Every April, we wonder how we got here – if we got here – and panic. Prayers are said.  Shirts and jerseys are lined up to wear.  Post-traumatic stress resurfaces from last season.   And with all that comes something else, something glorious.

No, not the possibility of winning the Cup.  We’re talking about playoff beards!

2013 Beard of the Year Winner

Here’s a look around this year’s post-season hopefuls, starting with, well…

The Pens TV feature was offline yesterday because the Penguins’ servers are no match for James Neal’s Gingerbeard.

Already GLORIOUS.  Let me tell you James, since you obviously read this blog for tips on fixing your PR problems, the beard is A+.  Glasses too.  Plaid suits, yaaassss. Now keep your promises, don’t be a dirtbag and I may just remove your #futureexboyfriend status.

MAF however, has permission to remove this creation and begin again.

He looks like Kenneth Branaugh in Hamlet which is really just a gateway beard to Kenneth Branaugh in Wild Wild West.  And no one wants to be in Wild Wild West.

See also: Ryan Miller, Ringmaster

You know I love this disaster.  Crosby growing facial hair is like me singing karaoke – zero God-given talent, still goes on stage.  We both compensate with dance moves.

Thanks to modern medicine and some really tight workout shirts, we’re thrilled this gem of a beard will be appearing in our 2014 collection:

Flawless as he always is, Stammer’s beard fascinates because it’s so brown.  Mid-season he hardly appears to have eyebrows, such is his blondness, yet roll around the post-season and Simba starts working on his roar.

Since I mentioned Nealer, here’s Shawn Thornton for good measure.  This art installation began around April 4 and holds promise to become an impressive hedge maze.  Let’s everybody grow beards and nobody get suspended, yeah?

In news you knew was coming, Toews and Kane have been announced as ready to go for Chicago in Game 1 against St. Louis.

That’s right, Wolverine and his trusty sidekick, The Meerkat, ride again.

We’re pretty excited for the Avs to have a go in the playoffs, because we want to see if Gabe can grow a beard.  And we want Matt Duchene back… but mostly Gabe’s beard.  The Avs’ ad campaign asks #WhyNotUs?

Gabe Landeskog, Age 10

Probably #BecauseofthatMohawk, honestly.  But this is a new, sophisticated year.  They’re even hosting “Burgundy and Blue Week” and as much as we love hockey, that’ll be disappointing if it doesn’t involve wine and cheese.

And remember, Max Talbot is on the Avs!   Think he’ll give us one of these, like the good old days?  Probably scare the crap out of his new baby son, but teaching can never start too early.

He can compare it to that of fellow former Penguin Mike Rupp.  I miss this elf costume.

Another excting playoff debut is Jamie Benn.  We know Tyler can phase to Teen Wolf at a moment’s notice (hey, isn’t it Tuesday?), but Jamie’s babyface has never been to the post-season.  We’ve seen an AHL goatee and Movember Mustache, so there’s a beard waiting to happen.  Still we fear the jowl-centric permashadow:

Will again become this:

EGADS.  When we say “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere,” Jamie, we do not mean that part of your face!  You’ve been on a roll lately (sidenoteBattingPracticesigh) – either go all the way or just keep shaving while gazing intently into the camera.

Does Dallas have a bandwagon? Because Imma need a ride.

TJ Oshie joined the Blues Beardathon campaign, so we’ll call his beard The American Dream.  The part of arch-nemesis will be played by Roman Polak.

Even if he could get 6 rounds like the Olympic shootout, TJs only chance at fuzz would still be to adopt a puppy at the end.

Joe Thornton has done the right thing – he’ll be starting fresh when the Sharks see the Kings on Thursday night.  This really gives new meaning to the term faceoff.  Let’s hope he and Brent Burns have planned A Race to Crazy.

