Compared to Sid, Hank and Toews all doing the casual leanback, these guys are more nervous and eager.  They’re all sitting forward, shoulders up – they even mimic each other’s postures with their hands.  A therapist would have a field day with all the mutual admiration and trying to fit in going on here.

Is this a restaurant? Is this on the menu?

Of course their outfits match too, light button-downs all around.  If this were a dinner, the waitress would be spilling water on everyone.

No kidding, that’s where I bought my shirt!

So, John’s teeth aren’t really fixed.  Claude didn’t bother with his false tooth.  Tyler is perfect, because he’s Tyler – and he’s really likable in this interview.  It’s possible I never considered that before.  Sorry other guys, but the Western Conference is taking top marks with only half the seats at these roundtables.

[Note from Chuck: Oh, Tyler. Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. I’m a sucker for a guy’s hands and the way that he was talking with them and resting them oh so casually on his biceps throughout the interview – killing me… killing me softly.]

Charming. Hide your wives and girlfriends.

John, of course, is so, so square.  How can you not love this guy?!  ‘Mild mannered’ doesn’t begin to describe it.  No one on his team showboats.  No play haunts him.  According to Giroux, he is a terrible trash talker. He says “fustration” (no ‘r’) and takes any opening to dig at Giroux.  He obviously combed his own hair for this interview and probably has a coat and tie in his bag just in case.

Focus on the sound of my voice.

Jana (@jstefanc) said it best: “It’s so weird to see a teacher outside of school.”

From the archives, a picture of 14-year old John in media training:

This’ll sound great on TV.

[Note from Chuck: No media training for Tyler?  That explains so much. Did the Bruins not have one?  Had I know, I totally would have Katniss-ed that.]

For all the ginger glory, Claude needs to decide what he’s doing with this hair.  Long or parted.  You can’t pick both, not on one head at the same time.  We love the curls and the color but it’s time to commit.

Looks fine under a helmet!

The best part of this, the most revealing difference from the other interview, is how they all reach for the snacks the moment it’s over.

Cheetos for everyone.

Cheat day!!

We could go for more of these, if Strombo is free.  Or he could join in the Google Hangouts that Lindsay, Alison and I do where we watch two hockey games a piece and all talk over each other in shouty caps.

Up first: Sid, Hank and Tazer.  This is a good interview.  I had never seen Strombo before the NHL Awards and apparently he gets some flack for softball-ing questions, but I liked this.  It’s funny, insightful and touches on some interesting, oft-unasked things.  There’s enough room for a little personality to sneak in, elevating it just above sports cliche into a more natural conversation.  Strombo for Commissioner.

Now forgive me while I take this respectable interview and evaluate it superficially. (Future subtitle of my autobiography.)

You say: Crosby, Lundqust, Toews.  I say:

I may have had some sugar today.

Followed immediately by:

Everybody’s a critic

Meanwhile Sid looks like if he inhales deeply enough, that shirt will split.  It’s also navy blue – dark, yes, but are those black pants?  Oh boy.

Let’s talk about how great we are.

Henrik, in full custom couture (duh), puts on a handsome expression.  Wait, that’s his only expression.  It serves to mask the amateur hour he surely sees before him: dressed down and violating a cardinal contrast rule.  Hank thinks about being helpful, then remembers who won the Art Ross Trophy and is now in his division.  The King decides to let the Kid take a powder on this one.

You can never be overdressed or overly Swedish – er, close enough.

Having never heard Miranda Priestly’s speech on shades of blue, Sid doesn’t care.  He’s thinking about the interview, specifically hoping Strombo doesn’t bring up superstitions.  Which Strombo does.  Look how perfectly still Crosby sits – he’s frozen, like a petrified tree.  You can hear him thinking, “Don’t look at me, I’m not here.”  AND THEY DON’T!  What?!  His publicist must have been off-stage threatening the director with a high heel to the face if he cut to SidCam at that moment.

I’m a perfectly normal kind of crazy.

Across the table, Toews just basks in his own open collar coolness.  He’s laid-back, nursing the end of a tan and saying “heck” with no hint of awkwardness.  If he’d been American, he’d be a star quarterback.  It doesn’t even matter that Jon can’t shake the “Captain Serious” nickname, because all of his stories end in championships.

Over here in the Western Conference, with my Stanley Cups…

Notice how full the prop snack bowls remain throughout.  No one even snuck a pumpernickel chip out of the Chex Mix before this thing started.

Weakness? Never heard of it.

Sensing the interview coming to an end, Sid does what Sid always does: he finds another gear.  He makes those short-sleeved forearms count.  Next year, everyone will be wearing a polo  – except Henrik, of course.

Thinking about tiny pockets.

In all seriousness, I love their answers, especially Sid’s, on the You Can Play campaign question.  No one over-explains.  They just speak with quiet confidence as if it’s a non-issue nd anyone who has a problem with it will have to answer to these guys.  It must be great comfort to a player, present or future, thinking about taking that step.

Next up: Giroux, Seguin and Tavares.  Or a lion, a tiger and a baby otter.

Don’t listen to them, John!  (Okay, maybe a little.)