(To those of you lobbying for a Cam Talbot feature, you’ll have to wait until they are playing someone I hate in the post-season. I’m not about to let Foxy Friday accidentally help a Ranger right now.)

Not every team’s fate is sealed, but we’re being reasonable with Wild Card possibilities. This likely means someone will go 9-0 and ruin our lives. Forgoing teams that could still make it (Bruins, FlapAntlers), here’s a last look at the Eastern Conference foxes we’ll miss come April 12. Enjoy them while you can.

Philadelphia Flyers

I WON’T MISS YOU. I don’t care how ginger you are, how curly, how shirtlessly beer pong proficient. Two more games vs Pittsburgh will be plenty, thanks. I don’t think about you when you’re not here.

But if UFA MDZ signs elsewhere, I might be allowed to miss him a little.  We’ll have to see how this skate-gash-to-the-neck (warning: gross photo) heals, because we’re only pretending to believe his “I got bitten by a shark” story for one scar. And we’re still waiting for him to request our help in finding dates.

New Jersey Devils

Adam Henrique’s cheekbones lead the team with 40 points this season, and he’s all smiles in this post-game interview from early March.  Maybe he could play baseball in the off-season, after this play.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Ryan “Shameless Charming Kid Prop” Johansen deserved  his own Foxy Friday after the All-Star Game. I mean, the Flying V? What else does a guy have to do? Blame Ekblad.  But someday, Ry – probably right around when you take this girl to the prom.

If you want to speed up the process, stop wearing hats. Because:

Carolina Hurricanes

After they beat the Pens 257-2 last night (close enough), I am not inclined to include the Hurricanes in this post. But Intern Jeff Skinner already volunteered to work all summer, since… well, you know. And I am weak. Plus someone needs to censor what Jeff does while wearing a white t-shirt.

Don’t just give it away, Jeff! You’re not a Kardashian. (Also, he’s scared of rides at the fair. He just wants to wait in line with you and hold your purse. We are raising this guy right.)

Honorable Mention: Jordan Staal. He reminded us yesterday that he still exists/is handsome. Video @penguins.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I don’t think anyone will miss the Leafs this season, especially because our favorite Leaf is Elisha Cuthbert and she’s back on our TV. (You can watch One Big Happy here.) The Leafs are definitely not one big anything, unless it’s a steaming pile of mess, and there is no happy. Even Joffrey Lupul is posting sad lyrics as status updates, like a maudlin 10th grader. [song]

But at least when the season ends, he still looks like this.

HOLD UP. Did you know you can rate Joffrey’s outfits and raise money for charity?! How have we never known this, we’ve just been doing it for free! Our work, going to waste! Visit lupulstyle.com to vote.

Buffalo Sabres

Poor Zach Bogosian, getting traded to Buffalo. Update NY still loves flannel and fried chicken, though.

At least he’s not alone. Marcus Foligno wants to know if, while you were watching his brother captain a squad of drafting drunks at the All-Star Game, you thought about the cold, windswept blue of his eyes [video]:

No? Well, there’s always next year. And alllllllllll summer. Next week we’ll say goodbye to what’s left of the West, then it’s on to the playoffs we go.

The cold kind of always bothered me anyway.

Last week the Rangers, Devils and Islanders promoted the pair of outdoor games they’ll play at Yankee Stadium in January as part of the NHL’s Stadium Series.

Welcome to my nightmare: Yankees, Rangers, dead of northeastern winter. While I’d normally rather eat glass, the allure of outdoor hockey could convince even me to attend this game – if the NHL provides the required elements for keeping warm:

1) Snowsuit.  I wouldn’t be able to put my arms down, but who cares.  I don’t plan on clapping for any of these teams.

2) Hot chocolate.  Not just a cup, but an entire backpack dispenser brought directly to my seat.  (Like they do at the SF Giants baseball park, because it’s that cold there in summer.)

3) John Tavares.

Oh, does Tavares have to play?  Well I obviously don’t want the Rangers to win.  John & I can watch the NYR/Devils game together, then during NYR/NYI, I’ll just hug Chuck.