April 9                                                                     April 12

The Kings are always regally bearded, but until Mike Richards can’t see past his nose to where Pierre Maguire is trying to groom him on a boardwalk, I find them boring.  Remember when Joaquin Phoenix went crazy, grew a beard and became a rapper (then it was all fake)?  That’s the kind of excitement I expect from LA beards.

Speaking of burly later-round possibilities, Henrik Zetterbeard is doing his best to get back into the Wings lineup.  He will practice today, and while he likely won’t be available for the first round, if the Wings get past Boston at least Chuck will have something to live for.

The Habs have Brandon Prust.  If no one else grows a beard (or if they do), we won’t even notice.

The last and final playoff match up is both my dream and nightmare: Rangers vs. Flyers.  Such drama.  I fantasize about them somehow both losing.  I invent elaborate food poisoning schemes.  I transport them off-world, I drop them into the bottom of the ocean in the end, I retract the ice and everyone falls into a pool of sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.

Is that wrong?

Alas, I must endure.  I caught a hot second of Giroux flipping his hair while being awarded the Toyota Cup for most “Star of the Game” points the other night. Happy Gingers = Slight Weakness.  This beard though.

Even as an unhappy ginger, Scott Hartnell looked – dare I say it? – kind of nice while discussing his major penalty for spearing (subsequent $5k fine came later).

Okay, enough of that.  :: shudder ::

As for the Rangers, Rick Nash looks nice with a beard.  It can dry his tears.

(That wasn’t quite the last playoff matchup, but to the Blue Jackets, I say nothing except see you tomorrow.)

I can’t believe it’s this time of year again.  Are you guys doing okay?  My emotions are 50% excitement and 50% dread soaked in 100% Skittles-flavored vodka.  We’re thankful for beards help to lighten the mood because it’s about to go down.

Video: CBC – Defending Gold: Inside the Making of Canada’s Team

It’s thirty minutes inside the minds and meetings of Team Canada’s architects as they deliberate who’ll wear the red and white in Sochi just over a month from now. The Honorable Stevie Y presiding.

Showing these kids how it’s done.

From Olympic camp back in August, let’s talk about something that’s more awkward that Lucic’s face in this shot – Phanuef’s cardigan.  No, I’m kidding.  I cover my anguish with humor, people!  It’s how I cope.

I’m talking about Mike Green.

Mike is not going to Russia.  There are days when I’m surprised they even let Mike go to Caps games.   His exclusion from the 2010 Canada roster was considered by many a huge snub, a year in which he had 76 points (holy shit) and got his second straight Norris nomination.  Critics pegged Mike as “too offensive” – as in point-scoring, not bothersome – when CAN needed stay-at-home blueliners.  Well compared to 2010, this season is roadkill so I think we can just look away (from my broken heart).

Don’t despair for long.  Team Canada will not lack things to make me happy.

Gah, there is a polo shirt shop in heaven and I’d like to work there.

Most of our cast of The Bachelorette (Part 1, Part 2) are here, method-acting out the roles we assigned for our show:

The Quarterback, gazing into the distance at his achievable dreams with complete disregard for that ladder’s feelings.

The Kid practicing his cursive for writing notes in study hall.

The Class Clown making it all look fun.  (PK might lose this grin when he hears them debating him later in the show.)

The Hot One, rakishly ignoring the photo of his own crazy face in the background while testing the structural integrity of yet another folding chair.

The Quiet One and other French guys being French and quiet.

The Bromance being exclusive.

Fine, you make a better screencap.

Not lost on me was this moment of foreshadowing.  I believe this is the look Crosby and Kunitz gave Neal after a certain incident involving a knee and a head and the desire to make this team.

#disapprovingPenguinstare

The look inside Yzerman’s war room is fascinating, talking about pressure, second-guessing and the chemistry required to put together not only the best team, but the right team.  I got a little nervous when they talked about specific guys: Nash, #TeamEbs, Stammer’s injury.  “They will see this!  They’ll hear you!”  It makes no difference though; on January 7, Yzerman and Co. will have us on the edge of our seats.

