Capital letter so you know it’s important.

That’s MY name. On the FRONT ROW of the WHITE HOUSE event with the PENGUINS and the CUP and POTUS.  Yesterday was amazing!

The Moore Sisters (no relation) pretending we are calm.

First, we got to the White House, where I apparently did not set off any security alerts. Good thing they don’t read this blog. After having our IDs checked, bags x-rayed and bodies metal detected by extremely friendly Secret Service agents, we were sniffed by a bomb dog who I didn’t even get to see! I bet he was cute. I got over that when we entered the fancy State Floor antechamber and spent 45 minutes pretending not to edge ever closer to the main door. Mario walked by. I acted cool. No sense in getting tossed out before the show.

The door to somewhere Presidential

When doors opened, there was the Cup, shining like a diamond on the stage.  We walked past seats reserved to Members of Congress, and there was my name on practically the closest seat in the entire event to the Cup. Don’t ask how I got it – my Fairy Godsister made it happen and now I owe her. I don’t know what could repay this. Organ donation? And not an organ that humans have two of and can spare one.

Always bring a redheaded friend so you can find yourself on TV.

We marveled at this fact for a good long while, taking pictures of/with Stan (that’s what I call him now that we’re friends who’ve spent time together.) Several active duty servicemen were on hand to ensure that we people didn’t hug touch the cup, since it was just sitting on a table like it wanted to validate your parking ticket.

Who are these really important people in the front row?

After the band played “Fields of Gold” by Sting 26 times, the team was announced. The audience stood and they guys streamed in, dark-suited and not a one of them looking like they could punch your lights out. Every woman in the room moved her wedding ring to the opposite hand. On either side of me, friends asked, “Who’s the one with the hair?” only they meant different guys – Hagelin and Letang. No Sid yet.

When the applause and brief “Let’s Go Pens” chant died out, we all stood awkwardly in silence. For a long time. It was like a Catholic wedding full of non-Catholics who are unsure when it’s okay to sit back down. Then the band finished the only other song they know and the President, Bettman, Burkle, Mario and Sid were announced.

No zoom was used in the making of this photo.

Obama went to the podium. Mario and Burkle took his left, and Bettman and Sid took the right. Right by the Cup. RIGHT BY ME. The Queen of England’s didn’t have this good a seat at Will & Kate’s wedding.

What does he do with all these jerseys?

Obama’s speech was great. Of course he has the best speechwriters in the world, but they hit the nail on the head with the hockey jokes and Pens’ inside references, and POTUS delivered it like he spent last season watching ROOT Sports and reading WUYS. We could not have written it better ourselves! And every time he looked toward the Cup or Sid, he was looking right at us.

POTUS making sure we behave.

After the speech, the Pens did the jersey presentation, then brought the Cup back to the group for a photo. Which meant I got to see this in more scope and detail than an IMAX 3D movie:

The Trophy. And also the Stanley Cup.

When time machines are invented, you know where to find me.

Obama’s first and last Stanley Cup Champs.

The President shook some politicians’ hands, waved to us as if we’d catch up at happy hour, and headed out… leaving us all standing awkwardly again, waiting for permission to leave. Or confirmation that no one would be tackled for moving. I kept my seat for fear that Secret Service had, during the event, Googled the people in the front row. The team was eventually released to exit, walking past us and the Cup one by one like the eveningwear portion of the Miss America pageant. And then, briefly before we left, it was just us at the Cup again, like old times.

Here’s the full video:

This was quite the kickoff to the 2016-2017 season. I blindly insist my team will win the Cup every season, but this year, I say it with confidence. With hope. And because I would really like to attend this event in October 2017, and watch Hilary stand in front of Letang, Crosby and Co., look right into the camera, and ask Bill if she should hire any interns.

Make it look heavy, they’re taking photos.

PS: If you read this before 2:03PM, I made some edits. Remember on Sex and the City, when Carrie knew she really liked the guy because she couldn’t remember what he looked like? Well I was that excited.

I know. We have been everywhere except in front of our computers lately, or honestly in front of TVs watching hockey. Who vacations in the spring? Fools! I looked at my calendar and all of a sudden:

1. It’s almost April.
2. The Penguins have 9 games left.

I AM ALARMED.

It’s my own fault, except for the part that is the Penguins’ fault for losing 5 of 6 including one OT game. In March. I would have felt implosive rage except I was on the beach reading Eat, Pray, Love for the third time, so I trust you guys felt my share. Now, it’s time to…

Looking at the standings makes me want to barf. Trying to figure out who’s got in-conference games, games in hand, four-point games… someone hold my hair. I know it’s a selfish panic, because at least the Pens are currently in playoff standing. It could be worse.