Interestingly, the A is missing from JT’s jersey.  NYR’s Callahan was wearing his C… could a team captaincy be in John’s near future?  Do the Isles want to learn about sedimentary rock strata and other Earth Science topics during road trips?  I think they do.

Plus, who rocks a polo shirt better than a middle school teacher?

Sorry John, I can’t hear over how good your hair looks.  How does anyone learn anything in your class?

In case you missed the Tweetspaz where I spammed everyone with a flurry of JT91 photos from this event, here you go.  If you saw that, well here’s video to make it even better.  You can even have this story about lil’ John playing backyard hockey to the point of hypothermia with mini-Sam Gagner [link].

There’s a whole post worth of hockey players wearing Yankees hats (Mike Green, Viktor Stalberg, the list is horribly endless).  They don’t realize they’re hurting us.

John, we know they made you do this.  (Video of first pitch. It’s precious.)

It’s not the first time. (Bonus: Video of the Mets first pitch.)

 Or the best time. (This one was not coerced.)

What’s that, Hockey News Yearbook cover that was *just* Tweeted (and forwarded by Lindsay)?  You think John’s going to have a great year?

I certainly hope so.  Only him though, not the Isles, because it’s getting REALLY crowded here in the Metropolitan Division with the Penguins, Capitals, Hurricanes… GAH.  At least I have clear priorities.

I’ll never actually root for the Islanders.  Right?

from mistfarer, tagged #boyfriendfilter

Crap.  Well someone’s got to play the Flyers.

There were other players/teams at this event, and I know some of you care about them.  Don’t say I never gave you anything.

For the Isles fans – I don’t know what Athletes Quarterly is, but I probably should.  This is adorable.

Now, is it October yet?

While we don’t like the Devils, we have to give them props for not laying down in front of the purple and black freight train and for pushing the series to a Game 6.

Last week, the Devils were down 3-0 in the series, teetering percariously on the edge, Jonathan Quick poised to send them tumbling into the abyss of the SCF sweep.

No goal for you.

But leave it to Marty Brodeur, the 4o year old future Hall of Fame netminder, to bring the Devils back and for the players like Parise, Salvador, and he of the creeper ‘stach, Henrique, to step up big time.

Have the Devils totally messed with the Kings’ hockey chi?  Will they come from 3-0 down to win their 4th Stanley Cup?

Mike Richards and his heterosexual life partner, Jeff Carter are determined to not make that happen.

Their epic bromance will conquer all.

Most epic of bromances.

If there ever was a time that these two needed to step up, it is tonight.

Time to silence all those hater and critics and to show the Flyers fans what they could have had.

I have confidence in the Kings.  They just need to play the way that they’ve been playing the entire playoffs.  With physicality, skill, strength. But most importantly, to play like one being,  a hockey borg, if you will.

Take a deep breath, boys.  Keep calm and carry on.

Exhale.

Well, sometimes you disappoint when you shave your goatee into a mustache that means you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground.

But then, you score the goal that keeps your team’s dream alive:

And somehow, magically, in the post-game your ‘stache has is approaching the border between ‘okay’ and ‘OKAY?!’

Our cries of, “WTH, who shaves in the playoffs?” were for nothing.  Shaving in the playoffs is the new black.  Henrique ditches the goatee, scores the GWG.  Clarkson removes his beautiful ruddy beard and gets an assist.  The entire Devils squad will be shorn for Game 5.

from www.aeryssports.com

As you know, Henrique scored the series-ending double OT goal vs. Florida and the series-ending single OT (boring!) goal vs. New York.  The Calder Trophy voting for Rookie of the Year is only supposed to encompass the regular season – have they already voted?  It’s completely unfair if they haven’t, since neither Nugent-Hopkins or Landeskog reached the post-season.  Still, how can this performance not count?!  There’s no impartial jury out there now.

I felt bad that so many people paid so much money to see their team win at home – I dream of this someday being me.  That was quickly outweighed by my selfish desire for hockey season to last all year.  What else can make us so deliriously happy, gut-wrenchingly sad and seat-shiftingly uncomfortable?