Who will get a rose and who will be crying in limo?  Most importantly, what are we going to buy?

Now it’s your turn: give us your thoughts, surprising snubs and bets on Superman Stamkos getting the nod.  If Stammer and Tavares make the team, Tavares won’t wear 91.  My purchase decision anxiety mounts.

Side note: It’s nice to know Canadians suffer the same trials as Americans when it comes to online/in demand TV – being forced to watch the same commercials ad nauseum.

As the NHL season nears, players will fight for their teams and for spots on the 2014 Olympic roster.  And, of course, for a rose on our show.

First rule of The Bachelorette: If we didn’t introduce you in our Casting Call first round, we didn’t see you enough.  Nothing kills a contestant like too little screen time.  That guy in the back on the group date, who hits the bar instead of hitting on the Bachelorette?  You’re not making it buddy.  Get wise now and get your face in front of the camera.

Now, introducing more true love hopefuls for this season of The Bachelorette:

The Quarterback

This guy is THE GUY.  His qualifications obvious.  People whisper as he arrives.  Maybe it’s gone to his head a bit – he was late for the show because he missed his flight, after all.  But he’s got the goods.  While he may not end up being captain of the contestants, it’s well understood the Quarterback has earned that spot.  Surprisingly fun after several bottles of champagne, Jonathan Toews might just win this trophy too.

The Brothers

We regret to announce that while they may make Team Canada, we have disqualified EStaal and Ginger Staal from our show.  Let’s face it – the Bachelorette, completely overwhelmed by all this testosterone, usually makes out with about ALL the guys on the show.  It’s just too weird.  Sorry boys, have the limo take you all the way to Thunder Bay.

Just don’t pack…

The One That Got Away

Oh man.  These choices are tough enough without seeing the guy who broke your heart.  Sure, he’s doing okay now.  And you’re fine.  But remember how much better you were together?  Do you think he remembers?  Is he the reason you ended up on this damned show?  Give your champagne to the Quarterback before you do the ugly cry and throw a shoe at Jordan Staal.

Ugh – don’t expect him to be nice about this either.  Kick me right in the Penguins logo, whydon’tya.

Did he bleach his hair or does the sun naturally have this effect on demigods?

The Hot Dad

There’s always one contestant with a kid.  It softens even the hardest Bachelorette heart, despite worries about losing her figure and ending up on US Weekly’s “Worst Beach Bodies” cover because she ate like Jessica Simpson in her condition.  She’ll rethink everything when this guy brings out his brood for a game of catch, puppy cuddles or whatever else it is that kids with adorable dads do for fun.  Don’t worry about The Hot Dad keeping up either.  Marty St. Louis might just out-score all these kids (again).

The Class Clown

This guy is a quick favorite of any Bachelorette.  The Class Clown rescues her.  Whether it’s a pushy advance from the Quarterback or a boring tangent on soil erosion from the Freshman, he knows how to change a subject with a joke and no one’s the wiser.  Except our Bachelorette.  Have we mentioned PK Subban can pull a sled weighting about 8,000 pounds and his shorts are specially made of Kevlar? You know what they say: happy wife, happy life.

Instagram

The Cowboy

Country is so hot right now.  Every reality show has a redneck to show up the regular boys – catching his own dinner, opening doors, lassoing things he could have easily walked over and picked up.  Bet on a wilderness date in which he exposes the big city metrosexualness of even the manliest man on this show.  Just don’t get offended when he calls you “ma’am.”    Instead consider that Carey Price can do a full split and correctly ride a horse, all while making sure his hat never falls off.

Congrats to Carey on what looks like a ridiculously fun wedding.

The Bromance

In a show about long-term relationship potential, we must nod to the greatest among us.  These guys have no time for the Bachelorette – either they weren’t at camp or made a vampire pact for immortality and no longer show up in photos.  Still they have that magic that unites them for better (LA) or worse (Philly), through good times (the Cup) and bad (the trades).  The Bachelorette should by Richie & Carts… and let them plan her actual bachelorette party.

