My pretty pony comes up with the shoot out score!

I told Mr. Cherrie, the Penguins have won because everyone knows Lou goes down. And even Kevin Weeks is in love with Kris Letang – “He’s silky…” WTF? Does he know something we don’t? Oh well, I’ll share him.

Daniel gave me this new suckie on the first day of training!

Mike Duco formerly of the Florida Panthers got traded to Vancouver. If you were him – you’d think JACK POT – right? Going from a basement dwelling team – well – before they spent a boat load of cash and made some mad trades – to an almost Stanley Cup winning team. Not a bad place to be traded too – right?

Now consider that fact that you may have tweeted some of the following things during the play-offs:

Can't send a 'please ignore' out after that one!

He also posted one that said, “HA … solid night Luongo.”

So it’s your first day at training camp with all your new friends. What’s a boy to do? I bet he didn’t write the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” But I would guess he needs a copy of that stat because Luongo wasn’t too kind to Kesler after the Olympics but he did forgive him. He kind of had too. Kesler is way too hot not too.

It may not be charm, but it might work!

But Duco? Let’s hope he has charm coming out his ass. He’ll need it. Good luck buddy on your first day. I hear the Sedin’s have a wicked sense of humor.

Well, they got that win…and then some.

They mauled the Canucks with their big, sharp claws.

Bear’s Victory Dance is well deserved.

Bruins play best when they are infuriated.  Aaron Rome gave them plenty to be P.O’d about after his late, blind side hit on Nathan Horton.  Horton lay on the ice, motionless, his right arm frozen as if he was still clutching the stick.  His eyes were fluttering as if he was having a petite mal seizure.  Terrifying to watch.  I don’t think that there was a single hockey fan, Bruin or Canuck alike, who wasn’t praying and hoping that NH18 would be okay.  Horton was transported to the hospital strapped to a stretcher.  Rome was tossed.  Bruins got a 5 minute PP.  Although they failed to capitalize on the man advantage, it seemed to ignite a fire within the belly of the bear. Players said that during the 1st intermission, the Bruins rallied around their injured teammate and vowed “to win one for Horty.” 

The Killer Bs came out of locker room, impassioned and determined to avenge their comrade-in-ice. 11 seconds into the 2nd, Andrew Ference (the original Green man) put the Black and Gold on the board with a slapshot from the point…

And the Bruins never looked back.

They poured it and managed to solve the goaltending puzzle that is Roberto Luongo.  Apparently, the key is to go high and go glove side.  Bruins beat him 3 times on the glove side and the other goals (with the exception of Kesler’s own goal) were up around Luongo’s ears. 

Apparently, the Bruins can’t score on the PP but they can shorthanded.  2 SHG.  They keep producing like that, we’ll gladly welcome those penalties!

Bruins had 7 different goal scores which shows the depth of the team’s forwards and their skill with the puck.  Marchand’s goal was highlight reel material and the little Motoscooter’s post goal celebration rivals the joyful exuberance of Dawn’s future 2nd husband, Alex Ovechkin.

They are way too happy to pay any attention to the moron flashing them...

Tim Thomas frustrated the Canucks with his in-cre-ab-leh saves and feats of flexibility.  He even managed to lay a hit on Henrik Sedin that would make Bill Belichick proud.

Protecting the house.

 If this guy doesn’t win the Vezina, than every GM in the NHL needs to have his head examined.  Sure, we might me a *bit* bias, but seriously.  Have you been watching him play?  Tim Thomas = Beast of the East.

 The Bruins D shut down the SedinBots, Kesler, Burrowes, et al with authority.  Getting Shawn Thornton into the lineup was a stellar move by Coach Claude.  It’s was like waking the bear from hibernation.  Who was grumpy.  And hungry. We’re all Seguinistas here but in this situation, it was best to sit the kid and go with the heart, toughness, and SCF experience that  ST22 brings to the team.  Plus he talks trash like nobody’s business.  Constantly yapping away, that one.

I could go on and on about all the things that the Bruins did right and all the things that the Canucks did wrong, but frankly I’m just mentally exhausted.  Energy must be conserved since I’ll be in the stands for Game 4.

I’ll try to tweet but I don’t know if my hands will stop shaking enough.

but then I can't post this photo of brad pitt and THAT would be a shame

Does this mean that everyone on the Canucks are really werewolves? I present the following evidence. They may be more Underworld and less Twilight but it doesn’t mean they aren’t anymore effective. Werewovles kick ass. And I love me some Lucian but not Luongo. I’ll still dance under the moonlight with van morrison and I’ll always be an american one in London.

manimal - did anyone know there was actually a show on tv called that?

Ok, so you can tell I've been watching the Underworld marathon on syfy.

this really pained me to make this but he's the only one that matched up. the things I do for you all.

It’s 2-0 kids. Werewolves, I mean Cancucks, which is probably secret code for werewolves shapeshifting into wonder-twins activating into Alexander Burrows making two amaza-balls goals after draining Bergereon of his hockey magic. Beware. They are tricksters.

the food chain prevails ... nom nom nom ...

Bieksa the Berserker was the only one who knew where the biscuit was on the ice … with a freaky deaky goal in double OT and down go the Sharks. It’s 17 years to the day that Vancouver claims the Western Conference title in a double OT as well and will face either Boston or Tampa Bay for Lord Stanley’s Cup. I’d call it Freaky Friday but it’s Tuesday so go figure!

foxy friday alum ryan kesler - who was injured snapped this one by anti-nemesis for a biscuit

But riddle me this? I get that Vancouver was excited about this, but good gravy  why would you drop confetti on the ice before the presentation and then have your players out there skating around? Are you TRYING to trip them? Kesler was already injured and Luongo has a hard enough time stopping the puck as it is, he doesn’t need a greater handicap!

this is the only dance move i know, the robot, get it, sedin-the-machine, the robot, oh, if I have to explain it's not a joke.

