Geno’s pal Max Ivanov, Kris Letang, some guy I don’t know and Evgeni Malkin.

Letang is always going for it on Halloween, though we must point out the Mad Hatter is not a prince.  Disney, yes (so close!), but next year, let there be an Aladdin costume with his name on it.  Geno went to the School of Vampire Standing, and I bet his English sounds the same with those teeth in.

Sid is dressed as Rocky, apparently.  I haven’t seen that movie in 15 years, but he’s said before it’s his favorite film.  Imagine if his favorite movie were, say:

TROY

That gladiator costume a few years back was not even close.

TOP GUN

Still waiting for a photo of Sid & BSutts as Maverick & Goose from last year.

FIREFLY?!

Best Halloween nerdjoke of all time.

Okay, I’m getting carried away.  Here is your reference for Sid’s costume, and I’ll go on assuming that it’s some kind of challenge issued to the Flyers.

Which way to the stairs?

All in all, Rocky has nothing on the real costume winners of the evening:

Paul Martin, Beau Bennett, Geno, Robert Bortuzzo and Nick Spaling.

So many thoughts fighting to be my first thought! Borts shaved his beard nooooooooooooo! but it’ll be back by lunch tomorrow.  Should guys like Borts & Beau, so oft-injured, really be wearing platform shoes?  How is this not in their player contracts?  I have no idea what Nick Spaling’s face looks like, but we’ll know him now by a sliver of side-thigh.  Tough luck if you’re in Pittsburgh and needed white face paint for your costume – it’s sold out.  Also, how does anyone go to the bathroom?

Please say they watched Role Models over and over to prepare:

Mentor this.

Thanks to @Jrho for pointing us toward Max Ivanov’s Instagram for more photos.  Can we please give Chris Kunitz a 100-year contract so we have 99 more Halloweens to look forward to?  Last year, sock monkey.  This year when he scores a hat trick, everyone throw scotch on the ice.

Boy, that escalated quickly.

The Blackhawks always have the best couples costumes – see last year for reference.  This year they continued to raise the bar.

Photo from 25Stanley.com

Bryan Bickell’s rabbit isn’t quite white, but we get what he means.  (No, I didn’t get it at all, but Vanessa did!  He’s the March Hare and I need a refresh on some of these films.)

Photo from 25Stanley.com

Andrew Shaw and his girlfriend must know that I am going as Peter Pan this year, they wanted to make me feel cool.  If only my photos could have an incredible, awkward, derp-perfect photobomb by RoboToews.

I. Am. Fun. Now. Binary Solo!

I wish for one day the Hawks website would make that Toews’ roster photo.

Shiny pants, Jon.

Send us more Halloween photos when you see them, including yours if they are hockey-themed!  We’ll be here working on the candy corn.

Allow me to share my unpopular American opinion: I am pro-Canada when it comes to Olympic men’s hockey.  I don’t care if the NSA turns their cell phone recorders on me, but my heart goes with my favorite players on their biggest stage.  We Americans win a lot in every Olympics.  This one time I am okay with sharing.

That said, I’d like to see the US win silver every time or gold if Canada’s out.  I am excited to see which Americans will represent our country in Russia – it makes me want to watch 80’s action movies (or Miracle).  The Team USA roster was announced yesterday after the longest Winter Classic in the history of long things.  Chuck and I, miles apart and minutes from starvation, implored them to hurry.  Then they trotted out the kids in the jerseys and we were stuck.  Kids, they get us every time!

I can’t find video yet, but one kid almost fell.  You knew that was coming.  Then one kid was a girl and  I wasn’t expecting that.

Here’s the roster (alphabetically, not as line predictions):

Plus the worst-kept secret in hockey this week, the USA goalies:

NHL Network Analysis of the roster with bonus cold-weather fashion “do’s” featuring Kathryn Tappen.

My thoughts:

NOBOBBYRYANBOOOOO.  Cats of Instagram are wailing pitifully in alleys across America tonight.  No more jokes about finishing second, or at all.

Any combination of Parise-Kesler-Kane will henceforth be known as the SAS(S) Line, for Smile-Abs-Smile.

All-Pens defense pairings give me the squees.  And I think they know the coach.

Of course we have to give it up for Shattenkirk on D, pride of Boston University.

Finally, someone please explain Phil Kessel to me.  I am going to start nominating him for makeover reality TV shows – the sure way to get Americans interested in something, it could be a blistering marketing idea for Team USA. We already have  “before” photo:

AMERICA.  For shame!  Why would you release this photo?  For something that looked worse than your jerseys?  You need a publicist.  I will work for tax breaks, Columbus Day off and your continued overlooking of my crush on Canada.

Phil seems like a really nice, shy guy – he overcame cancer for heaven’s sake!  He should be able to overcome these image issues.  In October he bought a suite, brought 24 child cancer patients to the game and SCORED THEM A HAT TRICK.  Take that, walkathons!  I am convinced that hiding behind this terrible haircut and penchant for wearing the same colorless suit to everything is a guy we could Foxy Friday.  There are 34 days until Sochi.  Let me at him and I’ll bring you the next American Express Olympics tear-jerker commercial icon.

Foxy Friday: Paul Martin

Paul missed two games to injury, getting back in the lineup on 11/15 with an assist in the Pens slump-busting 4-1 win over Nashville.  But Paul wasn’t done helping me out personally after just one game.  He’s not a halfway kind of guy.

That’s Paul with the first goal on Wednesday night vs. Washington, assuring that I would not look a total fool in front of my Capitals friends.  It nearly sent me tumbling out of the 400s in my Crosby jersey because I jumped up so fast (@raedanda may have pushed me a little).

