871 career games, 409 career points

As explained by Puck Daddy, it’s not an official retirement because Duper still has years left on his contract with the Penguins. He will go on LTIR for the balance of time.

While this is undoubtedly a smart move, it breaks my little heart. Duper is beyond a fan favorite. He’s like everyone’s wacky uncle, and you know holidays will be more stressful without him at the table. He looked out for his teammates, especially awkward Crosby, and always seemed to be looking out for us at the same time.

Thanks for the memories.

To celebrate Duper, here are my 5 favorite Pascal Dupuis moments:

1. PRANKS: Duper rigged the toilet in their room to hose down Crosby upon flushing. I’d put money on it being his idea to fill Kadar’s car with styrofoam peanuts. Nealer knew it was Duper when someone tied a tail to his car… just in time for his NHL 36 special.

2. Which leads us to HAIR STYLIST. Bless his sarcastic, teasing heart.

Doing our work for us.

3. Duper’s running joke with DAAAAAAAN Potash, making every intermission a possible trip to laughland. Like this one, this one and, oh heck, they’re all my favorites. Here, Duper narrates a compilation like he’s so proud he got all his teammates in on the master plan.

4. And then there’s THE BEARD. I always want the Pens in the Final, and Duper would have been an odds-on Penguin favorite for Beard of the Year.  Here’s to the pelted manbeard that Crosby’s babyscruff looked up to all these years.

2009 Stanley Cup champ

5. Of course there’s MY FANGIRL MOMENT. I meet a lot of famous people through my job. Really famous people. And I never get stupid, giddy, stammering excited like I do around hockey players I love.

Me, holding it together.

What I’ll really miss most are the days Dupuis-Crosby-Kunitz were SCORING GOALS like we eat nachos – lots of ’em, and as fast as possible. It’s been a while since this combo clicked, but the Penguins believed in reuniting them as recently as this week. [Post-Gazette]  My stubborn loyalty always believed it too.

We wish Duper the best of luck, and hope to see him coaching an aspect of the Pens game very soon. Perhaps improving it. There is certainly room for that right now.

Times I Don’t Care That You Insist on Wearing  Chain

Stop looking at me, swan.

That’s it. That’s the whole list.

I will also begin a new list: Reasons We Have 47 Twitter Notifications Before 10 AM

The single listed item will be the same.

As ever, he is the list.

Here’s a Southern California tourism video designed to fool you into moving to SoCal for five years where you will never once see this…

A day off in Southern California? Sounds like the perfect time for beach volleyball. https://t.co/zCjJqmB79h

— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) December 3, 2015

Unless you buy a really big TV and watch Top Gun. [Obligatory scene here]

California dreamin’, on such a winter’s day.

It’s going to have to be one of those 4K Ultra TVs. Maybe with 3D.

Duper would be your wingman any time.

It’s okay if Hornqvist is your favorite Penguin after watching this clip. Ian Cole’s gingerbeard and cat snuggling were pretty impressive,  but this is a whole new level.

The Pens spanked the Sharks 5-1 on Tuesday night, and don’t play again until they face the Kings at 4PM on Saturday. That leaves alllllllll day tomorrow for more beach volleyball. In case anyone (else) is interested.

The highest of fives.

Me and Dupuis

Me and Pascal Dupuis – that really happened, you guys.  Kudos to Jess, who was having none of my typical reaction (RUN AWAY!). Also bless the glacially slow press elevator, in which we and Duper were all waiting to ride. There was no way not to talk to him, being one of few people sporting Pens jerseys in the VIP area. Some folks gave me looks like I shouldn’t be eating all their nachos… well, I had to win something last night.

Duper was exactly as you imagine – lovely, friendly and still older than I am. That one never fails. He was taller than I expected and made me wish I paid more attention to White Collar and had learned how to lift someone’s phone, so I could call Sid and tell him what I thought of the first period.

Before that, warm-ups looked like this:

Borts asked to send this pic to Alison.

I finally remembered to stand on the Crosby side.

The game looked like this from our great seats, only the count on the scoreboard kept getting worse.

Too bad I could see the scoreboard.