Mike Richards.  Chuck called him a “dark swarthy pirate of love” for this look.  I think he’s starting to resemble an Ewok in the Witness Protection Program.  Pierre, of course, is on a first date.  Watch him do the ‘casual arm-swing’ hoping to brush against Mike.  We know all your tricks, little man!!  He’s going to walk Mike right to his door and hope to be invited in.

ACK.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, back to work for both teams Saturday night.  It’s a chance for the Devils to really make this one interesting, or the Kings to extend their record road-game streak.  Either way, I’m glad to get one more game out of this season.

Again? High five.

Not pictured: LA Kings

Chuck and I are Red Sox fans, which means leading a playoff series 3-0 is not enough for us.  We know miracles can happen.  (In case you don’t, in ’04 the Yankees were up 3-0 in the ALCS.  The Red Sox won 4 straight, then another 4 to sweep the Cardinals for the World Series.  The screaming, people.  I can’t even describe it.)   The moral of the story is: we don’t count people out.

from www.latimes.com

Tonight, the Kings will try to sweep the Devils to win the first Stanley Cup in franchise history, in front of their home crowd.  This idea gives us crazy butterflies.  Chuck & Dawn are all for the Kings, and I cry every single year when the Cup is presented, no matter who wins.  I just see rainbows and sprinkles and dreams coming true.  It’s like a Lifetime movie.

If the Kings win tonight, it will be the 21st Finals sweep in the modern era (since the NHL went to a best-of-seven format in 1939).  Sweeps happen more often than a series goes to 7 games (16 times).  Only one NHL team has ever come back from 3-0 down in the Final to win the Cup – the 1942 Maple Leafs.

Despite Peggy’s best efforts, the Cup has arrived.

Since 1939, trends in winning the Stanley Cup Final – from NHL.com [link, the formatting is awful]:

•  Teams winning Game One have won the Cup 54 of 69 times (78.3%).

•  Teams winning both Games One and Two have won the Cup 41 of 44 times (93.2%).

•  Teams winning Games One, Two and Three have won the Cup 24 of 25 times (96%).

More sweep fun facts – ESPN.com [link].

15 fun facts about the Kings – USAToday.com [link]

WOW. From www.deadspin.com.

If you’re thinking what we’re thinking, it’s about this.  Or, more accurately, this happening inside a Ke$sha video filmed in a strip-club-on-a-yacht off Huntington Beach where Snoop Dogg drops from a fireworks-shooting helicopter for a rap solo about best friends forever.

I’m just saying that Cup parade/party photos get us through the summer and you know the Kings’ would be epic.  Twitter would melt.  I’d buy stock in pancakes, donuts, liquor and glitter.    Something tells me that Patrick Elias won’t be dancing shirtless on a table a la Tyler Seguin (or even clothed like Patrick Sharp) but we think TBG Drew Doughty might.

(SIDE NOTE: If you Google “Tyler Seguin dance shirtless,” the #5 photo result is Chuck & Tyler and #12 is me & Chuck.  You guys search that term and find our site A LOT, pervs.)

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  Things are far from over with 60 minutes on the clock and a goalie who has won 3 Stanley Cups – that’s every Cup the Devils have ever won, on Brodeur’s shoulders.  So, down but not out?  Will the Devils slow the Kings 15-2 playoff run and rain on their parade?  If they get one, they head back to NJ for Game Five on Saturday night.  The Kings have won 10 straight road games… but you have to start somewhere.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Last year, zero Calder Trophy finalists were featured as Foxy Fridays.  Not even Rookie of My Life Logan Couture, and not counting the time Jeff posted a picture of himself holding a baby.  Zero legitimate Foxy Fridays.

This year, we’re giving them out like candy.  First Landeshirtless over there in Sweden, and that was just for falling on his face.  Now, and perhaps the most deserved Foxy Friday of the year: Adam Henrique.

We could give him three separate Fridays, really – one for his face, one for his goatee and one for this sweatshirt.  Do the Devils live in a pajama factory?  Can we go to there?  Throw in a couple of heart-stopping, dream-ruining goals and Adam could get a whole month of Fridays.