I love Chuck, but man, I hate the Bruins so much and it’s every woman for herself down the stretch. I’m jumping over dead bodies like I need to beat a zombie to Terminus.

Note: The Bruins are not dead, but who the &$#@ thought Ottawa would win seven in a row? Sometimes, you just want to:

Anyway, I have my own problems, and they look like TWO MORE GAMES VS. THE FLYERS. That is high drama and TV ratings gold, but holy hell. My head might spin clean around. I can’t even comprehend the Rangers being first in the Metro – and by eight points! Islanders, you had one job!

That is not the job I’m talking about! GAH.

So here we go, down the stretch, with claws out and no mercy. Please let the Penguins pass the Isles, the Caps make the playoffs, the Rangers lose every remaining game, Crosby win the scoring race and Tavares need a hug afterward.

You guys with us?

Jeez, is anyone else hungry? I could stress-eat two who pizzas right now.

Penguins and Rangers series tied 1-1

The Pens had a shaky first period Friday night and got themselves down 2-0 like they think every game needs to be crazy a la Round 1.  No thank you – because it doesn’t always work.  The Rangers won in OT.  Just as well I was on a Twitter ban and only talking to Alison.

Sad Brad scored on his birthday. I hope his ice cream cake melted.

Last night, I was at a dinner and trying not to check the score.  Go home and watch the whole game, right?  Ha!  Zero will power.  I did pass my phone around the table for independent verification of the score, then had more celebratory sangria.  I watched the game afterward – fast-forwarding through Pens’ penalties, which was pretty much the entire first period.  Nisky for roughing – in hindsight, I can love that.

Incoming Geno hug

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Still no goals for Crosby or Nash.  (See what I did there? I almost hope you don’t, it’s so bad.)  At this rate, they’ll find that missing plane before one of these guys scores.

Want to see my Art Ross Trophy?

Blackhawks lead Wild in series 2-0

Friday night’s game was tied 2-2 until Patrick Kane decided it was time for this goal:

If this blog had audio, I’d whistle.  That’s so good it’s worth another goal, which Kaner scored 8+ minutes later to put the Hawks up 4-2 and shut the door (won 5-2 on an EN).  Sunday afternoon, playoff hero Bryan Bickell extended his point streak to five games with 1G and 2A.  Remember how many points he had last year?  17 (9G, 9A) in 23 games.  He’s got eight points in eight games so far this post-season.

Must. Have. Points.

Patrick Sharp didn’t have any points in the game (he had 1A on Friday), but he wore these shorts and we think that counts for something.

Somewhere Toews can’t find his shorts.

Bruins and Canadiens tied 1-1

After PK Subban’s double-OT winner last week, the Habs were up one game to none.

BeardWatch

Remember Boston lost the first game of the last series too, then adjusted and won four straight.  They got back on that track with a come-from-behind 5-3 victory Saturday, which I watched from the elliptical runner at the gym.  I can go a lot of miles fueled by my dislike for Brad Marchand.  That said, four unanswered goals in the third period (one EN) made the B’s look more dominant that the scoreboard showed.

“Ha, little man.”

Kings take first game, lead Ducks 1-0

I wish this series could be weekends-only, so I could stay up for every game.  It was worth the late night Saturday – I caught just the 3rd and OT – to see Marion Gaborik tie the game with seven seconds left.

God, that is SO exciting when it’s a) your team or b) you don’t care who wins!  Gaborik scored again in OT.  I still have the Ducks taking this series, but the Kings are going to make me look stupid every time I don’t pick them.

Five in a row, and counting.

Tonight the Penguins and Rangers are back at it, this time in NYC, and I will be glued to the TV and (trying to stay) signed out of Twitter.   Late night it’s Game 2 of Kings vs. Ducks.  It promises to be really exciting and also excellent for your productivity at work tomorrow.

Must… watch… hockey…

Sid was interviewed on CBC After Hours, which is always filmed in a hallway.  I keep waiting for someone to knock over the Gatorade cooler in the back.

Sid admits to being competitive and even fighting with his sister.  Adorable.  I doubt he sits on her and farts like my brother used to do, but hey.  Maybe this is why we didn’t turn out to be sports heroes.

Finally, the moment we’ve been waiting for: they pick a Twitter question about Sid’s skincare routine.  They even joke about the entire interview building toward it, this secret of the universe and drug store aisle…

AND HE LIES.