In the end, it was an excellent game at which to enjoy free food and Duper’s brief company.  We rode in the elevator again later and shared a grimace over the way the night was going.  Everything else was horrible, especially Steve Downie, and except Mike Green’s goal to make it 4-0. The Penguins were practically on their bus already, so let Mike have one.  I’ll take the punishment.

Real friends stop making fun beyond 2-goal deficits.

The Ice Bucket Challenge began in July in support of ALS research.  Read more about it here and hire Frates & Quinn for more marketing campaigns.  The movement has raised over $4 million, up nearly +$3 million over this period last year.  Everyone is doing it:  Justin Timberlake, Matt Lauer, even Chuck did it!  Now we joke around, but this is a great cause, funding important research.  If you’re able to donate, please visit www.alsa.org.

And if you’re going to start a trend, please let it involve most of the NHL in what amounts to a wet t-shirt contest.  (So you know – this took forever to compile.  I watched hours of videos.  It was grueling but I’m willing to work hard for you guys.)

Me: “No.  No way.  No way!”

Crosby Ice Bucket Challenge video. I first saw an Ice Bucket Challenge video on 8/7, when 87 accepted the dare on his birthday.  I wondered for a moment it was real, or if I’d woken up in a fanfic – A Connecticut Yankee in Sidney Crosby’s Driveway, maybe.

Now who needs a cold shower?

Since then, everywhere you look an NHL player is taking the plunge.  So here you have them, the very Best of the Ice Bucket Challenge videos.

The “This Looks Familiar”

Matt Duchene Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Does Sid’s video have two blue buckets, a shovel and a black SUV in the background?  Eagle-eyed Alison noticed this is the same spot.  Just two dudes, pouring water on themselves and videotaping it for the internet.

Matt could have at least brushed his hair for Sid’s party.

Matt woke up 4 minutes ago.

Bonus points to Matt for nominating country singer Thomas Rhett, one of my favorites (who was also nominated by Justin Moore – the singer, not my husband).

The Intern Project

We said Tavares should wear a tighter shirt – so we know Intern Jeff Skinner still reads this blog.  This t-shirt is left over from Jeff’s high school days, since we haven’t paid him for a day of work since then.  And white?!  What a flirt.  Remember when he didn’t want girls paying attention?

Team Tank Top

Lindsay informs me that ‘dude tank tops’ are very much the style in Canada.  I assume everyone there looks like an NHL player and so this has my full support.

Steven Stamkos Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Careful using your dog to up the ante here, Stammer.  You’re no slouch but he’s pretty freaking cute.

Let me tuck my chain into my tank top first.

Taylor Hall Ice Bucket Challenge video.  #TeamHallsy starts his video off so seriously, you’d think he spent the summer doing Shakespeare in the Park.  It’s deceptively tall-seeming thespian work.

The world is mine oyster,
Which I, with stick, shall open.

Jordan Eberle Ice Bucket Challenge video. Uncceptable resolution for #TeamEbs.  He’s got to keep up with Taylor!  Zach Boychuck, get a new phone right this instant.  Adorable hair-fixing though, since Jordan knows we are watching.

Especially after this is Zack Boychuck’s video.  How is that fair?  His biceps are theatrically lit by the sun itself, giver of all life!

Also sporting the Official Boy Band Uniform is, of course, #TeamSchultzy.  Did they have a conference call about what to wear?  Or does matchy-matchiness come as naturally to them?

The “Dallas Stars Really Want to Be Your Favorite Team” 

Tyler Seguin never met a shirt he couldn’t take off.  Or something he couldn’t hit on.  I swear he just invited a charitable cause and a bucket of water back to his place, and don’t stop rolling that tape.

Jamie Benn’s Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Jamie would like to take this opportunity to remind you his hair is DEVASTATING and that he’s skinny now.  (Too skinny?  A little?)  Never mind that tattoo of a graveyard on his bicep – they needed a place to bury me anyway.

Benn-d and Snap

In case you don’t love Jamie, he Tweeted the “Girl in a Country Song” video.  This is everything that’s right with the world.

Also from the Stars, Rich Peverly apparently runs a daycare in the summer – and stuns them momentarily quiet with this challenge.  They are pretty sure their moms have said not to throw stuff.

