Dan Potash knows what news we can use.

Instant, full-volume inner monologue:

Outside the glass-slash-TV screen.

It’s a understatement to say  the Crosbot is off to a slow start this season. With 3 G and 7 A, his 10 points rank him 134th in the League. This from a guy who finished third in goals last year, and was only beaten on the very last day. The Pens, however, have turned around the struggle bus around and are now 4th in the East (8th in the League) with 24 points.

So what’s the most superstitious guy in the locker room League world to do?

pic.twitter.com/T5gw59x803

— Stephanie (@myregularface) November 20, 2015

He actually changed something. Is the world ending? Look outside. Have you seen any locusts today? How about frogs? If you see one, RUN. A plague may follow.

Even websites that are not this blog are talking about it:  Sporting News | Pensburgh | All of Twitter

From so-hockey-eh.tumblr.com, hashtagged #hishairlookssuper90shere

I imagine Sid debating “warm-up helmet” vs. “peanut butter-and-something-not-jelly” at length. Perhaps he called a friend (John Tavares) who used graph paper to plot the pros and cons (John Tavares).  He didn’t just throw off his helmet in the tunnel and ask Duper to hockey-stick his hair.

Or maybe he did.

https://twitter.com/brittamulaney/status/667491594250166272

Either way, it worked. It even works with that mustache (er, in spite of the mustache). And it worked in real life, as Sid scored the game winning goal vs. Colorado. You know what that means.

:: hair ruffle ::

Forever. Or at least longer than the mustache lasts, a girl can hope.

Full report at 11.

#sorryhesnotsorry

This year I donated on the promise that Mr. Pants would spare us all from his attempt. [Donate here]  Ever the joiners, some of our favorite hockey players could not be persuaded by the same argument.

Does this mustache make my jersey look 80s?

The Sidstache continues its bi-annual tradition of failing to ruin Crosby’s face.

Twitter is our confessional.

For a guy I’m willing to guarantee has never seen an adult film, John Tavares’ mustache is alarmingly licentious.  Give it a week to darken and a glass of scotch, it’ll be straight off Paul Rudd’s face in Anchorman.

Sex Panther (Yes, I really typed that.)

Like our favorite season – playoff beards – Movember is a time when any hockey player can shine.  The enthusiasm is fueled by charity, rivalry and selfies taken up one’s own nose.

crashzoom

Winnik’s mustache is pretty spectacular, but Komarov is no slouch.  Did we say get these mustaches off?  Rescind.  Let these babies grow.

It’s so heavy, he can’t stand up.

Chuck wanted to hire Eddie Lack as our new intern, then Intern Jeff Skinner saw his Movember face and sighed with relief.  This does not work for free.

Time for a trim, Eddie.

She’d have had better luck with Montreal’s Brendan Gallagher, who could get a dollar for every hair in this mustache and still need to borrow five bucks for lunch.

Soul patches may result in disqualification

But it’s not the result that count. It’s the effort and collective knowledge that no one, in any year, can ever really win Movember.  Because let’s face it, not even 2014 Beard of the Year and Stanley Cup winner Jeff Carter can really rock a mustache.  He’s just standing in this hallway, waiting for D’Artagnan to arrive for their duel.

Also resembling this guy from Justified.

Who’s rocking your favorite facial hair this month?  With two weeks to go, who else will finish strong?

Movember – A special time of year when men everywhere, including a number of NHL players, attempt to grow moustaches to raise money and awareness for men’s health.

Some are successful and grow glorious, perfect, masculine facial follies that make us swoon.  And then there are those that try, oh so valiantly, but come up just short.

The Masters.

Uhhhhh…

This year, I’ve made the decision to support men everywhere and participate in this charitable movement as a Mo Sista.  And I want you to join my team!

Pugstache

It doesn’t matter if you’re a Mo Bro or a Mo Sista, I want you on my team!

Guys, sign up to grow a moustache, or ladies, sign up to support the men in your life. It’s going to be a great journey.  It might get a little “hairy”, but it’ll be totally worth it.

Come a part of the What’s Up, Ya Sieve Movember Team by going to http://moteam.co/what-s-up-ya-sieve

You can learn more about the important work and impact the Movember Foundation is having at: http://us.movember.com/programs

But there is a small portion of Movember that is a genuine improvement on life.

Yes, Mike. It’s you.  And it looks like this:

(by our fave Caps snapper, jlrpuck)

What will this November bring?  Urban Dictionary defines a “duster” as a mustache of any kind… or an untalented athlete who gathers dust sitting on the bench. [link]  Oops, unintentional!    This is a top-line look.

Not so much the Fu Manchu, circa 2010.

Though it improves with time.

A smile always helps too.

(Mike only played one game last November.  He returned from a right angle injury just to be immediately re-sidelined by the groin problem that required sports hernia surgery in January 2012.  It was not a good time for us.)

For the record, we prefer this version of Mike Green’s Movember Campaign.  It’s actually from October 2011, but who cares?

Let someone else be funny.  You can just be hot.

Photo by Rae, who is awesome.

It looks so good, you know?  Oh, you know.

Who are you most excited to see this Movember?  Remember, ’tis the season to be careful what you wish for.

But I didn’t make Rick Nash do this.  The camo jersey… since it’s a tribute to Veteran’s Day we’ll declare it okay for the day.  It’s the stache.   Ricky looks like he’s wondering just how much barbed wire he needs to keep you Pinko-Commie-Liberals out of that bunker he dug in the holler.

Maybe it’s better without the camo, right?  WRONG.  See how scared Tazer looks?  He’s signalling you with his eyes – “Help me.  Yes, you.”  Even though in this photo Rick looks more fit to sing ’50s rock about whitewall tires and rollerskating diner waitresses.

A reminder from very lucky WUYS friend Brittany (@blettany) of what Rick Nash usually looks like:

You are SO jealous.

We love Thanksgiving and fall and buying winter coats, but we’re now officially ready for November to be over.  Dear Santa, please bring us anything you want as long as it is clean-shaven or has a full beard.  We promise to be very good (until the All Star break).

Dr. Lucic drops some knowledge…

I do have one bit of advice for Milan, though..

Lose the moustache.

I know it is Movember and all and every dude is growing a moustache to raise awareness for men’s health.  But yours just looks weird.

The current leader board across the NHL has four Washington Caps in the top five spots, raising money for the cause: John Erskine, John Carlson, Karl Alzner and Matt Hendricks – you go my boys!

George Parros of the Anaheim Ducks  SHAVED his famous mustache in support of this event!

Mr. Cherrie has also decided to support this cause by growing his own ‘Mo’ much to my dismay but I guess it’s for a good cause. Stay tuned for that  photo at that end of the month!