Look at that face.  “Nothing,” he says.  Fine, be that way.  Your hockey bag is full of SPF 60 moisturizer and we are not fooled.  Now someone ask these other questions because we can definitely make Sid blush again.

The rest of Saturday’s late night attention was directed toward Kris Letang absolutely punking Brandon Sutter into ending up fully naked on TV.  I don’t know how you could have missed it, but you can Tumblr/Google if you must.

Poor BSutts, he’s never gonna live that one down.

Words to live by from fake Paul Martin.

(In case you have the urge, please don’t link to the BSutts picture in comments.  #hockeyporn is a hilarious hashtag for unintentional commentator gaffes but let’s keep it to that.)

Large, hi-res versions are on the website along with a few shots of other teams. People have asked if she’ll have prints available for sale.  She’s on Facebook too.

God, don’t you just love hockey?  And wish you had longer eyelashes?  And feel relieved that no one will ever photograph you this close up?

Maybe it’s just me.

I’ve seen this one, but never with a credit.  She should definitely get credit.

I wish I had photography skills.  At this range, I’d have trouble keeping a hold on the camera.

Thanks to Heather Weikel for letting us know about these!  Thanks to Carmen Mandato for taking such amazing photos.  (I added a copyright to all of them – please be responsible with other people’s work!)

First I asked Twitter to nominate candidates.  Then I picked a guy who only got one vote and declared him the winner anyway, because he’s from my home state and he plays for my team.  Is it Nepotism? No.  It’s America.

Brandon Sutter had a good week.  He got some goals, some hugs, some wins.  He even got confused for his dad, which if you’re a Sutter is a big deal.

As you know, he is also not Jordan Staal.  The subject of much weeping into a bag of Fritos during the lockout has become instead one of joy for Penguins fans.

Pick us up, swing us around.

Sutts played the last four seasons with the Hurricanes – including three stints with my hometown AHL Albany River Rats.  Brandon, you’re already Foxy Friday, you can stop with the flattering me. (Don’t stop.)

He was traded to Pittsburgh during JStaal’s wedding like a cake with someone inside, waiting to jump out.

So far he has 8 G/5A in 23 games this year.  He’s playing primarily third line center, though with Malkin out everyone is everywhere for the Pens.  It doesn’t matter.  When Brandon ends up alongside Neal, all James has to do is flinch while Sutter buries it:

When he’s on the ice with Crosby, he might not even pass.  He might just win the game himself.

How’s that feel, eh?

What else? Brandon is 24 and was born in NY (though he is Canadian) on Valentine’s Day, no less.  He’s tall and honestly too skinny, I worry about him getting broken out there.

According to the Tumblr rumor mill, Brandon is also recently engaged. It’s no wonder when you read that he keeps his apartment neat [link] and, well…

This trade has been a win for the Penguins, who’ve been winning a lot of games lately.  Sutter looks pretty happy about it too.  Here he is answering Twitter questions from Pens fans:

The Pens play the Rangers tomorrow afternoon, the rematch against Chuck’s Bruins on Sunday.  Sutter’s 2-goal comeback game will not be forgotten by the Bs.  They host the Caps tomorrow.. wait, why am I not in Boston this weekend? How dare Chuck be away on a weekend like this?

I guess it’s better, we don’t want to fight. GO PENS!

Side note: 200 people (okay, 5) voted #TeamGagner because apparently we don’t do enough for the Oilers around here.  Duly noted, ladies, duly noted.  Sam will get his day.  A few other guys got multiple votes and I’ve filed them all away.

You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew.  My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago.  You know, the one where they get dressed up and try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor give us something to blog about.

While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.

Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job?  Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin.  Here’s my resume.

Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.

Kris…

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr.  Revel in the awkward.

Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950’s diner – on skates.  They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine.  So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease.  They could pull it off.

(Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey.  The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

Unless you think this is hockey:

Yes, you.  You jerk.

No I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

 I do support this, of course.  Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”

Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard.  People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.

My phone could hardly refresh fast enough.  Wore the lady behind me right out.

And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion?  I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants.  Duck and cover.

I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.

Sorry, Sad Ginger.  (NO I’M NOT.)

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ!  Having a year!  2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead.  [CBS Sports]  He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.

The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis.  If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night.  From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly?  13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

Yeah, that’s right.

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/03/08/skates-plates-prom-dates/feed/ 8 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/01/31/drop-it-like/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/01/31/drop-it-like/#comments Thu, 31 Jan 2013 15:38:51 +0000 http://wuys.wpengine.com/?p=14580 In this season’s first episode of the Penguins series “In the Room,” you can learn all about Joe Vitale, the very short pre-season and other fascinating hockey-related things.