The Other Birthday Boy

It’s a shame I’ll never see #TeamSam again, because I cannot add any more teams to my list nor can I stay up late enough to watch the Coyotes.  Sam Gagner did the Ice Bucket Challenge on his birthday, complete with a cake, a beard AND a white shirt. Presents for everyone.

The NSFMyLife

John Tavares Ice Bucket Challenge video.  There’s b-roll of John then his shirt off and jumping in the pool right?  That’ll be the deleted scene on the DVD?

Is this going to be on the test?

What I really can’t handle is his deep, teacher-y voice.  If he started talking about the Large Hadron Collider, I’d faint.

That Time Gabe Wore a Shirt

Gabriel Landeskog’s Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Perhaps the quaint, old-world and presumably Swedish setting calls for a top, but frankly we’re a bit disappointed in Gabe’s efforts to carry the shirtless-boat-selfie banner this summer. He gets named captain and suddenly it’s all business and no instructional pancake videos.

The US judges give this a 6.

He’s 21,  You Guys – I Swear

And that was not me at the end with the extra bucket of water.  Promise.

Guys Chuck Likes

The Bruins should hire Chuck to shoot their videos, because their Ice Bucket Challenges are astonishingly low-res.  Remember why you don’t watch hockey in standard def anymore?  Even dearest Patrice couldn’t get good production values:

Lucic is in focus – if that’s a good thing.  He looks like the unpopular kid at Camp Anawanna.  Stand up straight, man!

Kim Bauer Did It

Oh yeah, and her husband too.  The Phaneufs Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Alison loves these guys.  I just feel bad that 24 made Elisha get scared by a mountain lion and abducted by a loner in a bunker in the woods around LA.  Jack Bauer would disown that mess.

I think we’d all be friend with Elisha in real life.

The “Of Course Patrick Kane Has a Water Slide”

He probably has a slide from every single window of the house into that pool.  (This was a life plan action item for me and Gator.  Awaiting our invitations, Kaner.)  Toews is so much fun these days, where’s his bucket?

Coach Q is My Favorite Coach

Many coaches, front office staff and even mascots have gotten in on the Challenge, but Coach Q’s laugh is the best.

My Goalie is a Banana

What can I say?  I trust this man with my GAA.  They even gave the baby a bucket, in case she wanted to party.  Marc Andre Fleury Ice Bucket Challenge video

Just wait till you start dating, Baby Flower.  Dad is ready.

Which is Better than Mr. Potato Head

Oh Jordan, we miss you around the Penguins.

The Hot Dads

“Hey, if I’m doing this, we’re all doing it.  Then we’re going for ice cream.”

Chris Kunitz Ice Bucket Challenge video.  From the man who dressed as a sock monkey, of course.  Mrs. Kunitz challenged Paul Martin – thanks, girl.  (Paul Martin Ice Bucket Challenge video)

Little Miss Kunitz says she’ll just donate cash.

Pascal Dupuis Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Dear Universe, Please make the Dupuis Family into a TV show.  They’ve already created the poster:

No idea Duper had a half-sleeve, or that I’d like it so much.

Craig Adams Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Craig used a garbage can for his ice bucket and the family wore matching gubernatorial campaign shirts.  Just saying, that’s a Harvard man.  (The shirts are in honor of Anne’s father, former MA Governor Paul Cellucci, who died of ALS in 2013.  Thanks to Chuck and Anne for update.)

Vote early, vote often.

The Overachievers

Keith Yandle (who actually has a face under that beard) went pretty big – three buckets vs. white t-shirt.  His best move was calling out BizNasty, of course.  Talk about bigger.

You know Biz loves it when we say “bigger.”  He challenged some big names too, though we bet no one does it in their skivvies.  Read about Biz getting his friends to donate their time and money to put this together here.  And notice that TMZ covered a hockey player.

The Suits

Max Talbot Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Max is responsible now.  He has a wife and a baby and if he wants to pour ice water over his head in a suit and tie he will, damn it!  He’s like Frank the Tank, you can’t reign him in.

Business in the front, party in the shoes.