You can see this Bachelorette has her work cut out for her.  We’ve barely cracked the 47 contestants for spots in Sochi – and big names like Patrick Sharp and #TeamEbs remain.  The good news is 25 will make the Canada Men’s Hockey roster, and a lot will depend on the first three months of the season.  So let’s see it boys.  Get on their radar (and ours), and see if we’ve got a rose with your name on it.

What’s worse, that shirt or that a guy is wearing it?

Nevermind, it’s a tie.

That’s it.  No man candy this week, just saves and goals and hits and shots and the new all-time low I hit every single day while we wait for this to end.

How bad is it?  I’ll even take highlights set to Nickelback.  I’d take Nickelback themselves right now, provided they brought Claude Giroux and a t-shirt gun.

I’d take Phil Kessel straight off a red-eye flight from Manitoba after a bad loss.

I’d take Pierre Maguire, even without Mike Richards.

I told you: new all-time lows happening daily.

BRyan at 0:55.  Ebs at 1:45.  Geno at 2:58.  Flower at 3:26.  Of all the things I miss, I miss this the most.

Hockey: cheaper than therapy.  Come back soon.

To break that tension, let’s ask Tumblr how our favorite NHL players are spending their days.

iCarly wins you over on the issue of his hair by strutting the rest of his impressive self.

Karl Alzner tries to distract you by walking away.

We don’t know, Karl.  Mike’s got a cute date too…

Meanwhile Taylor Hall is home alone, rapping the Nicki Minaj part of ‘Beauty and a Beat’ into a wooden spoon while he bakes sad, lonely brownies. #its3012tonight

Equally sad (because RNH can’t bake) is Ebs, just watching his highlight reel and waiting for Hallsy to get to OKC.

At least Bobby Ryan has better taste in TV (I’m talking about GL, people!).

And Richie’s found someone to hate on since Crosby’s too far away.

While everyone else is in lurrrrrve and shouting it all over town – Gingeroux’s Tweeting about his girlfriend, Max Talbot’s posting photos and I heard that Rick Nash got engaged.  Chuck, is there something you’d like to tell us?

Well, folks.  They did just that.

New Jersey Devils resistance was utterly futile.

Shiny.

Last night, the Kings went into full-on beast mode and beat the New Jersey Devils 6-1 to clinch the first Stanley Cup in the franchise’s 45 year history.

This team, and their entire playoff run was epic – one of firsts, impressive records, and feats of altheticism and skill that make us super jealous.

The Kings barely made the playoffs and are the first ever eight-seed to win the Cup.  They did so with an impressive 16-4 record and a unimaginable 10-1 road record.

They rolled over the #1, #2, and #3 seeds in the Western Conference in dominating fashion and matched the second-fastest run to a Stanley Cup Championship in modern NHL history.

It was no surprise that Jonathan Quick won the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.  Pretty sure his goals-against-average was like -4 and he had a save percentage of eleventy billion.  (It was actually 1.41 GAA and .946 save percentage – both NHL records)

Quick also became the 3rd American-born player to win the Conn Smythe.  Fellow goalie Tim Thomas won last year (like we could forget) and waaaay back in 1994 (when Quick was 8 years old), Brian Leetch from the NY Rangers won it.

Another little tidbit of trivia info – Leetch and Quick both went to school at Avon Old Farms in Connecticut and played in Hockey East (Leetch at Boston College, Quick at UMass Amherst).  Oh and Thomas went to University of Vermont – also a Hockey East school.  HOCKEY EAST REPRESENT!

Daddy, you won! Can I have some M&Ms?

The game itself had a intensity befitting a potential Stanley Cup cliniching game and there can be no doubt that its defining moment came in the first period when the Devils’ Steve Bernier boarded Rob Scuderi.