As we said in our Puck Daddy Beard Watch post, we are BIG FANS of this goatee.  He looks like the devil from a movie, who talks you into all kinds of really good bad ideas.  Right?  He’s all, “Hi, I’m Adam,” and you’re like:

(Intern Jeff Skinner just threw down his notebook and stormed out.)

Henrique grew up on a farm in Ontario – not sod, but still.  What goes on up there?!  He spent last season with my hometown-ish Albany Devils.  After a rough 2011 training camp, Adam was sent back to Albany, just to be recalled a week later to replace an injured player.  He stayed put in NJ and had 16 G/35 A in the regular season.

Don’t worry, this was his September hair.

He was named to the 2012 NHL All-Star Rookie team, but missed the event due to a groin injury.  Double bummer, as his family would have been there.  NYR’s Carl Hagelin replaced him and got a Foxy Friday out of it.  Cheater.

Cheekbones aside, Henrique is having a heck of  a playoff.  He scored the double-OT, game seven winner to eliminate Florida and move the Devils to Round 2 for the first time in five years.  Then he scored the game six OT winner that ended the Rangers season.  Did we mention he’s a rookie?

On that goal, NJ advanced to the Stanley Cup Final for the first time in nine years.  Does anyone know the record for most playoff series-ending OT goals in a season?  I bet it’s two.  And they both feel like:

SCF Game 1 didn’t go NJ’s way, but still needed OT to be decided.  Here are Zajac and AH talking about the loss [video].  It’s mopey – we recommend admiring his hairline instead.  It’s the most perfect example since *N Sync’s plastic helmet hair in the “It’s Gonna Be Me” video (BRB, dance break).

Instead here’s Adam failing the NJ Devils History Quiz – he’d never make it in a pageant – then contesting the results [video].  He even knocks Wikipedia.  Shall we go over there and add to his page?

Saturday Night is date night with Adam and Game 2 at 8 PM Eastern.  The Kings have won 211 nine straight playoff road games.  A win in New Jersey tomorrow would give them the NHL record for longest streak.  Remember though, the Devils lost the first games to both Philly and New York.  While those teams works on their tans, New Jersey and Los Angeles will step back into the ring.

You, feel free to wear your pajamas.

Sweatshirt appreciation, courtesy of fromtheblueline.tumblr.com.

Helpful Hint: Pronounce the “H” in Henrique.  Adam does. [video]

Then you don’t make either one in time.

In the end, the Devils put it away on a goal from surprisingly foxy Ryan Carter.  Where have you been all our lives?  New Jersey is now up 3-2 in the series.

Will Friday be the night we see this year’s other Stanley Cup contenders emerge?  Chuck says no.  I say Zach.

This post was just so I could use this picture.

I should have known that Pam (@itsalwayssunnyinnj) made this picture.  She is a girlgenius.

We love (OK, worship) our NHL team captains. But in life, it’s rare that a “C” should outrank an “A.”

To keep the status quo, this week we salute one NHL alternate captain from each remaining playoff team. These men are first in our books — leading by example on and off the ice, above and below the chinstrap.

Here are our top marks for how “A” beard should look.

Check out the rest [HERE]

Matt Greene’s bears. So blond, it glows.

And no more of this:

Okay, maybe one more:

We extend sympathies to our Flyers fans.  Yes really, even though I hate them.  Losing sucks no matter if you’re my team or a great looking guy in an ugly suit.  Reasons and examinations for the loss, please report immediately to October where you’re all meaningless.

A big congratulations to our Devils fans.  NJ gave a huge performance, and frankly their discipline scares the crap out of me.  After watching the Flyers expose every single Penguins weakness then strip and sell them for parts, I thought they were rolling.  But NJ never gave Philly an inch, never let them crack that shell.  On top of great hockey, they played a great mental game.

The Devils await the winner of the Rangers/Capitals series.  I can’t say anything else for fear of a jinx, but more on this after round two is over.

Can I just lable all these photos “Hot like fire?”

You really wanna F%$k with me? Really? Because I can score on your ass too!

I got this one – SRSLY … I do. I got it. See?

Oh Dawn, if you were here, I’d kiss you like this. Thanks for all your support through the years even though you don’t like my team much.

This is one of my favorite photos – eva!

Most career wins, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 551.

