faster than he can pedal.

Taylor’s a hit on Twitter (@hallsy04) – seriously, he’s so sassy he should blog for us.  We don’t care if he can’t spell.  He’s also on Instagram.

You can follow his Movember, um… progress.

Things around here have been quite heated in the Eberle vs. Hall Dream Date Debate.  While Chuck and I agree (gasp) that we’re Team Eberle, we are beginning to see what you see when you see this:

Or this:

And okay, this:

So… new life plan, anybody?  We hear the cost of living is really reasonable in Oklahoma City (with money left over for sock puppets arm warmers).

Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

As “Job Experience,” Jordan humbly mentioned that he’s s a spectacular hockey player.  He has 25 G/30 A this season, another in the Oilers rebuilding campaign.  Edmonton is last in the Northwest Division (50 points), but since it’s Canada they still sell a lot of tickets (19th in overall attendance this season), and even more Eberle, Hall and Nugent-Hopkins jerseys.

He even sits like Mike Green.

He also had “Awards and Recognition” – Jordan’s first-ever NHL goal, scored in his debut game last season, was voted NHL Goal of the Year (on Facebook) and TSN’s Play of the Year.

So really, Ebs is perfect for us.  Under “Qualifications,” he listed being 21 (because we have standards), 5′ 11″ and Canadian with excellent eyebrows and that gap-toothed smile.

He even attached photos of some amazing derp faces.  The rest of the time he’s…

Jordan provided only one reference, his epic bromance with Taylor Hall.  Epic as in ice cream dates [video] and living together.  Hallsy lets Ebs wears sweatpants and not even make his bed for a TV shoot.  They’re like baby Nicky/Mike or Toews/Kane.  He’s already a WUYS workaholic.

In the “Related Skills” portion, Ebs said he didn’t have a Valentine this year [video], but if he did he might take her for fondue.  If that’s not an attempt to charm us… how about puppies?

We did a background check and came up with a trove of hilarity.  I could post it all, but  Americans can spend their 3-day weekend Googling Eberle videos.

Hahaha, this one’s my favorite. Does he appear to be running in jeans?

Oh hey, speaking of jeans… he borrowed these from Crosby.

Included with his resume were a #14 jersey for the 2012 All-Star Game and an offer to pick us up for work in his truck.  Are those perks? Do we have to report them on our taxes?

No stops at Stamkos' house.

Chuck and I are having a staff meeting today to decide.  We obviously have to offer Eberle some kind of job – he’s not going away anytime soon.

Follow Jordan on Twitter – @ebs_14.

Behold reason 2,369,067 to wear a helmet.

Warning! Warning!  This may make you queasy.

Taylor Frankenhall

You are begging….nay –  PLEADING with you all.  Please, for the love of Dear Lord Baby Jesus and Tim Tebow – wear your freakin’ helmets!  We don’t care that it is just warm-up.  We don’t care that it might mess up your luxurious hockey flow.

Do you want this to happen to you?  Do you want to have railroad tracks on your melon?

No.  I didn’t think so.

We just can’t take injuries like this.  When you hurt, we hurt.

So, please listen to your mother.  Wear your helmet.

Taylor didn’t listen to his mom.

Look at how that turned out.

The Oilers Are Not The Canucks (from Nov. 19)

It’s not easy being a Chicago fan in Vancouver, but last Wednesday, I was at Rogers Arena when my lovely Blackhawks put the Canucks on the bus and took them to school. It was a thing of beauty.

 Thinking that I had finally broken my curse, wherein I cannot have nice things such as my favorite team beating my least favorite team, I packed up my Toews jersey and headed to Oil Country. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the frigid beauty that is Alberta?

"Eat your heart out, Fauxnadians!"

After their sexy, sexy win in Vancouver, the 1st-placed Hawks were coming to Edmonton following a rough 5-2 loss to the 27th-placed Calgary Flames. The Oilers, despite their hot start to the season, were looking to end a 4-game losing streak which had landed them in 13th place.

The oldest player on the Oilers roster. (Seriously though, this is my nephew... could you DIE?!)

Here is where I add my disclaimer: I like the Oilers. A lot. I’m pretty sure they are my second favorite team. So, if what was about to happen had to happen, I was glad that it was to the Oilers.

As any good fangirl will tell you, warm-ups are the best part of the game. Usually it’s because you’re allowed to stand next to the glass, even if you have nosebleed seats. If you have have not experienced the warm-ups, I highly recommend it. Because this happens:

Oh HAI Patrick Sharp! Whatcha doin'? Oh, just having a chit chat with the equipment dude and being the HANDSOMEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE? That's cool, please carry on.

And this happens:

"Hhhhhhnnnnggggghhhhhhggggnnnnhhhhh."

Actually, let’s have more of that, shall we?

I suffer from a condition wherein the sight of Jonathan Toews in the flesh renders me a catatonic mess. That is the only thing stopping me from climbing the glass.

Oh, and did I mention I had BALLER seats?

Yes, I *may* have PVR'd Hockey Night In Canada just to look for myself on TV.

Well, as I’m sure you all know by now, after the puck dropped, all H-E-Double Hockey Sticks broke loose. In short, the Oilers played well and the Hawks crapped the bed. It was pretty embarrassing. To the point where my cousin came back after the second intermission, tossed a Taylor Hall jersey in my lap and said “You better put this on.”.  Anyway, Canadian beer is a lot stronger than American beer, so here is what I can remember:

Toews takes face-offs like a boss.

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is an ultrasound, but he is really, really ridiculously good at hockey (5 Assists!)

Corey Crawford always looks like he’s going to cry, but when he’s ACTUALLY about to cry? It is quite possibly the saddest thing in the world. It was heartbreaking. If I was going to climb the glass for anything, it would have been to give him a hug.

Don't worry Crow... you're getting on a plane to Vegas in an hour. Go. Have a beer. Look at some naked ladies. You'll feel better. I promise.

Taylor Hall is hot. He shouldn’t be – he looks like an orangutan and a goldfish had a baby. Everything about his face is wrong, but somehow so right.

Ladies love a hatty!

Finally… you guys… Jonathan Toews watches the KissCam!

I wish I could find a nice girl like Kaner did.... *sighs*

Thank you to the lovely ladies of What’s Up, Ya Sieve? for letting me guest-post on their FABULOUS blog! Usually I just spout my nonsense in 140 characters or less on the Twitters (@jfrancesw) and this was my very first attempt at a blog. I hope it was up to the awesome WUYS standard!