Scuderi was left bloodied and bruised.

Bernier felt shame and was ejected, resulting in a five-minute power play for the Kings.

During that five minutes, the captain Dustin Brown, Jeff Carter, and Trevor Lewis each scored goals.  The Kings never looked back.

Brown also added two assists and became just the 2nd American-born captain to raise the Cup.  He managed to accomplish that which the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, could not do in his eight year tenure with the Kings.

Anze Kopitar has poised himself on the edge of NHL super stardom.  He tied for the playoff lead in points (20) and goals (8), and finished a ridiculous +16.  Not only is he the first Slovenian to play in the NHL, but now he’ll be the first ever to have his name engraved on the Cup.

He also is the first ever to wear this in a post-game interview.

All hail King Kopitar!

This team was chockful of talent and size and skill and they peaked at the most perfect time.  Their regular season was inconsistent at best as they struggled to score goals, but something special happened after Darryl Sutter took over the team midseason.

So special in fact, that it earned them the most coveted and respected trophy in all of sports.

We are very much looking forward to the Kings’ summer with the Cup and all the photos, tweets, and stories that will undoubtedly follow.

We want to see Dustin Penner eat some pancakes out of the Cup.

We want to Carter and Richards take the Cup on a sunset stroll on the beach.

But most of all, we want to see the players, and their family, friends, and fans, savor every moment of this incredible accomplishment.

CONGRATS to the 2012 Stanley Cup Champion, Los Angeles Kings!

While we don’t like the Devils, we have to give them props for not laying down in front of the purple and black freight train and for pushing the series to a Game 6.

Last week, the Devils were down 3-0 in the series, teetering percariously on the edge, Jonathan Quick poised to send them tumbling into the abyss of the SCF sweep.

No goal for you.

But leave it to Marty Brodeur, the 4o year old future Hall of Fame netminder, to bring the Devils back and for the players like Parise, Salvador, and he of the creeper ‘stach, Henrique, to step up big time.

Have the Devils totally messed with the Kings’ hockey chi?  Will they come from 3-0 down to win their 4th Stanley Cup?

Mike Richards and his heterosexual life partner, Jeff Carter are determined to not make that happen.

Their epic bromance will conquer all.

Most epic of bromances.

If there ever was a time that these two needed to step up, it is tonight.

Time to silence all those hater and critics and to show the Flyers fans what they could have had.

I have confidence in the Kings.  They just need to play the way that they’ve been playing the entire playoffs.  With physicality, skill, strength. But most importantly, to play like one being,  a hockey borg, if you will.

Take a deep breath, boys.  Keep calm and carry on.

Exhale.

Well, sometimes you disappoint when you shave your goatee into a mustache that means you’re not allowed within 100 feet of a playground.

But then, you score the goal that keeps your team’s dream alive:

And somehow, magically, in the post-game your ‘stache has is approaching the border between ‘okay’ and ‘OKAY?!’

Our cries of, “WTH, who shaves in the playoffs?” were for nothing.  Shaving in the playoffs is the new black.  Henrique ditches the goatee, scores the GWG.  Clarkson removes his beautiful ruddy beard and gets an assist.  The entire Devils squad will be shorn for Game 5.

from www.aeryssports.com

As you know, Henrique scored the series-ending double OT goal vs. Florida and the series-ending single OT (boring!) goal vs. New York.  The Calder Trophy voting for Rookie of the Year is only supposed to encompass the regular season – have they already voted?  It’s completely unfair if they haven’t, since neither Nugent-Hopkins or Landeskog reached the post-season.  Still, how can this performance not count?!  There’s no impartial jury out there now.

I felt bad that so many people paid so much money to see their team win at home – I dream of this someday being me.  That was quickly outweighed by my selfish desire for hockey season to last all year.  What else can make us so deliriously happy, gut-wrenchingly sad and seat-shiftingly uncomfortable?