It’s been a good week for Paul, who reportedly will find himself on the Penguins top power play unit tonight vs. the Islanders.  It’s a big deal to replace Kris Letang, who QB’s Pittsburgh’s man-advantage and has 71 career PP points.  After a few rough years and endless trade rumors, Paul Martin is having a good year. [link]  Since Paul had been good to me this week, let’s examine a few other things he’s good at.

Looking pensive:

Wearing glasses:

Looking pensive while wearing glasses:

Age appropriateness:

Being American:

Being vaguely embarrassed by the style decisions of youth:

Making sure we’re okay when our boyfriend leaves us for another team:

Bringing us a new boyfriend for distractionary purposes:

Spirit Day:

Getting a tan:

Just kidding.  How about making breakfast?

Paul’s Twitter Q&A

Puppy cuddles:

People cuddles (a guess, based on this awesome #boyfriendsweater):

Paul, what do you think?

There you have it, a Foxy Friday to be thankful for.  We bet Paul, with his aforementioned American-ness and football skills, is probably a hit at Turkey Day too.  WUYS-tested, mother approved.

Happy Thanksgiving!

from Geno’s Instagram

Well no, our obsession with boys in glasses began long ago.  Maybe it was when Chuck and I got our own glasses, or when we realized that we a) are nerds and b) like nerds.  Glasses may be more cool than Coke bottle these days, but the allure remains.

Smart is sexy.  The appearance of intelligence doesn’t hurt either.  It really helps if you look like you might read a book once in a while, and we’re not talking about the Official Strategy Guide for World of Warcraft.  (Kidding!  Mr. Pants has this.)

Based on the knowledge that girls do make passes at boys who wear glasses, here’s a collection of indisputable, photographic proof.

Foxy Friday: Hockey Players in Glasses

Okay, that’s unfair.

Now is the time to embrace your inner dork and give in.

Don’t kid us with your faux-frames, Kevin!  Kes would never do that.

Glasses can really improve any outlook.

They cannot overcome two earrings though, Buff.

And make terrifying things like Shea Weber’s beard slightly less so.

Glasses are a gateway drug for hipsters…

He’s since had Lasik, sorry.

… and at the same time, their crowning glory.

We haven’t seen these specs since Paul Gaustad left for Nashville…

Or since Chris Kirkpatrick’s turtleneck wardrobe went out of style.

That awkward high school photo of everyone, ever.

They can be used as a disguise…

Cape optional.

But if we see them on TV, we’re going to want to see them on your face.  We’re talking to you, James Neal.

And we’re not above getting your best friend to peer pressure you (or withhold breakfast).

Heck, glasses even work on Flyers…

And ex-boyfriends (who are now Flyers)…

And lobsters.

You don’t have to be a part-time model.  But it doesn’t hurt.

BONUS ROUND! Suggested by @jstefanc:

Happy Friday!

Somewhere in California, Sidney Crosby is assaulting pockets in a sports store where he never expected there to be a girl.

(Source: Instagram)

Somewhere in Pittsburgh, Paul Martin and James Neal are wearing matching shirts.  James shrunk his in the dryer – or he bought it that way.  Or we bought it for him.

Source: Instagram

Somewhere after baseball, James Neal is wearing plaid.

(Source: Instagram)

Somewhere on Twitter, #TeamEbs and #TeamHall are sassing each other.

Somewhere else on Twitter, Katy Perry knows what’s up.  Gabe should’ve sent her a selfie.

Somewhere on the internet, the Blackhawks are giving us the best content.

Hawks All-Access: Travel Gallery

While somewhere in Boston, the Bruins Instagram is paying attention.

instagram.com/nhlbruins

And somewhere in the future (of later today), Game 4 will probably go to overtime.  I didn’t get to watch the last two games but I’ll be tuning in tonight, hoping it’s just me the Hawks need to get another win.

How are you guys holding up now that it’s summer?

It’s probably in poor taste (since when do we care?), but I was hoping for a Christmas-themed shirt or something from Shanny.  Little embroidered Santas?  Snowman lapel pin?  With all the time he’s spending in NY you think he’d soak up some Lundqvist style.

Eggo’s suspension begins tonight and troubles the already-taxed Penguins defensemen.  Kris Letang is still out with a concussion.  Paul Martin is listed as “questionable” for tonight vs. Winnipeg (leg injury).  The good news is that Ben “Girls Love”joy is back on the blue line and even had an assist Tuesday.   Pittsburgh has recalled Brian Strait from the AHL for reinforcements.  (Strait suffered a dislocated elbow in his only NHL game this season – 10/18 – but we’re not going to say that out loud.)

Video of the hit and ensuing fight with John Scott (if you can call it that) from Wednesday’s post [link].

Is that scruff?  Is that almost a mustache, Crosby?  Because we have had this talk before.  And don’t think your untucked shirt is going to distract us enough not to mention it.  Okay, it is.  Or just the sight of you in general.  We surrender.

So Brittany got to meet everyone and all I did was see red pandas at the zoo with Chuck & Gator!  Way to show us up, B.  You can read all about her evening at the Evgeni Malkin Team Lokomotiv Benefit here [link], if you make it past the photos.  (It took us a few tries.)

She looks pretty composed, eh?  We would be all:

Nisky & Nealer have guacamole dogs. (This was supposed to say "camouflage" but autocorrect FTW and I'm leaving it.)

PS: Remember when Crosby and Niskanen had that fight?  No wonder Sid picked Nisky, he looks harmless!  We want to bake him cookies.

Girls Puppies Love.

The calendar will be available on the Pens website before the end of the year.

Paul Martin auditions for the LL Bean catalog.

TK and the harvest display at Sam's Club.

We think it makes the perfect Christmas gift.  For us.  You have our address.

Someday, leeetle puppy you will be bigger than my muscles. But not for a long time.

James, your hair. For heaven's sake. It's not even windy.