Then forget them all in the last 10 seconds.

The next thing Sid will have to pick up off the floor is me.

You can watch the whole episode here.  The Crosby Bend & Snap is here (gif) or here (very end).  Haha, I said ‘end.’

The Pens face the Rangers tonight, with matching 3-3 records.  Pittsburgh lost an awful – so bad that Crosby’s jeans couldn’t fix it – game to the Islanders on Tuesday.  New York squeaked out a 2-1 win over Philly that cost them captain Ryan Callahan, who hurt his shoulder grappling with none other than Max Talbot.  Luckily for the NYR, Cally will only miss 10-14 days [link].

Pittsburgh has lost 3 of their last 4 games, while New York has won 3 of 4.  Their first meeting of the season ended in a 6-3 Penguins win that bounced Lundqvist in the second period.

James Neal scored two in that game vs. NYR… and only one goal since.  Maybe since it was tight t-shirt time, he’ll get back on the board tonight.

Do these shorts make me look fat?

Dear sweet Mother of I Don’t Know What I Did to Deserve This but your girl here was apparently on the REALLY REALLY NICE list this year, and Christmas is a little early.

I screamed when I saw these.  My boss came running and found me face down on my desk pointing at the monitor.  She mumbled something about a “dorky white guy” and left me hyperventilating into a bag of Reese’s Pieces.

“These are a few images from a recent shoot at Longue Vue Country Club of James Neal of the Pittsburgh Penguins for Travis Mathew Apparel.” – Seth L. Williams Photography

Go to the Travis Matthew site now and buy more presents for everyone you know.  Hire Seth L. Williams immediately for all events.  Give these people your money, they have already given us the goods!

Endless, glittery, cupcake-flavored holiday hearts to @svenglass for sending this.  You are my hero.

LOOK AT THAT TATTOO!  Did I just say I don’t like tattoos (re: Mike Green)?  LIES, ALL LIES!

I love it.  I don’t even care what it is.  I will put it on the flag of the country I start when I win the lottery, buy an island and create my own hockey league.

Nealand.  Now accepting applications for citizenship.

James, don’t also start wearing tight pants.  Unless you’re going to call me on that phone right now (202-000-1818), I cannot handle any more physical description or idea of description or basic general approximate estimated information.  Or anything to do with your pants.

Ah, f&%$ it.  More pants!

Sweaters too… don’t leave me any chance of walking away with my wits intact.

This is so autumnal, so back-to-school that I really want to play flag football with accidental, full-body tackling.  Possibly in the mud.  Anyone else get that?

I can’t go on.  I’ve run out of semi-coherent things to say and all I hear is the sound of a cash register ringing in my head.

That’s it.  I’m getting coal and Flyers tickets next Christmas, but it was worth it.

Someone should check on me in an hour, make sure I’m still breathing.

Again, all these photos are from www.sethlwilliams.com.  They deserve a case of wine or a wagonload of gold bars.  Bless them, every one.

Oh the East.  I really want Carolina to make this one… Intern Jeff Skinner playoff reports, people!  If the Pens can please stay where they are instead of switching with TB, that will please me too.  Or they can pass the Flyers and see from the top spot.  (They won’t.  But I get the giggles just thinking about it.)

The Flyers and Caps can both clinch Division titles tonight, under the right circumstances.  Here’s hoping circumstances are wrong.

This West mess just gives me a stomach ache.  For starters, HELLO SAN JOSE SHARKS.  Logan Couture and Foxy Friday Ryan Clowe have not let us down.  Could this be the year Chuck finally gets to see Jumbo Joe through the playoffs?  Lots of people are talking Sharks for the Cup.

And the Blackhawks. It’s that inevitable action movie scene where some fool ends up clinging to a cliff ledge by the fingernails, feet scrambling for purchase on the sheer rock wall.  Just hold on, boys. Hold on and we can start all over again next week.

Phoenix, Los Angeles and Nashville can all earn that coveted little X next to their names tonight.

Are you ready for the playoffs?  For running home the second work is over and pressing your face to the TV, the glorious drama of endless overtimes, all the Ovechkin jerseys I’ll have to look at on the Metro?  I’m ready.  I’m ready for the Cup, baby.

Here’s all the math on who gets in if who loses and if you wear green while eating a burrito [link].  It helps if you wear the hat:

One-point-twenty-one...

– Pens Open Practice

1+ hours of puckhandling drills to the tune of twenty little kids chanting “We want a puck!”  Letang tossed a puck to us – but it went to the adoring 9 year old birthday girl with the “I Love Letang” sign.  What do you mean he was aiming for her?