Mike Richards.  Chuck called him a “dark swarthy pirate of love” for this look.  I think he’s starting to resemble an Ewok in the Witness Protection Program.  Pierre, of course, is on a first date.  Watch him do the ‘casual arm-swing’ hoping to brush against Mike.  We know all your tricks, little man!!  He’s going to walk Mike right to his door and hope to be invited in.

ACK.  I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, back to work for both teams Saturday night.  It’s a chance for the Devils to really make this one interesting, or the Kings to extend their record road-game streak.  Either way, I’m glad to get one more game out of this season.

Again? High five.

Not pictured: LA Kings

Chuck and I are Red Sox fans, which means leading a playoff series 3-0 is not enough for us.  We know miracles can happen.  (In case you don’t, in ’04 the Yankees were up 3-0 in the ALCS.  The Red Sox won 4 straight, then another 4 to sweep the Cardinals for the World Series.  The screaming, people.  I can’t even describe it.)   The moral of the story is: we don’t count people out.

from www.latimes.com

Tonight, the Kings will try to sweep the Devils to win the first Stanley Cup in franchise history, in front of their home crowd.  This idea gives us crazy butterflies.  Chuck & Dawn are all for the Kings, and I cry every single year when the Cup is presented, no matter who wins.  I just see rainbows and sprinkles and dreams coming true.  It’s like a Lifetime movie.

If the Kings win tonight, it will be the 21st Finals sweep in the modern era (since the NHL went to a best-of-seven format in 1939).  Sweeps happen more often than a series goes to 7 games (16 times).  Only one NHL team has ever come back from 3-0 down in the Final to win the Cup – the 1942 Maple Leafs.

Despite Peggy’s best efforts, the Cup has arrived.

Since 1939, trends in winning the Stanley Cup Final – from NHL.com [link, the formatting is awful]:

•  Teams winning Game One have won the Cup 54 of 69 times (78.3%).

•  Teams winning both Games One and Two have won the Cup 41 of 44 times (93.2%).

•  Teams winning Games One, Two and Three have won the Cup 24 of 25 times (96%).

More sweep fun facts – ESPN.com [link].

15 fun facts about the Kings – USAToday.com [link]

WOW. From www.deadspin.com.

If you’re thinking what we’re thinking, it’s about this.  Or, more accurately, this happening inside a Ke$sha video filmed in a strip-club-on-a-yacht off Huntington Beach where Snoop Dogg drops from a fireworks-shooting helicopter for a rap solo about best friends forever.

I’m just saying that Cup parade/party photos get us through the summer and you know the Kings’ would be epic.  Twitter would melt.  I’d buy stock in pancakes, donuts, liquor and glitter.    Something tells me that Patrick Elias won’t be dancing shirtless on a table a la Tyler Seguin (or even clothed like Patrick Sharp) but we think TBG Drew Doughty might.

(SIDE NOTE: If you Google “Tyler Seguin dance shirtless,” the #5 photo result is Chuck & Tyler and #12 is me & Chuck.  You guys search that term and find our site A LOT, pervs.)

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  Things are far from over with 60 minutes on the clock and a goalie who has won 3 Stanley Cups – that’s every Cup the Devils have ever won, on Brodeur’s shoulders.  So, down but not out?  Will the Devils slow the Kings 15-2 playoff run and rain on their parade?  If they get one, they head back to NJ for Game Five on Saturday night.  The Kings have won 10 straight road games… but you have to start somewhere.

Saturday night Drew Doughty went from an over-priced, cry-baby, cheese-burger eating hold out to a Rocket Man shooting lazers out his ass and smacking Devils like he was at a carnival and Brown was taunting him with a donut for each one he could take out!

Clearly Drew is VERY motivated! That’s my boyfriend!

The Kings now have the NHL record of 10 road wins in the post-season. But they don’t do well at home. So tonight Magic Cat is wishing you the best of luck boys!

A little something extra between the paws!

