Sean Avery – What's Up, Ya Sieve?

Don't Let the Door Hit You…

Pants — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:25:33 +0000

Sean Avery has been placed on waivers by the Rangers. It’s like the episode of 24 where Kim Bauer went hiking in Los Angeles, got cornered by a cougar and had to be rescued by a hillbilly in a bunker. If she were real, she’d still be dating this jackass.

Read all about it on Puck Daddy.

Will someone pick him up? According to the NY Post it would cost a team $1 million to have Avery for the year. His salary is $4 million: the Rangers would pay $1 mill and the Dallas Stars are still paying $2 mill. That’s right, two teams would pay a combined 75% of Avery’s salary to NOT have him on their rosters. Ask The Situation how it felt when Abercrombie offered to pay him not to wear their clothes.

Avery’s effectiveness as an annoying bastard is undeniable – he rattles other teams – but he draws tons of penalties in the process. To the equation, teams must add the likelihood Sean will do something off the ice that speaks louder than anything he does on it. I just don’t see the point of Sean Avery. I think any number of guys can do what he does (we’ve got “your mama” jokes galore) with a lot less headache.

This is real. I didn't Photoshop in these glasses.

So with two teams already putting their money where Avery’s mouth is… what happens now?

Throw Away the Key

Pants — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:18:13 +0000

So Sean Avery is a moron. In other news, water is wet.

Avery was arrested early this morning for shoving a Hollywood, CA police office who was responding to a noise complaint about a loud party at Avery’s house [link, and yes I picked the TMZ one on purpose]. He must have had The Hangover turned up all the way because we can’t imagine anyone hanging out with this prize. He was taken to jail and bail set at $20,000.

John Buccigross, the most effective fact-tweeter in the business, pointed out that Dallas still pays half of Sean Avery’s salary. They’re paying $950,000 a year to keep him away. Can they get a portion of his bail, like an economic stimulus package?

It’s a shame, really, because we applaud Sean Avery’s efforts on behalf of legalizing gay marriage in NY. It actually made us like him for a minute. But supporting a good cause has not shaken the stupid out of him. Being an NHL instigator and being a moron are not the same thing. NY1 News Video here.

Hockey Fans are the BEST!

dawncherrie — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 18:19:17 +0000

Puck Daddy did a Hockey Fan art contest on his blog and here are some of the winners. They are truly works of art which makes me think that next year, we at WUYS should have our very own contest but it should be limited to Ovi, Sid, Geno, Mikey and a few other players just to keep it interesting. Anyway, for your holiday viewing pleasure, in case you haven’t already seen these:

Say It Ain't So… Please! and Other News

dawncherrie — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 05:31:35 +0000

This is just for Pants

Holy Whining Sidney Crosby! Mr. Cherrie gave me the shock of my life

i am all the capitals defense - it's a tough job

when I got home from work tonight tellingme he heard rumors of a trade between the Washington Capitals and the LA Kings. Pants can attest to the fact that I complain like Sid about the lack of defense on the Caps. The great, fabulous Mr. Green is their Obi-Wan Kenobi. Pants like his hair, I love what he does on the ice. I’m like Princess Leia every game in front of the TV – “Help me Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope!” Repeat and rinse … Also, they need more than one goalie – Neuvy baby, I’ve been turbo voting for ya for the All-Star Game but can you say, Kiprusoff? Varly will implode – trust me.

repeat after me, i am a wall, nothing get's by me - nothing.

i'll be your huckleberry

Rumor is they are willing to trade Fleishmann, Fehr and Semin for Scuderi. Oh HELL-NO! BUT … if you throw in Drew-Baby, I might consider it then I could have a Ovi-Drew hoagie – can you say YUMMY?

On to my next tib-bit-o-news: the blogs and hockey sites were on fire tonight with captions like, IS SIDNEY A DIRTY PLAYER? LOL! Really? He slew footed some dude in the Rangers game tonight (see video) and it makes the news. What should have been the REAL HIGHLIGHT was Sidney’s slew footing of Sean Avery in the third period of the same game. Since when did Sid get all slew foot happy? I am going to nick name him Slew Foot Sid from now on. He’s got it down pat. But a word of advice from a publicist Sid, don’t whine that you can’t be ‘dirty player’ because you only have 15 penalty minutes. You don’t want to tarnish that halo.

On to the next fabulous video for your viewing pleasure is the Chris Pronger “Sean Avery” penalty. I don’t think this really needs any more explanation. Just watch and learn my friends. Watch and learn

‘nough said.

A Better Way For Fans To Handle Their Aggression

dawncherrie — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:49:10 +0000

I was educating myself on the past history of fans vs players. I am also not necessarily referring to the Vancouver incident – I don’t want anyone hurt at a game – not a fan or a player. But perhaps agro fans should stay home and work it out privately than bother the rest of us who pay good money to see our boys play. I don’t think hockey players should be subjected to belligerent fans who feel they can berate them, spit on them, pour beer on them, scream obscenities and otherwise irritate and treat the players as less than human because they paid to watch them play or because they have them as a captive audience in the penalty box. Not cool. Can’t we all just enjoy the game? I know … kumbaya.

And now, a therapy suggestion for those fans. And no Pants, I did not create this. I don’t have the technical capabilities to but it’s a suggestion for those who should stay home and work it out. Privately – Please. Sean Avery – that means you too! HA!

And so it begins

Pants — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 17:44:21 +0000

Happy pre-season! Nine games were played last night, many featuring younger and 3rd/4th line guys who hope to make the teams and become household names in two weeks. A few highlights:

– Alex Tanguay notched 2 assists and was named first star against Vancouver in mini-game, split-squad action. Woot!

– Ducks players who weren’t on the ice were around the arena meeting fans. Ryan Getzlaf, get me some nachos. (photos)

Beers are on Getz.

– No one really knows what a Blue Jacket is. It apparently refers to “Ohio’s rich Civil War” history, but is not a direct reference to anything except a Shawnee American Indian chief who may have been a captured white man raised by the tribe. Almost as confusing as why Columbus has a hockey team.

I was thinking about what to post today, and all I could find were 20 videos of Captain Serious boring me to death while I wondered how much he gets an hour for mowing lawns in his neighborhood. Because you know he does. Probably for free if you feed him PB&J with no crust and some Sunny D. So instead I found this, dedicated to Dawn Cherrie: it’s laugh-out-loud funny, after which I want to put Sean Avery in a box with a wolverine and throw him into the Hudson River. [The New Yorker in me loves this. Je suis désolé, Maxime.]