Most playoff shutout 24.

Most minutes played, breaking Patrick Roy’s record of 60,235 minutes.

Most games played, surpassing Patrick Roy’s record of 1029.

Most regular-season shutouts, breaking Terry Sawchuck’s record of 103.

He’s now also played a play-off game in every decade of his career as a teenager to his forties.

And if anyone saw the interview on Sunday, he was unfortunate enough to have Pierre McGuire wish him “Happy Birthday, mon ami.” YUCK –A-ROO! Short of Pierre kissing him and sitting on his lap during the interview, Pierre was more than his usual sycophantic self.  I not only wanted a bath, I threw up in my mouth a little bit. But as classy as Martin is, he took it in stride, smiled and got the hell out of there before Pierre could slime him anymore!

So a day late, but not any less enthusiastic, A BIG WUYS – WE KNOW YOU ARE NOT! – HAPPY 40^th BIRTHDAY MARTIN BRODEUR!

WE LOVE YOU!

You already know that Zach is American, because he scored the gold medal game-tying goal at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.  Remember that game all your friends were watching, screaming at the TV and saying “hockey is so great!”?  You resisted throwing Doritos and politely reminded them you’ve been saying this for twenty years.

Well, that’s how I remember it.

No doubt you heard a hundred thousand hockey fans collapse from exhaustion just after midnight when the Devils finally scored in double OT to beat the Florida Panthers and advance to the second round.  I couldn’t watch the game, but you guys were stressing me out just via Twitter.  I’m sorry I missed it!

Celebrating the singe-OT winner in Game 6.

Parise has played seven seasons for the Devils.  He missed most of ’10-’11 with a knee injury then signed a one-year contract in July 2011 to avoid salary arbitration.  In October he was named team captain, but has not signed a long-term deal and would become an unrestricted free agent on July 1.  

The team has openly said that signing Zach is their top off-season priority, while right now everyone is focused on winning [New York Times].  It’s a tough situation when every win only makes Parise more attractive to other teams – teams with salary cap space and early-ended playoff dreams of their own, like Ottawa and Florida [BleacherReport.com].

“He’s the heartbeat of our team,” head coach Pete DeBoer said. “When your captain is your hardest-working player, he drags people with him, and that’s a great situation to be in as a coach.” [NJ.com]

Off the ice, Zach enjoys golf (we enjoy driving the cart) and cribbage (don’t know what that is, willing to learn)  His favorite movie is The Count of Monte Cristo, and we assume he’s also read the book.  Just watch this interview… but don’t show it to your mom.  You will never hear the end of, “When is that nice Zach boy coming over for dinner?”

I’m sorry, but ‘Press Your Luck?!’  The Gravitron?! I haven’t been thrown up on in one of those since day camp.  Come on, my mom will drive us to the fair!

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Your Last Name Here, it's so nice to meet you.

The Devils open their series vs. the Flyers on Sunday at 3 PM.  After what happened in round one, you can guess what I would like Zach & Co. to do to Philadelphia.

Try explaining this:

Three seconds into the game (yes, first period), the Rangers and Devils had three simultaneous fights break out.  That’s barely enough time to make a “Yo Mama” joke!    Gloves and helmets, report to the ice surface.

So what’s the story?

The Rangers have lost 6 of 11 in March.  The red hot Penguins (now with extra Crosby!) are breathing down their necks for 1st Place in the Atlantic Division and the Eastern Conference.  A slip would knock them down to 4th and a cage match for playoff home ice advantage with the Flyers.  The Devils have similar Feb and March records, and are firmly planted in the playoffs.  They could claw into 5th, or drop into 7th, but they’re going to make it either way.

Be honest.  Was it just because the Devils had to wear those awful green uniforms on Saturday?

No(t only).  There’s a ton of history and bad blood between two teams living so close together.  It’s like fighting with your bother in the back of mom’s station wagon on the way to day camp.  Just this year:

– On December 20, Mike Rupp fought Cam Janssen three seconds into the game (yes, first period) . [video]

– On February 7, Rupp and Janssen decided “why wait?” and dropped the gloves two seconds into the game (yes, again).  Bradon Dubinsky and Eric Boulton also fought at that time. [video]

So one fight at the opening faceoff, then two fights… you see where this is going.  In the six Rangers vs. Devils matchups this season, as a total of 22 fighting majors have been handed out.