Obviously, we’re slightly biased because we pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe hockey since we’ve started this blog.  I mean, not like we didn’t follow hockey closely before WUYS but we’ve progressed to a Beautiful-Mind-writing-on-the-window level of crazy.  But I honestly believe that there is no greater trophy in the history of sport.

Yesterday was the Stanley Cup Finals Media Day, when all the players don their Tuesday best (hooded sweatshirts), trims up their playoff beards (except Dustin Penner), and face the press gauntlet.

Not only does the day allow writers to ask important (and totally ridiculous) questions of the players but it provides us with amazing photos of playoff beards.

Here are some highlights from yesterday’s Media Day at Prudential Center.

• Dustin Penner.  This beard is a fluffy mess.  And I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

Got a craving for some Penncakes.

• Just when you thought Mike Richards couldn’t get any dreamier, he goes and does this.

Dustin Brown. Fully committed to this Amish look.

*harumph* *crosses arms*

A beard like a beautiful sunset

Faustian.

Richards and I ’bout to tear this mutha up!

You’re welcome.  

]]> http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/30/stanley-cup-finals-beard-appreciation-post/feed/ 5 http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/18/ugly-still-gets-it-done/ http://whatsupyasieve.com/2012/05/18/ugly-still-gets-it-done/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 16:41:37 +0000 http://whatsupyasieve.com/?p=10655

um .. did I say Ugly? nah .. I’d take a ride into the boards with these guys ANY DAY!

LA’s Dennis the Menace

It wasn’t either team’s best game but the Kings still came out on top. Which begs the question: Come Saturday – will the Coyotes bring it or will they be swept and wept?

Kopi’s not ready for summer yet!

I’m here to kick ass AND chew bubble gum. Lucky for you, I brought the bubble gum.

• Doughty certainly is a well-rounded player
• Doughty just skated down the Blues bench and told them they’d have to be quicker than that to throw a hit on him
• Doughty just got a free one off Elliott
• Who knew the Kings could go on such a winning streak without Doughty scoring

On a better note – Mike Richards is the only other player with a Gordie Howe Hatrick! The other player – Gingeroux!

I’m sexy and I know it!

So for those keeping count, the Kings are up 3-0 AGAIN in their series. For an 8^th seat team – that’s super totes. For a Sutter brother, it’s in the genes.

For the Blues, evidently, this is their way of keeping Doughty in check – evidently, they stole my diary:

Hey there handsome! yes, I embarrassed you in front of your team, that was me

Ok, I’m starting this off with I don’t hate the Vancouver Canucks. I just happen to LOVE the LA KINGS – even more so after seeing them last night. Look at the play-off beard!

do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Mr. Canuck fan? no wonder you're with another dude at this game!

F%ck you camera man! Telling me I suck. I made it on the Jumbotron anyway! so suck it ... we won too!

The one question I kept getting asked last night was – Why do you like the LA KINGS? Really? I saw Mr. Cherrie hold his breath hoping against all hope I wasn’t going to say something snarky so I waited until now: (our two little friends above the exit sign where AWESOME!) HI!

1. LA has a real goal tender – Quick doesn’t cry either!

Koppie tried flipping me a puck during warm up! totes love for you.

2. LA has Kopitar who can stick handle in a phone booth and I believe is about to cut loose because he is certainly due

He's all class and no sass!

3. LA has Dustin Brown with 2 shorties on them in their barn

Capt. Downtown Brown was trying not to laugh at my sign. Quick had a giggle too along with the rest of the team giving Doughty shit.

4. LA has Jeff Carter and Mike Richards now
5. LA has Drew Doughty (of course)

Drew also tried to flip me a puck during warm-ups!

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

This was totally staged for my pleasure because they were all laughing and trying not to look at me. Hello -Paging Kings Fan of One.