Robert Bortuzzo Ice Bucket Challenge video.  Borts, what is that tie?!  Is the inflatable duck to distract from the tie?  It’s not working.  Also the shades on the duck + the white button down – this is going Risky Business later, isn’t it?  We’re going to need the extended edition Blu-ray combo pack.

This yard wants to party, Project X-style.

Almost everyone’s done the Ice Bucket Challenge.  I couldn’t include or even get close to watching them all.  Notable exceptions are Gingeroux, newly married Mike Green (yeah right, on that hair?) and James Neal.  I worry this means Nealmobile really had no friends, because no one has challenged him.  Though he is on this pretty definitive list of players who’ve supposedly participated (here).  Did I miss his video somewhere?

While we wait, check out the Tumblr dedicated to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Huge thanks to @alisonsykora‘s mom Heidi, who took pictures of every page with her phone for us.  She likes James Neal the best because she’s a momgenius.

For safety, Sam overestimated the amount of room Sid needs to sit down.

Chuck Kobasew, come back to the lineup!

Matt D’Agostini’s in this year’s “Winter Look.”

Kunis and puppies and sweaters.

BSutts and Co. giving @alisonsykora the puppy eyes.

The closest to Raja that Aladdin could get.

These puppies match Geno’s outfit (and enthusiasm).

Joe Vitale and the tiniest little friend! Eeep!

Sassy and Neal. Yes, the dog is Sassy too.

Crosby is superstitious of black cats, so of course Duper has one.

Mario has one dog for each Stanley Cup.  He could handle more.

Hug it out, Rob Scuderi.

This is Nisky’s own dog. I’ll be over here, rolling around in my tears.

Get well soon, Beau. You’re too ridiculous to be without.

This scrappy little guy has Brooks’ eyes.

Disco Dogs

Also Flower’s own dogs.  And socks.

One last picture – a selfie:

Video: James Neal Boys & Girls Club Visit

If you can’t play, this is a really great way to show off your hair and hoodie.  Also helping children – that is important too.  Especially that one in the penguin hat because everyone knows the main reason to have kids and pets is to make them wear adorable costume-like accessories.

James now has a program called Neal’s Neighborhood where he gives tickets to families so kids can watch Penguins hockey.  Can I live in this neighborhood? Does it need a mayor?

One kid asks James if he’s good at hockey.  That would be my kid.  “My mom likes Crosby better, how come you’re not as good as he is?” and I’d be looking around like I’d never seen that child before in my life.

The kids are encouraged to ask James about his hair.  When they get too close with their bunny ears for a picture, he makes sure they don’t mess with the flow.

White tube socks.  Boys.

Katie O’Malley asks a tween girl what she’s going to tell people about the James Neal experience, and this girl holds it together 100000018% better than you. What I really want to see are the texts she sent her friends.  Oh I can – it’s called the entire James Neal Tumblr Feed.

Or this blog.

Watch the video, appreciate James’ charity initiatives, even volunteer at the B&G Club near your house.  They do incredible work and kids are fun!  They are witty and honest and awesome and this one, right here, is smarter than everyone in the room.

Future WUYS blogger.

You’re doing it right, girl.

If this whole thing has you thinking about hot dads, here are a few bonus pictures from yesterday.  I don’t know if this is a calendar about pets or cardigans but yes, a thousand times yes.

Source: Twitter

Source: Instagram

No word if Crosby participated in the calendar shoot, or if he was presented with a pocket-sized all-black kitten and given the option of holding it or freaking the hell out.  I’ll assume this means he chose option B and bought all incriminating video evidence for an immediate destruction spin in that beat up dryer/goal.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Pittsburgh Penguins:

While I enjoy a gleeful shopping binge every once in a while, the bill always comes.  Death and taxes, you know.  Except not taxes – at least not luxury taxes on the salary cap because that’s not allowed in the NHL.  So where are the Penguins putting their money, and will there be any left for lunch?

Kris Letang – 8 years, $58 million

Okay handsome.  We see you back there on the blue line, looking fabulous… while not holding the blue line.  That is a problem for which the remedy had better be $7.25 million/year.  Kris tied for the lead in points by a defenseman last season (38).  He was 10th in the entire League in points-per-game at 1.09 [link].  Offensive defensemen – yay!