Who are these madmen?

Each of these guys is a brawler.  Starting these lines is like stepping into the ring, gloved up and ready for a heavyweight title bout.  Last night was crazy, but every one of the players was well-matched and ready to go.

And what’s the point?

Ah, the age old question of fighting in hockey.  Some say let ’em swing.  Others, like this SBNation writer, think premeditated stage fights like this need to be eliminated, lest the NHL wax hypocritical about player safety.  The discussion over fights has heated up lately, with so many man-games lost to concussions and even Ralph Nader lobbying Bettman to ban brawls [link].  (Wow, was that a slow news day.)  Others cite the NHL’s nearly 100-year history of policing itself with a little on-ice law enforcement [link].

I admit that I laughed my butt off watching this fight.  Brawls like this don’t happen often and I don’t think allowing fights promotes fighting.  We’ve all seen bad fights – attacking a smaller guy, hitting someone who’s down, even a non-fighter squaring off against an experienced combatant (Jay Beagle, how’s your head?).   For the most part, the dangerous plays (hits from behind, boarding) are being addressed by the NHL, albeit with varying success.  That alone won’t keep players safe in the brutal, physical game of hockey.  But outlawing fighting won’t change that – it could even open the ice for big guys to run other teams’ stars without fear of consequences.  Don’t tell me penalties are consequences, unless we’re getting robot referees with laser vision and the ability to stop time.  Their job is the call by the rules.  A fighter’s job is sometimes to call by the heart.  Every hockey fan has seen a fight change the course of a game, because it’s part of the game.

Overall, I say guys who don’t want to fight, don’t fight – like Stamkos [link].  Guys who don’t fight but sometimes need to fire up their teams?  Well, they fight Matt Niskanen [link].  Neither way makes them bulletproof.  That’s hockey.

Last night wasn't Bickel's first dance.

What do you guys think? I’d love to hear from someone who wants fighting banned – there are a lot of good arguments and probably a million examples I haven’t considered.

Really, just me?

There are a lot of hockey-related things I could fire my HS BFF for, but this is not one of them.  This was a solid decision back in the day.  Of course I knew he would say no, what with being plenty older than I am and AHL hockey being over by June.  And what my hair looked like those days.   But still… I asked him (circa 1996).

This past May, I pretty much ran away from Steven Stamkos on an empty street.  My skills are not improving.

The Devils traded Brian to the Islanders last week.  Then they signed Zach Parise to a one year deal that probably means his days in NJ are numbered.  Get this – the Islanders are taking players on to reach the NHL minimum payroll under the current salary cap: $48.3 million.  Time for a shopping spree (and more cupcakes).

Zippy wants a contract for his birthday.  He and the Devils are scheduled for arbitration on Wednesday.  Zach missed almost all of last season with a knee injury, though almost made a comeback at the very end.  If they’d made the playoffs, perhaps he would have.  As is, it’s been a long lonely lonely time without him.  The Devils certainly felt it last season, even with their salary cap woes and surprising burst of late-season success.

Zippy made $5 million last year, up from $2.5 and $3 million the years before.  In early July, he said he’d take a 1-year deal to avoid arbitration but that the goal is a long-term contract.  Arbitration is a last resort and sometimes gets ugly, so here’s hoping Zippy and the Devs get something locked up before then.

Before the injury, Zach had a great seasons in ’08-09 (94 points) and ’09-10 (82 points).  The Devils made the playoffs both years but were eliminated in the first round.  And of course, there was this goal.  The shining time in which average Americans cared about hockey for one whole afternoon.

So happy birthday, Zip.  Get signed and get back out there soon.

Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely...

Zach Parise went out October 30 with a knee injury that was projected to take 3 months.  We’re closing in on the 5 month mark and there’s talk that Parise may return to the Devils’ lineup next week. [link]

Remember when I scored 45 goals?