So since I picked them for the Western Conference winner winner chicken dinner back in September, here’s a little ra-ra for your cha-cha Sedin-machines and Foxy Ryan Kesler and Bieksa-Lenta:

Now that you won’t be able to get this song out of your head, it’s the battle of the Super Twins, Count Von Count-anyone-can-do-this-job VS. Jumbo Scrimp (Oxy-Maroon), I’m-still -Cryin’ Patty Mar-where’s-the-loo and Logan Haute-Couture. Who will win the West-Coast Battle for the Cup? I called Vancouver in the Wayback Machine.

capt vs capt (i think it's henrik - who knows for sure!)

On the East Coast we got the Not-so-Jolly-Yellow-Giant Chara, Sir Thomas-the-Tank-Engine and i-blow-pucks-out-my-ass-for-goals-bergeron VS stampeding Stammers, Little-Man Louis and Bat-shit-crazy-face-sort-of-hot-in-a-weird-way-guy-the-butcher. I called neither of these and would have never dreamed of either of these but in reverse psychology and covering my bases. I’m going with Tampa Bay and if they win, I’ll be glad and say I called it. If they lose, I’ll say I helped Boston because every team I pick, loses! So either way, I’m covered! Sound practice!

nom nom nom ... tasty goalie treat.

So I took my own advice and found a new friend! Not that I’m jumping ship on the Caps – but everyone here knows- I HEART GOALIES! And what’s not to love about this other Finnish snack PEKKA RINNE! I can now have a Miikka Kiprusoff-PekkaRinne sammy with a Cherrie in the middle! And that’s a lotta a goalie!

He can ROCK a suit. A must for a FOXY FRIDAY dude. Check.

I just love saying his name … PEKKA RINNE! say it with me: PEKKA RINNE PEKKA RINNE PEKKA RINNE!

For a long time I had to ask Mr. Cherrie, “Did I just hear them call him pecker?” or “Did they just call him a pecker? Because that’s mean.” and Mr. Cherrie would have to remind me that his nickname is Peks. Not Becks. That is another tasty sports treat.

Intimidation. Check. Luongo. In your head yet? I think so. You can't do this!

So this week’s Foxy Friday is a whopping 6’5″ and 205 lbs. That’s a whole lotta Fin. He was drafted 258th over all. Not a catch initially but a diamond in the rough and what a diamond! He’s SO AWESOME? HOW AWESOME IS HE DAWN? He’s so awesome EVEN HIS STICK CAN MAKE SAVES!

He is up for the Vezina Trophy this year and is leading Nashville to their first Stanley Cup Play -Off!

He's out-doorsy too! Can you club it in the head and cook it too?

So here’s to my new Foxy Friday Friend, PEKKA RINNE and I hope he goes far, but not too far. Just enough. He can win the Vezina and give Luongo a good spanking. That would make Dawn a happy girl.

I sent our intern Jeff Skinner to interview JR for some play off wisdom, since there is still a restraining order out against me!

Ah .. not that "D" ut JR is your reading...

OK. lost my train of thought, DISCIPLINE, yeah. That means not taking bad penalties, sticking to the game plan, not letting the other guy lure you into a fight (Drew – see another “D” that’s actually a two-fer) so the other team scores two goals while your fabulous ass is sitting in the penalty box or get into your head – oh say, Luongo, while you give snotty interviews after the game. I never had much respect for you in the first place, but I’m glad you showed the world what a class act you are when you give an interview telling everyone that your back-up is just as you good as you! SRSLY? Patrick Roy would NEVER had said that. In fact, when his team was down, he told them not another puck would get in, and it didn’t.

Capt. Come-Back!

WUYS play-off dance routine! Get ready girls. I feel a flash mob at Letang's house!

DD - double defensive threat but needs some 'discipline'! naughty boy!

MG52 - patron saint of sensible footwear - at least in public!

for once, i'm not looking at his face!

Lastly, making the DREAM come true. How many of these guys have dreamt of holding the cup over their head? From backyard ponds, streets, local rinks, with their friends, brothers. Making their sisters play goalie as they pretend to re-create iconic goals from past Stanley Cup play-offs as they dream of being Gretzsky or Orr or May making ‘the goal’ and then running around the neighborhood.

They tore open a 5-0 lead in the second period on 2G and 1A each from Duncan Keith and Marion Hossa.  Patty Kane added one and thus went Roberto Luongo into the cold dark night for the second game in a row.

I need earmuffs for this.

Can you believe it?!  I’m trying not to get too excited, they’re still one win away from the brink of destruction.  But what a week it has been.  Duncan Keith is absolutely tearing it up, carrying the load for injured Brent Seabrook and plenty of other weight.  (And the ladies LOVE him.)

You know what HRH Queen Elizabeth II wanted for her 85th birthday, which was also yesterday?  Besides to stop hearing about the Royal Wedding and being asked to approve plates with Wills’ face painted on?

Duck, duck, SOUP.

Well she got it.  Now let’s see if we can get another one Sunday at 6:30 PM, when you’ll all be cracked out on Peeps and jellybeans and running around your house screaming about Tazer Cats.  We’re here for you.