But also you must be defensemen!  QB-ing a power play, to mix sports metaphors, is a requirement.  Malkin’s not gonna do it.  There were times this year, both on the power play and in the defensive zone, when I was screaming for a line change to give me Brooks Orpik.   Those days, I don’t know why Letang is making more than $5 million/year.  Other days I see Kris’ play and I want to make it rain.  I shall expect a handsomely convincing display of his renewed defensive prowess in October.

Side note: Kris’ contract does not have a no-trade clause. Instead he gets to pick 12 teams to which he would NOT accept a trade [Post-Gazette].  The rest are fair game.  That’s an interesting plus should Letang become a hole in Shero’s boat.

Pascal Dupuis – 4 years, $15 million

DEAL.  Did you know Dupuis made $1.5 million last year?  And the year before that?  $1.5 million is what the Islanders will pay Rick DiPietro NOT to play hockey every year for the next 16 years.  I can’t even.

Yes, Duper is 34, but his .79 PPG average last year was a career high (up from .72 in ’11-’12).  He scored 20 goals plus 11 points in the playoffs [stats].  He could have taken his show on the UFA road and made more than $4 million next season.   Luckily for me, and Crosby, and James Neal’s hair, Pascal wanted to stay in Pittsburgh.

Chris Kunitz –  3 years, $11.55 million

It is a crime that no one remembers The Monchichis because this is what I think of every time I see Chris Kunitz.

Kunitz is well worth $3.85 mil/yr because he fits everywhere – in ’11-’12 it was on the Neal/Malkin line that generated 40 goals for Neal and the Art Ross Trophy for Geno.  Last season, Chris finished 8th in goals and 7th in points (his career best) alongside Crosby/Dupuis.  Crosby missed a month and that was still the top-scoring line in the NHL.

The Pens top lines fight over #14, and the loser suffers on the scoreboard [great Pensburgh feature].  Kunitz may not be a marquee name, but he makes them happen.

Side note: Career years at the age of 33 for Dupuis and Kunitz.  Who else was 33 last season?  Superman, according to Man of Steel, and some girls with a hockey blog.  33 is the new black.

The Penguins already have a load of big-time contracts:

• Malkin – $8.7 mil/yr (’12-13), increases to $9.5 mill (’13-14 and on)
• Crosby – $8.7 mil/yr for the rest of time
• Fluery – $5 mil/yr through ’13-14
• Neal – $5 mil/yr through 2018
• Martin – $5 mil/yr through ’13-14

That means in ’12-13, the Penguins will commit $43.375 million to just 8 players, including Letang, Dupuis and Kunitz (Letang and Kunitz’s raises don’t kick in until ’14-15).

The salary cap for 2013-14 is projected to be $63.4 million [ESPN.com].  Currently the Pens stand at $60 million spent [CapGeek.com] – on 19 players.  They need at least 20 on their roster, and can have no more than 23 active.  Currently unsigned from last season: Iginla, Morrow, Jeffrey, Cooke, Adams, Bortuzzo, Murray and Eaton.  So that last $3.4 million is going to have to go a very long way for Pittsburgh.

The light at the end of the tunnel?  Since the salary cap is based on League revenue from the previous season, the cap is expected to increase significantly for the ’14-15 season.  And it better, because the Penguins have already spent some of that money.

In this week’s BeardWatch, we give praise to the best of what’s still around in the Conference Championships, your current frontrunners for 2013 Playoff Beard of the Year, Jaromir Jagr, Pascal Dupuis, Johnny Oduya,  and Dustin Penner.

#BeardWatch2013

Read the rest [here].

They won four 1-goal games, including 1 OT and 1 shootout.

Chris Kunitz has 8 goals… three of them on Pittsburgh Penguins Sock Monkey Night, creating officially the most adorable hat trick in NHL history.

Asked how he felt about seeing sock monkeys on the ice, Crosby said:

insert girly laugh

Pascal Dupuis has 4 goals.

I’ve lost my voice from screaming.

James Neal has 4 goals (plus a shootout goal).

I used a 5ive song as the title of this post, just for Chuck.

And Sidney Crosby is a beast.