Zach’s had a long year of watching Day of our Lives and doing 10,000-piece puzzles.  The Devils had a horrific start and a mostly terrible season that turned into a terrific run over the last few weeks.  They were maybe almost kind of closing in on a playoff spot… but last night they lost to Boston, leaving them 9 points out with only 9 games to go.  Even if Parise got back and was in full form, it would take a minor miracle to pull that off.

Remember when I tied the Olympic gold medal game with 24 seconds left?

If I’m Zach, I want to play. He’s at the end of a 4-year, $12.5 million contract and the Devils have salary cap problems that look like the US budget deficit.  Maybe they dump other contracts to keep him, maybe they shop him around.  It will help his value in any case if teams see him on the ice, playing. You don’t buy a car without a test drive.

That said, what is the point?  To rush back from any injury is a bad idea, and if something took 2 extra months to heal I say you should go easy.  Like all summer easy.  There’s a lot to lose and for the NJ Devils at this point, very little to gain.

Am I tan yet?

I tried to watch the Heritage Classic, but I couldn’t focus my eyes on the bizarre non-color of the Flames shorts.  Is that taupe?  Nude, maybe?  If you’re going to commit to sweaters and socks that look like McDonald’s prison uniforms, just go all the way.

I made your sweater, Stripey!

That awkward moment when the Penguins acquire the guy Sidney Crosby beat up.  The Penguins traded Alex Gologoski to Dallas for James Neal and Matt Niskanen.  Could Neal be the elusive high-percentage winger for Crosby?  What do you think Crosby and Niskanen are going to talk about?

The Coyotes have won 7 games in a row and they’re pissed the Devils have won 7 games in a row too.  Way to steal our thunder, guys.  NJ is 10 points out with 23 games left to play.  Mike Millbury and his pink tie think the Devs are a playoff contender.  What do you think?  [Haha, right now the Devils website is down.  Guess their IT team wasn’t expecting any wins either.]

Ain't no mountain high enough...

Tuesday’s Games to Watch: The Canes can tie the Rangers for 7^th in the East with a win; Columbus tries to keep pace with the race against Nashville; Dallas looks to avoid a 5-game skid against those Devils.

Anyway, you could see that Thomas couldn’t believe it either. It was like in a movie where you see the good guy screaming “Nooooooo!” is slow motion but this time there was no diving to save the pretty girl. Only Timmy standing there like every one else, watching Peter Puck waving adios as he slid by, waving a fine how do you do as he tapdanced over the goal line tallying the first goal for Montreal. It was a pretty amazing game but Chara starting playing rock ’em sock ’em robots at the end and I don’t know why he didn’t get a suspension. He was popping Canadiens WITH his gloves on left and right like it was groundhogs day! (see goal at about 1:20 mark)

The LA King’s goalie Jonathan Quick started out having an awesome day but with a freak squeak it started a landslide of swarming blue jackets and he almost lost it for my sweet Drew, AKA, touched by God, Doughty. But it did give a kid his first NHL goal – Calvert which is a good thing but it also gave Columbus some momentum and the Kings almost lost the game after a 4-0 lead!

BUT – on to the happiest news of the weekend – BESIDES the last part of the post to come – Martin Brodeur who was playing BACK-UP, no that is no a typo, was put in net for New Jersey this weekend and although he didn’t win the game, he didn’t implode. He got the start for the next game and they WON!  Not only did they win, he went for the holy grail for goalies, a GOAL! He didn’t get it but he got an ASSIST! Mr. Cherrie was so excited he about peed his pants. He LIVES for that moment in hockey when goalies try for that.

http://nhl.cdn.neulion.net/u/videocenter/embed.swf

Lastly, Ovi returned to true form this weekend and I had to blink repeatedly because I SWEAR I was rewatching an old game which I have resorted to doing. I miss watching him score, so to pull myself out of the grumpy grumps, I rewatched the Caps 10 greatest game pack.  That would make 7 games to watch. So I got a little confused – was it live or was it memorex? And it was LIVE BABY! WAHOO! YAY!



You talking to me?