See ... they started laughing and 22 (Trevor Lewis) is a stone cold FOX

But I would like to give a shout out and a thanks to the gracious Canucks fans who let me stand in front of them during the warm-ups so I could watch. They were very nice about it and I truly appreciated it.

Sidney Crosby is out again with concussion-like symptoms.  He passed the ImPACT test but says he doesn’t feel 100%.  In this case, we appreciate the caution and honesty.  And the hilarious idea that he could be less than perfect.  He’ll be keeping also concussed Kris Letang company in the press box.

Zdeno Chara sprained his knee Saturday in an injury that apparently looked worse than it was.  Coach Julien says he’s day-to-day, though doubtful for tonight vs. Los Angeles. [link]

Mike Green is seeing a specialist for his injured groin.  I could make so many jokes if I weren’t crying.  Nicky used all the tissues and I’m wiping tears on my sleeve now.  Mike is skating and his spirits are high (a Twitter-verified fact), but he has played in only 8 games this season.  The Washington Express had a big, sad story on him today [link, page 9].

Claude Giroux, possibly the only ginger human I don’t like, is out indefinitely with a concussion.  He was injured by friendly fire on Saturday when Wayne Simmonds’ knee caught his head as Simmonds attempted to jump over Giroux’s fallen body.  [link]

The Islanders activated Evgeni Nabakov from injured reserve yesterday; apparently his groin injury is healed.  Good thing because Rick DiPietro (go BU) is out with the same problem. [link – and why did the Sacramento Bee pick up this story?]

Intern Jeff Skinner owes a few dollars to the Liar Jar, we think.  It was reported Friday that Jeff had “flu-like symptoms,” while everyone thought he might be concussed from a hit he took vs. EDM on Wednesday.  Coach Muller says they’re wrong, but Skinns is questionable for tonight vs. Toronto. [link]

Don't try to distract us! We are really worried!

Sabres Mike Weber, Paul Gaustad and Patrick Kaleta are returning to the lineup, which still leaves them with approximately 212 injured players. [link]

Foxy Friday Mike Richards gave his first interview since sustaining a head injury (unofficial concussion) on December 1. [link]  Even after the hit he can’t stop talking trash and getting in people’s faces.

Brian Gionta (BC sucks) has missed one game with a lower body injury, and is expected to miss tonight.  The Habs currently have 8 (hundred) players out of the lineup. [link]

The Cancuks will get Dan Hamhuis and Cody Hodgson back tonight, leaving them with 10 other injured players.

AND…

Last but not least...

Calgary’s Alex Tanguay had the flu. He’s better.  That’s my lobster!

In case you missed it, the Rapture has been rescheduled for today.  It was more convenient for everyone.  So we figured we might as well start confessing our deepest secrets, like Mike Richards is pretty foxy.  Just not (never never ever) as a Flyer.

LA vs. Philly comes down to two words: Shiny Shirts.

Richards was traded to Los Angeles in June, surprising everyone.  He was the Flyers captain, with 9 years left on his contract (he’s 26) and a marquee name in a sports-mad city.  If you believe the talk, he and bromance-buddy Jeff Carter debauched their way right out of the Philly.  Richie says he’s looking ” forward to having a lower profile” in SoCal [link].  Chuck and I can promise (after 10 collective years in LA) that 99% of that population doesn’t know hockey from bobsledding.  So good plan.

Pack the arms. Leave the shirt.

Richie has a sick house in his Ontario hometown, where he hangs out with Cabbie a lot.  Really, Carts should worry.  Austin Powers designed this place – they must have disabled the bell that plays “boychickawowwow” whenever someone comes in the door.  Don’t give up until at least the second hot tub.

He also on Twitter at @Mrichie18, where he will win you over with his decent grammar as he trash talks other former Flyers.

Still struggling to get over the whole Flyers thing?  Not convinced quite yet?  Fine, here.

Don’t know who these other people are, don’t care.

This Foxy Friday has been brought to you by the letter F and is dedicated to our new friends (who love Richie and the Kings):