• 3 goals and 11 assists (plus a shootout goal)
• Voted one of the Three Stars every game
• Lost his helmet on camera just for good, sweaty measure

I’m sorry, were you trying to work?

You’re dad’s thinking, “Whew.  My daughter’s safe with this dork.”

Sorry to be late – the Penguins annual Skates & Plates benefit was a few days ago.  You know, the one where they get dressed up and try not to drop food on themselves, people, the floor give us something to blog about.

While I’m generally opposed to jackets with tails (on anyone but Mr. Peanut)…

(and Disney princes)

I can’t resist an event in which the Penguins make Matt Niskanen look like the Mayor of the Munchkin City.

Is ‘corsage pinner’ a job?  Related experience: I can make a poof in the front of my hair with one bobby pin.  Here’s my resume.

Kris: Are you nervous?

Sid: I hope they spaced the tables out far enough for me to fit through.

Kris: Well you look good.

Sid: Thanks.

Kris…

Sid: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh (tugs at collar).

Of course it was all captured on video, again by the Duper Cam and endlessly on Tumblr.  Revel in the awkward.

Next year I think Skates & Plates should have lanes of ice between the tables, so the players can deliver your food like a 1950’s diner – on skates.  They could add paper hats and a choreographed dance routine.  So basically the dinner would be at Johnny Rockets and sound like Grease.  They could pull it off.

(Photos from Penguins Instagram)

When the Penguins aren’t working for tips, they sometimes play hockey.  The first period last night vs. Philly was not one of those times…

Unless you think this is hockey:

Yes, you.  You jerk.

No I won’t take it back. I’m really mad at you.

 I do support this, of course.  Peeking between my hands yelling, “No no no no!” and then “KILL HIM! ROAR!!!”

Good thing I kept an eye on the out-of-town scoreboard.  People at the Caps game gave me stare down for freaking out as these three goals popped up.

My phone could hardly refresh fast enough.  Wore the lady behind me right out.

And when I saw that Neal scored in a somewhat redeeming fashion?  I attacked @raedanda, in her puple pants.  Duck and cover.

I haven’t even watched the game yet, but this is my joy.

Sorry, Sad Ginger.  (NO I’M NOT.)

While I’m at it, CHRIS KUNITZ!  Having a year!  2G/1A last night, he now has 31 points and is behind only Crosby and Stamkos for the NHL lead.  [CBS Sports]  He even tried to save Disco Dan from a flying puck Monday night.

The Pens also got a goal and an assist from Dupuis.  If Sid’s linemates scored 3 times, you know he had 3 assists last night.  From the Pittsburgh Tribune:

Since the beginning of February, Crosby has produced 29 points in 16 games. He has at least one point in 13 of those games. Crosby has recorded seven three-point nights during that span.

Crosby’s career vs. Philly?  13 goals and 20 assists in 21 games.

Yeah, that’s right.

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2013/03/08/skates-plates-prom-dates/feed/ 8 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/06/28/win-win/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2011/06/28/win-win/#comments Tue, 28 Jun 2011 16:19:02 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.wordpress.com/?p=5918 It is a day of rejoicing around the WUYS offices!

1) Ray Shero, you are a beast.  The Pens have signed Pascal Dupuis for 2 more years at $3 million.  Now he and Sid can stay up talking all night about Sid’s one fight again.

2) Six more years of Brooks Laich!  GMGM and the Caps obviously read our blog and ponied up $27 million to quiet us down.  Cue my awesome in-office version of “Baby, I Laich It.” (have I mentioned I love Pitbull?)

3) MAX TALBOT’s bestie pal Bruno Gervais got a 1-yr deal to backup dance for Stamkos in Tampa Bay.  That team is getting better looking daily.

Pens 4 Eva

You’re an awesome team dad (thanks 24/7 for loving the dads):

Earmuffs!

You’re perfect for this bunch of lovable idiots:

Aaaaand you had two goals on Tuesday vs. NJ to give you 16 on the season for a total of 35 points.  Excellent work in the absence of your padawan.  But he’ll be back soon and we feel more of this coming on:

FREE HUGS!

So Happy Birthday, sing it in French and then let’s lock up this home ice advantage and see you on April 13!