– Missing Max Talbot at Cheesecake Factory

If we’d joined @rebelheart87 and her crew for lunch, we’d have seen Max at the bar.  Instead, we were at the chocolate factory meeting the Chocolate Cup.

– Luxury Box at CONSOL

We know people who know people who are AMAZING and made sure we had the best weekend ever.  Chad’s mom, you are a hero.

– Shootout Win

The game was not great (someone, ANYONE go stand in front of the net, eh?!) but a shootout win certainly is exciting!

– Named My Car

I made a promise at the start of OT that if the Pens won, I would name my new car after whoever scored the game-winner.  Technically it was Kovalev, but I don’t like him.  So I went with James Neal who scored in the 3rd round of shootout to end the game!

on the Caps most wanted now?

However, I do have a great quote from BB of the Caps about Backstrom from his EPIC showdown hair on hair scrap with Letang on Monday. See, Nicky B has not missed a game in his entire NHL career which would be 307 games! Impressed? I knew you would be. And even though the Hot Mop out of Pit fractured the Hot Mop from Sweden’s thumb, Nicky B. is still planning on playing tomorrow because according to BB, “I’m saying he’s playing tomorrow. He’s fine. He’s got a sore ouchie that’s not preventing him from playing. He’s a tough kid.”

mikey may be kissing nickys boo-boo and more if he misses a game

So all the hot hair is not just covering access to brain matter or keeping their heads warm, it evidently is covering a 90% mental desire to play hockey – I was never any good at math – whatever. Too bad all that hockey gear covers like 100% of all that hockey body hotness! If only we could get them to play the All Star Game naked! Someone get me Brendan Shanahan on the phone NOW! I have a brilliant idea for next year!

I know, right?

Dawn will be wearing the aforementioned Ovechtrick head-to-toe ensemble.  And she’s bringing me Caps gear.  I might even wear it. At the very least I have consented to a red & white hoodie (from BU, gotta keep some of my dignity).  But I ask you… how did this happen?

The WHAT you say?

And at the beginning of March, I am moving to Maryland.  The fantastic Mr. Pants made my day today by getting us  tickets to the Oilers @ Caps on March 9. Date night!  I am so excited.  Mr. Pants has also discovered the joys of Caps hockey in HD (for free!) at our new apartment.  And my new office is 1.5 miles from the Verizon Center.

Noooooo...

Fidget probably won’t even play in San Jose, since the Muppets are still banging around inside his brain.  But I will  probably cheer for the Caps – or at least not against them.  Is it loyalty to Dawn?  The urge to defend against someone throwing debris at her Ovi-clad backside?  HBO’s 24/7? Or is this blog turning me into a Caps fan?! Just a tiny little bit only during non-conference games?

This is not my happy face.

Somebody get Crosby – I’m going to need an exorcism.  This cannot be allowed to go on.  I still want the Caps to lose, I’d just prefer if they do it in the post-season and to the Pens.  I’ve never lived/worked so close to a team and it has to be my mortal enemy?  I’m going all Annakin Skywalker over here.

PS: The Caps scored 7 goals to beat Anaheim (who had 6) last night.  Did they save any for Dawn?

til death do us part...

So when TMZ reported that Mr. Duff’s Mercedes something or other was being repossessed and he has refused to pay for it or give it back, I had visions of that show on A&E or Tru TV – REPO! Which would have been totally awesome! I could see the little pug nose leprechaun sitting on his hood with Hil in the background screaming how humiliating it was and that huge bleach blonde pulling on Mr. Duff’s legs as he kicks and screams and tantrums.

Mike would have met his match

Adding insult to injury, TMZ reported that Mr. Duff must had married Mrs. Duff for her money – OBVIOUSLY – because she is raking in those bucks NOW. I’m sure those royalty checks from Disney and that pay cut he took to join the Penguins keep her stocked in bon bons for sure.

HOWEVER .. all is not so in the Mr. Hilary Duff household. Mrs. Hilary Duff is not as dumb as we all thought. Mr. Duff is heir to The Brick furniture dynasty in Canada – a 500 million company. Yes, 500 million dynasty. So I would guess that Daddy bought the gaudy babble on Hil’s finger, if not her as well for baby boy; bought Mr. Duff’s way into the Penguin’s locker room because baby boy wanted a ring – and not Hil’s ring although I’m sure they probably take turns wearing it. This would also would explain why baby boy could afford the pay cut too.

I knew there was something rotten in Denmark, I mean Pittsburgh, and this time it wasn’t Sidney! Go figure!