Yes, his name really is Comando.

We kid you not.

After 10 years of failed attempts to build a new arena on Long Island, the New York

Islanders finally have a new home – in Brooklyn.

Wait, what?

How could a team called “Islanders” play somewhere other than Long Island?

Technically, Brooklyn is the westernmost county on Long Island. Don’t believe me? Check Wikipedia.

The Islanders still exist? Yes, they do, though they haven’t been relevant in decades.

The Islanders have been a laughingstock in the league since the mid-90s. Poor ownership and poorer management (read: Mike Milbury) led to losing season after losing season.  Attendance faltered, but not because the team had no fans. Some boycotted to send a message to ownership that they weren’t happy with the direction of the team. Others stayed away because the team flat-out sucked.

But one thing everyone agreed on is that the Islanders’ home, the Nassau Coliseum, is a dump. If you haven’t been there, consider yourself lucky.

Islanders’ current owner Charles Wang tried his best to keep the team in Nassau County.  He proposed numerous plans for a new arena, even offering to pay for the construction himself.

A no-brainer, right?

Nope.

Due to politics and the stupidity of the decision makers on the Island, every option was shot down.

With the team’s lease up in 2015, it appeared the Islanders would be goners. Other cities made overtures to lure the franchise, including Kansas City and Quebec. But Charles Wang was determined to keep the Islanders in the New York area, and Brooklyn answered the call.

Beginning in 2015, the Islanders will share the Barclays Center with the Brooklyn Nets, signing a 25 year lease – or, in terms an Islanders fans can relate to, the combined length of an Alexei Yashin + Rick DiPietro contract.

So now what? Will Jay-Z be named GM?

After all, this team hired their backup goaltender as their GM.

But seriously, this is a win-win for everyone involved. The Islanders can finally operate as a professional franchise. Revenue should improve with a modern arena to welcome fans and a more favorable lease for the team. The Islanders can maintain a reasonable payroll, and free agents may sign with the team now that they have a decent place to play and players know the team won’t be shipping off to some unknown city at any given time. Heck, this team may actually make the playoffs sometime this century!

Now, if we can just get this lockout resolved before 2015…

Sidney Crosby is out again with concussion-like symptoms.  He passed the ImPACT test but says he doesn’t feel 100%.  In this case, we appreciate the caution and honesty.  And the hilarious idea that he could be less than perfect.  He’ll be keeping also concussed Kris Letang company in the press box.

Zdeno Chara sprained his knee Saturday in an injury that apparently looked worse than it was.  Coach Julien says he’s day-to-day, though doubtful for tonight vs. Los Angeles. [link]

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his injured groin.  I could make so many jokes if I weren’t crying.  Nicky used all the tissues and I’m wiping tears on my sleeve now.  Mike is skating and his spirits are high (a Twitter-verified fact), but he has played in only 8 games this season.  The Washington Express had a big, sad story on him today [link, page 9].

Claude Giroux, possibly the only ginger human I don’t like, is out indefinitely with a concussion.  He was injured by friendly fire on Saturday when Wayne Simmonds’ knee caught his head as Simmonds attempted to jump over Giroux’s fallen body.  [link]

The Islanders activated Evgeni Nabakov from injured reserve yesterday; apparently his groin injury is healed.  Good thing because Rick DiPietro (go BU) is out with the same problem. [link – and why did the Sacramento Bee pick up this story?]

Intern Jeff Skinner owes a few dollars to the Liar Jar, we think.  It was reported Friday that Jeff had “flu-like symptoms,” while everyone thought he might be concussed from a hit he took vs. EDM on Wednesday.  Coach Muller says they’re wrong, but Skinns is questionable for tonight vs. Toronto. [link]

Don't try to distract us! We are really worried!

Sabres Mike Weber, Paul Gaustad and Patrick Kaleta are returning to the lineup, which still leaves them with approximately 212 injured players. [link]

Foxy Friday Mike Richards gave his first interview since sustaining a head injury (unofficial concussion) on December 1. [link]  Even after the hit he can’t stop talking trash and getting in people’s faces.

Brian Gionta (BC sucks) has missed one game with a lower body injury, and is expected to miss tonight.  The Habs currently have 8 (hundred) players out of the lineup. [link]

The Cancuks will get Dan Hamhuis and Cody Hodgson back tonight, leaving them with 10 other injured players.

AND…

Last but not least...

Calgary’s Alex Tanguay had the flu. He’s better.  That’s my lobster!

Seriously, he and I have the same reaction every time he scores:

.gifs by allie874.tumblr.com

Nealmobile is now tied again with Cartman for the NHL lead in goals with nine.

In a weird move, the Islanders pulled Evgeni Nabokov at the end of regulation and replaced him with Ricky DiPietro’s beard for the shootout (grooming classes sadly not offered at BU).  Apparently Nabokov’s lingering lower body was acting up.  DiPietro gets hurt every time he sees a zamboni, but he survived last night.  He just didn’t win.

Just like Brian Wilson did...

Nealmobile did miss in the shootout, but Geno had already stuffed one down DiPietro’s throat.  Malkin had 2 G/1A on the night for 5 points in 5 games.  The guy looks like he’s having so much fun out there.  If he can stay healthy, Neal can stay hot and we can get the Crosbot back… well, we might just be kissing something shiny at the end of the year.

one punch johnson

Evidently Brent Johnson’s back-up back-up job should be golden glove boxing because the ex-beauty contestant Rick DiPietro is now out 4-6 WEEKS with a fractured jaw. Great googley-moogleys! One punch Johnson they call him from now on and I bet you he’ll get a wide birth in the Pen’s locker room.

I doubt he'll be doing this again for a while

won't be looking like this either

Pssst… Brent. I have a HUGE favor but don’t tell anyone. If there is a bench clearing brawl on Sunday, could you please make a beeline for Varly? I know, I know, I’m a Caps fan but well, ya know. I hear you have a wikkid left hook and one pop is all I ask and word has  it, that’s all you need. But if any0ne asks, Pants said it, not me.

come a little closer so I can see you better

While Cookie took a dive after a tap from DiPietro, Johnston called DiPietro out and then the fireworks began!

 And this was a real grown up, punch throwing, John Wayne, big-boy, throw-down Pilgrim and poor Rick DiPietro got the worst of it! One punch from Brent Johnson and DiPietro dropped like Ovi on Kris Letang on a Sunday morning! The best part was seeing The Flower about to pee his drawers when Johnson skated off the ice! Because you know Flower would never dust-up his mug. He uses his mouth, not his fists.