1: MONEY

Green is no cheap date. Mike makes $5 million/year and his salary cap hit is $5.25 million and .  Brodeur makes $5.2 million/year and his salary cap hit is $5 million.  The Devils actually had to dress fewer than 20 skaters on 10/11 vs. Pittsburgh because injuries meant calling anyone up would put them over $59.4 million in player personnel.  And at the end of this season, the injured (and adorable) Zach Parise becomes a restricted free agent.  Mike will be a RFA in 2012 (at 26 years old), the same year Brodeur’s contract expires (at 40).

2: DEFENSIVE STRATEGY

The Devils are not the team they once were, but they still tend to be defense-heavy and play some pretty boring trap hockey.  You could go into a coma watching these guys.  What on Earth would they want with Mike Green?  Mike was snubbed by Team Canada in the 2010 Olympic selection for not being “defensive” enough (don’t get me started).  It’s the biggest criticism against Mike – he can’t “stay at home.”

1099 games and couting...

3: GOALIES

Dawn hates Varlamov and Neuvy still pays the kids’ fare to ride the bus.  But is goaltending the biggest issue the Caps have? Nuevirth’s save percentage is .906%  Brodeur’s is currenly .896%.  Yes, Bordeur has played 1099 NHL games and his career save percentage is .913%.  But the guy is 38 years old.  Is this number really going up? I think the Caps will bank on someone with potential, not someone near their 40th birthday.

4: FANS

The Devils rank 24th of 30 teams in attendance this season.  Whatever fans are there to see the home team know Brodeur. Sure they know Kovalchuk – as the source of all their problems and the guy with the worst +/- in the NHL.  Parise’s out… so who is left?  If they trade Brodeur, they risk alienating the people who are paying for seats in their shiny new-ish arena.

Don't mess with Mike. He'll totally slap-fight you.

5: IT WOULD REALLY PISS ME OFF

Mike has been nominated for the Norris Tropy the last two seasons – and he lost to Chara in 2009 by 52 votes.  Is that a sign?  I would hate to see him go to such a dismal team when the Caps have been on the brink of greatness two season in a row.  If the Capitals have to win, I want Mike to be part of it.  And I control the universe.  It makes me want to buy one of these shirts:

Costume change!

– Islanders and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hockey Season: Over before it begins?  The Isles haven’t won a playoff series since 1992 (when Crosby was 4 years old) and recently got very excited about Official Team Cupcakes.  Yes really.  So you could argue that news of top defensemen Mark Streit and Kyle Okposo both out for months doesn’t really matter.  But we at WUYS care because Rick DiPietro is our BU pal and we hate to see him confined to the Blair Witch house basement Nassau Coliseum.  Since Streit and Okposo have injuries to opposing shoulders, we suggest they find a Hamptons plastic surgeon to combine their working parts into a single defenseman, so at least someone shows up every night to stand in front of Ricky.

Tastes like sadness.

– Kovalchuk Scores a Goal: And the Devils win 3-2 over Philly.  $100 million (+$3 million fine) looking well spent?

– Brian Gionta is named captain of the Canadiens: Giving us all plenty of rude things to yell at the TV.  Will he do well?  The eighth-seeded Habs downed Washington and Pittsburgh in a pretty epic playoff run last year, so Gionta has both pressure and momentum coming into this season.  Still, at 5′ 7″ tall (measured by the Tom Cruise tape) both Chuck and I could put BG in our pockets.  I’d like to see him tell Hal Gill what to do.

– I’m with the DJ: You can’t afford Winter Classic tickets, even if there were tickets to buy.  You can enter for the chance to win the right to pay $300 a ticket, or buy the Penguins Ultimate Fan Package – tix to the Classic and the first home game at Consol Energy Center for $1500.  Let me tell you what $1500 would have to include… okay, I won’t.  I don’t need to.

I like to be in America...

In totally unimportant news, I got one Sedin and one Staal on my fantasy hockey team, As Good as it Getzlaf (I did not get Ryan Getzlaf).  I’ll spend all season trying to remember which ones.  I had to drop Marc Savard (he hit his head and wants to spend more time with Chuck, not necessarily in that order), but I did get myself Alex Tanguay out of sheer faith.  Luongo and Lundqvist in goal… I’m looking pretty good, I think.  Anyone else playing?